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How to overcome when yr love ones or Bf have pass away

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iamziz Veteran

iamziz

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I was a Daddy's boy. My Dad passed on a day after his 93rd birthday 9 days ago. Some people take a longer time to grief. Some people take a shorter time. However the duration is, take your time. At the same time, keep yourself busy. The memories you made with the person will come and knock on you when you least expect them. Don't brush them away because they will come back from time to time. Embrace them. Smile. Cry if you need to. Nothing to be ashamed of tearing up. Remember the good things the person left behind. We continue living. They will always be tucked in our heart somewhere. 

 

For all of us living and still have loved ones, take every opportunity possible to make beautiful memories to smile when our loved ones gone or for them to smile when we are gone.

Edited by iamziz

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 。| “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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cutejack Grand Master

cutejack

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, iamziz said:

I was a Daddy's boy. My Dad passed on a day after his 93rd birthday 9 days ago. Some people take a longer time to grief. Some people take a shorter time. However the duration is, take your time. At the same time, keep yourself busy. The memories you made with the person will come and knock on you when you least expect them. Don't brush them away because they will come back from time to time. Embrace them. Smile. Cry if you need to. Nothing to be ashamed of tearing up. Remember the good things the person left behind. We continue living. They will always be tucked in our heart somewhere. 

 

For all of us living and still have loved ones, take every opportunity possible to make beautiful memories to smile when our loved ones gone or for them to smile when we are gone.

So sorry to hear abt yr dad ziz.u ever told me tat u came to visit him in cgh.everyone has to go one day.as long  we dont do anything which hurts them when they around is important.b strong ziz.

Side track.abot.Many daddy here

GDont worry

They r call sugar daddy.lol

 

 

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Guest Guest

Guest Guest

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yes 2 lovers but much older . Predicted  older will die first ? How to cry  and become river ?Arrange a Will first from yr 2 older lover maybe no need to cry .

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Ener Newbie

Ener

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5 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

Ener..you mean your current two lovers ？ 

 

 

3 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

yes 2 lovers but much older . Predicted  older will die first ? How to cry  and become river ?Arrange a Will first from yr 2 older lover maybe no need to cry .

Hahaha the internet trolls... don't you guys just love them. Hmmz... 2 precious does not have to be lover lah.. my secret and yours to imagine. :whistle:

Edited by Ener
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Guest RJs

Guest RJs

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12 minutes ago, Guest What to do said:

After all the fucking, cruising, biching and showing,  a man will still be lonely.  That is Gay's destiny.

That's very true.

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  • 1 year later...
Mique75ts Newbie

Mique75ts

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, Guest Mockingbird28 said:

My bf passed away last year due to complications of aids. I am still feeling the sadness and i don't know how to move on.

Keep yurself very occupied and busy with anything to keep yur mind off 

It does help. Another way is to jus talk and talk about it to someone 

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cutejack Grand Master

cutejack

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Posted (edited)
On 9/3/2017 at 2:35 PM, Guest Mockingbird28 said:

My bf passed away last year due to complications of aids. I am still feeling the sadness and i don't know how to move on.

R u affected by the virus too?

Edited by cutejack
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Zackling Newbie

Zackling

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i used to know this girl.. say we were 5 yrs apart by physical age.  she just entered secondary 1 education & i was abt to graduate. 

 

we met during schooling days & it wasn't ur typical heads over heels kinda of love.. she fainted when she entered the school grounds, and i just happened to be there.. contacted the ambulance, sent her to hospital, then saw her back in sch the next day.. it started with taunting & teasing between both of us..

 

till the day i found out she had stage 4 bone cancer, her parents were in the midst of a divorced. Piggy back her to class, send her home piggy back her with my own bag on as well, waited for her rain or shine at the sch main gates. till the day she pass away in my arms..

 

22 nov 95 was a day i never forgot how she left me..walked out on my o levels that very day, went to attend her funeral and her parents told me that they found out abt our relationship based on her diary & she left me a necklace with a cross pendant with both our names carved on it. I never turned back to school & forsook my academic future .. went on to work and work and work and work till i landed in hospital for days.. worked till i forgotten date & time in order to numb my pain & anguish.. but ever since i recovered.. now married, i still visit her at Mount Vernon sanctuary every once a year to laid a rose or two together with my wife. 

 

never forgotten our songs: Led Zeppelin Stair way to Heaven & Novemember rain by Guns & Roses.. and our common interest: (After 8 - brand) chocolate mint.

 

 each time i played the songs on the day she left.. tons of memories will come flooding back into my heart & mind.. she could be felt as if she's still alive & next to me. 

 

 

Edited by Zackling
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cmlf Newbie

cmlf

Posted
Posted
On 9/3/2017 at 2:35 PM, Guest Mockingbird28 said:

My bf passed away last year due to complications of aids. I am still feeling the sadness and i don't know how to move on.

 

hi, separation/breakup/divorce/infidility being already tough for most, the loss of life partner loved dearly can be an insurmountable challenge to move on as well.

 

found this resource for you: http://www.thebody.com/content/art2486.html

Gay Widowers: Grieving in Relation to Trauma and Social Supports

 

Michael Shernoff, MSW
From PLENUM Publishing Corporation

 

March, 1998

As published in the
Journal of the Gay & Lesbian Medical Association, Vol. 2, No. 1, March, 1998
©1998 PLENUM Publishing Corporation

 

 

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cmlf Newbie

cmlf

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Zackling said:

i used to know this girl.. say we were 5 yrs apart by physical age. we met during schooling days & it wasn't ur typical heads over heels kinda of love.. till the day i found out she had stage 4 bone cancer. Piggy back her to class, send her home piggy bag her with my own bag on as well, waited for her rain or shine at the sch main gates. till the day she pass away in my arms.. 22 nov 95 was a day i never forgot how she left me..walked out on my o levels. never turned back.. went on to work and work and work and work till i landed in hospital for days.. worked till i forgotten date & time.. but ever since i recovered.. now married, i still visit her at Mount Vernon sanctuary every once a year. 

 

never forgotten our songs: Led Zeppelin Stair way to Heaven & Novemember rain by Guns & Roses.. 

 

 

if fate has it, i would tell the world this chapter in your life, of how love sustains no matter what, in a true-life story movie in dedication to her, and, most of all, you.

 

if you can, think about how it can and should bring about something else, for example, to support persons/families with loss or dealing with terminally ill love ones today. good to equip with some certification specialization and some of the many opportunities as follow:

http://www.griefrecoverymethod.co.uk/train/

http://aihcp.net/american-academy-of-grief-counseling/

 

 

Edited by cmlf
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Guest Guest

Guest Guest

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, Zackling said:

i used to know this girl.. say we were 5 yrs apart by physical age. we met during schooling days & it wasn't ur typical heads over heels kinda of love.. till the day i found out she had stage 4 bone cancer. Piggy back her to class, send her home piggy bag her with my own bag on as well, waited for her rain or shine at the sch main gates. till the day she pass away in my arms.. 22 nov 95 was a day i never forgot how she left me..walked out on my o levels. never turned back.. went on to work and work and work and work till i landed in hospital for days.. worked till i forgotten date & time.. but ever since i recovered.. now married, i still visit her at Mount Vernon sanctuary every once a year. 

 

never forgotten our songs: Led Zeppelin Stair way to Heaven & Novemember rain by Guns & Roses.. 

I have a BW account but I decided not to login. Only moderators know who am I.


I can understand your feelings. 
 

I have a girlfriend for 6-7 years. Before my NS, we were together. She waited for me after my NS completion. Lots of fond memories. 


She passed away in SGH more than 10 years ago. At that time, I wanted to commit suicide. I was very depressed, refused to talk to anybody. No medication, nothing. 


I went backpacking taking a bus from Singapore all the way to Beijing. I thought I can get over, but, when I returned home, I still think of her. So, I went again for long backpacking trip to Tibet. I cried and cried during the trip. The first 3-5years, it was very tough to get over. 


As I am typing now, my tears drop. 真的很痛苦。


Never been into relationship. 

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Guest guest

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my mentor inherit dementia and his family took away him from his lover...in a sudden mode.

 

sold away his house, cut off his hp and whatever contact from the world - engage a maid and lock him into small hdb.

 

i dun know how his lover tahan this seperation .

 

 

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abang Newbie

abang

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My relationship with my late mother could have been one of the most well-documented episode in this forum.  She was wheelchair-bounded for more than 10 years and so her departure was more of a relief for the deceased and me.

 

However, there is always that sentiments popping up once in a while. That moment of heartbreak..心痛的感覺 comes every now and then..

 

Sharing  a haunting ballad, written by a then-early 20s. 邰肇玫 fell out of love and wrote this song in the bus on the way home.  Its melancholic tune is still one of songs I turned to when my relationship fails.

 

Here are two versions of the song..one made famous in 1985 by one of my favourites, Julie Su Rei and the other, a rock version by a male singer/actor, Vans who to some, is quite a good looking chap.

 

** Take away Aiqing 爱情(love between 2 unrelated people) and changed it to  "Qinqing 亲情。。and they don't write such songs anymore....

 

 

Of course, Terry Lin did justice to this song too.

 

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