Race as a criteria in gay relationships + Do you care about the nationality of a foreigner for dating? (compiled)

[Guest Hippocampus]

I wondered if you would prefer someone due to their nationality? Do you look down on any nationalities? Questions are only aimed at those willing to date foriegners.

[Guest]

I am color blind so most important is mutual attraction.

[teatree]

For dating, I prefer locals.  Long distance relationships is too tiring, regardless of nationalities. 

[Clickclock]

for me its mostly the accent that triggers me to recall really stereotypical assumptions about the person.

[Guest]

On 1/23/2016 at 3:02 PM, Clickclock said:

for me its mostly the accent that triggers me to recall really stereotypical assumptions about the person.

 

So does the accent affect the way you perceive a person? Affect date ability?

[Guest]

Definety yes ! Just at those mean Asian /Chinese owners and bosses , the way they treated their staff with lowest pay possible  , longer working hours and minimum rest /off days and annual leave ! I worked for a British owned comany becoming a Chinese owned one , I left right away with their mean condition of working ! Races and genes do defer , I believe scientists would agree !! 

[Guest]

Just now, Guest said:

Definety yes ! Just at those mean Asian /Chinese owners and bosses , the way they treated their staff with lowest pay possible  , longer working hours and minimum rest /off days and annual leave ! I worked for a British owned comany becoming a Chinese owned one , I left right away with their mean condition of working ! Races and genes do defer , I believe scientists would agree !! 

....just look at  those mean Asian/Chinese owners ......

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Guest said:

Definety yes ! Just at those mean Asian /Chinese owners and bosses , the way they treated their staff with lowest pay possible  , longer working hours and minimum rest /off days and annual leave ! I worked for a British owned comany becoming a Chinese owned one , I left right away with their mean condition of working ! Races and genes do defer , I believe scientists would agree !! 

 

I'm the opposite. I like PRC but hate British. I find Britsh Asians to be nicer and friendly (and less homophobic) than British Whites.

 

I don't care about accents. A britsh posh accent is nice only if you're respected/got the whole image... I would still prefer Asian  American without brit accent.

[Guest 72%dark]

Tbh I’m more wary of Singaporeans than of foreigners. So many of us are high-strung, brusque, overly competitive… 

(And I’m speaking as someone who was born and raised here k.) 

[tic-toc]

I don't have preference at all. 

[Nipoet]

I think if you click, it doesn't matter where he comes from.

 

But once you start to consider the future, then nationality might have an impact on your choices. Will you move there? Will he stay here with you?

 

My (one and only) ex was a Malaysian. And not JB Malaysia, is Sarawak Malaysia. So for me, no issue.

[Clickclock]

11 hours ago, Guest said:

 

So does the accent affect the way you perceive a person? Affect date ability?

 

Yes it does, frankly speaking it is a con as I would prefer someone I could relate to in terms of similar background. 

[Guest Cho]

On 1/25/2016 at 0:54 AM, Clickclock said:

 

Yes it does, frankly speaking it is a con as I would prefer someone I could relate to in terms of similar background. 

 

I guess I dislike negative stereotypes associated with certain nationalities (SG PRC vs Chinese American).

[Guest Singaporean]

Been working with malaysian Chinese. Maybe I am just unlucky but they have terrible attitude and constantly critisize singaporeans (ugly, proud, etc). If have so many comments then go back to your bloody country dont come here to work.

 

[Guest]

6 hours ago, Guest Cho said:

 

I guess I dislike negative stereotypes associated with certain nationalities (SG PRC vs Chinese American).

 

Negative stereotypes, or just plain truths? The entire world cannot possibly be wrong, right?

 

16 minutes ago, Guest Singaporean said:

Been working with malaysian Chinese. Maybe I am just unlucky but they have terrible attitude and constantly critisize singaporeans (ugly, proud, etc). If have so many comments then go back to your bloody country dont come here to work.

 

 

Next time they do that, tell them we have gotten far enough to be entitled to become ugly and proud Singaporeans. If we don't, we are just showing some face to lesser mortals like them. So until their balls got big enough to accomplish the same kinds of standards like ours, tell them to know their own places here and crawl back into their wormhole and brood inside there.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Guest Singaporean said:

Been working with malaysian Chinese. Maybe I am just unlucky but they have terrible attitude and constantly critisize singaporeans (ugly, proud, etc). If have so many comments then go back to your bloody country dont come here to work.

 

malaysians in singapore are disgusting people, and very cunning

[lonelyglobe]

19 hours ago, hannibalism said:

nope, not at all. though i'd think the biggest obstacle would be the cultural differences. then again, it's a problem even between two people from the same country.

 

i must admit whenever i'm thinking about dating a foreigner: would his dick be too big for me?

then find a small one, I m sure not all foreigners are big.......

17 hours ago, Guest said:

malaysians in singapore are disgusting people, and very cunning

environment does change a person, perhaps they have been influenced?

 

[Sir.Stokie]

..

Edited May 11, 2017 by Sir.Stokie

[Guest]

2 hours ago, lonelyglobe said:

.......

environment does change a person, perhaps they have been influenced?

 

u mean singaporeans are the ones who are bad and influence the Malaysians here? It should be the other way round. These Malaysian gold diggers are here for digging gold and they will do anything possible to achieve their motives.

[Guest]

The 4 guarantors must have learnt a painful lesson, never trust anyone especially overseas ones.

[Guest]

People might find this strange but I find it difficult to differentiate between Singaporeans and Malaysians. Maybe its because I dont speak much Chinese and the differentiation is more pronounced/detectable when one speaks Mandarin?

 

Anyway, this is a view from 'the other side', a non-Singaporean.  I have not had any issues with the Singaporeans I have met - simply love some of them and with these few, have become close friends. Have not met many Malaysians living in Singapore but having said that, refer to the above - I would not have known if they were Malaysians. So, I am hoping the bad experiences related by other posters re 'foreigners' are rare but then I am not so naive as to believe that there are indeed those kind of people out there, irrespective of their nationality.

[Guest]

Since some of you guys tok about Malaysians, I went to a massage place in Singapore and all masseurs are males and I think most of these places are run by Malaysians. So as usual they chatted amongst themselves in Hakka dialect while massaging me and other customers, I heard one of the masseur always say nyom nyom quite a lot. As I am not Hakka, can any fellow Hakka memberchere tell me what it actually means, hope they weren't gossiing me...haha.

 

[fab]

all i wanna say is y the 4 sg classmates so naive.

 

there r certain things one shouldnt do for even lovers let alone friends.

[Guest HarpCod]

I guess it does exist. I read this post somewhere about someone liking African Americans but disliking African Africans, but I personally can't tell the difference between the lot of them!

 

African Africans might actually have a better stereotype too? Lol.

[Guest]

On 25 January 2016 at 6:51 PM, Guest said:

 

I'm the opposite. I like PRC but hate British. I find Britsh Asians to be nicer and friendly (and less homophobic) than British Whites.

 

I don't care about accents. A britsh posh accent is nice only if you're respected/got the whole image... I would still prefer Asian  American without brit accent.

 

 

Yes give me Asian boss anytime over the whites.  I do not like the aggressive nature of the whites.

 

[darkflame]

18 hours ago, Guest said:

People might find this strange but I find it difficult to differentiate between Singaporeans and Malaysians. Maybe its because I dont speak much Chinese and the differentiation is more pronounced/detectable when one speaks Mandarin?

 

Anyway, this is a view from 'the other side', a non-Singaporean.  I have not had any issues with the Singaporeans I have met - simply love some of them and with these few, have become close friends. Have not met many Malaysians living in Singapore but having said that, refer to the above - I would not have known if they were Malaysians. So, I am hoping the bad experiences related by other posters re 'foreigners' are rare but then I am not so naive as to believe that there are indeed those kind of people out there, irrespective of their nationality.

 

For some funny reason, I can differentiate Malaysians & Singaporeans to a certain extent.

I can't explain it well but some guys really stand out.

 

On the other hand, when I'm in JB, the salesgirl would sometimes tell me this or that product is popular in Singapore even without opening my mouth.

[Guest]

If you are talking about Malaysian Chinese, yes, they tend to be fairer (esp the legs), cos they don't do NS. They also tend to have longer hairdo and prefer to speak more dialects like Cantonese.

Singapore Malay tend to be leaner and mostly speak English compared to Malaysian Malay.

[Guest]

As I get older, I no longer favour Caucasians compare to when I was younger, wonder is it because I live in a Western country and seen their behaviour everyday which I feel most of them have aggressive vibes in them.

[Den Yuan]

No.

[Guest]

On 1/25/2016 at 0:54 AM, Clickclock said:

 

Yes it does, frankly speaking it is a con as I would prefer someone I could relate to in terms of similar background. 

Vain person you are

[Guest]

I won't date a foreigner unless he is financially independent and can stay in Singapore at least 9 to 10 months in a year.

[Clickclock]

16 minutes ago, Guest said:

Vain person you are

so sorry you feel that way

[Guest Breathing]

There are good and bad side of every person, regardless of nationality.  The answer to the TS is, to open our eyes wide and be more vigilant dealing with people of all races, religion, nationality, sizes, status or other form of affiliation.

[Guest]

so what are you going to do when he is deported out of the country? or are you just into the dating aspect

[Guest]

That article is a bit dubious. Not in it's content but in the date. The student studied in NUS as early as 1993. So when did she went to do her PhD? 20 years after she graduated? I googled out a senior tutor known as Belinda Yap who was in Singapore in 1997. I wonder if this is an old story.

[wintersnow]

On 1/28/2016 at 9:36 AM, darkflame said:

 

For some funny reason, I can differentiate Malaysians & Singaporeans to a certain extent.

I can't explain it well but some guys really stand out.

 

On the other hand, when I'm in JB, the salesgirl would sometimes tell me this or that product is popular in Singapore even without opening my mouth.

its not difficult to tell from the way you dress, you style your hair. i can also do that too without you having to speak as well

 

not only in malaysia, singaporean are easily recognised as well. i can tell them even when im in asian countries like tw and hk cos the "seh"

 

i had only dated locals and of course unless they are PR else i feel somehow or rather it will end cos of proximity and location issue

[Clickclock]

to put it frank its just racism even though its disguised as 'preference'.

we gay people tend to assume certain things about a race that we dont like. Though its actually prevalent in both the homosexual and heterosexual communities. The only reason why it seems as though gay people are more discriminatory based on race is that men-men are visual and sexually charged beings and we would go straight to the point to have sex and such background makes racial preference or filtering a needed thing to adopt if we want to get what we want fast.

[Guest]

Food for thought: I'm a Chinese living in Africa. The gays don't want to date me. They are racist. 

 

Im a Chinese in Malaysia. The Malays don't want to date me. They are hence racist. 

 

I'm a Malay in India. The Indians prefer other Indians. They are racist. 

 

Think with your mind, not with your blind emotional reactions. 

[htw89]

 

[Jalen88]

 Would you be open to date a guy of a different race? 

Yes

 

To what extent would race be a factor affecting your choice of partner And why would it be so? Lifestyle, culture, racial stereotypes?

Race probably isn't as important as ability to communicate. You could be of a different race but if you speak the same lingo then that should be fine.

 

The thing about this topic is that you would need to pinpoint something that is characteristic of a certain race and quite frankly not everyone of a same race behave or think in the exact same way. But that's analysing love logically and love is not logical.

 

My theory would be that attraction between 2 people follow a 80% similarity and 20% dissimilarity rule. You would feel more inclined to be with someone you can identify with (and for some people that would mean people of the same race, for others it could be people of the same political or religious affiliations, etc) and just different enough to provide that extra spark (opposites attract as they say), The differences also help to complement each other.

Edited May 3, 2016 by Jalen88

[wild]

Well, I won't say much but being Chinese myself, I've never dated a Chinese guy before

[Cube3]

- Would you be open to date a guy of a different race? Yes.

- To what extent would race be a factor affecting your choice of partner. i.e. if the partner is from a minority group i.e. White, Indian? Race is not a factor.

- And why would it be so? Lifestyle, culture, racial stereotypes? Thanks. Factors in only if e.g. irreconcilable differences. Otherwise: why not?

[Topdownunder]

Happy to date anyone of any race. Race is not a big deal. Colour of the skin never comes into the decision making process. I have dated guys of different races. The things that matters are values, outlook of life, motivation and drive and personality. 

[Guest]

I am color blind so...

[kingbitch]

10 hours ago, Clickclock said:

to put it frank its just racism even though its disguised as 'preference'.

we gay people tend to assume certain things about a race that we dont like. Though its actually prevalent in both the homosexual and heterosexual communities. The only reason why it seems as though gay people are more discriminatory based on race is that men-men are visual and sexually charged beings and we would go straight to the point to have sex and such background makes racial preference or filtering a needed thing to adopt if we want to get what we want fast.

 

So you made me think about the difference between Preference and Discrimination. Well I only spent 5 minutes googling so I miserably failed to reach any conclusion. But here are some preliminary findings.

 

Preference is an ATTITUDE.

Discrimination is ACTION.

 

You CAN discriminate based on preferences. I have a personal preference for Chinese over Whites. If i currently have to choose between blind dating a White vs a Chinese, I would date the Chinese.

 

I think another way of approaching the versus issue is Preference vs Prejudice.

 

Preference is an attitude that is more PC

Prejudice is an attitude that is not PC at all

 

The internet is awash with different definitions of preference vs prejudice. Some people commented preference is based on actual experience (eg. I have seen many Whites to conclude that it is very unlikely that I would be attracted to a potential White date). Others commented preference is based on "fair" judgement (eg. I like small eyes and smooth skin which is much likelier to manifest in a Chinese compared to a White). There are plenty of other definitions.

 

Ummm going back to topic,

Would you be open to date a guy of a different race? - YES.

To what extent would race be a factor affecting your choice of partner. i.e. if the partner is from a minority group i.e. White, Indian? And why would it be so? - TO A MODERATE FACTOR. I WOULD HAVE VERY LOW EXPECTATIONS FROM THE DATING/COURTSHIP. HOWEVER IF SPARKS FLY / CHEMISTRY IS UNDENIABLE, I WOULD STILL PURSUE HIM.

Lifestyle, culture, racial stereotypes? I'M OPEN TO TRY TO ADAPT IF I LIKE HIM ENOUGH.

 

Edited May 4, 2016 by kingbitch

[Guest Smooth]

13 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

Hi I am a sociology student. I am doing a field study on the impact of racial stereotypes on heterosexual and homosexual relationships in Singapore. I am gathering informal opinions from this platform.

 

 Would you be open to date a guy of a different race? To what extent would race be a factor affecting your choice of partner. i.e. if the partner is from a minority group i.e. White, Indian? And why would it be so? Lifestyle, culture, racial stereotypes? Thanks.

 

I would be open to date a guy of a different race as long as they are lean and smooth skinned.  Most asians would have fall into this category.  Not sure will I be considered as racist to the races who are naturally hairy?

[lovehandle]

 I have good friends who are Indians
But when it comes to partners/marital issues, I preferred someone Chinese to click with/communicate with my family members


Is that an prejudice or preference?

The line can be very thin...
but so long I put it across politely and considerate , there is NOTHING wrong with the background thinking or action

Just like I choose a bag of Versace and Not LV, m I discriminating against Brand B ? It is my money! my love

I m not ANSWERABLE to who/or the society for my own love for products and humans

All are attitudes..........b it in what forms

 

[fab]

47 minutes ago, lovehandle said:

 I have good friends who are Indians
But when it comes to partners/marital issues, I preferred someone Chinese to click with/communicate with my family members


Is that an prejudice or preference?

The line can be very thin...
but so long I put it across politely and considerate , there is NOTHING wrong with the background thinking or action

Just like I choose a bag of Versace and Not LV, m I discriminating against Brand B ? It is my money! my love

I m not ANSWERABLE to who/or the society for my own love for products and humans

All are attitudes..........b it in what forms

 

 

[Guest]

How am I supposed to know whether its a preference not prejudice nor discrimination? Somone can say anything right?

[twdpenang]

love is blind.