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Do You Have Friends Who Don't Keep Their Word?


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This has been bothering me for a while, a particular friend of mine loves to make empty promises and when confronted, his excuse is that friends shouldn’t have expectations on each other.

Example.

He said he wanted to watch Starwars with me, I took his word for it and rejected my other friends when they asked. It's out for a week plus and when i asked him today, he said he watched already.

If that's the case, why ask me in the first place?

The are several other situations which I let it pass but this is really getting on my nerves.

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Yup, drop them.

Had a couple of friends who are like that too, then after they'll cook up some ultra lame excuse expecting me to believe it, or subtly shift the blame to me, eg. "O, from your body language you didn't seem interested" - eh hello, we were texting??!!

Never answered back any of their calls or text since.

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I used to have many those kind of friends when i was in primary. Then many of those friends in secondary. Then slightly lesser of those kind of friends in poly. I dumped all those friends who just not trust worthy as true friends. Now i only have a few friends but that's enough for me. I dont need so many shitty quality friends. Just a few good quality true friends i am happy.

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No, as they r no longer my friend anymore.

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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I used to have many those kind of friends when i was in primary. Then many of those friends in secondary. Then slightly lesser of those kind of friends in poly. I dumped all those friends who just not trust worthy as true friends. Now i only have a few friends but that's enough for me. I dont need so many shitty quality friends. Just a few good quality true friends i am happy.

Agreed. Quality over quantity any day. Have a truly-close circle of true friends (and make sure you're being a true friend yourself!) - and I'm genuinely happy. Reallly.

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This type of friends is as bad as those who treat you like a SOS hotline. 

Only when in need and in trouble, they will message you for help, and when their crisis is over, you will be cast aside.

 

Spend your time cultivating friendship with people who are worth your time, drop all these people.

 

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we all know someone like this don't we. lol

 

I used to keep such people, but nowadays I drop them within 3 repeated occurrence, life is too short to fret over such "friends". 

 

I had a friend who suggested an overseas trip with me, we discussed plans and fixed dates, just short of booking tickets. Guess what, he went with another friend instead because that guy is more useful for his agenda and purposes in the trip despite his arrangement with me. 

 

His excuse was, "you seem disinterested since we didn't discuss further after that." WTF?

 

It was plain clear he was making use of the other friend who had everything served on a platter for him and he just needed to tag along like a princess. 

 

People like him are always thinking of himself first and it becomes the fault of others when he betrays the trust. Do you need such inconsiderate, untrustworthy and unreliable people in your life? I don't think sooooo.

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Interesting discussion.

 

Instead of dropping such friends, why not take this as an opportunity to cultivate effective communication or manage expectations better? 

 

I do have friends who are like the ones you have too. Thus I will make sure I will go beyond simply asking and getting their interest by getting them to commit to some action plan, e.g. dates, setting reminders, getting consensus on dates using apps like LouLou, etc. I believe some friends are just plain forgetful or belong to the non-committal sort but do have some other nice qualities about them that have kept you as friends. All they need is just a little nudging.

 

Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. 

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Interesting discussion.

 

Instead of dropping such friends, why not take this as an opportunity to cultivate effective communication or manage expectations better? 

 

I do have friends who are like the ones you have too. Thus I will make sure I will go beyond simply asking and getting their interest by getting them to commit to some action plan, e.g. dates, setting reminders, getting consensus on dates using apps like LouLou, etc. I believe some friends are just plain forgetful or belong to the non-committal sort but do have some other nice qualities about them that have kept you as friends. All they need is just a little nudging.

 

Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. 

 

You could be this type if you endorse such moves. 

I tend to keep my word once given, I don't randomly loose cannon and string a few friends and pick from there at my convenience and I expect the same from my friends.

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Some interesting but real examples:

 

Eg 1

 

My friend promised to show me his undies pic provided I showed him mine.  But after I sent him my pics, he did not show me his and also stopped talking to me.

 

Eg 2

 

Another friend and I agreed to trade our used (but clean) undies such as TOOT, Groovin, GX3, etc.  We showed each other pics of ourselves wearing the various undies, and we got really excited about the exchange.  So we met at the appointed venue and took a corner table out of sight of other people.  I passed 3 of my undies to him in a plastic bag.  After receiving and inspecting carefully front and back, inside and outside one by one, he kept the plastic bag into his backpack. When I queried him where his undies were, he said his undies (that I had chosen) were in the laundry and he could not bring them out as they would be all wet.  He said that if I wanted it badly, I could only take the one that he was wearing that day.  He pulled down his berms a little to show me that pair.  I looked at it and decided that it was not really what I liked.  Moreover, it was a cheap of Renoma undies that he was wearing.  So I said we would arrange to meet again.  After that day, I reminded him a couple of times.  He replied but kept giving excuses that he was too busy to meet up.  It has been 9 months since that day.

 

Eg 3

 

Yet another friend and 1 are both tops, and we agreed that we wanted to try how it was like to be a btm.  So we planned and went to get a room at Hotel 81.  He said let him enter me first, and after that it would be my turn to enter him.  After I endured the pain of his penetration for almost 15 mins, and let him shoot his big load in my hole in his condom, I was excited and hard at the prospect of entering him.  But he said he was tired and he was not feeling well, and so he could not let me penetrate him.  He asked me to jo on my own.  Shortly after that, we left.  He did not even apologise for breaking his promise.  

 

 

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Some interesting but real examples:

 

Eg 1

 

My friend promised to show me his undies pic provided I showed him mine.  But after I sent him my pics, he did not show me his and also stopped talking to me.

 

Eg 2

 

Another friend and I agreed to trade our used (but clean) undies such as TOOT, Groovin, GX3, etc.  We showed each other pics of ourselves wearing the various undies, and we got really excited about the exchange.  So we met at the appointed venue and took a corner table out of sight of other people.  I passed 3 of my undies to him in a plastic bag.  After receiving and inspecting carefully front and back, inside and outside one by one, he kept the plastic bag into his backpack. When I queried him where his undies were, he said his undies (that I had chosen) were in the laundry and he could not bring them out as they would be all wet.  He said that if I wanted it badly, I could only take the one that he was wearing that day.  He pulled down his berms a little to show me that pair.  I looked at it and decided that it was not really what I liked.  Moreover, it was a cheap of Renoma undies that he was wearing.  So I said we would arrange to meet again.  After that day, I reminded him a couple of times.  He replied but kept giving excuses that he was too busy to meet up.  It has been 9 months since that day.

 

Eg 3

 

Yet another friend and 1 are both tops, and we agreed that we wanted to try how it was like to be a btm.  So we planned and went to get a room at Hotel 81.  He said let him enter me first, and after that it would be my turn to enter him.  After I endured the pain of his penetration for almost 15 mins, and let him shoot his big load in my hole in his condom, I was excited and hard at the prospect of entering him.  But he said he was tired and he was not feeling well, and so he could not let me penetrate him.  He asked me to jo on my own.  Shortly after that, we left.  He did not even apologise for breaking his promise.

 

While most of what you've written sounds like the other party never was a friend to begin with, the bolded part is what I thought about mainly when reading the first post.

 

It's out for a week plus and when i asked him today, he said he watched already.

 

Had he reacted in an apologetic manner, feeling guilty for forgetting about his prior plans/promise to you and perhaps getting caught up with another invitation thus breaking his word, that would have been somewhat acceptable (then again we won't know if all of that was an act to begin with, in which can be pretty obvious if such incidents occur regularly with 'that friend').

 

I believe he only asked you as he had no one to watch it with at that point of time, in an attempt to 'secure someone' to watch the movie with and save himself from watching it alone (I don't see how catching a movie in the cinemas alone can be a bad/embarrassing thing though but I digress) and as soon as another offer came up, presumably better for him to 'ditch you', he went for it. If he really showed no remorse whatsoever for breaking his word, I'd drop him. Or at least start being aware of this side to him if this is the very first time. However given what you've described about him below, I'd definitely disregard him as a friend.

 

loves to make empty promises and when confronted, his excuse is that friends shouldn’t have expectations on each other.

several other situations which I let it pass 

 

I've once promised to watch a movie with someone but got caught up with another invitation that happened in the spur of the moment, and ended up watching it with another group of friends. I actually felt really guilty later on, apologised to this friend of mine and accompanied him anyway to watch it again with him followed by chilling out after to make up for it.  

It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

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  • 1 month later...
On 27/12/2015 at 8:40 PM, Guest Guest said:

This has been bothering me for a while, a particular friend of mine loves to make empty promises and when confronted, his excuse is that friends shouldn’t have expectations on each other.

Example.

He said he wanted to watch Starwars with me, I took his word for it and rejected my other friends when they asked. It's out for a week plus and when i asked him today, he said he watched already.

If that's the case, why ask me in the first place?

The are several other situations which I let it pass but this is really getting on my nerves.

 

If you guys have decided on a date to watch Star wars, and he told you he watched it already, drop him.

You can survive without him, and he can survive without you.

Image00109.jpg

I'm always running after you.

You are my ideal.

You are me.

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On 12/28/2015 at 10:49 PM, Guest yaan said:

Some interesting but real examples:

 

Eg 1

 

My friend promised to show me his undies pic provided I showed him mine.  But after I sent him my pics, he did not show me his and also stopped talking to me.

 

Eg 2

 

Another friend and I agreed to trade our used (but clean) undies such as TOOT, Groovin, GX3, etc.  We showed each other pics of ourselves wearing the various undies, and we got really excited about the exchange.  So we met at the appointed venue and took a corner table out of sight of other people.  I passed 3 of my undies to him in a plastic bag.  After receiving and inspecting carefully front and back, inside and outside one by one, he kept the plastic bag into his backpack. When I queried him where his undies were, he said his undies (that I had chosen) were in the laundry and he could not bring them out as they would be all wet.  He said that if I wanted it badly, I could only take the one that he was wearing that day.  He pulled down his berms a little to show me that pair.  I looked at it and decided that it was not really what I liked.  Moreover, it was a cheap of Renoma undies that he was wearing.  So I said we would arrange to meet again.  After that day, I reminded him a couple of times.  He replied but kept giving excuses that he was too busy to meet up.  It has been 9 months since that day.

 

Eg 3

 

Yet another friend and 1 are both tops, and we agreed that we wanted to try how it was like to be a btm.  So we planned and went to get a room at Hotel 81.  He said let him enter me first, and after that it would be my turn to enter him.  After I endured the pain of his penetration for almost 15 mins, and let him shoot his big load in my hole in his condom, I was excited and hard at the prospect of entering him.  But he said he was tired and he was not feeling well, and so he could not let me penetrate him.  He asked me to jo on my own.  Shortly after that, we left.  He did not even apologise for breaking his promise.  

 

 

whats ur definition of friend?

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Too many people I know who don't keep their and always have some way to justify they can't afterward. That's the society you are living in now. Dog eat dog world. It takes a lot to ensure you have some kind of a plan to make sure they do. There was a time your word is your bond. Your reputation to keep it. This day I have friends or business people who just smile it off and they expect you to take it that, that is the way life goes some time and not to take it so hard. But when you do it to them, they cry mother and father cows at you.

 

So best thing to do is, weight your importance on the promise kept. If it is something you can not hope to get done as promise, be willing to get it half done or find some incentive to give that person if he gets it done. Or do the deed yourself. I usually try to do it myself when possible and I know I can do it fasters though it might take a bit of my time.

** Comments are my opinions, same as yours. It's not a 'Be-All-and-End-All' view. Intent's to thought-provoke, validate, reiterate and yes, even correct. Opinion to consider but agree to disagree. I don't enjoy conflicted exchanges, empty bravado or egoistical chest pounding. It's never personal, tribalistic or with malice. Frank by nature, means, I never bend the truth. Views are to broaden understanding - Updated: Nov 2021.

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  • 1 year later...

yap, got to be careful with friends like these...........have an experience with a friend, suppose to go genting, book the hotel and last minute he call to cancel, wasted the hotel room but lucky did not book the transport....with friend like these, u got to get them to do the booking instead :clap:

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On 12/28/2015 at 10:49 PM, Guest yaan said:

Some interesting but real examples:

 

Eg 1

 

My friend promised to show me his undies pic provided I showed him mine.  But after I sent him my pics, he did not show me his and also stopped talking to me.

 

Eg 2

 

Another friend and I agreed to trade our used (but clean) undies such as TOOT, Groovin, GX3, etc.  We showed each other pics of ourselves wearing the various undies, and we got really excited about the exchange.  So we met at the appointed venue and took a corner table out of sight of other people.  I passed 3 of my undies to him in a plastic bag.  After receiving and inspecting carefully front and back, inside and outside one by one, he kept the plastic bag into his backpack. When I queried him where his undies were, he said his undies (that I had chosen) were in the laundry and he could not bring them out as they would be all wet.  He said that if I wanted it badly, I could only take the one that he was wearing that day.  He pulled down his berms a little to show me that pair.  I looked at it and decided that it was not really what I liked.  Moreover, it was a cheap of Renoma undies that he was wearing.  So I said we would arrange to meet again.  After that day, I reminded him a couple of times.  He replied but kept giving excuses that he was too busy to meet up.  It has been 9 months since that day.

 

Eg 3

 

Yet another friend and 1 are both tops, and we agreed that we wanted to try how it was like to be a btm.  So we planned and went to get a room at Hotel 81.  He said let him enter me first, and after that it would be my turn to enter him.  After I endured the pain of his penetration for almost 15 mins, and let him shoot his big load in my hole in his condom, I was excited and hard at the prospect of entering him.  But he said he was tired and he was not feeling well, and so he could not let me penetrate him.  He asked me to jo on my own.  Shortly after that, we left.  He did not even apologise for breaking his promise.  

 

 

 

Last one is an !#@%##$%!

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Guest Guest

I got friends who say he will treat me to a holiday trip if he won first prize. But after he won 230k. He change HP and all promises become empty talk. 

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I can live with friends who don't keep their words, but not boyfriends.

 

It's ok to con my monies but not toy with my feelings.

 

 

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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Guest Guest
On 2015-12-27 at 8:40 PM, Guest Guest said:

This has been bothering me for a while, a particular friend of mine loves to make empty promises and when confronted, his excuse is that friends shouldn’t have expectations on each other.

Example.

He said he wanted to watch Starwars with me, I took his word for it and rejected my other friends when they asked. It's out for a week plus and when i asked him today, he said he watched already.

If that's the case, why ask me in the first place?

The are several other situations which I let it pass but this is really getting on my nerves.

Yes I concur..i really hate such people. I have a forner friend who is like that. That friend made an appointment with me for lunch, i agreed. I was suppose to go to market that day but i rearranged by other appointments to fit that friend.

 

2 days before appointment, i asked that friend, he said he will whatsapp me later, so i let it go..1 day before appointment, i ask again and he say i typical singaporean is it? Why so kiasu..i said ok again...on day of appointment, he was uncontactable! I managed to get hold of him at 1.30pm, he said have to cancel because he was sick and had porridge already..i was like 'huh??? Why did you not tell me?'..

 

I made effort and reschedule my appointments and he did not tell me at advance he have to cancel and did not keep his word!

 

Few days later, i decided to confront him on this terrible situation. I demanded to know why did he not keep his word as he wasted my precious time. I made great effort to meet his demands and re arranged my time.

 

These people cannot be trusted. Do not befriend them as their words are cheap and worthless. They are out to hurt you and waste your time and energy.

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Guest Words
13 hours ago, fab said:

I can live with friends who don't keep their words, but not boyfriends.

 

It's ok to con my monies but not toy with my feelings.

 

 

Depends on what kind of words.  Some frightening words are BEST NOT KEPT.

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A person who dont keep their words is not worth keeping as friend but listen to their reasons first to see if their reasons are acceptable or not.

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80% of friends, family and relative are like that... keep their word is a loose thingy but when it is from you that you promise.. they hold you against that till you do it. Most humans if not taught or socially nurtured are otherwise inherently selfish and self interest. Love itself is a selfish thing if you think about it.  heh

Edited by upshot

** Comments are my opinions, same as yours. It's not a 'Be-All-and-End-All' view. Intent's to thought-provoke, validate, reiterate and yes, even correct. Opinion to consider but agree to disagree. I don't enjoy conflicted exchanges, empty bravado or egoistical chest pounding. It's never personal, tribalistic or with malice. Frank by nature, means, I never bend the truth. Views are to broaden understanding - Updated: Nov 2021.

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