Masturbation / Watching Porn while in a relationship [Merged]

[fab]

On 25/04/2016 at 8:48 PM, Guest Boi1988sugar said:

I came home a bit earlier than usual last night to surprise him and I caught him watching porn and masturbating to it. I felt really upset like I was cheated on or something. He has been super apologetic but I just feel really offended and just can't shake it off. Is he in the wrong? Or is it still acceptable to do it? We r both in our late 20s btw.

 

Princess do u rather he has sex with his hand n porn or with other people?

[lovehandle]

1 hour ago, fab said:

 

Princess do u rather he has sex with his hand n porn or with other people?

gd one fab! but...u har...

[Guest]

I think ts is worried that his bf may betray him sooner or later by watching porn and looking at other guys to masturbate ...he thinks he may makan outside someday perhaps..

I had this thought before when I was younger and attached.

 

[fab]

7 minutes ago, Guest said:

I think ts is worried that his bf may betray him sooner or later by watching porn and looking at other guys to masturbate ...he thinks he may makan outside someday perhaps..

I had this thought before when I was younger and attached.

 

 

If the princess's bf were to betray, porn or not, he will still betray.

 

There r many people dying of hunger in the 3rd world countries.

[raind]

Just have to deal with it like what most of the above had advised. Here's my story and I got super mad with him (now my ex)...

 

He was always the prim and proper one who never fail to reject my idea of watching porn together and always chide me for such behavior as porn is "dirty". So I have to watch porn secretly when I needed to.

 

One night, i was horny and asked him for sex. He rejected me and said he's tired, busy and has a lot of work to do. Asked me to go sleep and don't disturb him. I let him be and retired to bed. He went to the study room to work. I couldn't sleep and I thought I'd prepare chicken essence for him as he has to work late... And when I walked pass the study room, he was furiously jerking himself off to porn... and I later found he had downloaded tons of porn and saved them in hidden folders in his laptop...

 

how would you have felt if you were me?

 

anyway, we parted ways many years back.

[fab]

At least u ve a more legit problem.

 

Possibility 1, your ex could be really busy initially n not so horny n hence not in mood for it. He could be horny after a few hour while u ve supposedly gone to sleep.

 

Possibility 2, he's not that into u anymore.

 

Regardless,  i don see the need to fuse over bf jerking porns. I donno about your princesses but i certainly rather my bf jo to porn rather than he sticking others. 

 

 

[Guest bucket up]

you DO NOT own your bf's body and he did not cheat on you physically.

thats all.

[raind]

1 hour ago, fab said:

At least u ve a more legit problem.

 

Possibility 1, your ex could be really busy initially n not so horny n hence not in mood for it. He could be horny after a few hour while u ve supposedly gone to sleep.

 

Possibility 2, he's not that into u anymore.

 

Regardless,  i don see the need to fuse over bf jerking porns. I donno about your princesses but i certainly rather my bf jo to porn rather than he sticking others. 

 

 

 

Well it wasn't after "a few hours". It was within minutes... Anyway, that's the past. No longer bitter about it and was only reminded about it when I read this thread.

 

And I totally agree with what many adviced in this thread - communicate. Whether you frame is as own or doesn't own his body it's immaterial cos I do know of people who choose to be "owned" and expect the same in return. There are all sorts of people in this world.

 

be happy, but also be responsible to each other once you are in a relationship.

 

peace.

[kaze]

3 hours ago, raind said:

Just have to deal with it like what most of the above had advised. Here's my story and I got super mad with him (now my ex)...

 

He was always the prim and proper one who never fail to reject my idea of watching porn together and always chide me for such behavior as porn is "dirty". So I have to watch porn secretly when I needed to.

 

One night, i was horny and asked him for sex. He rejected me and said he's tired, busy and has a lot of work to do. Asked me to go sleep and don't disturb him. I let him be and retired to bed. He went to the study room to work. I couldn't sleep and I thought I'd prepare chicken essence for him as he has to work late... And when I walked pass the study room, he was furiously jerking himself off to porn... and I later found he had downloaded tons of porn and saved them in hidden folders in his laptop...

 

how would you have felt if you were me?

 

anyway, we parted ways many years back.

 

2 hours ago, fab said:

At least u ve a more legit problem.

 

Possibility 1, your ex could be really busy initially n not so horny n hence not in mood for it. He could be horny after a few hour while u ve supposedly gone to sleep.

 

Possibility 2, he's not that into u anymore.

 

Regardless,  i don see the need to fuse over bf jerking porns. I donno about your princesses but i certainly rather my bf jo to porn rather than he sticking others. 

 

 

 

i happen to think raind's previous issue is a real problem. the problem lies with his bf does not allow him to watch porn but he indulges in porn himself. this is.. rather selfish.. isn't it? do what you preach. if not, don't preach.

[fab]

43 minutes ago, kaze said:

 

 

i happen to think raind's previous issue is a real problem. the problem lies with his bf does not allow him to watch porn but he indulges in porn himself. this is.. rather selfish.. isn't it? do what you preach. if not, don't preach.

 

Sorry raind i miss out on the part about your ex preaching on porn. This case, hes a hypocrite.

 

I certainly agree that in a relationship, it is the responsibility of bf to provide carnal satisfaction for each other. Else y even get into relationship.

 

[upshot]

Playing with your own penis and masturbating is a nature thing most males will do and even doctor will tell you there is nothing wrong doing it at a young age or any age. Where does it say in any form of wise wisdom or writing in stone that once you are a couple or married... masturbation is illegal, a sin or an unfaithful act because you were out? Aiyo    heheheheh

 

Also just becasue you caught him doing it, you 'naturally' jump to the conclusion that he will go beyond this 'dishonest act' with is own hand and progress to doing it with other men. Jumping to conclusion and risking harming your relations with mistrust you think might not cause more harm to your relationship and might even prompt him to have fun with other males since whether he did it or not, you already have it in your mind HE WILL STRAY from your mental evaluation?

 

You willing to risk it all on some wild assumption? What happen to innocent till proven guilty? What happen to a lover's trust when you both enter into a relationship?

 

If you really love this guy, you best get your head straight hehe. ( No pun intended )

 

In any case, you are not alone. MANY GIRLS HAVE THIS kind of thinking too when caught their b/f or husband jerking off on their own. And worst, they don't want to give sex all the time but when the male want relief.. they STILL NOT HAPPY. Please do be better then them. Masturbation is a humanistic action and something you can not help if you are excited by someone or porn. Once you get to that pent up stage, have you ever try to cool it down instead of rubbing one out? You ever have that pain in your groin that until you rub one out, it is hard to get relief?

Edited April 28, 2016 by upshot

[raind]

On 27 April 2016 at 11:59 PM, fab said:

 

Sorry raind i miss out on the part about your ex preaching on porn. This case, hes a hypocrite.

 

I certainly agree that in a relationship, it is the responsibility of bf to provide carnal satisfaction for each other. Else y even get into relationship.

 

 

We'll, I supposed we get into relationships for reasons only known to ourselves. For me, and looking back, it was my first relationship and I should have walked out of the relationship earlier. But I didnt. And I think for many of us, we sometimes hold on to the relationship and end up losing our own self-respect and self-love, all in the guise and excuse that we love that person and that in the long run, our "sacrifice" would be worth it....

 

ok, let's get back to the topic. Ultimately, it's for both parties in the relationship to sort out things. The word "Communications" kinda sums it up. And I repeat - be happy, and be responsible to each other.

 

have a blast this long weekend!

[Guest Guest Frustrated]

He told me he will be home late and I was bored and decided to watch some porn. After a while I feel very horny and wank off.

Suddenly he appeared, emotionally I was hurt because because he scolded for cheating on him. I was like WTF since when wanking is considered cheating? should I continue with this stupid relationship as I feel he is really immature and yet want to control my life.

[KAXavion]

To guest, 

 

You are still young, have patience. He have his own reason to be mad about. Try and think in his position. Imagine if you were to walk in on your BF jerking off to porn. How would you feel? You will feel like why didn't your BF wait for you to be home and have together time? You'll be alittle piss cause he didn't wait for you. Likewise to him, he is only mad on impulse. After a while he will be okay when he gets over it. Try and be understanding to each other. Love can be strengthened by obstacle. And you guys are going to fight that obstacle together as one.

 

sry it's alittle naggy but I hope you understand it's just an act on impulse.

 

And again. I'm just a nobody. I can't judge it cause I have not met both of you yet. But u can tell he is mad cause he love you . Stay strong .. And Jia you !!

 

you don't have to listen to me. But that's just my opinion. It's all up to you to decide what you wanna do . Hope you made the right choice

Edited April 29, 2016 by KAXavion
Typo error

[EasleyLim]

We meta now boys.

[fab]

 lol.

 

Yes, give the princess a lesson.

[tterrynick]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

[tterrynick]

On 4/25/2016 at 8:48 PM, Guest Boi1988sugar said:

"He has been super apologetic but I just feel really offended and just can't shake it off."

Not sure if the pun was intended or not... "can't shake it off"..... hahahaha!!! You should have joined in and just shook it off together.

Like that also dilemma... how drama can you get...???

[Traveler3032]

Well, you need to do a careful cost-benefit analysis. If he is really hot (or a great cook) then you should swallow your pride, and stay with him for great fucks (free meals) in the future.  And only watch porn on your phone when he's not around. Otherwise, just leave this single minded control freak and watch your porn and jerk off as much as you want.

[Guest]

Is this created as a satirical mockery of the other thread? So mean, you!

[Guest]

I think your emotional wreck of a boyfriend should be dumped lol 

[Guest Stephen_K]

....

Edited December 21, 2017 by Stephen_K

[Guest]

You both still need time to get a life and space to grow up

[puppyfart]

[htw89]

Get a life and dump him. Sorry but a control freak for a partner is not ideal ever unless you like it which you clearly don't.  You've got the answer already, stop trying to look to others to justify your choice.

[htw89]

Prude 

[SomeGuyInSg]

2 minutes ago, puppyfart said:

 

I see this hot bi guy on tumblr alot <3

[snowball]

五十步笑百步，两个人都小题大做不成熟，不堪一击的感情留着也没用，要是真认真就共同努力维持，不然就别浪费彼此时间，早散早解脱。

[fab]

Your bf is here liao.

 

[Jalen88]

I think most has commented that the key solution is communication. 

 

I just want to add on another perspective which is regarding porn itself. Some porn has storylines, some porn don't. Some porn has interesting characters and scenarios. I think we know a little bit more about ourselves from the porn we watch and I like to ask other people what kind of porn do they like as well. Some would giggle and avoid the topic because it is ultimately deeply personal.

 

There are instances where we live our fantasy through porn which we know it cannot be realised in reality, no matter how embarrassing it might sound to others. And masturbating while watching porn is something in life that has already happened even before the start of any relationship. Which is why it won't be surprising even if it happened after a relationship ensues. There are still limitations that cannot be fulfilled and there will still be private moments that we choose not to share even with our partners.

[Guest Guest]

For me it is cheating

[vaio]

why is this a problem? he's doing it alone better than cheating on you eh? no? what is there to feel offended? 

[Steve5380]

On 4/25/2016 at 8:29 AM, Guest Mind said:

If it's true that everything is mind-made, and every action has its origin in the mind, then masturbating to porn is infidelity in the mind. Especially if he had vowed to stay true to you, and you alone.

Infidelity in the mind is the precursor to infidelity in the flesh when the opportunity presents.

It is understandable that you're upset.

...

 

Why do you masturbate your brains trying to find fault in others?