Race as a criteria in gay relationships + Do you care about the nationality of a foreigner for dating? (compiled)

[Guest guests]

I'm color blind too.

 

I'm Chinese. My current bf is Chinese. Though in the  past I attached to 2 Chinese, 1 Indian and also a Caucasian.

 

I hv dated Malay, Portuguese decedent, Sri Lankan.

 

I have slept with Thai, Pinoy, Indonesian, etc.

 

To me all men are same.  it really depends on the chemistry and luck

[fab]

I m color blind, but i m smell sensitive. Is this discrimination?

[Guest]

I am a malay and my bf is a chinese. We been together past few years and we dont have any problem at all. In fact my bf did mention to me that he never expect his life partner is a Malay and so do i. Well luck brought us together and we are happy together lovingly. We believed that we are perfect match.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, fab said:

I m color blind, but i m smell sensitive. Is this discrimination?

 

Yes, according to the logic of many ppl here. If you are nt attracted to the smell of Malay or Indian, you are racist. 

[Kuchii]

You may be interested in a person because he is this or he is that, but you love someone when he just is.

 

Due to severe misappropriate use of the word "racist", some people even believe themselves to be racist even though they actually are not.

 

Disciminating by skin color or stereotypes need not necessarily be a bad thing. For example :

 

1) You don't begin a conversation in cantonese when meeting a middle easterner for the 1st time.

2) You don't offer bubblies or booze to someone donning a tudung.

3) You don't offer beef jerky to the chinese aunite or uncle.

 

Stereotypes are something we use as a precursor when meeting people we don't know for the first time. The basis of demographic studies in the field of advertising and marketing is on this very principle. Ignore or ostracize it at your own risk

 

Our personal preferences are manifestations of our needs and wants augmented by previous experiences in a tangle of positive and negative reinforcements.

 

You Love What You Love, This is something that is many years in the making by unique experiences with people you only chance upon. Its not something you can replicate easily in another person. Thats why even identical twins will be different even if genetically identical.

 

At the end of the day, please find the true intent of what you call racisim.

Do we do it to avoid awkward situations or do you do it to spite or put someone down?

I prefer to believe for most of us, the case is the first.

 

So do spare some thought for others before calling them a racist.

Edited May 4, 2016 by Kuchii

[Guest]

nope. not open to dating other races. 

[Guest]

19 hours ago, htw89 said:

 

 

Knew someone would post this. 

[Guest Teatree]

4 hours ago, Guest said:

 

Yes, according to the logic of many ppl here. If you are nt attracted to the smell of Malay or Indian, you are racist. 

 

Disagreed.  This is individual hygiene, Chinese can smell as bad.  But, if some people have the habit or custom of applying coconut oil on their skin, don't expect everyone to be attracted to it.  Same with food.  Does not like the smell of curry does not means the person is racist.

[fab]

49 minutes ago, Guest Teatree said:

 

Disagreed.  This is individual hygiene, Chinese can smell as bad.  But, if some people have the habit or custom of applying coconut oil on their skin, don't expect everyone to be attracted to it.  Same with food.  Does not like the smell of curry does not means the person is racist.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_odor

 

East Asians (Chinese, Koreans, andJapanese) have fewer apocrine sweat glands compared to people of other descent, and the lack of these glands make East Asians less prone to body odor.[16][17]

 

 

[Guest]

I am a chinese and I would say race is not an issue, but:

 

I want my partner that I am going to face for the rest of my life to be able to converse in mandarin.

I want to be able to prepare food or go to eateries without restriction.

I want his immediate family, and hence his roots, to a certain extent, to be in singapore.

I want my house in the future to be free from incense smell.

 

Preference or racism? You say it. To me, race doesn't matter as long as he aligns with my philosophy for my own future.

[lovehandle]

3 minutes ago, Guest said:

I am a chinese and I would say race is not an issue, but:

 

I want my partner that I am going to face for the rest of my life to be able to converse in mandarin.

I want to be able to prepare food or go to eateries without restriction.

I want his immediate family, and hence his roots, to a certain extent, to be in singapore.

I want my house in the future to be free from incense smell.

 

Preference or racism? You say it. To me, race doesn't matter as long as he aligns with my philosophy for my own future.

It is as good as restricting all those that can only eat at halal eateries


I hope too, I  hope that we can have co. events that are of good food and a large variety too ie non halal (no restrictive to any considerations)

having my consideration is as good as "discriminating" those who can only take halal

Among us Chinese, we prefer certain race in our departments and in fact, other departments too

but...........

[Guest]

1 minute ago, lovehandle said:

It is as good as restricting all those that can only eat at halal eateries

I refer to vegetarians and gym rats who cant accept hawker centers too.

[lovehandle]

18 hours ago, fab said:

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_odor

 

East Asians (Chinese, Koreans, andJapanese) have fewer apocrine sweat glands compared to people of other descent, and the lack of these glands make East Asians less prone to body odor.[16][17]

 

 

Fab

 

Glad to hear that!


Teatree, my underarm is coconut scent, it smells good!!!!!!!!!!!

19 hours ago, Guest Teatree said:

 

Disagreed.  This is individual hygiene, Chinese can smell as bad.  But, if some people have the habit or custom of applying coconut oil on their skin, don't expect everyone to be attracted to it.  Same with food.  Does not like the smell of curry does not means the person is racist.

 

[lovehandle]

4 minutes ago, Guest said:

I refer to vegetarians and gym rats who cant accept hawker centers too.

Oh then that is a preference towards certain lifestyle

Gym rats cannot eat at hawker???? really? while they must have their protein shakes
hawker has healthy and protein-based food like fish soup with no use of soya sauce and no rice


Vegetarians if it s needed due to religious reasons, then we shdnt discriminate
 

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, lovehandle said:

Oh then that is a preference towards certain lifestyle

Gym rats cannot eat at hawker???? really? while they must have their protein shakes
hawker has healthy and protein-based food like fish soup with no use of soya sauce and no rice


Vegetarians if it s needed due to religious reasons, then we shdnt discriminate
 

I've came across people who hgiam this hgiam that in hawkers or foodcourt and then say 'nevermind later i go home then eat'

for vegetarians i wouldnt mind if its friends who we meet a few times a month... but not for a partner that is everyday.

 

feels like digressing from topic a little. in all, i do have an issue with people who keep saying 'people use preference as a disguise for their racism'. to me, racism is when a person makes derogatory remarks or deliberately put someone else down for racial reasons. if you simply dont prefer some particular race whom you need to spend the rest of 60-80 years for, theres absolutely no racism in there.

 

race can be a criteria, but this criteria is not racism.

[lovehandle]

u r not digressing, I agreed with your last two para

 

I can accept vegetarians cos of religious reasons but not those cos they choose not to kill animals
it made us inhumane when we are equally compassionate , kekekekekekeke

[Guest]

4 hours ago, lovehandle said:

Fab

 

Glad to hear that!


Teatree, my underarm is coconut scent, it smells good!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Coconut scent is ok.  But when it mixed with stale sweat, I think I can vomit out the food I ate last night.

[Guest]

I would prefer to date and have sex with my own race but if I fall in love with someone, I will not let race stop me from being together with that person. While i might prefer my own race for sex, if a person is hot, my dick demands that I cast aside my preferences I think this shows that I have preferences, because I do consider other races. But I also know that many who say 'preference' really do not 'prefer'. What is there to prefer when by 'preference' you do not even want to consider other races.

[doncoin]

My partner is caucasian. I am asian. We click on various levels intellectually and emotionally. Very different, yet we have enough similarities to know we love each other and want to grow old together. Relationships take a lot of work, and hence race issues should not be one of them. There are more important things to focus on. 

 

 

[Guest]

The most important criteria for me is how ones can accept the differences unconditionally.

[Guest human being]

I think we should look at it beyond the skin colour and consider everyone as human beings regardless.

As to whether it is racist or not, it need not be making a derogatory remark but having that preference may be an indication of racism in a way.

 

Although I feel it is best not to mention it at all instead of saying like "oh i prefer chinese so that we can communicate better with my family". To me, that is an excuse. What if your partner is not of a chinese descent but can speak mandarin fluently? Will that still be a factor or will other excuse come in? (Oh, I want a chinese chinese cos he understands the culture better and yadah yadah.)

 

I feel we should run away from all this negative outlook and categorising ourselves but look at it as a whole, as a human being. We are humans and thats that.

[TheKaze]

30 minutes ago, Guest human being said:

I think we should look at it beyond the skin colour and consider everyone as human beings regardless.

As to whether it is racist or not, it need not be making a derogatory remark but having that preference may be an indication of racism in a way.

 

Although I feel it is best not to mention it at all instead of saying like "oh i prefer chinese so that we can communicate better with my family". To me, that is an excuse. What if your partner is not of a chinese descent but can speak mandarin fluently? Will that still be a factor or will other excuse come in? (Oh, I want a chinese chinese cos he understands the culture better and yadah yadah.)

 

I feel we should run away from all this negative outlook and categorising ourselves but look at it as a whole, as a human being. We are humans and thats that.

Personally, I beg to differ that those are excuses.

Language and culture are things I personally find it hard to look past. And as a matter of fact, these have nothing got to do with their race / skin colour per se. 

 

The ability to converse fluently in English is definitely a link between different races. But Mother tongue is the language that make myself feel at ease and comfortable with the person I'm interacting with. Of course, if the person I love happen to be someone of a different race, I will be more than willing to immerse myself into their culture and language as much as he is willing to for mine.

 

Having said that, it goes without saying that it is also very tough to actually be in a RS with someone of the same race (Chinese in this case) but is brought up in a westernised culture or totally do not speak their own language. 

[dreamerboy]

55 minutes ago, Guest human being said:

I think we should look at it beyond the skin colour and consider everyone as human beings regardless.

As to whether it is racist or not, it need not be making a derogatory remark but having that preference may be an indication of racism in a way.

 

Although I feel it is best not to mention it at all instead of saying like "oh i prefer chinese so that we can communicate better with my family". To me, that is an excuse. What if your partner is not of a chinese descent but can speak mandarin fluently? Will that still be a factor or will other excuse come in? (Oh, I want a chinese chinese cos he understands the culture better and yadah yadah.)

 

I feel we should run away from all this negative outlook and categorising ourselves but look at it as a whole, as a human being. We are humans and thats that.

 

I totally agree with you. Malays are damn racist. I tried hooking up with hot and handsome Malay guys and they reject me. I know I'm not handsome and I eat pork but hey, those are EXCUSES! They are simply racist!! I can even speak some Malay phrases like tak boleh tahan, etc, so language shouldn't be an issue. Even if I know Malay damn well they will still find some excuse and so it boils down to the fact that I'm Chinese and they're just racist. We are all humans and so I think all races and ages (don't be an ageist!!!) should give me a chance to date them - because I'm human!!

 

*Sarcasm, for those who can't detect. Feel free to replace "Malays" with any other race - it works the same. That is so totally not me...tyvm

[dreamerboy]

I promise myself this is the last time I deign to reply ridiculous remarks =X

[Guest Complicated]

Most people need to have a connection or feel towards people who want to be close to them, thats why we have cliques be it in school, family or work. We all have preferences in which race is one of the criteria too. They are people who will hate or whom we hate based on many factors but others will like them for those factors.

 

For me I'm not into caucasian although they look good in porn or pictures. Just can't feel a connection to them and find most of their accent annoying.

[fab]

22 minutes ago, Guest Complicated said:

Most people need to have a connection or feel towards people who want to be close to them, thats why we have cliques be it in school, family or work. We all have preferences in which race is one of the criteria too. They are people who will hate or whom we hate based on many factors but others will like them for those factors.

 

For me I'm not into caucasian although they look good in porn or pictures. Just can't feel a connection to them and find most of their accent annoying.

 

[Meneedyew]

I am Malay but I prefer to date Chinese hehe

[Guest]

Abang suka konek tak sunat kah? Lol

[suckmegood]

I had great fun with a couple of cute Malays before too! am Chinese. 

 

damn they are so passionate on bed. 

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Guest human being said:

I think we should look at it beyond the skin colour and consider everyone as human beings regardless.

As to whether it is racist or not, it need not be making a derogatory remark but having that preference may be an indication of racism in a way.

 

Although I feel it is best not to mention it at all instead of saying like "oh i prefer chinese so that we can communicate better with my family". To me, that is an excuse. What if your partner is not of a chinese descent but can speak mandarin fluently? Will that still be a factor or will other excuse come in? (Oh, I want a chinese chinese cos he understands the culture better and yadah yadah.)

 

I feel we should run away from all this negative outlook and categorising ourselves but look at it as a whole, as a human being. We are humans and thats that.

 

Skin color is not an issue for me, but hairy skin is.  Be he Chinese, Malay or Indian. 

[BranLim]

Skin color and the culture associated is an issue for me. But in general, I already hate the vast majority of the world's population.

[Guest]

Socioeconomic status more impt than race to me. Not trying to be uppity but yeah, it's easier to do stuff when you're in similar playing fields 

[yoyo74]

There are many factors affecting my choice to date.

I would prefer to date my own race as i speak Mandarin most often. I only speak to others in english when he is of other race or those chinese that cannot speak mandarin.

I would prefer to date those that like me.

I would prefer to date vegetarians cause i am a vegetarian too and would be much convenient.

I would prefer to lighter skin race as lighter skin race seem to me to have more handsome guys.

There are lots of preference than the above example but in the end i may date someone out of preference due to the fact that hes satisfy with majority of my preference.

[yoyo74]

On 5/5/2016 at 6:23 PM, lovehandle said:

u r not digressing, I agreed with your last two para

 

I can accept vegetarians cos of religious reasons but not those cos they choose not to kill animals
it made us inhumane when we are equally compassionate , kekekekekekeke

No u r not compassionate hahaha. I was also one of the vegetarians not because of religion. I choose vegetarian due to 3 big reason, for health, to slim down and not to let animals suffer. I would encourage others to eat vegetarians also but i will not force them to eat. I also dont like to be troublesome so if there is no other vegetarians stall near i would just go to hawker center or foodcourt to eat niang dou fu and choose vegetables to eat. There are also other options for me to eat, for example i could just go to a soya bean stall like jolly bean and soya milk plus other stuff as there is no meat on its other stuff. Other option like eating just fruit for the meal is also possible.

[lovehandle]

4 hours ago, yoyo74 said:

No u r not compassionate hahaha. I was also one of the vegetarians not because of religion. I choose vegetarian due to 3 big reason, for health, to slim down and not to let animals suffer. I would encourage others to eat vegetarians also but i will not force them to eat. I also dont like to be troublesome so if there is no other vegetarians stall near i would just go to hawker center or foodcourt to eat niang dou fu and choose vegetables to eat. There are also other options for me to eat, for example i could just go to a soya bean stall like jolly bean and soya milk plus other stuff as there is no meat on its other stuff. Other option like eating just fruit for the meal is also possible.

so long your options do not affect your partner in sitting down to have his normal meal then it s fine and u wont get bored dining w him then it s fine

[darkflame]

On 06/05/2016 at 3:22 PM, TheKaze said:

Personally, I beg to differ that those are excuses.

Language and culture are things I personally find it hard to look past. And as a matter of fact, these have nothing got to do with their race / skin colour per se. 

 

The ability to converse fluently in English is definitely a link between different races. But Mother tongue is the language that make myself feel at ease and comfortable with the person I'm interacting with. Of course, if the person I love happen to be someone of a different race, I will be more than willing to immerse myself into their culture and language as much as he is willing to for mine.

 

Having said that, it goes without saying that it is also very tough to actually be in a RS with someone of the same race (Chinese in this case) but is brought up in a westernised culture or totally do not speak their own language. 

 

I have to admit it is indeed quite tough to date someone who is of a different (sub)culture/language from you.

Some people I have dated realised my Chinese isn't fluent at all and we end up using English.

Not to mention, most of my closest friends are those who communicate in English and their families communicate in English too.

 

It can get quite stressful for me if I was required to speak in a different language other than the one I speak at home.

Which is why I always keep reverting to English when meeting new people or dating.

[kratos]

For me, no problem with skin color or nationalities,

 

Language barrier and communication are still the biggest issues if dating across borders, as well as beliefs and religions.

[Guest Tok]

I prefer indonesians, vietnamese and pinoys. 

[Guest]

I think race is irrelevant. I can understand however that some prefer to stick to a similar culture while other look for very different culture. To each his own. But there could be so many differences between a chinese American, Chinese PRC, Chinese Singaporean for example sometimes much more than let's say between a Chinese American and White American. 

 

All in all, it should never be about race. I understand why the government finds it important to categorise but it's up to us to look through race and focus on personality and other qualities. For those who prefer their own, just think that you may discover and learn a lot by dating a guy from a different culture! 

 

Lastly, I would encourage Singaporean to stop focusing so much on nationality. I know the gov encourages the national pride, but it's starting to create some nationalistic reactions towards foreigners. If you think there are too many foreigners, vote or get into politics, but don't judge other nationalities, your grand parents were immigrants as well. Everybody deserves a chance....

 

 

[sum1outhere_03]

I don't mind an ABC (American born Chinese) though

[dsd]

I scared of blacks but i dun mind being fucked by james earl Jones.

I dun like indians, but i fantasize about fucking president nathan.

I dun like middle eastern people but I've fucked a chubby pakistani sailor and a short elderly Turkish salesman.

I dun like PRCs but i masterbate looking at photos of Mao Ze Tong and Chiang Jing Guo (he was from prc). There's this bushy eye brow prc oldman that lets me suck him in the sauna.

 

I've had dutch husband for 22 years.

Now i fucking hong kong chubby white hair pastor for the last 10 years.

 

Last night i sucked off a short 80yr old aussie and this morning his equally old spanish partner tried to mount me.

 

Now i sitting in hdb heartland hawker centre gawking at chubby matured singaporean men (with their wives) and sneakily snapping a few photos.

 

I guess body shapes play a more important part for me. Every race have suckable and fuckable alternatives if body shape suits my taste.

[Tommy vietnam]

On 23/01/2016 at 1:48 PM, Guest said:

I am color blind so most important is mutual attraction.

I like your answer.

[Adam_]

Hmm a complex subject. Who you are attracted to.on a.sexual.level, who you would date, who.you.would choose to be a long term partner could all be different.

 

Race is not a factor in any of the three for me.

 

For sex depends on day and mood and situation and horniness. Generally physical level - good looking, hard dick, good hygiene, no bad smell and ready to play.

 

For more than sex and a situation where you might end up longer term it is more about reducing stressors that will make it hard to maintain a relationship. Nice personality, good hygiene, not vegetarian, not moody, intelligent, looks after health, friendly and interacts well with friends and people generally, not lazy and user, contributes equally to relationship, chores, household budget, shows effection and is respectful to each other and differences.

 

Close friends come from multiple races and countries and cultures. Partners have come from different races countries and cultures.

 

 

 

 

[singalion]

Just don't miss anything in life.

 

Be open. Explore.

 

Take the best experiences you can while you can.

 

When it boils down to a relationship, grab the chance don't hesitate.

It might work out of for life it might only for 2 weeks. Never regret.

 

Don't focus so much on side matters.

If race is important, than maybe you already set the wrong parameters.

 

 

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, singalion said:

Just don't miss anything in life.

 

When it boils down to a relationship, grab the chance don't hesitate.

 

Don't focus so much on side matters.

If race is important, than maybe you already set the wrong parameters.

 

 

ONE life is too short to not miss anything.  It is perfectly fine if we miss things.

 

A relationship is not different from other things when it comes to grabbing the chance.  There are chances and choices in many important things.

 

A choice of race is not more a "wrong parameter" than a choice of other things:  religion, language, male or female, tall or short, slim or fat, local or Ang Moh, younger or older,  etc. etc. etc.  There is no justification for demonizing choices of race more than choices of anything else.  What is important is the KIND of choice.   "To discriminate" has become an ugly thing.  But we discriminate right and left all the time.  Right now I am discriminating between going to the store today or tomorrow. We might discriminate against an Ukrainian because we don't speak his language,  but not because his capacity, his looks, his personality.  On the other hand, we should be open minded and not let race DISQUALIFY completely. 

 

I recognize that I have race as something that slightly influences my preference for a relationship.  A justifiable and acceptable parameter.  But then, I can accept a person who is not my best choice of race, if other characteristics are attractive.  I would accept an Ukrainian I am attracted to even if we have to communicate by sign language, and I would learn Ukrainian.  Same with gender.  I accepted at the time a woman because I was attracted to her for many reasons.   I would be attracted to a Buddhist even when I don't like the smell of incense and other perfumes.   Etc, etc.

.

 

Edited February 15, 2023 by Steve5380

[Guest Derelict]

If cock is big, physique is good, any race is fine.

 

But not those old farts 

[Steve5380]

11 hours ago, Guest Derelict said:

If cock is big, physique is good, any race is fine.

 

But not those old farts 

 

Yes, neither those old farts  nor those Derelicts of unknown age.

[Adam_]

Ageists are as bad as racists

 

As usual most of worst comments come from anon guest accounts.

 

 

Edited February 17, 2023 by Adam_

[Ryuki]

Nothing against personality but I do have my own preferences..

[yhtang]

I did not read responses from the whole thread, so I may be repeating what that had already been said.

 

Two points to consider here, a relationship, and race.

 

Relationship would mean being together for a significant period of time, and in most cases, exclusivity.  This requires a lot of understanding between the parties, and a lot of give and take.  This brings us to the matter of race. 

 

I feel that, in the old days, race and culture are inseparable.  Before travelling and migration, the world is much smaller, so a race of people defines the culture and behaviour of that group of people.

 

These days, with second and third generation of migrants, coupled with integration into host societies, the link between race and culture is not as close as it was some 100 years ago.   For example, a third generation Korean in USA or a third generation Tamil in South East Asia probably has a more diluted Korean cultural practice or Tamil cultural practice. 

 

In my opinion, for a relationship to work, the understanding between the parties of each other's culture and cultural behaviour is probably more accurate a discussion point than Race.  

 

Would I take into consideration my relationship partner's cultural behaviour?  Absolutely, because if we cannot accept each other's culture or come to a compromise of sorts, then that relationship would be doomed.