Friendship Destroyed by Act of Stupidity

[Guest Anonnnnn]

Hi, so recently I've made a grave mistake. My friend and I were overseas for a club project.  My friend and I are very close that people thought we were a couple and I'm not sure if he has feelings for me as he gives me mixed signals and I did told him once that I had feelings for him and he said he is fine with it. We grew even closer. However during the project I did something foolish and use my dick instead of brain. So I tried to spy cam him when he was showering, so he saw the cam and he confronted me and things just went downhill then. I admit I am really really foolish and didn't know what I was thinking at that moment. During confrontation he was calm and didn't really shout at me or anything. He was talking to me in a calm manner. The next day he totally avoided all my messages and blocked me on all social media and unfriended me on FB. I wrote a letter twice and put under the doorstep but he did not reply. 

 

There was another person whom is staying in the house and my friended confided to that person. That person then messaged me asking me to get out in a foreign land threatening me that they will tell the project owner if I don't so I just gave in and moved out. I confided to one of my mentor whom is also gay and said that he knows I have made a mistake and that I didn't think before I react but he said my friend is not worth keeping as he couldn't take it as a prank and is too petty cause tbh I didn't see any part of him but he said he felt sexually assaulted. 

 

This is friend of mine is one of my closest Uni buddy and is actually the closest. I feel all alone and empty now and I really missed him. I tried to apologise to him through letters and messages but he just doesn't want to talk to me. 

 

It's been more than a month and it's harder as the day goes by. I don't know what to do to get him back. I know it will be a while as I really have broken his trust and I was also affected by the episode both party are victims of my thoughtless act. I don't know what to do? And is what my mentor say is correct? Him being petty by kicking me out and didn't dare to face me to kick me out. How can I gain his trust back  I feel my new academic year going to be lonely and empty. 

[Guest Minty]

Hello..Somehow i think you did something wrong.But there's no way to turn back the time.So if you got the chance to see him again,just make sure you will apologise to him sincerely.Hopefully he can accept.

[Guest Fatty]

Just move on. Friends come and go in our lives.

[rotikawin]

I think your ex-buddy could accept you being a gay. He could accept you having fond feelings of him. But when you spy cam on him, you totally crossed his threshold and shattered the trust. Whether you did see anything at all is not the point of contention, you broke the trust full stop. The only thing you can do now is to let the almighty "time" be the healer. Any wrong move you do now may make him even more wary of you and distrust you even more. And frankly I think your mentor's advice isn't very wise.

[Guest Anon2]

Wow what kind of degenerate scum spycam on their friends showering? You are the friend who is not worth having and don't deserve any friends, not the other way round. He is and will be better off without you in his life. What you did is illegal and utterly disgusting, it is not a prank, and you should have been reported to the police to be jailed, caned and shamed publicly, not be let off so lightly by your 'friends'. You and your mentor should be checked for mental illness as well.

[Guest guest]

treat it as a lesson learnt. your friend has been kind enough not to report you to the police. so be fair to him and do not bother him anymore. perhaps ur punishment for this mistake is the loss of a friend.

[suckmegood]

1 hour ago, rotikawin said:

I think your ex-buddy could accept you being a gay. He could accept you having fond feelings of him. But when you spy cam on him, you totally crossed his threshold and shattered the trust. Whether you did see anything at all is not the point of contention, you broke the trust full stop. The only thing you can do now is to let the almighty "time" be the healer. Any wrong move you do now may make him even more wary of you and distrust you even more. And frankly I think your mentor's advice isn't very wise.

 

yup. 

 

lines crossed. trust broken. only time will heal but cracks in mirrors will never heal.

 

he probably felt sexually assaulted. and that other "friend" of yours says he is petty? y not ask those folks who were sexually assaulted to take the assault as a prank? nonsense....

[KENZ]

TS you just have to man up and face the repercussions.

None of us are perfect, we all make mistakes but we all also have to take the consequences. You are no longer a Child.

You should be thankful that your friend did not escalate this into a police case. 

Even if the guy is your bf or husband, it is still wrong to do such a thing. 

Your mentor gave very wrong advice, that should not be the way we look at the situation.

*Hugz* move on from this episode ba 小弟, make new friends and don't repeat your mistake.

As mentioned before, we are just a PM away.  

 

[Guest Guest]

This is because you chose manmade creations instead of seeking wisdom from the ethereal realms of nirvana.....please practice the path of disscusion and knowledge leading to growth of wisdom.

[Guest Sage]

You have made an irreversible mistake. There is no way he will ever forgive you and your friendship is dead forever. If you ever get a chance to talk to him again, you can apologize again, but don't expect to be friends again. Meanwhile, it's time to reflect on your mistake, and move forward. Focus on building new friendships and treating people with more respect and dignity than you treated this particular guy. Don't ever do anything like this again, no matter how horny you are, and always be aware that actions have consequences.

[Guest 我的天]

You are creepy. You mentor and you have anti-social tendencies. The blind leading the blind is dangerous. I feel so sorry for your friend. He may have given mixed signals but didn't deserve what happened to him. You should move on and tell yourself not to make the same stupid mistake again.

[CamperBoy]

You need a new mentor. The blame is entirely on you. Not how petty the other party is.

[Guest Neh Neh]

Move on Jason Bond. It is so rude to spy on any body.

[Guest Gali]

12 hours ago, rotikawin said:

I think your ex-buddy could accept you being a gay. He could accept you having fond feelings of him. But when you spy cam on him, you totally crossed his threshold and shattered the trust. Whether you did see anything at all is not the point of contention, you broke the trust full stop. The only thing you can do now is to let the almighty "time" be the healer. Any wrong move you do now may make him even more wary of you and distrust you even more. And frankly I think your mentor's advice isn't very wise.

 

This is totally what I wanna say.

Take it as a lesson learnt.

Learn from your grave mistake and move on.

And also, dun be silly and fall for a straight guy. There are tons of gay guys out there.

[youngpunk]

the mentor is unfit to be a mentor.  totally irresponsible remarks.

 

for you, my guess is you probably have used the spycam on other occasions, so i'd suggest you spending some time to think about the pain you cause on your victims, and more importantly, ways to stop yourself from rolling further down the hill and become a full-fledged sexual perpetrator.

 

as for the friendship, it's a major act of betrayal esp. since he's already open-minded and kind-hearted enough to accept you for who you are.  if you've already done all the apologizing required, i'd say you should just stop and leave the poor guy along to have some closure so he could move on without shadow. 

Edited July 20, 2016 by youngpunk

[Guest Guest]

Dear victim friend, please report him to the police before he preys on another person. He is unrepentant and still got the cheek to called himself victim.

[Angelix]

I think I understand how your friend felt when you spied on him. It happened to me before albeit in a much more horrible fashion and until today I could not forgive him. In fact, I felt disgusted every time I thought about that incident. Being sexually assaulted is not a laughing matter as it can really scar a person for life. I'm glad that you realised your mistake and you did try your best to apologize but you cannot expect forgiveness to be given just like that. I think you should just wait for a while and let everything dies down before approaching him again. He might forgives you if he still thinks of you as a friend.

[Guest Guest]

You disrespected your friend who trusted you and for that, you deserve the end of your friendship. Put yourself in his shoes. If someone did that to you, how would you feel? You are lucky the police was not involved. Now learn from this lesson and be a better person. And oh, don't do it again! 

[justanotherme]

You should count yourself lucky that your arse is not resting inside the jail cell at this moment.

 

The trust has been breached. Do not try to harass him any further by creeping around his place and sending anymore letter.

It will make him feel uneasy knowing that you are lurking around waiting to grab any opportunity to get him.

 

A friendship is a consensus relationship between two person. Don't try to force yourself on him anymore. He is not your boyfriend. He is no longer your friend. Move on, or be prepared for the worst.

[Guest guest]

somehow reminds me of the yishun case...

8 hours ago, justanotherme said:

You should count yourself lucky that your arse is not resting inside the jail cell at this moment.

 

The trust has been breached. Do not try to harass him any further by creeping around his place and sending anymore letter.

It will make him feel uneasy knowing that you are lurking around waiting to grab any opportunity to get him.

 

A friendship is a consensus relationship between two person. Don't try to force yourself on him anymore. He is not your boyfriend. He is no longer your friend. Move on, or be prepared for the worst.

 

[Guest Neutral]

Yes indeed, what the TS did wasn't just a prank, it was a criminal offense. I would be angry and offended if the victim was me, not to talk about a straight guy. I think he is already being magnanimous by not bringing it further (for justice).

 

I know TS is remorseful, do what you should if there is an opportunity to sincerely apologise. Move forward and get on with life. Please don't do anything foolish anymore, and don't tell others. You won't know who will sabo you and you may end up in hot soup.

 

Good luck. 

[Guest Ejdj]

On 20/07/2016 at 7:23 PM, CamperBoy said:

You need a new mentor. The blame is entirely on you. Not how petty the other party is.

Agreed. When i read that OP's mentor had told OP that his friend "couldn't take a prank', warning bells rang.  What kind of people are OP hanging with?

 

Anyway, OP made a mistake. And mistakes have consequences. Face it. You were wrong.

[Guest guest]

You deserve that trashing! You deserve it all. How dare you took that video of him naked while showering without his consent. You are taking things too far. Your mentor should be shame of himself for giving you such an obscene advice. Both of you are not worth keeping as friends. I wonder how you would react if your mentor and that guy whom you crave about did that to you. Are you laughing it off because you think it is just a prank !!!??? THINK !

[roflparadox]

stop bashing the TS wtf, he's made a mistake and he's sorry for it. let's help him move on. 

[Guest Guest]

9 hours ago, roflparadox said:

stop bashing the TS wtf, he's made a mistake and he's sorry for it. let's help him move on. 

Can't tell if he is sorry from what he wrote

 

probably only regretted it cos he lost his friend not because what he did

[Steve5380]

On 7/19/2016 at 0:52 PM, Guest Anonnnnn said:

-----

This is friend of mine is one of my closest Uni buddy and is actually the closest. I feel all alone and empty now and I really missed him. I tried to apologise to him through letters and messages but he just doesn't want to talk to me. 

 

It's been more than a month and it's harder as the day goes by. I don't know what to do to get him back. I know it will be a while as I really have broken his trust and I was also affected by the episode both party are victims of my thoughtless act. I don't know what to do? And is what my mentor say is correct? Him being petty by kicking me out and didn't dare to face me to kick me out. How can I gain his trust back  I feel my new academic year going to be lonely and empty. 

 

This must have been a prime opportunity for you to realize that we do stupid things, which have consequences beyond our control. 

But the reaction you got here seems to be far overblown.  If making a hidden video of someone showering naked is such a crime, what is left for the actions of the guy who shot dead 49 people at a gay nightclub in Orlando?

 

I agree with your mentor.  What you did does not justify a friendship being cleanly cut by a samurai sword.  Did he made sure that you did not made a revealing recording or erased it if you made it?   Is he able to avoid any circumstance that would expose him to a repetition of such thing?  If the answer is yes,  then his following attitude was / is totally negative and of bad nature.  Like it is to pass on comments of the episode to others, therefore tarnishing your image. 

 

If he felt "sexually assaulted" by the episode and calls it like that, he is an idiot or a very inexperienced righteous fuck.  If he is a Christian, he should learn what his Master said about "he who is free of sin cast the first stone". 

 

Don't judge yourself too critically. If you were not of a good nature you would not have felt guilty like you did.  Look at this as a learning experience that did not come at a very high cost.  The friendship with the individual involved is of little value, and don't blame him either.  Unless those two are the only peers you have there, your life does not need to be lonely and empty.  If these two individuals are as vile as to badmouth you to others, you should not hesitate in negating their interpretation of the episode and call it as their misunderstanding. Period.

[Guest xXx]

During his calm confrontation, did you sincerely admit your mistake and apologized? Or, you were struggling with excuse after another excuse to support your foolish deed? Maybe your attitude had shut him off in this session and he decided to cut off any lines after thinking through that night.  By the time the morning came, your letter inserted under his door was useless as your last chance to patch up with him was gone.  

[gc0805]

Your ex-friend is probably feeling traumatised and betrayed by you now. He's probably still in shock and in denial. After a month, when he finally realises that what you did is utterly despicable and actually criminal, he will make a police report. When that happens, you will be kept too busy to worry about reconciling with him. 

So yea, nothing much you can or should do now.

[Steve5380]

15 minutes ago, gc0805 said:

Your ex-friend is probably feeling traumatised and betrayed by you now. He's probably still in shock and in denial. After a month, when he finally realises that what you did is utterly despicable and actually criminal, he will make a police report. When that happens, you will be kept too busy to worry about reconciling with him. 

So yea, nothing much you can or should do now.

 

A very negative post.  "Utterly despicable and actually criminal"... Are you a Catholic priest? 

How you compare filming an adult guy taking a shower with perverting young altar boys?

What kind of adult is still "feeling traumatized and betrayed, probably still in shock"  one month after catching someone trying to film him in the shower?

One can understand such feelings in a young girl being exposed nude on someone's facebook,  

but there is no mention of the adult guy in this episode being exposed anywhere.

And you are so SURE that this guy will make a police report!

Are you training to be a scarecrow?

Should anyone come within one hundred meters from you?

[gc0805]

I don't mince my words.

It is negative. It is criminal. It is punishable by law.

And he may end up losing more than just a friendship.

[Guest Fuwar]

If I were you, I will ask someone I know to pass a handwritten message to tell him that I am sorry and that I know that what I have done is unforgivable. I have betrayed his trust. I know we can never be friends again and all I wish now is for him to feel safe and sound. Goodbye and all the best.

 

I feel that what you are doing is still hoping that things can be the same as before. In other words, you are looking at the issue from what you want rather than what he needs. If we truly care about the other person, what we ask from them is not forgiveness but to give them the space they need to feel safe again. It is really his call to forgive you. You cannot dictate him to do so. Wishing for it while understandable is self-serving...

 

It is a painful lesson for you no doubt. I can understand that. Have you own your mistake and accept that this painful result is the consequence? If you have not, may I suggest that you do so that you have the will to move on and make things better for the future. Find a way to make a difference to others and be a better man. I believe you can.

[Steve5380]

15 minutes ago, gc0805 said:

I don't mince my words.

It is negative. It is criminal. It is punishable by law.

And he may end up losing more than just a friendship.

 

I don't mince my words either.

You are out of your mind.

For what the TS did to be criminal, he would have had to have intentions to blackmail or otherwise injure his friend.

There is no indication that any of this happened.  There is no indication that a revealing video ever remained.

You are trying to create unnecessary discord.

[gc0805]

Noted with thanks.

[Guest Dignity, Respect and Honor]

Dear TS,

 

Many of the comments here seem a bit harsh, but lots of truth in them.

 

You can't possibly return back to how u and him used to be. Even if he accepts you, somewhere somehow a deep scar was formed. Mistakes made, ensure you don't commit the same mistake again. More importantly, do you see how disrespectful your actions had been? If so, I believe you will not want to do it to a stranger, or worse, your best friend ever again. What will you feel if a friend you trusted secretly film you without your knowledge? He can say it's for personal consumption, but when trust is broken, you will not trust what he said too.

 

Everyone made mistakes. But what's important is how much you learn from it, and how to not commit them again.

 

Sincerely apologise to your friend, and don't expect any acceptance from his part. If he accepts you again, that is very very gracious of him. I find him quite honorable to speak to you calmly and not reporting this to the police, for the sake of your reputation. In a way, he still cared. But it's a natural defensive mechanism for him to react this way. 

 

Last but not least, good thing he caught you in the act. At least you will start reflecting now. You never know what will happen of you if you successfully spy cam him this time. Prob you'll end up in jail for being a sex predator someday. It's a slippery slope you do not want to even take a step forward.

 

Wish you all the best, sincerely.

[Blacque]

On 7/20/2016 at 1:52 AM, Guest Anonnnnn said:

There was another person whom is staying in the house and my friended confided to that person. That person then messaged me asking me to get out in a foreign land threatening me that they will tell the project owner if I don't so I just gave in and moved out. I confided to one of my mentor whom is also gay and said that he knows I have made a mistake and that I didn't think before I react but he said my friend is not worth keeping as he couldn't take it as a prank and is too petty cause tbh I didn't see any part of him but he said he felt sexually assaulted. 

 

This is friend of mine is one of my closest Uni buddy and is actually the closest. I feel all alone and empty now and I really missed him. I tried to apologise to him through letters and messages but he just doesn't want to talk to me. 

 

It's been more than a month and it's harder as the day goes by. I don't know what to do to get him back. I know it will be a while as I really have broken his trust and I was also affected by the episode both party are victims of my thoughtless act. I don't know what to do? And is what my mentor say is correct? Him being petty by kicking me out and didn't dare to face me to kick me out. How can I gain his trust back  I feel my new academic year going to be lonely and empty. 

 

Seriously dude? You're lucky that he did not publicise this matter or called the police. Count your blessings and move on. I don't think he wants to have anything to do with you anymore. 

[Guest AMDK meh?]

9 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

This must have been a prime opportunity for you to realize that we do stupid things, which have consequences beyond our control. 

But the reaction you got here seems to be far overblown.  If making a hidden video of someone showering naked is such a crime, what is left for the actions of the guy who shot dead 49 people at a gay nightclub in Orlando?

 

I agree with your mentor.  What you did does not justify a friendship being cleanly cut by a samurai sword.  Did he made sure that you did not made a revealing recording or erased it if you made it?   Is he able to avoid any circumstance that would expose him to a repetition of such thing?  If the answer is yes,  then his following attitude was / is totally negative and of bad nature.  Like it is to pass on comments of the episode to others, therefore tarnishing your image. 

 

If he felt "sexually assaulted" by the episode and calls it like that, he is an idiot or a very inexperienced righteous fuck.  If he is a Christian, he should learn what his Master said about "he who is free of sin cast the first stone". 

 

Don't judge yourself too critically. If you were not of a good nature you would not have felt guilty like you did.  Look at this as a learning experience that did not come at a very high cost.  The friendship with the individual involved is of little value, and don't blame him either.  Unless those two are the only peers you have there, your life does not need to be lonely and empty.  If these two individuals are as vile as to badmouth you to others, you should not hesitate in negating their interpretation of the episode and call it as their misunderstanding. Period.

You ang mo you don't being naked on the street. People is asian ok, got big difference! You may have good intentions. But pls don't use your ang mo lens to judge an aisan mindset! 

[Guest Anon2]

4 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I don't mince my words either.

You are out of your mind.

For what the TS did to be criminal, he would have had to have intentions to blackmail or otherwise injure his friend.

There is no indication that any of this happened.  There is no indication that a revealing video ever remained.

You are trying to create unnecessary discord.

 

You are the one who is out of your mind, and are you the stupid 'mentor' of that degenerate dispensing your ridiculous and absurd 'advice' trying to deflect and diminish the severity of his actions?

 

You mean blackmail and injury are the only acts that can be pinned onto that degenerate? Like that NTU guy who was caught filming, you think he got let off without any consequence? Yeah no indication that it ever happened, if it weren't a troll thread, how about starting with a public confession of his actions in a public forum? And how are you so sure the video never remained?

 

[Guest Sgboy88z]

You came to this forum seeking a help. Many guys were trying to say " you are wrong , you deserve this as a punishment ". It's the truth , but you cannot bear it.

 

Solution is to continue with him as the Best Friend while he is rejecting you. If you are an intelligent & smart guy you should be able to find a way to get him back to you. You know him very well , can't you think of a trick to get him back to you. 

 

Think of this imaginary situation. I am dreaming to be friendly with a cute guy. One day I catch him spy record me shower. I get angry , shout at him. Later I make it a chance to get close to him.

 

Offer him something that he is not able to refuse. It's u & him Ma , once become friends again this incident is just history.

 

U can PM good helpful friends here for help. Good if they are in same UNI , can physically help to tie you both together. 

 

Take it easy  & study well.

 

 

[Guest Guest]

10 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I don't mince my words either.

You are out of your mind.

For what the TS did to be criminal, he would have had to have intentions to blackmail or otherwise injure his friend.

There is no indication that any of this happened.  There is no indication that a revealing video ever remained.

You are trying to create unnecessary discord.

Correct me if I am wrong, filming someone naked or showering itself isn't criminal??

[Guest Guest]

14 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

But the reaction you got here seems to be far overblown.  If making a hidden video of someone showering naked is such a crime, what is left for the actions of the guy who shot dead 49 people at a gay nightclub in Orlando?

 

 

What are u trying to infer by comparing this to Orlando case?

 

anyhthing less fatal than taking 49 lives means less serious? Why not compare to other monstrous massacre in history to make it looks like a holy deed?

 

 

[Guest Guest]

12 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

A very negative post.  "Utterly despicable and actually criminal"... Are you a Catholic priest? 

How you compare filming an adult guy taking a shower with perverting young altar boys?

What kind of adult is still "feeling traumatized and betrayed, probably still in shock"  one month after catching someone trying to film him in the shower?

One can understand such feelings in a young girl being exposed nude on someone's facebook,  

but there is no mention of the adult guy in this episode being exposed anywhere.

And you are so SURE that this guy will make a police report!

Are you training to be a scarecrow?

Should anyone come within one hundred meters from you?

Not everyone is an exhbitionist who enjoy being watched or filmed.

 

Who are you to judge how should the victim feel?

 

Who are you to judge 'one month' is long enough for an adult to forgive and forget what has been done to him/her?

 

How long then should be appropriate for person that has been violated by other means, sexually or physically ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Guest]

15 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

 

I agree with your mentor.  What you did does not justify a friendship being cleanly cut by a samurai sword.  Did he made sure that you did not made a revealing recording or erased it if you made it?   Is he able to avoid any circumstance that would expose him to a repetition of such thing?  If the answer is yes,  then his following attitude was / is totally negative and of bad nature.  Like it is to pass on comments of the episode to others, therefore tarnishing your image. 

Hey why so worry about the victim telling others about the episode and tarnish your image if you think what you have done isn't that wrong??

[Steve5380]

5 hours ago, Guest AMDK meh? said:

You ang mo you don't being naked on the street. People is asian ok, got big difference! You may have good intentions. But pls don't use your ang mo lens to judge an aisan mindset! 

 

I think you make too much ethnic or racial distinction.  We humans are all more or less the same.

We are all qualified to judge people from other groups taking into some consideration possible cultural differences.

But cultural differences should not go too far in justifying moral differences.

If it were not this way,  how can one justify the speed with which you Asians adopted a non-Asian religion like Christianity?

Now you also should adopt the principles of its leader Jesus Christ.  He preached FORGIVENESS.

"Neither I do condemn you." Jesus declared. "Now go and sin no more."

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

Correct me if I am wrong, filming someone naked or showering itself isn't criminal??

 

That's right!  The porn industry does this all the time, and they are not criminals.

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

anyhthing less fatal than taking 49 lives means less serious?

 

Yes. Don't you think so?

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, Guest Anon2 said:

 

You are the one who is out of your mind, and are you the stupid 'mentor' of that degenerate dispensing your ridiculous and absurd 'advice' trying to deflect and diminish the severity of his actions?   You mean blackmail and injury are the only acts that can be pinned onto that degenerate?

 

If there was no injury to the offended party, to his friend ("injury" meaning anything that victimized him), then... where is that "severity" in the TS actions, where is his criminality? For a CRIME to have been committed, there has to be a VICTIM.  And in a more refined context, there has to be INTENTION to victimize.

[Guest Guest]

24 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

That's right!  The porn industry does this all the time, and they are not criminals.

 

It's this thing called consent, you stupid twat.

[Steve5380]

13 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

It's this thing called consent, you stupid twat.

 

"Consent" was not in the question I answered, you stupid twat.

[KENZ]

17 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

If there was no injury to the offended party, to his friend ("injury" meaning anything that victimized him), then... where is that "severity" in the TS actions, where is his criminality? For a CRIME to have been committed, there has to be a VICTIM.  And in a more refined context, there has to be INTENTION to victimize.

 

Steve, you mean to say in your country it is perfectly fine to use a spy cam or hidden cam to video people when they are showering without their consent because it is just for our personal viewing pleasure (as long as no intention to victimize) ?!? Which country is that? 

[gc0805]

1 hour ago, Steve5380 said:

 

If there was no injury to the offended party, to his friend ("injury" meaning anything that victimized him), then... where is that "severity" in the TS actions, where is his criminality? For a CRIME to have been committed, there has to be a VICTIM.  And in a more refined context, there has to be INTENTION to victimize.

 

If you film people WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT, when they are bathing, or having sex or in other circumstances where they have every right to expect privacy, you will have committed a criminal act. Even in the west:

http://www.universityherald.com/articles/4001/20130725/csu-student-video-recording-men-showering-campus.htm

In Singapore, an NTU male student was recently arrested for videotaping another male student bathing. This was widely reported in our local Chinese newspapers. Perhaps your were not aware of it.

If found guilty, the CRIMINAL can expect jail sentences.

http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/courts-crime/man-gets-8-weeks-jail-for-taking-videos-of-woman-in-shower