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Anyone think like me? It seems cute boy is not for me

BlaAnima2

By BlaAnima2
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BlaAnima2

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Hi all

 

I remember during the year 2006 when I was working back in a small company, I found out friendster and saw a cute boy who is very handsome.

I acted weirdly during those days that I fall in love with his look and admire adore him.

I found out where he always hanging, and went to that place alone, waiting whole day just to wait him to turn up but dare not go and approach him, because I dont have the courage and reason to be his friend, he is rich, while I am poor, he is handsome while I am ugly. He wore trendy clothes, while I am wearing plain clothes buy 2 get 1 free with similar design

 

I save his pictures in my phone and stare at it. I look down on myself of how poor I am, how ugly I am, and feels tremendously sad over myself, on why I am not born to look like him

 

I am always self pity, and the feeling of inferiority goes deeper once I know that there are gay who looks so handsome but they are out of my reach

 

However I was cure at that time by ignoring them (those cute boys I see on friendster/facebook). I made up my mind thinking that they aren't for me, I am not deserved to have them and focus myself on other things.

 

Time flies, and now there is an app call Bigo and recently I found myself looking at handsome boys stream more often. I paid around more than $500 to keep purchasing diamonds to rewards those handsome boys. Buying the game super car, cupid, bike, flowers, ring, crown and showering them to those boys. I even start to feel jealous when one of the bigo boy I follow went out with his friend. My mind busy whispering me that "oh that boy so handsome, the friend beside him must be trying to seduce him, probably that boy will be turned gay, you have no chance over him. You can only cry in one corner".

 

I felt disturbed and sad, and the sadness from the past re-appear in my mind, I am not loved, and I dont have a reason to live. I can keep continuing visiting gay spa, but I couldn't find love there, it is merely releasing my lust, I can't find someone I can admire or adore, to look forward to become one, I can't find someone who I want to protect to prevent him getting into gay world. I want to love him, to care him, I want to get him out of the gay world while hiding the intention of making him mine. How pathetic am I?

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BlaAnima2 Newbie

BlaAnima2

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Look back during 2007-2008

 

I have a friend lets call him H, he is handsome but always agitated or in anger. I told him that I am gay and I like him. But he grasp my collar and want to hit me then say he is straight.

 

He knew that I like him but still be my friend, coz we stay in the same dorm. He is coming from another city and didn't have friends that time. He didn't get a job few months initially and I will always treat him whenever I have chance, buy him clothes, things to make him happy.

 

I was happy that time even we are not in a relationship. I demand nothing, just to be with him. When I saw his manly spirit, full of hopes in life, handsome looks, and lust towards women, I really look up to him. As I no longer have everything he had, I have no hopes in life, no handsome look and have no reason to live.

 

We had a quarel after coming back from holiday, he told me that he wont want to be friend with me anymore. I felt sad, and move out from the dorm without telling him. Later on he keep contacting me saying how he were made used by another gay and have sex with him, I feel sad because we never even had sex before eventhough I have spent a lot on him. But I let it go, as because he is probably not mine to begin with.

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Guest guest try lah

Guest guest try lah

Posted
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2 minutes ago, BlaAnima2 said:

Look back during 2007-2008

 

I have a friend lets call him H, he is handsome but always agitated or in anger. I told him that I am gay and I like him. But he grasp my collar and want to hit me then say he is straight.

 

He knew that I like him but still be my friend, coz we stay in the same dorm. He is coming from another city and didn't have friends that time. He didn't get a job few months initially and I will always treat him whenever I have chance, buy him clothes, things to make him happy.

 

I was happy that time even we are not in a relationship. I demand nothing, just to be with him. When I saw his manly spirit, full of hopes in life, handsome looks, and lust towards women, I really look up to him. As I no longer have everything he had, I have no hopes in life, no handsome look and have no reason to live.

 

We had a quarel after coming back from holiday, he told me that he wont want to be friend with me anymore. I felt sad, and move out from the dorm without telling him. Later on he keep contacting me saying how he were made used by another gay and have sex with him, I feel sad because we never even had sex before eventhough I have spent a lot on him. But I let it go, as because he is probably not mine to begin with.

 

 

so how that gay man manage to made use of him, when u can't ?

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BlaAnima2 Newbie

BlaAnima2

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Just now, Guest guest try lah said:

 

 

so how that gay man manage to made use of him, when u can't ?

 

Yes, that was the saddest part. I long already suspect the gay man is into him and told him that the guy likes him because of his look.

He told me to fuck off and say not everyone is gay like me. I didn't pursue the matter, and after I left the dorm, the gay step into his life deeper since H no longer want to meet me.

 

Thats why I decided to left the dorm, then the gay suck H's bird (according to H's confession later on during 2010+) and H felt guilty.

During his confession, he want to tie back our relationship, but I couldn't accept it. I treasure him and wouldn't want to destroy him and make him gay, and yet he let someone do it to him, and that one is not even sacrificing anything.

 

During my time with H, I had no money every month end, because I spend it all on him, but that was how he repay me

 

 

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BlaAnima2 Newbie

BlaAnima2

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Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, BlaAnima2 said:

 

Yes, that was the saddest part. I long already suspect the gay man is into him and told him that the guy likes him because of his look.

He told me to fuck off and say not everyone is gay like me. I didn't pursue the matter, and after I left the dorm, the gay step into his life deeper since H no longer want to meet me.

 

Thats why I decided to left the dorm, then the gay suck H's bird (according to H's confession later on during 2010+) and H felt guilty.

During his confession, he want to tie back our relationship, but I couldn't accept it. I treasure him and wouldn't want to destroy him and make him gay, and yet he let someone do it to him, and that one is not even sacrificing anything.

 

During my time with H, I had no money every month end, because I spend it all on him, but that was how he repay me

 

 

 

But the best part is, I realize he finally understand my sacrifice

 

During 2010 that we met, he confess that he bought 2 cars because he made a good fortune. At first I didn't think of it, but from what he is trying to say, it seems that he buy 2 because one is for him and he reserves another one for me when I am back with him. After knowing that, I felt happy but I couldn't accept him anymore

 

And I realize the reason he acted that way because during the times we are together, we dont have much money and I would always be the one footing the bill even draining all my money away every end of the month. Maybe he finally felt it, that we are poor and I am happy that he is willing to sacrifice for me even though we can no longer be together

Edited by BlaAnima2
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Guest take care

Guest take care

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Posted

You send ALL or most of the money you have on someone u like.  Wow.  No one can be worth that kind of sacrifice....

Then again, maybe love is blind.

TS, wake up and be more sensible.  Look after yourself too.

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Johny Ng Newbie

Johny Ng

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Here's something I can say, no one is born to be perfect. I think you sure give him a second chance and see if he truly want to be with you, people wouldn't realise how a person care for him and love him until he lost it then he finally realise he just lost the person who truly loves him. I think from what he try to do is he ask for forgiveness. Looks doesn't reflect a person true personalities, but knowing a person long enough will tell you a person true personalities. Try give him a second chance.

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Guest Fatty

Guest Fatty

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11 hours ago, Johny Ng said:

Here's something I can say, no one is born to be perfect. I think you sure give him a second chance and see if he truly want to be with you, people wouldn't realise how a person care for him and love him until he lost it then he finally realise he just lost the person who truly loves him. I think from what he try to do is he ask for forgiveness. Looks doesn't reflect a person true personalities, but knowing a person long enough will tell you a person true personalities. Try give him a second chance.

A leopard never change its spots.

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Guest Guest

Guest Guest

Posted
Posted
On 28/10/2016 at 3:09 AM, BlaAnima2 said:

 

guy who is not handsome not making me feel anything

You are not only ugly, you are stupid, pathetic and deserve the horrible treatment.

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Guest Alan

Guest Alan

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55 minutes ago, BlaAnima2 said:

I am looking for a cute guy 20+ here in tampines, anyone can pm me if interested

You better look for old man, you are not young anymore! 

A cute 20+guy won't like you, unless you have money.....

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fab Grand Master

fab

Posted
Posted
On 28/10/2016 at 0:09 AM, BlaAnima2 said:

 

guy who is not handsome not making me feel anything

 

Do u think handsome guys will feel anything for u?

鍾意就好，理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结怨

解怨不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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BlaAnima2 Newbie

BlaAnima2

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3 hours ago, Damontan said:

I think you just need to remember to take your medicine, or go see a psychiatrist if you have ran out of it. :)

 

Everytime I see my psychiatrist, she won't even probe me on how I felt, just asked "so you okay", I will reply "okay", then she proceed with printing the meds until next appointment, then case closed until next appointment

 

Even for example i say "not okay", she will give a deep sigh, and give a tone that she is going to get angry, so normally I will just say "okay".

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KAXavion Rookie

KAXavion

Posted
Posted (edited)

I like your story. I am touched by your story. I have never been through anything like that. I felt for you. :)

 

"so I shall make sure that there is no love on earth" - I will try and show you that there is 1

Edited by KAXavion

With regards,

Logos_Latest80.png

 

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Guest tru

Guest tru

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19 hours ago, BlaAnima2 said:

I concluded that Love is for the Weak

 

so I shall make sure that there is no love on earth

 

Lol such colossal pride. The only thing u can make sure is you will have no love, which is pitiful. You lust after those handsome guys la...u don't love them...if u love them u wouldn't want to shortchange them so much by trying to be with them.

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Momopolare Newbie

Momopolare

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On 11/7/2016 at 8:57 PM, BlaAnima2 said:

 

Everytime I see my psychiatrist, she won't even probe me on how I felt, just asked "so you okay", I will reply "okay", then she proceed with printing the meds until next appointment, then case closed until next appointment

 

Even for example i say "not okay", she will give a deep sigh, and give a tone that she is going to get angry, so normally I will just say "okay".

Seems like she had deemed you hopeless already. 

Better up your game dude.

Under your influence, you're the magic in my veins.

 

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Guest Duh

Guest Duh

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On Tuesday, November 08, 2016 at 8:49 PM, BlaAnima2 said:

I concluded that Love is for the Weak

 

so I shall make sure that there is no love on earth

U r pathetic.

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  • 3 weeks later...
GoodInBedBFmaterial Newbie

GoodInBedBFmaterial

Posted
Posted

It would seem, TS is in touch with certain aspects of reality, for instance, he is aware of his own looks & financial status.

But, it is apparent, that he is so detached from other aspects of reality, that he's either in denial,
or fails to see, and refuses to acknowledge, come to terms, and subscribe, to more realistic expectations and
beliefs, versus adamant insistence, upon and about, what
he should, or should not, do.

Thus, plaguing him, with much internal conflict, 
and self-contradiction.

Given his situation & dilemma, short of cosmetic surgery,
(which he'll claim he can't afford),
there's really no feasible way to have his fantasy and desire, fulfilled.

Perhaps, short of a miracle or a fairy tale, he really should let go of the notion, that a handsome young man would fancy an ugly toad, without some form of incentive, monetary or otherwise.

Though one may argue that there are exceptions out there, common reality dictates, that, like begets like in this case, versus opposites attract; and, exceptions to the rule (of thumb), are truly rare.

Then again, I wouldn't know.
I wasn't born ugly to begin with, 
and I don't presume to even think, that guys who are obviously beyond my reach, would be interested without prejudice.

With that, I definitely wish from the bottom of my heart, 
that ts would finally find what he ultimately deserves.

I pray he gets in touch with reality, soon.

But, of course, ugly as he claims to be,

who is to say he cannot dream ?

All the best.

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Guest Guest wont feel anything

Guest Guest wont feel anything

Posted
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On 28/10/2016 at 0:09 AM, BlaAnima2 said:

 

guy who is not handsome not making me feel anything

 

They don't choose you because you won't make them feel anything cos like you said, you're ugly,

inside out.

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melvinlam90 Newbie

melvinlam90

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TS, you should probably change your psychiatrist. Doesn't seem to be helping you much in my opinion. 

But beside that, a question to ask yourself is probably 'why do you find the compulsive need to compare yourself to others'. 

There are always better looking guys, hotter body guys, richer guys than you. If you're not happy with something, get down to business and do something about it. If you think you're not good enough, do something about it. Be happy about yourself, and people will naturally be attracted to you. Let's face it, nobody likes to date someone who has low self esteem all the time.

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  • 7 months later...
Guest Michael

Guest Michael

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On 27/10/2016 at 11:49 PM, BlaAnima2 said:

Hi all

 

I remember during the year 2006 when I was working back in a small company, I found out friendster and saw a cute boy who is very handsome.

I acted weirdly during those days that I fall in love with his look and admire adore him.

I found out where he always hanging, and went to that place alone, waiting whole day just to wait him to turn up but dare not go and approach him, because I dont have the courage and reason to be his friend, he is rich, while I am poor, he is handsome while I am ugly. He wore trendy clothes, while I am wearing plain clothes buy 2 get 1 free with similar design

 

I save his pictures in my phone and stare at it. I look down on myself of how poor I am, how ugly I am, and feels tremendously sad over myself, on why I am not born to look like him

 

I am always self pity, and the feeling of inferiority goes deeper once I know that there are gay who looks so handsome but they are out of my reach

 

However I was cure at that time by ignoring them (those cute boys I see on friendster/facebook). I made up my mind thinking that they aren't for me, I am not deserved to have them and focus myself on other things.

 

Time flies, and now there is an app call Bigo and recently I found myself looking at handsome boys stream more often. I paid around more than $500 to keep purchasing diamonds to rewards those handsome boys. Buying the game super car, cupid, bike, flowers, ring, crown and showering them to those boys. I even start to feel jealous when one of the bigo boy I follow went out with his friend. My mind busy whispering me that "oh that boy so handsome, the friend beside him must be trying to seduce him, probably that boy will be turned gay, you have no chance over him. You can only cry in one corner".

 

I felt disturbed and sad, and the sadness from the past re-appear in my mind, I am not loved, and I dont have a reason to live. I can keep continuing visiting gay spa, but I couldn't find love there, it is merely releasing my lust, I can't find someone I can admire or adore, to look forward to become one, I can't find someone who I want to protect to prevent him getting into gay world. I want to love him, to care him, I want to get him out of the gay world while hiding the intention of making him mine. How pathetic am I?

 

Sis, you can’t find love in saunas. Gays go there to fuck. Am I wrong?

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