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BF keeps Sexting other guys...


fackfruit

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Have been a big fan of this forum for many years... really like your no holds barred advice... and this time, I'll need it for me. :-(

 

I've been with my bf for over 3 years already. During our first few months of dating, I discovered he was flirting with other guys and sexting them. He even went as far to send them his dick pic, etc. I was disgusted and blew my top off (LOL) but we got over it eventually. This, as we were still in a new RS and yet to form rules/boundaries.

 

Fast forward 2 years later, one night, I felt a bit insecure, so I went to check his phone. I found that he was still sexting guys. But instead of having the same reaction, I didn't tell him. Instead, I kept reading them, and realised he sexts guys when he is jerking off. And often, these guys really have quite low standards in terms of looks.

 

Some even ask him, 'won't your BF be jealous'?

 

I really don't know how to approach this situation. What would you all do? And what do you think he feels the need to sext other guys? 

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He doesn't appreciate you. You should leave him.

 

If a girl told me that her boyfriend keeps sexting other girls, I will also tell her the same thing.

 

You deserve better, bro.

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No big deal.

Its always up to individual tolerance level.

 

Some r'ship can have 3 some.

Some is - one guy low sex drive, another high sex. So low sex guy allow the high sex to find ONS at sauna, etc. At long he know where to stop. Sex is just sex.

 

So if u cannot tahan, then just let it go. If he loves u, only treat those sexting as a form of urge to release, let him be.

Honestly, whats so big deal about letting ppl see yr dick.

 

Google alot of porn

sauna alot of skin night

BW alot of dick pic, example - who don't mind to show me yr dick, etc.

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Its simple, he's highly sexual driven and he's not getting that from you.

 

Its either you stoop to his level and give him what he wants, which is a little bit of fun and erotism in your relationship or you guys should talk it out maturely. Tell him what u like and what u don't, come to an understanding if you guys are truly right for each other and speaking the same language.

 

Whether we like to admit it or not, sex is a big part of a relationship.

 

Trust is another one. Is he just sexting or there's more to it than meets the eye?

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It can be anything from a simple fetish of his (which you have to deal with), to the prelude of the end of a relationship. An ex of mine used to jerk off to porn while I'm asleep right next to him, and it's not like I'm difficult when it comes to sex with him or anything. I guess it must one of those reasons... ya know? The "I'm not good enough.", or "He's tired of me." Either ways, it was an utter ego buster.

 

One of the times I caught him, I finally asked why he wouldn't initiate on me. And the reason he gave was that "the feeling is different bah..." We broke up a few years later.

 

Here's hoping you'll meet a different fate. Good luck.

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7 hours ago, fackfruit said:

Have been a big fan of this forum for many years... really like your no holds barred advice... and this time, I'll need it for me. :-(

 

I've been with my bf for over 3 years already. During our first few months of dating, I discovered he was flirting with other guys and sexting them. He even went as far to send them his dick pic, etc. I was disgusted and blew my top off (LOL) but we got over it eventually. This, as we were still in a new RS and yet to form rules/boundaries.

 

Fast forward 2 years later, one night, I felt a bit insecure, so I went to check his phone. I found that he was still sexting guys. But instead of having the same reaction, I didn't tell him. Instead, I kept reading them, and realised he sexts guys when he is jerking off. And often, these guys really have quite low standards in terms of looks.

 

Some even ask him, 'won't your BF be jealous'?

 

I really don't know how to approach this situation. What would you all do? And what do you think he feels the need to sext other guys? 

Talk to him again? 

Edited by escapade
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in my opinion, if just texting then nothing done physically probably is still being loyal to you.

 

well man all made to think with their lower head so if nothing so wrong that has happened, probably ask him why and see what he says

 

i was caught jerking by my ex once after i declines to have sex with him and he got pissed off... of course the feeling is different and also, jerking off uses less energy haha 

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I just cammed with an old flame in the US who recently married his bf. It didn't start out sexual but one thing led to another and when he suggested I did ask what were their rules. Still feeling super guilty lor. 兄弟们,我错了吗?

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15 hours ago, fab said:

1. Letter of advice.

2. Letter of warning.

3. Termination.

 

1. Wrong,

2. Wrong,

3. Wrong.

If fackfruit  and his bf are still together after 3 years, there something more than faithful sex that keeps them together.

Let's appreciate what is there.

The flirting and sexting with other guys is little more than watching porn.

If this is what gives him satisfaction, why not?

BF must not have any problem if fackfruit does the same.

A relationship like this can last forever if each party gets the satisfaction he seeks without the other making a big drama-rama over that.

Let's reason prevail.

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Sexting him from your workplace or during your lunch time.... if these are what he is looking for. Approach him in a way that he enjoy, if it still doesn't work talk to him . If it still doesn't work, look for some1 else ! 

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On 1/10/2017 at 11:00 PM, Mockingbird27 said:

Something somewhere is definitely wrong in the relationship. Anyone who requires anyone else to make up what is lacking in a relationship, has some issues to deal with. A person cannot have his feet in 2 different boats. You guys definitely need to talk n locate the issue.

 

A person cannot have his dick in 2 different asses at the same time.  But he can have them on separate occasions.  We don't eat and sleep only in one place. 

And it is not because something is "lacking", but because there is excitement in variety.

Few men are made to be monogamous, and the majority we are not.

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Let's be honest, nobody sext for friendship and chat. Do you sext your platonic friends? Of course you don't.

So chances are, he's already cheating on you.

 

If you still want to salvage this, I highly recommend you sit down with him and explain how his actions are making you feel about the r/s. A good partner will listen to his other half and try make things work. Remember, focus on the issue and not him.

 

But if it was me, the moment I caught him sexting, he's gone. No coming back from that.

 

 

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7 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

A person cannot have his dick in 2 different asses at the same time.  But he can have them on separate occasions.  We don't eat and sleep only in one place. 

And it is not because something is "lacking", but because there is excitement in variety.

Few men are made to be monogamous, and the majority we are not.

 

Absolutely true.

 

Unfortunately, many people don't understand it.

 

It is necessary to act ignorant when the need arises

 

 

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If he loves u, he won't hurt u.

 

If he hurts u, he doesn't love u.

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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On 1/15/2017 at 4:33 PM, fab said:

If he loves u, he won't hurt u.

 

If he hurts u, he doesn't love u.

Lets put it in a reverse way.

If you love him, you will want him to be happy and let him have fun with others.

If you dont love him, you will not care about his happiness and will put lots of restriction on him.

Edited by yoyo74
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Guest Funlover
3 hours ago, yoyo74 said:

Lets put it in a reverse way.

If you love him, you will want him to be happy and let him have fun with others.

If you dont love him, you will not care about his happiness and will put lots of restriction on him.

 

 

Since he wants to have fun with others so much, you can make him even more happy by setting him totally free.

 

Save yourself the heartbreak. Get someone who is contented having fun with you. 

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9 hours ago, Guest Funlover said:

 

 

Since he wants to have fun with others so much, you can make him even more happy by setting him totally free.

 

Save yourself the heartbreak. Get someone who is contented having fun with you. 

There are actually a lot of people who will only be happy if they got a BF and able to have fun with other guys that they prefer. As for heartbreak are only people who would feel jealous easily. Many people always say they want monogamous relationship but their heart always stray away when another cute guy comes along. This is the reason why a lot of straight and gay relationship fails. Gay relationship looks to fail more but in actual fact straight is the same but is binded by children and a piece of paper where divorce can lead to guy losing half his assets and fortune. If a person can overcome jealousy than there will be no heartbreak but only few can do it.

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3 hours ago, yoyo74 said:

There are actually a lot of people who will only be happy if they got a BF and able to have fun with other guys that they prefer. As for heartbreak are only people who would feel jealous easily. Many people always say they want monogamous relationship but their heart always stray away when another cute guy comes along. 

 

Yes, this is so clear and simple.  Jealousy is the killer of relationships, not the lack of sexual exclusivity. 

It is perfectly fine to have a relationship where the faithfulness does not include the sex.

This faithfulness means that we care, love, dedicate our life to each other more than to anyone else.

But we don't mind if we enjoy sex with others here and there.  Just the opposite: we wish each other fun!

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  • 6 months later...
Guest Auntie Annie

I caught by BF for 2 years sexting someone and we quarreled a lot about it. To pacify me, he said he’ll not do ir again. Last night when I checked his phone, he is still doing it and not just with one guy. Should I break up with him?

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7 hours ago, Guest Auntie Annie said:

I caught by BF for 2 years sexting someone and we quarreled a lot about it. To pacify me, he said he’ll not do ir again. Last night when I checked his phone, he is still doing it and not just with one guy. Should I break up with him?

U cant stop a dog from straying.let it go or close both eyes.

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Playing the devil's advocate here 'cause I have always thought of sexting as something more of a grey zone.

It's not something as clear cut right or wrong, but has to see the context.

 

Because really... if a person is sexting but let's say if he never have actual sex with the other guy (or never even meet that guy he is sexting with), how different is it that a more immersive version of watching porn?

 

Don't get me wrong, I think sexting is definitely wrong when it starts to divide his commitment, e.g. he is doing it when he is with you, he is on his phone all the time although it's dinner with you. But if he does it in his bedroom in the middle of the night to get off, then is it really a big issue?

Edited by derryfawne

“Do not take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard

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