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Relationship with Bi ?


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Some called me silly, some called me foolishly.

 

I was happened to meet this guy (not from apps) and fall for him. I'm a quiet person by nature, so it will be very obvious when I 'click' with someone. He made me comfortable around him, a different feeling I get from other people I ever closed with. We likes each other. He motivates me to do a lot of things which all my previous dates failed to do, including going to the gym, not to keep things for myself and be able to express myself/ my feeling more, and a lot of other things. All was good until he revealed that he actually just accepted his female colleague proposal to be her BF, due to personal reason. To cut story short, you can read the whole story here if you are interested: Link removed

 

Now I really don't know what to do. I started to put no expectation on him and just try to enjoy the moment I have when I'm him (I'm ready to let him go when he decided that it's the time to go) because in the end of the day I know that I will always be in the losing end.

 

FYI: Sex is not the main intention in this situation. I never want to have sex with him, and he also dun wanna have sex with me as he scared of hurting me, even when I said it's okay.

 

I'm writing here not to ask you guys to tell me what to do, suggest me things, and judge me, because in the end of the day I know that I'm the one who must make a decision. But if you were in my shoes, what will you do?

Edited by He Who Must Not Be Named
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Well, read your tinyurl a bit....but it seem to me that he dun really takes you seriously. All i can see is that he is always late for appointment with you. I am surprised that you can put up the wait for some meetups that even that he is late for almost 3 hours. 

 

My intuition tells me he just need a same-sex companionship. Something like a Bromance but less than that actually, cause he dun really takes you seriously. 

 

Time to brace up and see the light of things. 

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Guest Be YOURSELF

To be honest after reading your long list of disappointment after disappointment; yes you are silly and foolish but not exclusive. A lot of people both men and women are simply fatally infatuated. 

You should read through the posts like you were a stranger and ihings become clearer that he was just a player. 

One who gets a guy who asks for date and then insists on going Dutch, should happily pay because the date is officially over and be glad that a loser has just been dropped. 

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When they are at the altar,

"I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have 50% and to hold 50%, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love 50% and to cherish 50%, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge 50% of myself to you."

 

Is this the kind of person you want to be with?

Just admit you are only interested in having sex with him.

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5 minutes ago, keyboard said:

Is this the kind of person you want to be with?

Just admit you are only interested in having sex with him.

 

Not at all. I have never talk anything sexual to him. He did asked me for the first few times we met, but I rejected. After the incident when I got mood swing, he never even wanna hug me, as he scared of hurting my feeling. We never had sex before.

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2 minutes ago, J0Boo said:

More distractions. More sacrifices to be made. More commitments.

 

Do you think he can handle all these? What he is doing is unfair to you and his gf. I suggest you reconsider again. :lol:

 

Exactly, he always mentioned about his selfishness and his unfairness towards me, which he felt sad about too. He certainly dunno what he want right now, neither I do.  

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Just now, He Who Must Not Be Named said:

 

Exactly, he always mentioned about his selfishness and his unfairness towards me, which he felt sad about too. He certainly dunno what he want right now, neither I do.  

 

I guess you can give him and yourself some time to think about it again? In the end is YOU who must feel happy with your partner.:lol:

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I guess in Chinese, one willing to beat, one willing to get beaten. Both are jian ming.

 

From front to back, no one was giving out the commitment. Only the other party gong gong thinks he doesnt want to hurt me. If people want to play victim, then is it any surprise if it turns into a sad drama in the end. Like so surprising... not.

 

Then the, nobody wants to love me, becoming the homosexual family wrecker. You already don't want to give up and want to lead this sad life. Like I always say, if making yourself unhappy, makes you happy. We are not in any position to suggest anything for you. It's your life.

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Just now, J0Boo said:

 

I guess you can give him and yourself some time to think about it again? In the end is YOU who must feel happy with your partner.:lol:

 

I rarely initiated conversation with him once I know his story, but secretly still hoping for him to jio me out. He always asked me not to be silly, as I always said "I'm happy when you are happy", because he know he cant make me happy (That's what he said). 

 

Thanks for you thought. Appreciate it 

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17 minutes ago, He Who Must Not Be Named said:

 

I rarely initiated conversation with him once I know his story, but secretly still hoping for him to jio me out. He always asked me not to be silly, as I always said "I'm happy when you are happy", because he know he cant make me happy (That's what he said). 

 

Thanks for you thought. Appreciate it 

 

Hugs hugs~ Time will heal. Hang in there :lol:

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Ts please move on..

Its really not worth to let him take aadvantage of you . Besides you are still very young and tend to be emotional too , some of us like me have gone through what you go through now .

Take time to know more guys , besides he is a bi and you know its not going to be a happy ending for you .

In the end you are just heaping more wounds and hurt on.yourself and the time to heal will take so much longer instead .

So do yourself a favour love yourself and have the courage to just stop seeing him . I'm sure there are better guys out there just that you  have met yet to meet.

Best wishes to you . 

I also notice each time he ask you for a hug and kiss etc. It may just be the urge as a bi for him to have such men to man intimacy . Sorry I also don't know if he has sex with other guys beside her gf.

So pls pls he's really not worthy of you at all.

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I think you have to be clear on what you want first. 

It sounds like you are unsure and the only reason you are unsure is because he is unsure.

Enjoy whatever it is you have while it last. And it sounds like it's gonna drag on by the looks of the two of you.

 

11 hours ago, He Who Must Not Be Named said:

 

Exactly, he always mentioned about his selfishness and his unfairness towards me, which he felt sad about too. He certainly dunno what he want right now, neither I do.  

 

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Guest Another guest
20 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

Ts please move on..

Its really not worth to let him take aadvantage of you . Besides you are still very young and tend to be emotional too , some of us like me have gone through what you go through now .

Take time to know more guys , besides he is a bi and you know its not going to be a happy ending for you .

In the end you are just heaping more wounds and hurt on.yourself and the time to heal will take so much longer instead .

So do yourself a favour love yourself and have the courage to just stop seeing him . I'm sure there are better guys out there just that you  have met yet to meet.

Best wishes to you . 

I also notice each time he ask you for a hug and kiss etc. It may just be the urge as a bi for him to have such men to man intimacy . Sorry I also don't know if he has sex with other guys beside her gf.

So pls pls he's really not worthy of you at all.

To TS,

 

I agree with the above Guest. I think his attraction towards you is physical (which can include other things besides sex) whereas your attraction towards him is emotional. Unfortunately there lies the mismatch. Unless he himself wants to try harder to make things work, it is not going to work regardless of what you do or don't do. Move on while it is still early. Trust me the pain will be greater the longer you wait.

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It sounded to me like he's just filling his free time with you (or other guys, not too sure about that), which is probably why he didn't pay attention to you or focus on you when you meet up. The text messages that always come after the whole incidents looks more like pacifying rather than trying to take a serious view towards the next step between the both of you. 

 

If he cannot take you as a priority, I honestly don't see why you should be 'waiting for him like a fool' again and again. You're just there as a stand-in (probably) when he's free, or when he's bored, and i honestly can't see myself being in that position. It might be hard, but move on and stop introducing so much drama into your life. You sound like someone who needs to connect to another being in a lot of deep emotional levels and this guy is just not at the same place as you are right now.

 

If I were you, I will just end this charade and move on. Hard as it may be, you got to cut short the pain sometimes.

 

Good luck.

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Dear TS,

It seems you are very confused to what exactly you want. He, isn't helping, but making matters worse for you.

You have be alone for the time being, and think thru thoroughly -  what you like / dislike about him.

A relationship has a lot of give and take and I won't be painting a nice story here: Is never easy to be in a relationship. Lots of hard work and commitment to keep it going.

Be very focus and pragmatic, at least for now.

Take care and all the best.

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