LupCheong Posted October 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2007 Your Sunday joke One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news", said God. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first". Smiling, God explained, 'I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2007 welcome floor mat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2007 Your joke for Monday, have a good week A young man once asked God how long a million years was to him.God replied, "A million years to me is just like a single second in your time."Then the young man asked God what a million dollars was to Him.God replied, "A million dollars to me is just like a single penny to you."Then the young man got his courage up and asked: "God, could I have one of your pennies?"God smiled and replied, "Certainly, just a second." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2007 A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, "I'll do anything you want for 50 pounds."He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones.He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2007 Breathtaking Winter Images Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2007 Your joke for Wed A woman was walking through the halls of a hotel when she passed by 3 hotel rooms. In the first hotel room she hears a woman laughing. In the second hotel room she hears a woman crying, and in the third hotel room she hears nothing. The woman later decides to go to the hotel rooms and find out what was going on. The people in the first hotel room said that they were on their honeymoon, and that their wedding was so short it was funny. The people in the second hotel room were also on their honeymoon, the woman said that their wedding was so long it was sad. Finally the woman went to the last hotel room. The people in the third hotel room were also on their honeymoon. When the woman asked why she heard nothing the woman said,"My mother told me never to talk with my mouth full." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Happy Halloween!10. How can you tell vampires like BASEBALL?They turn into BATS every night!9. What did the skeleton say to the bartender?I'll have a beer and a MOP!8. What do witches put on their hair?SCARE spray!7. What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?A real PAIN in the neck!6. Why aren Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Zodiac Signs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Zodiac Signs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Your joke for Thurs An ugly woman walks into to a psychiatrist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Hi Guys,I've prepared 3 days of jokes in a row for you as I will be away for a short break, enjoy your weekend! Here's your joke for Friday A 747 was starting its descent and the pilot had forgotten to turn off the P.A. system. ''As soon as I clock off'' he said, ''I'm going to have a nice cold beer and then screw the arse off that blonde flight attendant.'' The horrified flight attendant made a dash toward the cockpit, but tripped over in the aisle. A little old lady sitting there whispered, ''There's no need to hurry love, he said he was going to have a beer first.'' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Your Saturday joke A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die". 1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.2.At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.3.For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don't burden him with household chores.4.Have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim. On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her."You're going to die," she replied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Your Sunday joke Dear Dad,$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you wouldlike, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.Love,Your $on.* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *Dear Son,I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even anhoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NObletask, and you can never study eNOugh.Love,Dad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted October 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 The Darwin Awards Yes, it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 Sorry folks , just back from my honeymoon , here's your joke for MondayIn 1993, the University of Kentucky did a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $ 80,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.After the study was published, the University of South Carolina decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.The University of Georgia, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 Your joke for Tuesday Two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was always after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up after some love making, and he said, "You really ought to quit."She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex."He replied, "But they stunt your growth." She asked if he ever smoked, and he replied that he had never.Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's your excuse then?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buaya Posted November 6, 2007 Report Share Posted November 6, 2007 Eww! *Sob* Anyway, welcum back, ah Lup! Quote Visit me @ http://ibuaya.blogspot.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 6, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2007 Thanks ah bua! Good to be back! Here are some hilarious work safe ideas Better than 3M face mask? An improvised Safety Helmet, how original! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 6, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2007 Your joke for Wed A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked, "If you woke up in the woods and scratched your butt and felt vasoline, would you tell anyone?""Hell no!" the guy said.The stranger then asked, "If you felt further into your crack and pulled out a used condom, would you tell anyone?"The man said, "Of course not.""Wanna go camping?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 6, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2007 How Hippos Do it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Your joke for the holiday Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring.This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring."As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet."As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go fxxk herself!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Wise WordsOne day, a well-learned professor asked his students:"Why do we shout when we are angry?"All the students pondered for a long time, then one student said "We shout because we lost our cool"The professor asked again, "But that person is just beside you, yet you still shout. Can't you say it softly? Must you shout?"Almost all the students talked among themselves and gave some answers. But none of the answers was satisfactory to the professor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Lastly the professor explained :" When two person are angry, their hearts are very far apart. So in order to hide this distance between them, they have to shout in order for each other to hear.""But when one shouts, one feel angrier, the angrier they are, the further apart the distance is, so they have to shout even louder"The professor further elaborated :" What happens when two person are in love? The scenario is just the opposite. Not only will they not shout, they whisper to one another. Why is that so?""Because there seems to be no distance between their hearts, that is why people in love always whisper in one another ears. And because the love in their heart grows deeper for each other, eventually words are even not necessary .""And they just need to use their eyes to convey their message of love for one another. By this time, there is always no distance between their hearts." Lastly the professor came to a conclusion."When two people are quarelling, don't let the hearts grow apart. And don't say something that may makes the heart grow even further apart.""Naturally after a few days, wait until the distance between two hearts are not so far apart, then have a heart to heart talk."P.S. Sorry for my poor translation as I am not an EC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Your joke for Friday At a posh Las Vegas casino, a blackjack dealer and a player with a 13 count in his hand are arguing about whether or not it is appropriate to tip the dealer. The player says, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealer's fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously has nothing to do with that either, so why should I tip him?" The dealer replies, "When you eat at a restaurant do you tip the waiter?" "Yes," the gambler concedes. "Well then, he serves you food; whether it's good or bad isn't up to him. By the same token, I'm serving you cards, so you should tip me." "OK," says the gambler, "but the waiter gives me what I ask for.I'll take an 8." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HendryTan Posted November 9, 2007 Report Share Posted November 9, 2007 Fighting with LupCheong for your smiles 1. Check out these video clipsa. How to deal with telemarketershttp://www.5min.com/Video/How-to-deal-with...marketers-11923b. See whether you shower like a woman or a manhttp://www.5min.com/Video/How-to-take-a-shower-3751c. How to scare people on the road (Do NOT try it !)http://www.5min.com/Video/How-to-scare-peo...n-the-road-9926d. How to put on a condom correctlyhttp://www.5min.com/Video/how-to-put-on-a-...-correctly-2317e. Learn different kind of kisshttp://www.5min.com/Video/Learn-different-...-of-kisses-12792. French Maid Series a. How to give CPRhttp://www.frenchmaidtv.com/pages/ep_cpr.htmlCheck out the web sites, got many more.Enjoy your weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2007 Thanks Hendry, no need to fight lah, just share share...hehe Your joke for Sat "That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbor."You didn't do it, did you?""I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2007 The most comfortable workplace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2007 Your joke for Sunday Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?A. Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LupCheong Posted November 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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