caindukkershannery Posted July 17, 2016 Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 I'm from Sabah and would be going to KL for a holiday later this year. We were always curious about gay saunas and thought we should experience it together. We talked and joked about fooling with other guys together, have great sex and who would do what to whom. My boyfriend(bottom) had 3P experiences with his ex, it wasn't what he wanted he said, he didn't mind servicing another guy or having his ex mess around with another guy, it was when his ex told him that the 3rd party wanted to do him in the ass that made him sad. They ended up double F-ing him that night. It's a hot story for me at least so I liked bringing it up before sex to get me all high and ready to pound my slutty boyfriend, but it's not the same to him, he didn't like it every time I tried bringing it up, to the point that he's in tears. So I stopped talking about it. I don't want to ruin my relationship with him, I want the experience of sex with more than just my boyfriend, but if this is going to ruin what we have, I rather not have it. And so I decided to talk about rules with him, we decided on what we can and cannot do, what we are comfortable with, setting boundaries. For example, he won't like it if I Effed some other bottom, but don't mind me(versatile) getting Effed in the butt by as many tops as I want while he plays with me, he would also like to see me getting BJ and being worshipped by other bottoms. Or another example, me not minding if he becomes a slut and gets the dicks of other guys in him, just as long as the focus is me the whole time. We also talked about having a threesome or foursome to try things out first before we go to a sauna. I know that there will be risks in doing this. So I would like to hear from you guys if you have done anything similar and how it turned out. Or if there are any advice on this. My boyfriend and I are on the same page in this. We will not do it if we think that we can't handle it. Or if things go bad during that time, we would stop. Thanks ahead for giving me advice. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firday Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 don't do since your bf is still immature and insecure - might ruin your relationship....stick to monogamy. kingbitch and mate69 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairy springroll Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Avoid keep out reach stay away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zero hero Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Such things don't work for me so I can't comment. But play safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solomondude Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Open Rlshp only can work if... 1. both parties are transparent and 99% honest in how they feel about their rlshp 2. safe sex always 3. rules what is appropriate what is not 4. puts you above priority over the other guys .... the list goes on... To be honest, Open Rlshp is very difficult to work it out. You wonder if thats an excuse to cheat without guilt. If one believes in monogamy while the other open rlshp - the rlshp is doomed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamziz Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Loads of sound advice here. Been there done that. Don't want to do it again and not encouraging anyone to do it. Not wise to sustain the relationship. All fun now but regrets and failures follow. You might even be his ex in no time. Maybe the relationship is not ready to be built yet. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 。| “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind, changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up." ― J'son M. Lee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Power Tongue Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Before I met my beautiful partner of 12 years, I had a lot of group fun... I have no regrets, but it can be dangerous. I'm lucky all is ok with my health... There times when things got very crazy and that can lead to unsafe situations. If if you have someone you love, just say no. It's between you and me, and your love will be strong. A third person will only incite jealousy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salt&Pepper Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 The way I read ur post, and u r obviously a young man, I suggest you seriously contemplate on why u think "I want the experience of sex with more than just my boyfriend". Besides, u clearly in ur post shows u know the right answers to ur questions. It feels at least to me u are either soliciting enough advise to stop urself or justify sex with others besides ur partner. The question may be u shd be asking is whether u r ready for a committed relationship. If not, dun waste ur current boyfriend's youth and time. mate69 and iamziz 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Take Responsibility Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 7 hours ago, caindukkershannery said: .. if this is going to ruin what we have, I rather not have it. And so I decided to talk about rules with him, There is your answer! It is no longer "IF" but "WHEN this is going to ruin ..." The way I see it, you are more in charge here and you took his past to your advantage even though you may think that "My boyfriend and I are on the same page in this". Have you ever wondered why he teared when you brought back about his past? BTW, a man who sincerely loves his lover will not label his partner "slutty" boyfriend. There is a thin line between respect for long term and a transient relationship. Go figure that out. When you are still not fully treasured what is between the two of you now, why invite the unknown? Is your relationship works on the basis of void? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ... Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Why make life so complicated for yourself? If he is the one for you, treasure what you have. Good guys are hard to come by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caindukkershannery Posted July 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 Sorry for the lack of some details. I'm 28 and he's 23. We've been together for almost a year. September first will be our first anniversary. We're both bakers and work together to build a homemade cake business. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caindukkershannery Posted July 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 19 hours ago, Salt&Pepper said: The way I read ur post, and u r obviously a young man, I suggest you seriously contemplate on why u think "I want the experience of sex with more than just my boyfriend". Besides, u clearly in ur post shows u know the right answers to ur questions. It feels at least to me u are either soliciting enough advise to stop urself or justify sex with others besides ur partner. The question may be u shd be asking is whether u r ready for a committed relationship. If not, dun waste ur current boyfriend's youth and time. I've heard that such relationships may work for some, so I thought I'd learn a little more from the rest of the guys. =) As for the question of whether or not I am ready to be committed to the relationship, yes I am. I'm clear of that. Never had slept with anyone that isn't my boyfriend. Had relationships that lasted from 2 to 4 years. Not one to fool around, had always been some sort of stupidly romantic dude, lol. Maybe I am the type of person who thinks that having a 3P can spice up our sex lives a little, not that it's boring. So this is not really that important to me, if I get that threesome, great, if I don't, okay~ I really don't mind it at all. =) Thanks for the advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caindukkershannery Posted July 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 17 hours ago, Guest Take Responsibility said: There is your answer! It is no longer "IF" but "WHEN this is going to ruin ..." The way I see it, you are more in charge here and you took his past to your advantage even though you may think that "My boyfriend and I are on the same page in this". Have you ever wondered why he teared when you brought back about his past? BTW, a man who sincerely loves his lover will not label his partner "slutty" boyfriend. There is a thin line between respect for long term and a transient relationship. Go figure that out. When you are still not fully treasured what is between the two of you now, why invite the unknown? Is your relationship works on the basis of void? I'm sorry and shouldn't have used the words slutty. I think it's only okay during sex. It kinda spices things up for me. Sorry~ But I am sure of how much I love my boyfriend, never loved anyone as much as him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cutejack Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 U mentioned he is yr bf n fuck around.come on.we r not animals.we e human with brain to think.have a serious r/s n treasure them.fun is only until yr cock can erect.give priority to yr heart.pls.thx iamziz 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 I think communication is important here. As long as both of you are comfortable, I don't think there is any problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Grayson Posted July 20, 2016 Report Share Posted July 20, 2016 If it's barely one year and u already need to spice up .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caindukkershannery Posted July 29, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2016 On 7/20/2016 at 10:59 AM, Guest Grayson said: If it's barely one year and u already need to spice up .. We both want to, don't need to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caindukkershannery Posted July 29, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2016 On 7/19/2016 at 9:28 PM, Guest Guest said: I think communication is important here. As long as both of you are comfortable, I don't think there is any problem. I guess you're right. More considerations to be done. Thank you for the advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted July 29, 2016 Report Share Posted July 29, 2016 There is always a risk to have 3some or more even together with your bf, how you know you or him won't get addicted and start to play behind the back, it's dangerous, if both fall in love, then treasure each other, love is not lust, is more than just chemistry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
numchucks Posted July 29, 2016 Report Share Posted July 29, 2016 But a 3P should be fun... U fuck him, he fucks u, he doubles fuck him... end up in different permutations. If there are boundaries, then I guess u are not comfortable with 3P, which probably explains the hesitation. Don't do anything u are not comfy with - for the sake of the 3rd dude as well - I'd be disappointed if a 3P turns out to be nothing but a petting party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Glyph Posted July 29, 2016 Report Share Posted July 29, 2016 Some of the comments here are just dumbfounding. It's as if there's no risk being cheated on by your partner as long as the both of you are in a monogamous relationship. *cue for some eye-rolling* Anyway, there's really only 1 condition to make this work, and that's maturity. Everything else is secondary, they're choices a/o conditions made by the both of you. And yes, monogamy is one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest It's messy Posted August 4, 2016 Report Share Posted August 4, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Xiaoming Posted August 12, 2017 Report Share Posted August 12, 2017 Are you not enough with each other? Why it has to involve another person while in a relationship? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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