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Disappearing act, my story


bot4life

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I experienced something similar less than 2 years ago, back when I first joined BW. S was the first (or second, can't recall) guy I went out with since we had common interests. Everything went on fine until he went MIA in May. It scared me. A lot. There was no reply to my texts and worse, the ticks on WA didn't turn blue. Of course I panicked and let my imagination run wild. Considering that this was the first guy I got to know, I was helpless. Then about 2 months later, he texted and asked to meet me for lunch and I agreed readily. We met and he wasn't as chatty as before. It took him a while to tell me the reason for his sudden disappearance and I listened him out. On another occasion, he told me he's also met someone who was very interested in him. There wasn't any r/s status between us, so I told him that if he intended to pursue a r/s with that guy, he'd better tell me. But that never happened. Thankfully, I chatted with a few others here and was momentarily distracted. Slowly, we grew further apart. On and off, I texted to meet up with him to finalise things and put an end to everything. That never happened too (though he said he would. A bunch of lies). Things then just ended like that.

A year later, on my first date with my current bf, I saw S on the train and we were face to face but he outright ignored me. I did the same. 

TS, you must tell yourself to be ready to let go and move on, whatever the circumstance is. All the best! 

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8 minutes ago, JYAG-sim said:

I experienced something similar less than 2 years ago, back when I first joined BW. S was the first (or second, can't recall) guy I went out with since we had common interests. Everything went on fine until he went MIA in May. It scared me. A lot. There was no reply to my texts and worse, the ticks on WA didn't turn blue. Of course I panicked and let my imagination run wild. Considering that this was the first guy I got to know, I was helpless. Then about 2 months later, he texted and asked to meet me for lunch and I agreed readily. We met and he wasn't as chatty as before. It took him a while to tell me the reason for his sudden disappearance and I listened him out. On another occasion, he told me he's also met someone who was very interested in him. There wasn't any r/s status between us, so I told him that if he intended to pursue a r/s with that guy, he'd better tell me. But that never happened. Thankfully, I chatted with a few others here and was momentarily distracted. Slowly, we grew further apart. On and off, I texted to meet up with him to finalise things and put an end to everything. That never happened too (though he said he would. A bunch of lies). Things then just ended like that.

A year later, on my first date with my current bf, I saw S on the train and we were face to face but he outright ignored me. I did the same. 

TS, you must tell yourself to be ready to let go and move on, whatever the circumstance is. All the best! 

 

Well, i can relate to you. Even if he wants to end, I wish to hear why and could say goodbye to him. Things become frustrating when someone disappeared without a word left behind.

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14 minutes ago, bot4life said:

 

Well, i can relate to you. Even if he wants to end, I wish to hear why and could say goodbye to him. Things become frustrating when someone disappeared without a word left behind.

 

I agree with you. As time flew, I got increasingly frustrated and then numb. I told myself, "Why bother?". Open opportunities to know more people here. It helps.

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Don't fall in love with another guy and you won't get hurt.

 

And if you can't help but fall in love with some guy, try not to believe whatever sweet stuff that guy says.

 

Ultimately, I think we will all grow old alone. I was in love, was hurt, depressed but I managed to pick myself up after a couple of years. Right now, I only believe in myself and I've become more practical.

 

So friend, pick yourself up and move on.

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Wld u guys flip if he were to tell u all its a madeup story? its begining to sound fishy....seriously wishing to say goodbye to end it....phoney

reminds me of the tactic a slut used to seduce my ex.... Pretended to be dumped and got lots of sympathy, including getting my ex bf's.....in the end, started seducing the guys showing sympathy and played with them.... Fking PLCB....

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1 hour ago, bot4life said:

 

1. He is 29 and I am 23.

2. I met him through the app. Both his and mine profile are blank. And he deleted the app first before I did and he said he only uses the app to find someone possible for dates. When he is with someone, even during dating, he will remove it. Hence he shows that he does not want to date many at the same time

3. We have met each other 6 times during this one month. It is because we are mostly free on weekends only. We sometimes met on week day but rarely.

4. Both of us would text first whenever we had something to share or to ask. I would say, my "texting experience" was great, no complaint. No rules on who text first, no bother about waiting time and there is always a reply despite there may be some lag due to both being busy. Deep sharing about personal views on life and whats happening in our lives.

5. He is kind and caring. Very gentle. He is accommodating as well. He is quiet but thoughtful. He likes to pamper me (and please I dont ever think of making use of him). His thoughts are mature and he gives a very reliable vibe (because he is 29). When I am with him, I feel so much at ease. We can just be together without much words being exchanged. Looks wise, he is quite fit, nice chest and shoulder and a bit of tummy (which I like to poke). His face is cute and I cant get enough of his smile.

 

Here is my analysis based on your input.
He is someone who knows what he wants. Although he might have said that he is not into sex. Sex was in his mind the last time he met you before he vanished.  He might have some expectation when he last met you but since nothing happened, he might had been disappointed. 
Here are some of my guesses about why he disappeared.
1. He may have a bf / gf or married / someone he was seeing and he was found out so he had to disappeared.
2. He may have found you unsuitable as a bf as he might feel that you guys are not an intellectual match.
3. He might had felt that you had become sticky / possessive / demanding, etc. which he felt no suitable. (just a guess)

Just some guesses. 


My suggestions for you :
1. It takes 2 hands to clap, since the other person had made his decision not to contact you again, I can only tell you to suck it up and let it go. No point insisting to continue.
2. Learn from the lesson above as these are part and parcel of the road to relationship. 
3. The sooner you let go of the unhappy episode, the sooner you will be able to move on the meet your future partner.
4. You are still young, there are many things you can still learn and improve on so that the next meetup will be better and successful. 

Go out and meet more friends. Don't keep dwelling on the past. Start as friends and if it happens, it will, if it doesn't, don't fret. You will find someone else who will wow you over sooner or later.

Good luck.

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1 hour ago, GachiMuchi said:

Here is my analysis based on your input.
He is someone who knows what he wants. Although he might have said that he is not into sex. Sex was in his mind the last time he met you before he vanished.  He might have some expectation when he last met you but since nothing happened, he might had been disappointed. 
Here are some of my guesses about why he disappeared.
1. He may have a bf / gf or married / someone he was seeing and he was found out so he had to disappeared.
2. He may have found you unsuitable as a bf as he might feel that you guys are not an intellectual match.
3. He might had felt that you had become sticky / possessive / demanding, etc. which he felt no suitable. (just a guess)

Just some guesses. 


My suggestions for you :
1. It takes 2 hands to clap, since the other person had made his decision not to contact you again, I can only tell you to suck it up and let it go. No point insisting to continue.
2. Learn from the lesson above as these are part and parcel of the road to relationship. 
3. The sooner you let go of the unhappy episode, the sooner you will be able to move on the meet your future partner.
4. You are still young, there are many things you can still learn and improve on so that the next meetup will be better and successful. 

Go out and meet more friends. Don't keep dwelling on the past. Start as friends and if it happens, it will, if it doesn't, don't fret. You will find someone else who will wow you over sooner or later.

Good luck.

 

Thank you for your advice. I will wait for him for a few more weeks to see how things go

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Hmm in addition to what GM has said...i just want to add that after the last meeting he may feel attached to you and got scared decided to cut it off b4 he loves u too deep.

 

From an older guy point of view, sometimes getting too attached to younger guys is a pretty bad thing. (Most older guys learn it the hard way)

 

No matter what a younger guy says abt love u, forever etc when they change their minds older guys tends to lose out in many ways. Thus perhaps he has consider the age gap and after dating u for 6 times decided you are a risk more then he can take (since u are so SENSIBLE and DETERMINE).

 

Take care boy.

Edited by Ironrod
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Some times just count yourself lucky that he leaves you early in the relationship in order not to hurt you later on. 

 

Imagine the clues he has been giving you . 

 

A virile, energetic healthy, throbbing, pulsating hunk with a nice gentle personality . holding back sex but sticking to passionate kisses onlybnot even frottage or mutual jerk off or heavy petting. He is hiding something from you. 

 

Have u ever consider the possibility that he might have an infectious disease that he feels threatened to be honest to you about.

 

He is 29 years old. Definitely had more experienced than you.  He wants to protect you. He has a fatal malady so leaving you , he thought waa the best solution . #

 

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Guest Don't give up
7 hours ago, bot4life said:

I tried every possible way I could think of like LINE, Snapchat chat, using another number to call and text him, but all failed. He is smart no doubt. Unless he chooses to get back to me, I have finally given up reaching out cos nothing worked. I will continue to try using other numbers to text and call him, hoping that he would reply one day.

 

Try his regular hangout area - gym, parks, library, toilet? I believe he is still nearby, somewhere. All you need to do is to find and hunt him down again. If he is yours, he will re-appear, still single and alone. Don't give up, it may not be that bad as what you think  :pray:

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1 minute ago, Guest Don't give up said:

Try his regular hangout area - gym, parks, library, toilet? I believe he is still nearby, somewhere. All you need to do is to find and hunt him down again. If he is yours, he will re-appear, still single and alone. Don't give up, it may not be that bad as what you think  :pray:

 

4 hours ago, bot4life said:

However, I will do what I can to get him back or at least let him know that I care and I treasure what we had. I will buy sim cards to text and call him to let him know what I feel. I am prepared to do that for a period of time until I got the clear sign from him that he does not want to continue at all.

 

You know... the more you try to contact him, the more put off he will get, the more you drive him away.

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It is hard to go through someone that gone MIA and It does happen in the community.

If you want to know if he is alive or any mishap happens to him, give him a friendly call.

 

Otherwise, it is he found someone he wants to focus on the new guy and decided to have a clean break of all communication.

If he wants to date a few, he does not block you from what's app.

 

I would say if he love you and want to be with you, he would not did what he did.

You are worth someone better in life and you are still young.

You have to learn to embrace yourself and move on from this saga.

You are not alone and there's a few been through like you and found someone better. =)

 

Cheers!

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1 hour ago, Ironrod said:

Hmm in addition to what GM has said...i just want to add that after the last meeting he may feel attached to you and got scared decided to cut it off b4 he loves u too deep.

 

From an older guy point of view, sometimes getting too attached to younger guys is a pretty bad thing. (Most older guys learn it the hard way)

 

No matter what a younger guy says abt love u, forever etc when they change their minds older guys tends to lose out in many ways. Thus perhaps he has consider the age gap and after dating u for 6 times decided you are a risk more then he can take (since u are so SENSIBLE and DETERMINE).

 

Take care boy.

 

This is really a fresh perspective. However we discussed about it before, and I felt he and I got a long well. He is 29 but he can relate to most of the things I like or am passionate about. The hangouts have been nice and intimate.

 

But if he suddenly feels threatened hence the abrupt action, I can only wish one day he will change his mind and trust me that I love him for how he is like

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Hi There, I'm truly Sorry to hear about your plight. I've experienced something like that before. I know you've given up on speculating, until the truth starts to shed light, but perhaps I could share with you my experience. 


Well, the guy who disappeared on me in such a "heartless" way was attached. He was 29yo back then too. When I met him on the app, I didn't know he was attached. Subsequently, after he "disappeared", I learned from a friend that he was actually attached. He was in a 3-year relationship back then, but he was unhappy in that r/s. Hence, he started prowling on the apps, but made sure that he was extremely discreet so that he wouldn't get caught. Similarly, he did not upload any photo on his profile. Well, ultimately we found ea other on the app, and felt comfortable and happy spending time with each other. One fine day, his bf of 3 years chanced upon our "relationship". His bf gave him an ultimatum and made him choose between him and me. Of course, Tom made the obvious choice and chose to stick with his bf of three years, instead of choosing me, a young student back then whom he has only known for 5 weeks. Tom's bf went ahead and blocked me on all platforms, and deleted my number from his phone, and ensured that Tom could not contact me ever again. I couldn't reach Tom at all, and was equally heartbroken. It took me quite a long while to get over Tom, but subsequently, time healed my wound. 

 

Try to take it easy buddy. Time will heal. 

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1 hour ago, Guest said:

Some times just count yourself lucky that he leaves you early in the relationship in order not to hurt you later on. 

 

Imagine the clues he has been giving you . 

 

A virile, energetic healthy, throbbing, pulsating hunk with a nice gentle personality . holding back sex but sticking to passionate kisses onlybnot even frottage or mutual jerk off or heavy petting. He is hiding something from you. 

 

Have u ever consider the possibility that he might have an infectious disease that he feels threatened to be honest to you about.

 

He is 29 years old. Definitely had more experienced than you.  He wants to protect you. He has a fatal malady so leaving you , he thought waa the best solution . #

 

 

Well, what you described somehow fit into what happened. I wanted to help him jerk off but he said "it is weird" so at that time I thought, he was thinking that we were not officially together so letting him cum in front of me, which is an intimate act, is weird. So i let it go. I was perfectly fine with all the kisses, hugs. I could tell that he did not want to leave my room at all until I had to ask him to leave because I was afraid he would be late for the train. We stuck onto each other for hours.

 

The thought that he has some infectious disease never crossed my mind, and I trust him fully on that. He does not fun around nor does he look ill. He is a decent man

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58 minutes ago, Guest Don't give up said:

Try his regular hangout area - gym, parks, library, toilet? I believe he is still nearby, somewhere. All you need to do is to find and hunt him down again. If he is yours, he will re-appear, still single and alone. Don't give up, it may not be that bad as what you think  :pray:

 

I dont want to hunt him down to be honest because it is a bit too intruding. He did say he needs a lot of time and space on his own so I respect that. I can only try to reach him through texts and phone calls. If one day i turn up at his workplace or at his house, i dont think his reaction would be desirable because he is super discreet

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57 minutes ago, jo.sam said:

 

 

You know... the more you try to contact him, the more put off he will get, the more you drive him away.

 

Thanks for the advice. I thought of it. I have drawn the line on how much I would try to reach out to him because I know in the end it has to be him who wants to re-connect. No matter how much I try, if he does not want, I cannot do anything. I dont wanna look pathetic or to put him off as well. Do enough so that he knows I care, but not too much until he thinks I am so dramatic.

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29 minutes ago, Guest said:

It is hard to go through someone that gone MIA and It does happen in the community.

If you want to know if he is alive or any mishap happens to him, give him a friendly call.

 

Otherwise, it is he found someone he wants to focus on the new guy and decided to have a clean break of all communication.

If he wants to date a few, he does not block you from what's app.

 

I would say if he love you and want to be with you, he would not did what he did.

You are worth someone better in life and you are still young.

You have to learn to embrace yourself and move on from this saga.

You are not alone and there's a few been through like you and found someone better. =)

 

Cheers!

 

Thank you. I am encouraged by your words. I start to feel less troubled by this. I am taking it slow and easy. Waiting patiently

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21 minutes ago, xboyhunk said:

Anybody who put you through this doesn't deserve your love.

You deserve better so forget about him and move on.

 

Honestly, I think he is the guy I need and I am someone he can rely on. There must have been some misunderstandings and I am dying to settle by contacting him again. This act of him is very unsual. He is not like this at all. There must have been something very mysterious going on, and I wanna find out.

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13 minutes ago, evianwater said:

Hi There, I'm truly Sorry to hear about your plight. I've experienced something like that before. I know you've given up on speculating, until the truth starts to shed light, but perhaps I could share with you my experience. 


Well, the guy who disappeared on me in such a "heartless" way was attached. He was 29yo back then too. When I met him on the app, I didn't know he was attached. Subsequently, after he "disappeared", I learned from a friend that he was actually attached. He was in a 3-year relationship back then, but he was unhappy in that r/s. Hence, he started prowling on the apps, but made sure that he was extremely discreet so that he wouldn't get caught. Similarly, he did not upload any photo on his profile. Well, ultimately we found ea other on the app, and felt comfortable and happy spending time with each other. One fine day, his bf of 3 years chanced upon our "relationship". His bf gave him an ultimatum and made him choose between him and me. Of course, Tom made the obvious choice and chose to stick with his bf of three years, instead of choosing me, a young student back then whom he has only known for 5 weeks. Tom's bf went ahead and blocked me on all platforms, and deleted my number from his phone, and ensured that Tom could not contact me ever again. I couldn't reach Tom at all, and was equally heartbroken. It took me quite a long while to get over Tom, but subsequently, time healed my wound. 

 

Try to take it easy buddy. Time will heal. 

 

Details from your experience are somehow similar to my story. I would love to believe that my guy was not cheating on his bf while spending time with me like you case, but you never know right...

 

Then again, I do not want to speculate because it makes me go through everything that he has ever said and done for me to spot any suspicions. I cant do that anymore because I need to have my mind on better things at the moment.

 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and story with me. Appreciate it

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6 hours ago, jo.sam said:

 

2. Cheesy but: Buy a balloon, go to a quiet emo spot and release it into the sky.

 

You can go buy one that hasnt been filled with air? When blowing air into it, just think of it this way, the air is the feeling u had for him slowly filling your heart. After its filled, to me popping it is more suitable in this case cuz its so sudden. U are shocked, confused n don't no what to do that's wat the guy is doing to you. Someone that's there one second n gone the next.

 

PS. Wat I said is a bit of a joke mix with seriousness. People are giving u lots of advice already, so I assume you know wat to do n will be fine.:)

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2 minutes ago, bot4life said:

 

Honestly, I think he is the guy I need and I am someone he can rely on. There must have been some misunderstandings and I am dying to settle by contacting him again. This act of him is very unsual. He is not like this at all. There must have been something very mysterious going on, and I wanna find out.

 

You are the one misunderstanding, not him.

You may need him and want to rely on him but all these are what he doesn't want.

He kept it a mystery from you because he didn't want to share.

By probing him further, you will seem irritating to him.

He wants no part of you to be in his private life so accept it and move on.

 

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I have blocked another person off in texting and phone, reason being I discovered that he was insincere in one occasion and lied to me in another.

 

I didn't want to confront, and see no point in seeking clarification, I just want to end it. 

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It's admirable that you, @bot4life are not feeling angry but more a dismayed feeling with what is happening.  It is understandable for you to seek answers;  more so, when things seemed 'to be' fine before his silence/disappearance.  There could be thousand reasons and there could be none at all.  It could just be a misunderstanding.  It could just be the Chinese New Year.  Doing nothing could be the best thing but you need to find peace within you.  Do not let desperation eat you.  What is important is for you to pull yourself out from this baffling episode.  It is also good to put an intention for him to contact you soon but do not cross the desperation line waiting aimlessly.


 

6 hours ago, bot4life said:

 

.. I kept thinking about what I have done wrong, but I could not find any reasons. Could you all please share with me what could have possibly happened?

 

 

Your predicament here is something that we all can take and learn - that communication is ever so important.  Without good communication, there's a vacuum and there will be lots of futile What-Ifs.  Ok, here's the thing, I know that you have been "thinking about what (you) have done wrong" and that you "could not find any reasons".  With respect, I am sure you have heard the saying that it takes two hands to clap.

 

What I want you to do is to think harder and let your intuition tells you what could be the possible reason?  I am not implying that you are to be blamed here but to find yourself THE reason(s) (since he is MIA) will give you the head start to get some peace.  Go within you.  Go back and "Think" what could it be.  Let your 'higher self' speaks to you.  When you can find that answer, that reason that you will start to feel better.  But, please do not overthink as thinking in itself is a burden.  This exercise is about you to accept the situation, not about why and all the What-Ifs that he has gone MIA but what you can do for yourself.

 

 

 

Click Here To Visit My Blog @ "The Blessed Life"

*Let me live my life to be an instrument of 'Love', in how I speak and in how I see others*

- May there be Love and Peace beyond all understanding -

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9 minutes ago, Carpenter said:

 

You can go buy one that hasnt been filled with air? When blowing air into it, just think of it this way, the air is the feeling u had for him slowly filling your heart. After its filled, to me popping it is more suitable in this case cuz its so sudden. U are shocked, confused n don't no what to do that's wat the guy is doing to you. Someone that's there one second n gone the next.

 

PS. Wat I said is a bit of a joke mix with seriousness. People are giving u lots of advice already, so I assume you know wat to do n will be fine.:)

 

I totally got what you mean actually, and it makes sense. THanks :)

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Is there a need to block people out from watsapp / line & etc for a matter as simple as a discontinuation of a dating session? I feel its rather extreme, just have the courage to text the person that you feel that its not working out, no harm there if he is understanding. I only block someone out if he is completely tactless / rude even after the number of warning signs i give else mature / professional mutual agreement between the parties involve will suffice no need to block ~ 

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10 minutes ago, xboyhunk said:

 

You are the one misunderstanding, not him.

You may need him and want to rely on him but all these are what he doesn't want.

He kept it a mystery from you because he didn't want to share.

By probing him further, you will seem irritating to him.

He wants no part of you to be in his private life so accept it and move on.

 

 

Yea I get it. I am in the process of moving on. I dont want to irritate anybody actually. But dont you think what he did was unfair/unkind to me?

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Just now, bot4life said:

 

Yea I get it. I am in the process of moving on. I dont want to irritate anybody actually. But dont you think what he did was unfair/unkind to me?

 

On the contrary, he's being kind to you for not saying harsh words to you.

He's being fair to you as he already knows that he will never love you as much as you love him.

Wake up and move on.

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9 minutes ago, Guest YSL said:

I have blocked another person off in texting and phone, reason being I discovered that he was insincere in one occasion and lied to me in another.

 

I didn't want to confront, and see no point in seeking clarification, I just want to end it. 

 

I understand. But what if there is really a misunderstanding and you did not try to seek clarification? Maybe you thought that he lied but he did not, or you thought that he did something wrong but he did not?

 

All that you have shared and done with him mean nothing to you, not worth for you to sit down and talk to him properly like a man to a man? There is no need to find the truth and fix the situation if need be? Just boom, gone, no more contact after one night?

 

Sorry if I sounded offensive to you. The you here refers to a general person, not particularly you.

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Well, I wish I could relate to you only if you and that man did have sex before he blocked you... Nonetheless, there must be a reason why he did so... Until then, that question (on why he blocked you etc.) has not been answered so my advice to you is move on, harsh fact is we live in a world where everyone is into flings and ONS, everyone is willing to do whatever just to get what they want and in the end, it's just you alone cause they are all self-centered. I know how it feels like to be loved and be latched on someone... But eventually you have to learn how to be on your own. Yes, it feels great to have companion but... You have to observe and learn what is going on around you, never trust someone 100%, be it good or bad... Might just be a disguise. Took me 3 years to realise those repeated same old mistakes. I wish you well and find your own peace and love... Within yourself. :)

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4 minutes ago, 2AM said:

Well, I wish I could relate to you only if you and that man did have sex before he blocked you... Nonetheless, there must be a reason why he did so... Until then, that question (on why he blocked you etc.) has not been answered so my advice to you is move on, harsh fact is we live in a world where everyone is into flings and ONS, everyone is willing to do whatever just to get what they want and in the end, it's just you alone cause they are all self-centered. I know how it feels like to be loved and be latched on someone... But eventually you have to learn how to be on your own. Yes, it feels great to have companion but... You have to observe and learn what is going on around you, never trust someone 100%, be it good or bad... Might just be a disguise. Took me 3 years to realise those repeated same old mistakes. I wish you well and find your own peace and love... Within yourself. :)

 

 

Hey, thanks for the advice. I guess i am a pretty emotional person so I am still learning to face the cruel world this way. I will toughen up myself

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57 minutes ago, ZealousZeno said:

Is there a need to block people out from watsapp / line & etc for a matter as simple as a discontinuation of a dating session? I feel its rather extreme, just have the courage to text the person that you feel that its not working out, no harm there if he is understanding. I only block someone out if he is completely tactless / rude even after the number of warning signs i give else mature / professional mutual agreement between the parties involve will suffice no need to block ~ 

 

Oh my goodness, i totally agree with you on this

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please stop finding reason (excuses) for his blocking you in whatsapp. there exist a saying in apps - no reply is a reply. blocking is also a form of reply too. it says specifically that he no longer wants any contact with you.

 

that said, the things you should nvr do is to find ways and means to contact him. especially hunting him out in person. all you will get, is a stranger's stare. thats all.

 

next, what you should be doing, is to just move on to forget him. the process sure is tough.. but, its the solution to this. every1 has their way of getting over "that" guy.. nothing can get me down. that much i know for myself.. so i'll repeatedly tell myself the harsh truth.. u're not worth anything to him that why he can treat you this way.. i'll keep telling myself i'm rejected by him.. etc etc so much that sometimes, it really hurts.. but those grievance and sufferings that i inflict on myself, will make me give up sooner. typically, i take 1 month to get over a guy and i NEVER CONSIDER HIM FOR ANY RS EVER. things happened for a reason. if he's done it before, he's bound to do it again. treat yourself better.. move on. everyone you meet, is either a lesson or a blessings. he was a blessings but it become a lesson. the end..

 

if u're gonna cry over it. please do. and move on. think of it.. 10 years down the road, the you during then, will find the current you dumb for holding on to a not worthy person for so long. u would be saying.. had i know it would be like this, i wouldn't have waited for him.

 

in short, just give up on him and find a new guy.. in future, if he contacts you again, u would be better to ignore. 

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yes, i found nowaday people like to do this kind of disaapearing act.

 

i came to know someone from here whom we date, dinner and sex but out of sudden just block, disappear in the air...lucky, i dare to upfront with him to ask him why...he just smile and walk away without a words.

 

the only logic, is i suspect his ex come back to him that why he need a terminate our affairs....we last about several months ..almost half a year.

 

i m shock and numb to encounter such a ir responsible mature guy.

 

another one is a flirt or playboy by his professional - suspect early, also sudden disappearance acts, no phone, no calls and no explaination. he think he can do magic without knowing that i can read his fb. i m not a stalker but learn to be wiser.

 

yes, he just want a score with anyone then move on....but he choose to tell anyone he want a ltr but actually a disguise ons...i leave him alone but i m sure, many will be hurt by his motive.

he lame excuses, he need to fly nonstop, last minute assisgnment and long distance flight..blah blah.

 

 

ps ; sometime must thank them for making me more wiser, learning more it savvy stuff and also out smart them.

 

Edited by Firday
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if you observe those grindr, jackd and so on...

 

if their profile seek ltr , not into ons, not into fun......totally bullshit. 

after meetup for few time, the most 3rd time....start to hanky panky and after sex, the romance die off, he busy, he tired and drift off.

 

i m really amaze with their lies......the truth is, why bother to make up a lies that the ltr lamed excuses..

 

for those new comer advices....never see and believe what you read...with a pint of salt.

 

if someone really into ltr....no need to write in profile. Most of make an effort to ask you to go out, strike a conversation, shower kindness and caring.

 

likewise, ltr is not an easy task...relationship take up alot of commitment and stress...so be prepare to face the responsibility.

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, bot4life said:

 

Nope he did not pick up because it is a stranger's number i suppose

If you really love him i think u should try one more thing and get a few confirmed answers. Borrow some phone from your friend and call him. If i were u i will use several phones to call him several times in case he is busy. Call him during lunch time if hes working so that you can be sure his family members is not near him to listen to wat he is talking and affect wat he will be talking to you. Assuming someone pick up the call, You should fake a voice where he wont know is you or call someone to help u talk. Talk "May i speak to Mr XXX". Listen to the voice to see whos answering. If the person answering is not your friend it most probably means your friend is under control and phone confiscated. If your friend is answering the phone it means he is confirmed the one who blocks you. You should ask him your question now that u got the chance. If he suddenly blocks you again it only means he is too coward to even give u an answer and u should forget about him already. If nobody pick up calls with multiple different phone numbers, it leads to different answers again. (a) he is the person who refuse to pick up strangers number (b) he met with an accident, his parents or friends happen to be homophobic picks up his phone saw your message and blocks u, maybe hes still in hospital or the worst case scenario already dead. At this point of time u should give some grace period b4 u give up.

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Why don't you reveal roughly  who this guy you  met on the app..perhaps others may have met him too .

Now you are 23 you will think this way..

As you grow older you will have different perspective. 

Don't take it too hard :)

 

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9 hours ago, bot4life said:

 

 

Hey, thanks for the advice. I guess i am a pretty emotional person so I am still learning to face the cruel world this way. I will toughen up myself

 

So stop finding excuses to defend his blocking you. Time will heal, though a bit much longer for a emo person. Toughen up and not let an unkind action to affect your daily life and well being.

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10 hours ago, xboyhunk said:

 

No further answers are needed as his action of blocking you is loud and clear.

By trying to make any further contact with through any medium, he will tell his friends about you as a "psycho stalker".

 

... who claims to be drama-free, yet post and rants about it in a community forum within a day since losing contact and the numerous texts and calls every which way and from different phones attempting to connect back. Desperate thoughts or mentions of haunting anywhere near where he stays or workplace because he is the guy you 'need' and 'dying to settle'? <_<

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His boyfriend was away on business for that period time and he was playing the field.

His boyfriend was due to arrive back in Singapore that night.

The last date was to get to 1st base which he did not.

Come on... there will be all sorts of speculations and stories... move on. It's part of growing up.

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Guest Neh Neh

Perhaps his mom or family member found out. So he was forced to cut all contacts and stayed low profile. Give him a little more time, soon he will contact you again :)

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