mid 30s... looks like what to you?

[ctglobal]

So 36 is a bit too early to be midlife, but noticing a lot of shifts/observations in the last 2 years or so, many of which caught me by surprise.

 

In no particular order:

1) straight friends/acquaintances disappear/vapourise/shapeshift into marriage, career, family, other countries .... and you see/hear less from them (if anything)

2) body suddenly discovers gravity 

3) food... nothing quite seems "right" all of a sudden (what you could eat before, you suddenly have trouble with; what you never thought you would eat, you find yourself seeking out)

4) somehow various supplements, creams, oils and such make it into regular usage when you never needed much of any of that before

5) would so happily trade something valuable for a good night sleep, or better still, a week of being comfortably comatose

6) patience for most things frivolous dwindles

7) patience for really stupid, banal, shallow, miserable, complaining, vain, vapid people dwindles even more

8) somehow all manner of life hacks, discounts, lifestyle tweaks, tips, cleverness seems amazingly appealing

9) you could cry yourself to sleep at night waiting to have just one good conversation that day that ACTUALLY stimulates you mentally

10) somehow you feel like you need a new grind/path/trajectory/interests --- but somehow the exact details as to WHAT that new direction is seem elusive

11) travelling becomes somewhat of a chore, but you somehow find you really want to do it just for escapism

12) the mobile phone in your hand is a poor substitute for real human interaction

13) the mobile phone in the hand of the person you are trying to have real human interaction with frustrates you still more

14) what once were the batshit crazy undertakings your superhuman 20-something self could conquer have now become this "OMG i am doing *WHAT*?!" sort of affair

15) just when you think you have seen the worst of humanity, well... donald trump....

16) you realise you know enough to know that the world is going to hell in a hand-basket, that you're stuck in it still, and still not entirely clever enough to know what to do about it in terms of self-preservation in the long term

17).... and wishing you know someone that was clever enough to tell you what to do

18) all those things you thought you would like/want to do/have done either somehow dont matter anymore, or you did them and you kinda think WTF was i thinking

19) ... yet you can't seem to think of anything better to do to replace them with?

20) sex becomes somehow intellectualised

21) the smell of a 20-something is intoxicating

22) you have absolutely zero. filter. on. your. thoughts.  and. verbalise.  AND others take notice and give you looks

23) the joke in your head didn't sound so amusing to everyone else in the room when you vocalised it

24) you kind of just want to sit back and watch social experiments play out rather than intervene, when you might have otherwise done so

25) dealing with poor management as either a noun or a verb leaves you with this slightly sickened feeling, and the dreadful sense that humanity is indeed devolving rapidly

26) your physique is neither here nor there

27) ...and life got so busy you kind of don't have time to make it more there if you wanted to

28) you would like to reconceptualise someone's selfie stick as the perfect weapon to affront their vanity

29) you would kind of like the idea of having a room full of people watch you perform some kind of sexual activity

30).... okay, not kind of like. very much like.

31) anything that has been in your life and remained there for a reasonable amount of time you start to see all sides of, and increasingly rapidly

32) ...which makes you see why many people get divorced, have meltdowns, run off to iceland, or otherwise lose their cookies

33) ...... and kind of makes you hope that's not in the cards for yourself

34) anything having to do with an onsen or a massage sounds pretty bloody good right now, and again tomorrow 

35) you have this craving to prune the unnecessary from life

36) .... and then you realise you are a stalk of bamboo already

37) dealing with family feels akin to a cross of cat herding, peacemaking, self-sacrifice, and at times an out-of-body experience

38) for god sake they made ghost in the shell into a movie with real actors.  didnt the anime come out like 2 years ago only... oh wait....

39) you roll your eyes so much they hurt, yet you still keep doing it

40) you appreciate that aircon is in many ways a double-edged sword, yet you somehow can live without it less and less

41) baking.  yes.  baking.

42) tumblr replaced xtube... and you cant quite figure out if that's a good thing, or a bad thing

 

What does your experience look like so far?

[abang]

Wait till you hit 40s..

The first sign of the coming of age is Presbyopia, 老花。

 

I discovered that I have lesser friends, more time by myself.

I rediscover the joy of solitude and doing things all by myself.

I start singing every line from songs of my then-youth..in my terms, anything Broadway or 60s,70s and 80s.

I cannot understand the pop culture of the present day - save Adele, Bruno Mars and Eason Chen.

 

Physically the weight went up and down, depending whether I'm conscious or not.

Sometimes not having a boyfriend means the dire need to reduce weight, to look better for the next one to come along.

Once that man is in the scene, dinners and dessert are a MUST and integral part of piling up the weight.

 

Mentally I have my own idiosyncrasy(ies)..

My life is so screwed and askewed to an angle that it takes time to be NORMAL again.

I am so set in my own ways of doing things that it becomes difficult to adapt to others - SELFISH me.

 

But hey, life is not so BLEAK..enjoy a slower pace in life...enjoy doing things singularly...

Just like Tiger Huang sings, It isn't that easy. 中年人的情歌。。爱没那么简单

 

我的中年写照： 

没那么简单 就能找到 聊得来的伴
尤其是在 看过了那么多的背叛
总是不安 只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪漫

没那么简单 就能去爱 别的全不看
变得实际 也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单 一久也习惯
不用担心 谁也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话 随便听一听 自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上 关上了手机 舒服窝在沙发里

相爱没有那么容易 每个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪 轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那么容易 才会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心 所以最开心 曾经
 

The official MV

 

The unofficial 卡拉OK version。。 sing with it make sure you have tissue paper around. 可能这就是人生吧！

 

 

[sman.sg]

Agree with all. And you discover you throw yourselve into work. Haha and yes tumblr. Solitude travels are actually ok. Haha but eating alone sucks.  

And yes massages are great to ease those knots and aches from exercise. 

[instantnoodles]

approaching 40 and perspectives have definitely changed with age.

love travelling much more

gym for fitness rather than looks

feeling the job crunch 

etc etc

 

[youngpunk]

best new post in recent times.

[ctglobal]

4 hours ago, youngpunk said:

best new post in recent times.

Thanks.  Feel free to add perspectives.  Really want to know more about what's going on for other guys.

 

[Creevie]

On 3/26/2017 at 2:26 PM, youngpunk said:

best new post in recent times.

Agree with you.

 

On 3/26/2017 at 10:55 AM, instantnoodles said:

approaching 40 and perspectives have definitely changed with age.

love travelling much more

gym for fitness rather than looks

feeling the job crunch 

etc etc

 

Yep, when you're still young, you can afford to abuse your health and be frivolous in your career life. Generally speaking, young gay need looks, old gay need money.

[thorzguy]

Late 30s, and....

 

1) Physical fitness level do drop, but still manage to pick it up, provided you do not stop for more than 2 weeks. Else it looks like a total restart all over again.

2) I still eat a lot, so much so that some of my friends ask "are you still having puberty?". Lol

3) Your list of friends went down, but hey..those who are with you, know you well. Who needs fair-weather friends anyway?

4) Focus more on my family (mom especially). I age, she also age.

5) Health is more important than anything, Without it, how to make more money?

6) Sipping more Pu Er Tea than a whole year of Vodka combined.

7) Asking why the youngsters behave in such a manner, when you suddenly realized - the 2 youngsters age added up to be your age. Generation gap perhaps?

8) No longer give a Fxxx to what others say, think about me. As long as my conscience is clear, do things above board, who cares?

9) I spend more time doing groceries for the family than shopping for new undies.

10) Why am I writing all these? Ah... STM - Short Term Memory prevails!

[SexySteps]

Well this was a depressing read.

But yeah mid 30s and

 

- i am feeling more antisocial and somewhat okay with it

- i have no drive to do anything productive

- always looking forward to my next escape to a country. 

- I still enjoy porn.

[ctglobal]

1 hour ago, SexySteps said:

Well this was a depressing read.

But yeah mid 30s and

 

- i am feeling more antisocial and somewhat okay with it

- i have no drive to do anything productive

- always looking forward to my next escape to a country. 

- I still enjoy porn.

yeah i think it started out as a bit depressing but i was going to come back and write the other stuff in a bit more balanced fashion (then life happened and here we are).  

 

I think there are a lot of benefits too in 30s like:

 

-finally getting finances a bit more settled and potential for greater earning power (provided people didn't fuck up in their 20s).

-having a greater sense of "wisdom" or perspective about a lot of life's happenings 

-greater autonomy (provided you're not the type to have your parents calling the shots your whole life...)

-greater ability to cut through BS and get on to what is important/needs to be done

-greater ability to synthesise information and make connections

-ability to understand and control emotions more of the time

-being a bit more fearless, assuming you've lived a little in teens and 20s and have some experiences to compare to

-capable of larger undertakings

-increased appetite for/management of risk

-more imaginative and better in bed (at least one should be!)

 

keep the list going ;0)

 

incidentally, have considered starting a Line group on the subject to make friends of similar backgrounds. if its of interest, PM me. 

[barocco80]

Going into mid 30's...

- Not a man but neither a boy

- Financially more stable, able to support the family while occasional Japanese buffet won't hurt the wallet

- Generally coffee over alcohol

- Having half the facebook contact vs the peak in 20's

- Holiday destination is not about where to/ buy what but with who/ how long

- Try to keep an active lifestyle until the elixir of youth is found

- More forgiving yet less patient at the same time

- Quality over quantity most of the time

- Sometimes you just have to let the rain pass as there's nothing you can do

- Keep looking for Mr Right... while the Mr Right is looking for his Mr Right

[ctglobal]

3 hours ago, barocco80 said:

Going into mid 30's...

- Not a man but neither a boy

- Financially more stable, able to support the family while occasional Japanese buffet won't hurt the wallet

- Generally coffee over alcohol

- Having half the facebook contact vs the peak in 20's

- Holiday destination is not about where to/ buy what but with who/ how long

- Try to keep an active lifestyle until the elixir of youth is found

- More forgiving yet less patient at the same time

- Quality over quantity most of the time

- Sometimes you just have to let the rain pass as there's nothing you can do

- Keep looking for Mr Right... while the Mr Right is looking for his Mr Right

 

haha... your last point... very apropos.... often think to myself how many people are doing some variation of that.  there was another thread on here touching on that and when to "settle" and what is acceptable in that sense.  

[Javenseb]

I am in my late 30s.. independent yet wish to dependent on Someone.. emotionally I shall say..

people say I can lie abt my age as I look much younger but the fact is 心老了... 

feel lonely at time..

wish to be in love but yet not easy to feel love.. 

maybe the time is over.

[jerseyboys]

.

Edited May 31, 2018 by jerseyboys
.

[ctglobal]

11 hours ago, jerseyboys said:

Thx @ctglobalfor kickstarting this discussion, when i was 30, my hormones headed downhill  so i persuaded an Endocrinologist in private practice to give me monthly injections of Testosterone. Since then my private parts has been resurrected & rescuscitated =) the only thing that irritates me is there is slight balding at the crown of my head, at my scalp. 

                                   
i love being in my 30s' because in work & in society, my sphere of influence is gtg bigger & one day when i am tasked with making high level decisions for the state, i will be in my late 30s' & i hope i will be an advocate & activist for gay rights...something that was not possible during my ignorant 20s'.
                                        
My parents are nearing retirement & next year (they are aware) i will be moving out...  I can't wait to be mid-30s coz apart from Boarding School...I have never lived on my own!!!  I know deep down... my Dad worries...Will me moving out & living alone be a step CLOSER to me finding a partner... or a step FURTHER by encouraging me to have ONS... well as i head nearer towards my 40s' i wanna prove my Dad wrong...
                       
The day i move out to stay on my own... that's the day i'll wear a Chastity belt, which can only be opened by my future partner...lol

ah... re the crown balding, testosterone will do that. but guessing having ample amounts of that may fix your chastity problem  hahaha

I am sure you will be fine without the parents around.

[Javenseb]

I been staying by myself since early 20.. now late 30s and I am doing fine.. u will be good

[Javenhope]

Just want to settle down

[Sammyt]

On 3/25/2017 at 2:14 PM, ctglobal said:

So 36 is a bit too early to be midlife, but noticing a lot of shifts/observations in the last 2 years or so, many of which caught me by surprise.

 

In no particular order:

1) straight friends/acquaintances disappear/vapourise/shapeshift into marriage, career, family, other countries .... and you see/hear less from them (if anything)

2) body suddenly discovers gravity 

3) food... nothing quite seems "right" all of a sudden (what you could eat before, you suddenly have trouble with; what you never thought you would eat, you find yourself seeking out)

4) somehow various supplements, creams, oils and such make it into regular usage when you never needed much of any of that before

5) would so happily trade something valuable for a good night sleep, or better still, a week of being comfortably comatose

6) patience for most things frivolous dwindles

7) patience for really stupid, banal, shallow, miserable, complaining, vain, vapid people dwindles even more

8) somehow all manner of life hacks, discounts, lifestyle tweaks, tips, cleverness seems amazingly appealing

9) you could cry yourself to sleep at night waiting to have just one good conversation that day that ACTUALLY stimulates you mentally

10) somehow you feel like you need a new grind/path/trajectory/interests --- but somehow the exact details as to WHAT that new direction is seem elusive

11) travelling becomes somewhat of a chore, but you somehow find you really want to do it just for escapism

12) the mobile phone in your hand is a poor substitute for real human interaction

13) the mobile phone in the hand of the person you are trying to have real human interaction with frustrates you still more

14) what once were the batshit crazy undertakings your superhuman 20-something self could conquer have now become this "OMG i am doing *WHAT*?!" sort of affair

15) just when you think you have seen the worst of humanity, well... donald trump....

16) you realise you know enough to know that the world is going to hell in a hand-basket, that you're stuck in it still, and still not entirely clever enough to know what to do about it in terms of self-preservation in the long term

17).... and wishing you know someone that was clever enough to tell you what to do

18) all those things you thought you would like/want to do/have done either somehow dont matter anymore, or you did them and you kinda think WTF was i thinking

19) ... yet you can't seem to think of anything better to do to replace them with?

20) sex becomes somehow intellectualised

21) the smell of a 20-something is intoxicating

22) you have absolutely zero. filter. on. your. thoughts.  and. verbalise.  AND others take notice and give you looks

23) the joke in your head didn't sound so amusing to everyone else in the room when you vocalised it

24) you kind of just want to sit back and watch social experiments play out rather than intervene, when you might have otherwise done so

25) dealing with poor management as either a noun or a verb leaves you with this slightly sickened feeling, and the dreadful sense that humanity is indeed devolving rapidly

26) your physique is neither here nor there

27) ...and life got so busy you kind of don't have time to make it more there if you wanted to

28) you would like to reconceptualise someone's selfie stick as the perfect weapon to affront their vanity

29) you would kind of like the idea of having a room full of people watch you perform some kind of sexual activity

30).... okay, not kind of like. very much like.

31) anything that has been in your life and remained there for a reasonable amount of time you start to see all sides of, and increasingly rapidly

32) ...which makes you see why many people get divorced, have meltdowns, run off to iceland, or otherwise lose their cookies

33) ...... and kind of makes you hope that's not in the cards for yourself

34) anything having to do with an onsen or a massage sounds pretty bloody good right now, and again tomorrow 

35) you have this craving to prune the unnecessary from life

36) .... and then you realise you are a stalk of bamboo already

37) dealing with family feels akin to a cross of cat herding, peacemaking, self-sacrifice, and at times an out-of-body experience

38) for god sake they made ghost in the shell into a movie with real actors.  didnt the anime come out like 2 years ago only... oh wait....

39) you roll your eyes so much they hurt, yet you still keep doing it

40) you appreciate that aircon is in many ways a double-edged sword, yet you somehow can live without it less and less

41) baking.  yes.  baking.

42) tumblr replaced xtube... and you cant quite figure out if that's a good thing, or a bad thing

 

What does your experience look like so far?

 

 

Late to this but spot on. Truly the best new post in a long while.

 

 

[topLTR_93]

LOL I am approaching my mid 20s and I am already feeling what you guys feel - except the financial stability part. Still in Uni lol. 

[bonekaz]

On 2017-3-26 at 2:14 AM, ctglobal said:

So 36 is a bit too early to be midlife, but noticing a lot of shifts/observations in the last 2 years or so, many of which caught me by surprise.

 

In no particular order:

1) straight friends/acquaintances disappear/vapourise/shapeshift into marriage, career, family, other countries .... and you see/hear less from them (if anything)

2) body suddenly discovers gravity 

3) food... nothing quite seems "right" all of a sudden (what you could eat before, you suddenly have trouble with; what you never thought you would eat, you find yourself seeking out)

4) somehow various supplements, creams, oils and such make it into regular usage when you never needed much of any of that before

5) would so happily trade something valuable for a good night sleep, or better still, a week of being comfortably comatose

6) patience for most things frivolous dwindles

7) patience for really stupid, banal, shallow, miserable, complaining, vain, vapid people dwindles even more

8) somehow all manner of life hacks, discounts, lifestyle tweaks, tips, cleverness seems amazingly appealing

9) you could cry yourself to sleep at night waiting to have just one good conversation that day that ACTUALLY stimulates you mentally

10) somehow you feel like you need a new grind/path/trajectory/interests --- but somehow the exact details as to WHAT that new direction is seem elusive

11) travelling becomes somewhat of a chore, but you somehow find you really want to do it just for escapism

12) the mobile phone in your hand is a poor substitute for real human interaction

13) the mobile phone in the hand of the person you are trying to have real human interaction with frustrates you still more

14) what once were the batshit crazy undertakings your superhuman 20-something self could conquer have now become this "OMG i am doing *WHAT*?!" sort of affair

15) just when you think you have seen the worst of humanity, well... donald trump....

16) you realise you know enough to know that the world is going to hell in a hand-basket, that you're stuck in it still, and still not entirely clever enough to know what to do about it in terms of self-preservation in the long term

17).... and wishing you know someone that was clever enough to tell you what to do

18) all those things you thought you would like/want to do/have done either somehow dont matter anymore, or you did them and you kinda think WTF was i thinking

19) ... yet you can't seem to think of anything better to do to replace them with?

20) sex becomes somehow intellectualised

21) the smell of a 20-something is intoxicating

22) you have absolutely zero. filter. on. your. thoughts.  and. verbalise.  AND others take notice and give you looks

23) the joke in your head didn't sound so amusing to everyone else in the room when you vocalised it

24) you kind of just want to sit back and watch social experiments play out rather than intervene, when you might have otherwise done so

25) dealing with poor management as either a noun or a verb leaves you with this slightly sickened feeling, and the dreadful sense that humanity is indeed devolving rapidly

26) your physique is neither here nor there

27) ...and life got so busy you kind of don't have time to make it more there if you wanted to

28) you would like to reconceptualise someone's selfie stick as the perfect weapon to affront their vanity

29) you would kind of like the idea of having a room full of people watch you perform some kind of sexual activity

30).... okay, not kind of like. very much like.

31) anything that has been in your life and remained there for a reasonable amount of time you start to see all sides of, and increasingly rapidly

32) ...which makes you see why many people get divorced, have meltdowns, run off to iceland, or otherwise lose their cookies

33) ...... and kind of makes you hope that's not in the cards for yourself

34) anything having to do with an onsen or a massage sounds pretty bloody good right now, and again tomorrow 

35) you have this craving to prune the unnecessary from life

36) .... and then you realise you are a stalk of bamboo already

37) dealing with family feels akin to a cross of cat herding, peacemaking, self-sacrifice, and at times an out-of-body experience

38) for god sake they made ghost in the shell into a movie with real actors.  didnt the anime come out like 2 years ago only... oh wait....

39) you roll your eyes so much they hurt, yet you still keep doing it

40) you appreciate that aircon is in many ways a double-edged sword, yet you somehow can live without it less and less

41) baking.  yes.  baking.

42) tumblr replaced xtube... and you cant quite figure out if that's a good thing, or a bad thing

 

What does your experience look like so far?

 

Good read. And though I'm only turning 26, I can definitely relate to most, if not all, things on this list. I'm not gonna go into the whole age debate because what's the point. Sometimes it feels like someone's playing a practical joke on you - you laugh in good fun at first, but just wish for everything to stop.

[ctglobal]

On 5/22/2017 at 0:16 AM, Sammyt said:

 

 

Late to this but spot on. Truly the best new post in a long while.

 

 

 

Thanks for your feedback.  Curious though, to refine and perhaps make more similar posts... what do you relate to most about it or enjoy vs. other posts?

 

 

On 5/22/2017 at 0:58 AM, topLTR_93 said:

LOL I am approaching my mid 20s and I am already feeling what you guys feel - except the financial stability part. Still in Uni lol. 

 

Cool, I'm wondering what is similar from your experience so far-- care to elaborate?

 

 

On 5/23/2017 at 10:55 PM, bonekaz said:

 

Good read. And though I'm only turning 26, I can definitely relate to most, if not all, things on this list. I'm not gonna go into the whole age debate because what's the point. Sometimes it feels like someone's playing a practical joke on you - you laugh in good fun at first, but just wish for everything to stop.

 

Thanks for the kind words :).

 

So in a sense what you're saying is that ageing is a"universal" prank of sorts?

 

Totally know what the "wish for everything to stop" feels like... many times daily! 

Edited May 25, 2017 by ctglobal

[chumkyallinone]

-

Edited June 29, 2017 by chumkyallinone

[xavier ian]

On 2017-4-20 at 1:49 AM, ctglobal said:

 

haha... your last point... very apropos.... often think to myself how many people are doing some variation of that.  there was another thread on here touching on that and when to "settle" and what is acceptable in that sense.  

 

"- Keep looking for Mr Right... while the Mr Right is looking for his Mr Right"

 

Can relate this so well. Thought I found my Mr Right ended up I am the Mr Wrong and he is looking for his Mr Right. Interesting world!

[kingbitch]

Can't add too much, everything I want to say has been said here

 

I'm wondering how my mindset may change entering my 40s though. I might look back and say 'damn I was a prick ten years ago'.

[ctglobal]

11 minutes ago, kingbitch said:

Can't add too much, everything I want to say has been said here

 

I'm wondering how my mindset may change entering my 40s though. I might look back and say 'damn I was a prick ten years ago'.

 

Why do you say that?

[kingbitch]

2 hours ago, ctglobal said:

 

Why do you say that?

 

At many phases in life, I often look back and laugh/shudder at the silly things I thought and did. And I am sure there are things I am doing now that I wouldn't have done when I am older (and hopefully wiser)... just that I don't know what.

 

How about yourself? And did you set up that LINE chat you were keen in?

Edited May 25, 2017 by kingbitch

[ctglobal]

Just came across this quote from Brene Brown:

“It’s okay to be afraid. You don’t have to be so scary when you’re scared. . . . The 30s are so exhausting. It’s the age of perfecting, proving, pretending.”

[benedict5856]

my life in my 30s is like i am in my 20s. My colleagues then are averagely 10 years younger than me, and they ALL thought i am around their age. I got baby looks then.

 

Now, i am in my 40s...... sigh. i start to see things different, live differently....

 

Perhaps i can get small happiness when ppl guess my age wrongly, but ....

 

1) old flowery eyes and "avoid light' (shan guang). Hp change to big fonts. Driving at night always cause me headache, giddy.

 

2) Body start to here pain there pain. Do small little thing, pain.

 

3) Diabetes start to come in (i suspect so, got ants in my urine)

 

4) No energy to go gym, or do anything.

 

5) Spend most of my time eating. seafood, crabs, prawns, buffet. Can eat how much, just eat. Sadly can't eat much. Appetite not as before. 

 

6) Cut down unhealthy food. No coke

 

7) Stop chasing branded stuff. When u don't have it, u wanted it. When u have one, u wanna 2. Now, none of those attract me. If thing spoil, then buy. Won't buy for the sake of buying. Anyway, its so common to see kids carrying branded. LV is like for kids nowadays.

[darkflame]

Some stuff I have experienced so far.

 

- carrying a stress ball around to combat the toughness of everyday life

- pinch myself more when I talk to people so that I don't get too anxious in the chat

- sitting at one corner in my room to relax and combat any stresses for the day

- putting angry feelings in a book, then take some beer and sleep

- combating OCD, checking stuff multiple times though i can't help it

- having poor memories, forgot to lock my house gate until i came home

[Enthuz]

just hit 36 this year.

settled down for the most part, so the finding mr right parts stand out less to me.

mostly the same observations, but especially:

- libido wanes a bit--to my frustration

- goldfish memory--have to write things down or use the calendar more actively else risk forgetting, even mid-conversation!

- feel less active physically--even though the desire is to do more

- value actual human interaction much more than relying on texts

- still watch porn from time to time for some... inspiration

- guys in 20s appear more intoxicating; not as enticed by teens as much but that might be personal preference

- will take an engaging, in-depth conversation any day

[Guest deeedison]

Is travelling really a necessity?

[ctglobal]

2 minutes ago, deeedison said:

Is travelling really a necessity?

i find it helps one from going completely nuts in SG, so i would say yes.... hahah  brain breaks are healthy.

but it also somehow feels like more of a chore to do it at the same time.

Edited June 11, 2017 by ctglobal

[Guest deeedison]

1 minute ago, ctglobal said:

i find it helps one from going completely nuts in SG, so i would say yes.... hahah  brain breaks are healthy.

but it also somehow feels like more of a chore to do it at the same time.

I find it tiring to travel. Better to have a long sleep for  break. Another thing is money.

[ctglobal]

Just now, deeedison said:

I find it tiring to travel. Better to have a long sleep for  break. Another thing is money.

you have a point about the sleep thing.  guess it depends on the destination to travel and what you do there also.  longer haul less of interest unless staying for a whilleeeeeeee.

[Guest deeedison]

Just now, ctglobal said:

you have a point about the sleep thing.  guess it depends on the destination to travel and what you do there also.  longer haul less of interest unless staying for a whilleeeeeeee.

Yeah im thinking the same thing if u travel to country or place better to stay for a long time rather than be there for 3 days and u need to go around the tourist spots squezzing time. I say go there and just enjoy and dont think of time.. 

[Javenhope]

Late 30s professional Chinese ....

think I want to really settle down with someone.. yet not easy..

 

only very young or older guy walk to me...

 

just want to seek non chub clean look local for a ltr... 

[Sammyt]

On 5/23/2017 at 9:58 PM, ctglobal said:

 

Thanks for your feedback.  Curious though, to refine and perhaps make more similar posts... what do you relate to most about it or enjoy vs. other posts?

 

Sorry for the super late reply. I don't often log on.

 

Everything about your original post rings true.

 

The weird thing is, I still feel 18, or 23, or 27... except when I talk to real 18-, 23- or 27-year-olds, which is when I realise how much I've moved on. Still fall prey to the same weaknesses (impulse purchases, flashes of self-doubt, laziness) but modified by experience - I've learned (mostly) to wait/ fake/ force myself through stuff. 

[bailey]

40s came with the reckless surrender to sinful food => tummy => sad => less energy => sleep more => less exercise => wrinkles/flab =>  forever alone => no sex

oh, and memory issues, which means there are other worse things I should have listed but i've forgotten what they are

[Guest 72%dark]

On 26/03/2017 at 2:14 AM, ctglobal said:

So 36 is a bit too early to be midlife, but noticing a lot of shifts/observations in the last 2 years or so, many of which caught me by surprise.

 

In no particular order:

1) straight friends/acquaintances disappear/vapourise/shapeshift into marriage, career, family, other countries .... and you see/hear less from them (if anything)

2) body suddenly discovers gravity 

3) food... nothing quite seems "right" all of a sudden (what you could eat before, you suddenly have trouble with; what you never thought you would eat, you find yourself seeking out)

4) somehow various supplements, creams, oils and such make it into regular usage when you never needed much of any of that before

5) would so happily trade something valuable for a good night sleep, or better still, a week of being comfortably comatose

6) patience for most things frivolous dwindles

7) patience for really stupid, banal, shallow, miserable, complaining, vain, vapid people dwindles even more

8) somehow all manner of life hacks, discounts, lifestyle tweaks, tips, cleverness seems amazingly appealing

9) you could cry yourself to sleep at night waiting to have just one good conversation that day that ACTUALLY stimulates you mentally

10) somehow you feel like you need a new grind/path/trajectory/interests --- but somehow the exact details as to WHAT that new direction is seem elusive

11) travelling becomes somewhat of a chore, but you somehow find you really want to do it just for escapism

12) the mobile phone in your hand is a poor substitute for real human interaction

13) the mobile phone in the hand of the person you are trying to have real human interaction with frustrates you still more

14) what once were the batshit crazy undertakings your superhuman 20-something self could conquer have now become this "OMG i am doing *WHAT*?!" sort of affair

15) just when you think you have seen the worst of humanity, well... donald trump....

16) you realise you know enough to know that the world is going to hell in a hand-basket, that you're stuck in it still, and still not entirely clever enough to know what to do about it in terms of self-preservation in the long term

17).... and wishing you know someone that was clever enough to tell you what to do

18) all those things you thought you would like/want to do/have done either somehow dont matter anymore, or you did them and you kinda think WTF was i thinking

19) ... yet you can't seem to think of anything better to do to replace them with?

20) sex becomes somehow intellectualised

21) the smell of a 20-something is intoxicating

22) you have absolutely zero. filter. on. your. thoughts.  and. verbalise.  AND others take notice and give you looks

23) the joke in your head didn't sound so amusing to everyone else in the room when you vocalised it

24) you kind of just want to sit back and watch social experiments play out rather than intervene, when you might have otherwise done so

25) dealing with poor management as either a noun or a verb leaves you with this slightly sickened feeling, and the dreadful sense that humanity is indeed devolving rapidly

26) your physique is neither here nor there

27) ...and life got so busy you kind of don't have time to make it more there if you wanted to

28) you would like to reconceptualise someone's selfie stick as the perfect weapon to affront their vanity

29) you would kind of like the idea of having a room full of people watch you perform some kind of sexual activity

30).... okay, not kind of like. very much like.

31) anything that has been in your life and remained there for a reasonable amount of time you start to see all sides of, and increasingly rapidly

32) ...which makes you see why many people get divorced, have meltdowns, run off to iceland, or otherwise lose their cookies

33) ...... and kind of makes you hope that's not in the cards for yourself

34) anything having to do with an onsen or a massage sounds pretty bloody good right now, and again tomorrow 

35) you have this craving to prune the unnecessary from life

36) .... and then you realise you are a stalk of bamboo already

37) dealing with family feels akin to a cross of cat herding, peacemaking, self-sacrifice, and at times an out-of-body experience

38) for god sake they made ghost in the shell into a movie with real actors.  didnt the anime come out like 2 years ago only... oh wait....

39) you roll your eyes so much they hurt, yet you still keep doing it

40) you appreciate that aircon is in many ways a double-edged sword, yet you somehow can live without it less and less

41) baking.  yes.  baking.

42) tumblr replaced xtube... and you cant quite figure out if that's a good thing, or a bad thing

 

What does your experience look like so far?

 

Thanks for writing this, it’s indeed one of the best posts in a long time. 

 

Sadly though, none of the items on your list I could truly relate to. I suspect your experience is relevant for someone on a more conventional life trajectory and of a particular socioeconomic bracket. For those people like me who’ve screwed up their lives, it doesn’t look anything like this.

 

About the only thing I can say about having reached this age is that I’m mellower, more forgiving of certain things I would have objected to when younger, more willing to let certain things go, more apathetic, much less interested in material possessions, and I like to think I have a slightly clearer and more sober understanding of the world now. And when I see the youth of today I feel a pang of envy that they still have so much promise and their lives ahead of them.

[Boydsg]

For me, I welcome age with open arms. As I aged, I 

 

1) am confident and comfortable with myself 

2) become a better person (learned thru my mistakes) 

3) achieved financial freedom

4) realized what's important and what's not

5) made peace with my flaws

6) comfortable being on my own (of course, not ideal situation) 

 

Unfortunately, as someone becomes more learned, experienced and matured, the trade offs are either health, vision, physical appearance and/or friendships. But just got to view it as "glass half full" (hopefully I can sustain my positivity perpetually though... Lol)

[silverguy]

..

Edited January 13, 2018 by silverguy
.

[sayfirst]

On 13/01/2018 at 12:54 AM, 72%dark said:

 

Thanks for writing this, it’s indeed one of the best posts in a long time. 

 

Sadly though, none of the items on your list I could truly relate to. I suspect your experience is relevant for someone on a more conventional life trajectory and of a particular socioeconomic bracket. For those people like me who’ve screwed up their lives, it doesn’t look anything like this.

 

About the only thing I can say about having reached this age is that I’m mellower, more forgiving of certain things I would have objected to when younger, more willing to let certain things go, more apathetic, much less interested in material possessions, and I like to think I have a slightly clearer and more sober understanding of the world now. And when I see the youth of today I feel a pang of envy that they still have so much promise and their lives ahead of them.

 

If I could emoji hug your comment I would. 

[LeanMature]

On 13/01/2018 at 8:18 AM, Boydsg said:

For me, I welcome age with open arms. As I aged, I 

 

1) am confident and comfortable with myself 

2) become a better person (learned thru my mistakes) 

3) achieved financial freedom

4) realized what's important and what's not

5) made peace with my flaws

6) comfortable being on my own (of course, not ideal situation) 

 

Unfortunately, as someone becomes more learned, experienced and matured, the trade offs are either health, vision, physical appearance and/or friendships. But just got to view it as "glass half full" (hopefully I can sustain my positivity perpetually though... Lol)

 

Last but not least, being less choosy with who you want to have sex with.  

[ctglobal]

On 1/13/2018 at 12:54 AM, 72%dark said:

 

Thanks for writing this, it’s indeed one of the best posts in a long time. 

 

Sadly though, none of the items on your list I could truly relate to. I suspect your experience is relevant for someone on a more conventional life trajectory and of a particular socioeconomic bracket. For those people like me who’ve screwed up their lives, it doesn’t look anything like this.

 

About the only thing I can say about having reached this age is that I’m mellower, more forgiving of certain things I would have objected to when younger, more willing to let certain things go, more apathetic, much less interested in material possessions, and I like to think I have a slightly clearer and more sober understanding of the world now. And when I see the youth of today I feel a pang of envy that they still have so much promise and their lives ahead of them.

tell me more about your experience and your life journey if you don't mind?  i would like to learn more.

[ctglobal]

On 1/13/2018 at 8:18 AM, Boydsg said:

For me, I welcome age with open arms. As I aged, I 

 

1) am confident and comfortable with myself 

2) become a better person (learned thru my mistakes) 

3) achieved financial freedom

4) realized what's important and what's not

5) made peace with my flaws

6) comfortable being on my own (of course, not ideal situation) 

 

Unfortunately, as someone becomes more learned, experienced and matured, the trade offs are either health, vision, physical appearance and/or friendships. But just got to view it as "glass half full" (hopefully I can sustain my positivity perpetually though... Lol)

 

I totally relate to 1,2,4, and 6 (for the most part)... trying to nail down 3 (not bad but could always be better), and 5... well... hahahah.... probably working on that one til the grave hahahah

 

thanks for replying!

[ctglobal]

7 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

Last but not least, being less choosy with who you want to have sex with.  

hmm... weird thing is i am now finding myself both less active and more choosy cos lord bad sex is terrible waste o' time man...

[Guest 72%dark]

On 18/01/2018 at 9:15 PM, ctglobal said:

tell me more about your experience and your life journey if you don't mind?  i would like to learn more.

 

Perhaps it would be worth getting into if there’s reason to believe that there are others who’ve had a life path like mine. But further thought and the overwhelming similarity of the responses on this thread suggest to me otherwise. More likely it’s just me being a freak. So I apologize and retract my comment on your original post. (It was fun reading, at any rate!)

[derryfawne]

Starting to hit late 20s and already feel so much changes in perspective. Can't imagine when I come to 30s, 40s and beyond.

[ctglobal]

8 hours ago, 72%dark said:

 

Perhaps it would be worth getting into if there’s reason to believe that there are others who’ve had a life path like mine. But further thought and the overwhelming similarity of the responses on this thread suggest to me otherwise. More likely it’s just me being a freak. So I apologize and retract my comment on your original post. (It was fun reading, at any rate!)

actually, i think what was after was the multitude of experiences people have, not to apply judgement of what was "normal" or who was "freak" (as for the latter, i feel myself one in many respects trust me.  please feel free to share if you like, even if privately.  no wrong answer here and anyone who trolls can get fucked.

[ctglobal]

6 hours ago, derryfawne said:

Starting to hit late 20s and already feel so much changes in perspective. Can't imagine when I come to 30s, 40s and beyond.

tell me about that too? what changes have happened for you?