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Would not texting him make him lose interest in me?


Guest LovePuppet

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Guest LovePuppet

Appreciate some advice here.. 

 

I met someone about 2 months ago and we hit it off since the first day we met each other. Both of us texted every day since the start of the year and hang out at least once a week. One month into knowing each other, it was obvious to him that I liked him. He told me he would consider a relationship with me but it is difficult for him at the moment for some reasons such as too short a period knowing each other, losing freedom, overly cautious etc..). Since then, he takes a while to reply my texts. In his defense, his workload is piling up and he still tries to meet me 70-80% of the time when I ask him out. However, I sense he is just seeking accompany and the interest from him is certainly not the same as before.  

 

I have plenty of things to do and I try to meet friends and new people but I still think of him. I know he will be away for a couple of weeks so I tried to cue him for a catch-up before he goes away but he said he will meet me when he comes back instead.  

 

I know the answer would be to give him some space. I am just shocked at how things seem to turn south so quickly. 

 

Can I text him things like "take care" at all or not or wait for him to text? What would you guys do? Would not texting each other for a couple of weeks seem too long?

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Guest Talk to him

I would text him to say that 'hi buddy, you know I like you right? Do you like me too? Bec if you do I am not feeling it.'

see what he says. Don't try to second Guess if he likes you or not.

i met someone 3 years ago and we hit it off immediately too. We would chat Everyday a few times even if it is just a simple good night good morning... what you doing... etc. We meet whenever we can for movies or coffee or hugging/etc sessions as much as we can get the privacy. We never did say if we should be together but we both feel it so there's no need to ask. In your case, you don't feel him sobyou need to ask him so you don't waste your time. If he is not yours don't persist.

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5 hours ago, Guest LovePuppet said:

Appreciate some advice here.. 

 

I met someone about 2 months ago and we hit it off since the first day we met each other. Both of us texted every day since the start of the year and hang out at least once a week. One month into knowing each other, it was obvious to him that I liked him. He told me he would consider a relationship with me but it is difficult for him at the moment for some reasons such as too short a period knowing each other, losing freedom, overly cautious etc..). Since then, he takes a while to reply my texts. In his defense, his workload is piling up and he still tries to meet me 70-80% of the time when I ask him out. However, I sense he is just seeking accompany and the interest from him is certainly not the same as before.  

 

I have plenty of things to do and I try to meet friends and new people but I still think of him. I know he will be away for a couple of weeks so I tried to cue him for a catch-up before he goes away but he said he will meet me when he comes back instead.  

 

I know the answer would be to give him some space. I am just shocked at how things seem to turn south so quickly. 

 

Can I text him things like "take care" at all or not or wait for him to text? What would you guys do? Would not texting each other for a couple of weeks seem too long?

It's a common issue isn't it?  always the same old problem of 'I like,  u don't like me' case...  or rather people nowadays lose interest rather quickly.  sometimes don't know what they want.  

 

Encounter a guy said he is seeking romance on app but turns out to be bromance.  wtf is bromance when u can have romance? TS,  all I can say that he is a time waster.  Move on! 

--- To infinity and beyond ---

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Guest LovePuppet
4 hours ago, Guest Talk to him said:

I would text him to say that 'hi buddy, you know I like you right? Do you like me too? Bec if you do I am not feeling it.'

see what he says. Don't try to second Guess if he likes you or not.

i met someone 3 years ago and we hit it off immediately too. We would chat Everyday a few times even if it is just a simple good night good morning... what you doing... etc. We meet whenever we can for movies or coffee or hugging/etc sessions as much as we can get the privacy. We never did say if we should be together but we both feel it so there's no need to ask. In your case, you don't feel him sobyou need to ask him so you don't waste your time. If he is not yours don't persist.

 

He told me before he doesn't miss me and like me as much as I do. 

 

How long does he take to reply you ? Does he take initiative to text you first?

 

3 hours ago, auscent said:

Some ppl r scared if things go too fast. Ease off a bit. But give a testing period say 3 months. No improvement then move on.

 

3 months from now?

 

 

 

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Guest Milo Stylo Pilo

Relationship is like a foetus. It takes time to develop.  However, most people are too afraid to loose something once they get what they wanted.  Fear began to develop and resulted in paranoia, than became quite crazy that freaked out the other person.  It happens, emotions overloaded, imagination turned wild.  Both parties developed similar syndrome and was too much to bear.  A breather is sought, breaking up is the best way forward to break free of relationship burden, may be the relationship hasn't even started at all?  I don't know.  I do know most people are not free thinking, it is a Singapore culture to be Kiasi, afraid of many imagined things going to happen, like worrying about voting for the wrong party....the rest became history.   Back to the topic,  who cares really,  instead of thinking, why not letting - with the flow?

 

Bye!

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11 hours ago, Guest LovePuppet said:

 

He told me before he doesn't miss me and like me as much as I do. 

 

How long does he take to reply you ? Does he take initiative to text you first?

 

 

3 months from now?

 

 

 

He has spoken. Accept it n move on.

 

Its a blessing to be loved.... dont always be the one dispensing love.

 

 

That said, someday you might meet someone who loves u as much as u love him, or even more than u can wish for,

 

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To ts...

 

அவர்கள் அந்த அணுகுமுறை இருந்தால், அவர்கள் கடந்த கண்ணியம் அழித்து கொடுக்க கூடாது,

முகம் மற்றவர்கள் கொடுத்த, தன் சொந்த இழந்தோம் என்பதை நினைவில் வையுங்கள்.
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Guest Boyfriend

"He told me before he doesn't miss me and like me as much as I do."

 

Ask me to clarify what this means. If he likes you as much as you do why wouldn't he miss you if you miss him so much??

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Guest LovePuppet
31 minutes ago, Guest Boyfriend said:

"He told me before he doesn't miss me and like me as much as I do."

 

Ask me to clarify what this means. If he likes you as much as you do why wouldn't he miss you if you miss him so much??

 

1 hour ago, snowball said:

如果对方已经表明态度,别把自己最后的尊严也给摧毁,

面子是别人给的,脸是自己丢的,切记。

 

 

1 hour ago, FluteGuan said:

To ts...

 

அவர்கள் அந்த அணுகுமுறை இருந்தால், அவர்கள் கடந்த கண்ணியம் அழித்து கொடுக்க கூடாது,

முகம் மற்றவர்கள் கொடுத்த, தன் சொந்த இழந்தோம் என்பதை நினைவில் வையுங்கள்.

 

Thank you all for the input. I guess I can be very stubborn at times, I did mention at the time of his message he still considers a relationship with me in the future. I know this is going to sound like my wishful thinking, but to me, it meant that there's still hope. Knowing many unsuccessful AJ couples around, it has taught him to be more cautious when coming to agree on entering a relationship. As much as I would love a rs with him asap, I do agree with him (feel free to slap me). Surely the person pursuing has to put in effort to earn the place in his heart. I would really be flattered if he chooses me?

 

Nonetheless we are not getting any younger, so I will learn to let go if he is still unsure in the coming weeks. 

 

I appreciate any tips how I can make him think of me?

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9 hours ago, Guest LovePuppet said:

 

 

 

Thank you all for the input. I guess I can be very stubborn at times, I did mention at the time of his message he still considers a relationship with me in the future. I know this is going to sound like my wishful thinking, but to me, it meant that there's still hope. Knowing many unsuccessful AJ couples around, it has taught him to be more cautious when coming to agree on entering a relationship. As much as I would love a rs with him asap, I do agree with him (feel free to slap me). Surely the person pursuing has to put in effort to earn the place in his heart. I would really be flattered if he chooses me?

 

Nonetheless we are not getting any younger, so I will learn to let go if he is still unsure in the coming weeks. 

 

I appreciate any tips how I can make him think of me?


You cant really make someone think of you. let nature take it course bah.

"I did mention at the time of his message he still considers a relationship with me in the future" <--- unless you really buy that he is very busy, if not, this sentence only meant that he is keeping u as a 2nd option or not wanting to hurt your feelings by rejecting you directly.

"too short a period knowing each other, losing freedom, overly cautious etc" <--- the reasons he gave seems weird to me. if you say lacking the understanding and not trusting each other due to the short period, still acceptable. But reason such as losing freedom is more of fear of being in relationship rather than being with you. He fear commitment in short.

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Communication that trails off is usually a sign of waning interest but it still doesn't hurt to drop a casual hi every now and then. If the reply is brief or too far in between then I think you have your unfortunate answer.

 

Even if it all falls apart, you only knew him for two months. You're not THAT much emotionally invested. Cut your losses and run.

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Guest Boyfriend

" But reason such as losing freedom is more of fear of being in relationship rather than being with you. He fear commitment in short. "

 

This is a very valid point to consider, imho. Unlike others who jump straight to the conclusion that he is keeping you as a "second option", I dont think that this is the most important reason. I know of relationships, personally I am in one right now, where both parties feel like they have to keep their options open just in case a more "perfect" or "ideal" person comes along, which makes the other party in the relationship feel more insecure, which then translates into a viscous downward spiral (like how a small seed of doubt gradually grows into a black hole). My advice is this: WE ALL FEAR THE OTHER PARTY WILL DEFAULT BECAUSE OF WE CAN NEVER PREDICT THE FUTURE. Therefore one must not get into a relationship by expecting one's partner to be able to somehow magically solve all your own personal life problems.  

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Guest Boyfriend

In other words, a relationship is never a magic pill to cure your own set of problems. If we get into a relationship with this baggage of expectations, there will be a higher chance that one will be emotionally unsatisfied. This is where your ties with your colleagues, relatives, family, etc. come in - their importance will not diminish regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not. Life is filled with other meaningful things which one can divert attention towards.

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19 hours ago, Guest LovePuppet said:

If I were you, I will scale back and even not contact him. Why should you be the one who pursues him and not the other way round. Sometimes they say absence makes a heart grow fonder. If he misses you enough to become more proactive, then good for you. If not, then you have the answer and just move on.

 

 

Thank you all for the input. I guess I can be very stubborn at times, I did mention at the time of his message he still considers a relationship with me in the future. I know this is going to sound like my wishful thinking, but to me, it meant that there's still hope. Knowing many unsuccessful AJ couples around, it has taught him to be more cautious when coming to agree on entering a relationship. As much as I would love a rs with him asap, I do agree with him (feel free to slap me). Surely the person pursuing has to put in effort to earn the place in his heart. I would really be flattered if he chooses me?

 

Nonetheless we are not getting any younger, so I will learn to let go if he is still unsure in the coming weeks. 

 

I appreciate any tips how I can make him think of me?

 

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I think u you just move on .

He's simply not keen anymore ..

It's you who put too much emotion onto it while he's the one who feel loved by you.

He's just a time waster move on ..I definitely deserve someone better .

 

我很喜歡這段話:「短期交往靠感覺,長期交往看性格 ,一生交往看人品!時間是個好東西,驗證了人心,見證了人性,懂得了真心,明白了假意。我總是擔心身邊會失去誰,可我卻忘了問,有誰會害怕失去我?人生,努力了、珍惜了、用心了,問心無愧就好!雖然我不完美,但我很真實!」
用真實的心對待我生命中的每一個人!

Hope this Chinese message will see clearly the character of this time waster..

 

Sometimes you put too much by being sincere but that may not be the case of the other party ..you worry you may lose him but have you thought for yourself whether he would even give a damn if he loses you instead ? 

You really deserve someone better who would appreciate you respect you etc.

 

Best wishes )

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Guest LovePuppet

Thanks all for the advice! 

 

Since he's away now, I don't think I want to text him at all until he comes back. He knows I miss him so I just make myself not to think about it first. Will see how it goes. 

 

24 minutes ago, Guest jizz said:

are you cute? if not, i doubt he would want to continue texting u :(

 

Haha, i think I look OK enough to make him hard :) looks are subjective anyway.

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if he loses interest in u so easily, u r better off not having him.

 

At all.

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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people who want u will make time for u.

 

people who wont make time for u, wont want u.

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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TS ..别在自自欺欺人了

Anyway its just not too long too , go seek other options for yourself too.

Fully agree with others about being busy ..if he has the heart for you no matter what  .. you will still be his highest priority .

Respect people who find time for you in their busy schedule .

But love people who never look at their schedule when you need them .

Pls wake up to your senses ..there are better guys definitely who would appreciate you . He's just not worth it .

 

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This may be a Hokkien song but it relates to unrequited love.

You may like someone but he prefers another.

 

陈盈洁 - 海海人生


作词:娃娃
作曲:张国荣
编曲:Ricky Ho

人说这心情 罕罕罕罕卡快活 不通太阴沈 想着会惊
有人真古意 定定嘛是有人变卦 这人情怎样才看ㄟ破

人说这人生 海海海海路好行 不通回头望 望着会茫
有人爱着阮 偏偏阮爱的是别人 这情债怎样计较输赢

 

轻轻松松人生路途阮来行 无人是应该永远孤单
阮会欢喜有缘你作伴 要离开笑笑阮没牵挂

 

 

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I have the same dilemma as well!

 

We also met early Jan. We practically text every day and meet 2-3 times a week in the first month, we share food, we met each other's friends, he stayed over twice, we hugged and kissed (but no other physical contact, I should have seen it coming), we are both off Grindr, we even planned for a holiday in my hometown.

 

Things change after CNY, we don't text or meet as often, I found out that he is back on Grindr (via a friend's profile), but we still go ahead with the holiday because it has already been booked. In the 3D2N trip, there was still no physical contact, finally I asked him what does he think of us progressing to the next level. He replied that he feels comfortable around me but he does not feel sexually active towards me (which is a deal breaker for me). He continues to say we are definitely 友达以上,恋人未满. He enjoys where we are now but isn't ready to commit, he thinks we should also meet other people in the meantime. 

 

After the talk, I'm ready to let him go. He texted me again after the trip, and wanted to catch up for lunch. What does this mean? Am I a float while he is out there finding someone better? My bestfriend advised me to draw the line and cut him loose but I just can't :( 

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48 minutes ago, kylegogo said:

I have the same dilemma as well!

 

We also met early Jan. We practically text every day and meet 2-3 times a week in the first month, we share food, we met each other's friends, he stayed over twice, we hugged and kissed (but no other physical contact, I should have seen it coming), we are both off Grindr, we even planned for a holiday in my hometown.

 

Things change after CNY, we don't text or meet as often, I found out that he is back on Grindr (via a friend's profile), but we still go ahead with the holiday because it has already been booked. In the 3D2N trip, there was still no physical contact, finally I asked him what does he think of us progressing to the next level. He replied that he feels comfortable around me but he does not feel sexually active towards me (which is a deal breaker for me). He continues to say we are definitely 友达以上,恋人未满. He enjoys where we are now but isn't ready to commit, he thinks we should also meet other people in the meantime. 

 

After the talk, I'm ready to let him go. He texted me again after the trip, and wanted to catch up for lunch. What does this mean? Am I a float while he is out there finding someone better? My bestfriend advised me to draw the line and cut him loose but I just can't :( 

Tell him to fuck off.

if u dun sexually excite him, what does he want with you? As a 姐妹?

 

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