Zealouslogue Posted June 13, 2021 Report Share Posted June 13, 2021 Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon. thickpec and Dart 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 14, 2021 Report Share Posted June 14, 2021 A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 14, 2021 Report Share Posted June 14, 2021 A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 14, 2021 Report Share Posted June 14, 2021 What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? "Put it on my ass." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dart Posted June 14, 2021 Report Share Posted June 14, 2021 21 hours ago, Zealouslogue said: Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon. In addition to your cute joke: Why did another melon got hibernated in the freezer? It wanted to be a winter-melon. Zealouslogue and thickpec 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 15, 2021 Report Share Posted June 15, 2021 What has a bed that you can't sleep in? A river Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dart Posted June 15, 2021 Report Share Posted June 15, 2021 Which bank has no money? The river bank thickpec 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hahaha Posted June 15, 2021 Report Share Posted June 15, 2021 What do you call the prostitute from Pakistan? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 16, 2021 Report Share Posted June 16, 2021 Psych prof: Has anyone heard of Pavlov? Me: It rings a bell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 16, 2021 Report Share Posted June 16, 2021 Why were the teacher's eyes closed? He couldn't control his pupils. thickpec 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 18, 2021 Report Share Posted June 18, 2021 How does the ocean say hello? It waves. thickpec 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 19, 2021 Report Share Posted June 19, 2021 What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match, thickpec 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 5 minutes ago, Nightingale said: A man went to confession and told the priest: “I have a steady girlfriend but last week, I went to her house and there was nobody at home except her sister. We were all alone and we ended up having sex.” “That’s bad, my son,” said the priest, “but at least you can see that you have made a mistake.” The man continued: “Then later that day, I went to my girlfriend’s office to look for her, but nobody was around except one of her colleagues. So I had sex with her too.” “That’s very bad, my son.” The man went on. “Then yesterday, I went to my girlfriend’s uncle’s house to look for her, but nobody was home except her aunt. So I had sex with her too.” The priest made no reply. “Father? … Father?” Realising that the priest wasn’t there, the man searched for him and found him hiding behind a wall. “What are you doing, Father?” “I suddenly realised you and I are the only ones around ….” Then he rips off the priest's clothes and has sex with him too... 🤣 Nightingale 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 23, 2021 Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 Which U.S state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in mini soda) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 24, 2021 Report Share Posted June 24, 2021 Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted. thickpec 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melon Posted June 24, 2021 Report Share Posted June 24, 2021 On 6/14/2021 at 8:43 PM, Dart said: In addition to your cute joke: Why did another melon got hibernated in the freezer? It wanted to be a winter-melon. Why did another of another melon listens to ŕock song. It wanted to be a rock melon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melon Posted June 24, 2021 Report Share Posted June 24, 2021 On 6/14/2021 at 8:43 PM, Dart said: In addition to your cute joke: Why did another melon got hibernated in the freezer? It wanted to be a winter-melon. Why did the melon wears a mask? It wanted to be a musk melon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melon Posted June 24, 2021 Report Share Posted June 24, 2021 On 6/14/2021 at 8:43 PM, Dart said: In addition to your cute joke: Why did another melon got hibernated in the freezer? It wanted to be a winter-melon. What did the hami melon say and do when he met winter-melon with runny nose in the freezer? He passed him a tissue and said hami-su? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mouse Posted June 24, 2021 Report Share Posted June 24, 2021 On 6/23/2021 at 3:31 PM, Zealouslogue said: Which U.S state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in mini soda) What is the smallest mouse in the world. Minnie Mouse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 25, 2021 Report Share Posted June 25, 2021 Apparently, you can't use "beef stew" as a password. Its not stroganoff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 26, 2021 Report Share Posted June 26, 2021 Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 29, 2021 Report Share Posted June 29, 2021 Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted June 30, 2021 Report Share Posted June 30, 2021 Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? Because its pointless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted July 3, 2021 Report Share Posted July 3, 2021 What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates! CCK central 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted July 4, 2021 Report Share Posted July 4, 2021 Why are teddy bears never hungry? Because they're always stuffed! Justanoldman 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passinthenight Posted August 29, 2021 Report Share Posted August 29, 2021 How much does it cost for a pirate to get both of his ears pierced? A buccaneer 🤪 a buck an ear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted August 29, 2021 Report Share Posted August 29, 2021 On 8/29/2021 at 11:29 AM, passinthenight said: How much does it cost for a pirate to get both of his ears pierced? A buccaneer 🤪 a buck an ear. HAHAHAHA. Good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Harley Posted September 4, 2021 Report Share Posted September 4, 2021 What joke is so dumb it's actually funny? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted September 11, 2021 Report Share Posted September 11, 2021 How can a joke a day be keeping the bitches away, when it is the bitch who is here doing the posting of lame jokes everyday? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passinthenight Posted October 9, 2021 Report Share Posted October 9, 2021 thickpec 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nightwhore Posted October 9, 2021 Report Share Posted October 9, 2021 On 9/11/2021 at 11:57 PM, Guest Guest said: How can a joke a day be keeping the bitches away, when it is the bitch who is here doing the posting of lame jokes everyday? LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passinthenight Posted October 13, 2021 Report Share Posted October 13, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passinthenight Posted October 14, 2021 Report Share Posted October 14, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passinthenight Posted October 20, 2021 Report Share Posted October 20, 2021 thickpec 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealouslogue Posted October 20, 2021 Report Share Posted October 20, 2021 What do you call the security outside of a Samsung store? Guardians Of The Galaxy. thickpec 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passinthenight Posted November 16, 2021 Report Share Posted November 16, 2021 I nearly became a Doctor . When I was young in the late 1980's, I decided I wanted to a be doctor so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School. One of the questions asked was to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered 'spine' are doctors today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passinthenight Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 thickpec 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InBangkok Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 A father with two sons (let's say in The Philippines) decided the time had come for his elder teenage son to experience sex with a woman for the first time. On an adjacent street there was a brothel. "Son, it's time you learned the facts of life. Take this 500 pesos, go visit the brothel, give it to the mamasan and then have a good time." When the son came back, his father asked how it was. "It was really great. I really want more." The only problem was the younger son now wanted the same experience. He begged and begged his father until he finally gave way. With his 500 pesos, the boy skipped along the street toward the brothel. His grandmother who lived nearby saw him and asked why he was so happy. "Well, my Dad just gave me 500 Pesos to have sex with a woman for the first time." "500 Pesos, eh? That's a lot of money." An hour later his father asked him how he got on. "Oh it was great," said his son. "Half way to the brothel I met my grandmother and she said I could save half the money if I gave her half and had sex with her instead." "W-H-A-T?" said his father. "You had sex with my mother?" "What's the big deal," said his son. "I don't complain when you have sex with my mother so why should you complain when I have sex with your mother?" thickpec 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passinthenight Posted January 20 Report Share Posted January 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passinthenight Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "250" In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball glove." The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?" Boy - "750" Man - "Fine." A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" Boy - "1,000" The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that,.. that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that shit again." thickpec 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passinthenight Posted Wednesday at 10:57 PM Report Share Posted Wednesday at 10:57 PM When does a detective carry an umbrella? When he's about to go undercover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passinthenight Posted Saturday at 01:54 AM Report Share Posted Saturday at 01:54 AM thickpec 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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