Befriending Filipinos

[pittsburgh]

Hi, I am a Singaporean and I make friends with people from different places, etc. Malaysians, Burmese, Europeans. Gay filipinos on the other hand seem to be quite a challenge for me after interacting with them online or in public. Yes, they smile at you, exchange eye contact, and share the usual details of where they live and what they do (Some have been here for more than a decade). But when you probe further into their gay life or initiate bodily contact, they close up and avoid you. I wonder if it has anything to do with their staunch Catholicism where many prefer to find the Right One and share intimacy only after affirming a proper relationship. Anyone can share some insights or past experiences that happened to them in Singapore?

[Hemnes]

I don't mean to offend anyone of that race but.. I've never had good experiences befriending or knowing any one of them in my life. They are friendly and try to be nice as possible upfront but soon as you get to know them more or work with them things get ugly and it really sucks because all of them I met in my life all go down the same drain. To the point it's predictable how long the interaction will last and how long will it take before they stab you in the back.

 

Maybe the reason they avoid you is because they want don't want you to think that you are their "right one"? Sometimes they just don't want to give off the wrong signals and being the prideful people most of them are they'd rather contract and close up.

 

or maybe they're just waiting for their ultimate Ang moh boypriend.

[Guest willing]

3 minutes ago, Hemnes said:

I don't mean to offend anyone of that race but.. I've never had good experiences befriending or knowing any one of them in my life. They are friendly and try to be nice as possible upfront but soon as you get to know them more or work with them things get ugly and it really sucks because all of them I met in my life all go down the same drain. To the point it's predictable how long the interaction will last and how long will it take before they stab you in the back.

 

Maybe the reason they avoid you is because they want don't want you to think that you are their "right one"? Sometimes they just don't want to give off the wrong signals and being the prideful people most of them are they'd rather contract and close up.

 

or maybe they're just waiting for their ultimate Ang moh boypriend.

Your experience is the same like mine. Once I get to know them, they can be two face about everything and trust is a big issue with them. At first I thought its probably just one of the guys that i had a problem with but subsequently i had the same issue with another lady and soon i realise they seem to have a pattern of arguing and back stabbing when they are not happy with you...

[Mroneonline]

Feels like my manager. Haha. She's leaving at the end of the month and everyone is rejoicing!

[Andrewww]

I see & understand where you are coming from. How many Filipinos you've experienced "they closed up and avoid you"?

[pittsburgh]

2 minutes ago, Andrewww said:

I see & understand where you are coming from. How many Filipinos you've experienced "they closed up and avoid you"?

Not that I am very attractive, but just a handful over the past few years on apps and in person.

[fbttop]

Really want to hear more experiences.. This is interesting as not much to not sterotype, yes somehow they tend to close up once u have reach beyond the poker face.  

[Andrewww]

1 minute ago, fbttop said:

Really want to hear more experiences.. This is interesting as not much to not sterotype, yes somehow they tend to close up once u have reach beyond the poker face.  

I'm partly filipino myself and partly I agree.  Let's not stereotype though...but I'm sure some can be your friends too.  

[loacker]

1 hour ago, Hemnes said:

I don't mean to offend anyone of that race but.. I've never had good experiences befriending or knowing any one of them in my life. They are friendly and try to be nice as possible upfront but soon as you get to know them more or work with them things get ugly and it really sucks because all of them I met in my life all go down the same drain. To the point it's predictable how long the interaction will last and how long will it take before they stab you in the back.

 

Maybe the reason they avoid you is because they want don't want you to think that you are their "right one"? Sometimes they just don't want to give off the wrong signals and being the prideful people most of them are they'd rather contract and close up.

 

or maybe they're just waiting for their ultimate Ang moh boypriend.

couldn't agree wit u more..

a few of my working colleague are from Philipines too..and like what u mentioned, in front of u you they can b appear to be very friendly, very close to u and easy going, but at the back there is another evil side of them. so far i dun problems work wit indians, indonesian or PRC, but Philipines i do draw a border in between us..

[Guest Local product]

Generally speaking, they have no lack of gay pinoy in their circle, so they probably try to avoid foreigners whom they feel may not prosper in relationship due to differ in nationality.  Just like many Singaporeans think that long distance relationship may not work in the long run.  If pinoy convert to Singaporean, they probably prefer Singaporeans rather than their own kind.   I know of pinoy who find their own people  distasteful and thus tried to avoid associating with their own nationality.   As in all relationship, it all boils down to the best fit (long term, retirement, housing, end days...etc). instead of just going  after one nationality.  Some people prefer Japanese, korean, Caucasian,  PRC, Arabian, Mexican...etc, but objectively speaking, will such relationship work out in the longer term?  I personally feel that foreigners are good for short term friendship (sex probably) and they will leave when time for them to retire in their own land.  They can be friend and I have no doubt many people have a good nature and good heart. Relationship-wise, it may be inconvenient rather than whether they are good or bad, unless you plan to migrate with them and stay somewhere else other than Singapore.  

[wiwiwi]

The rule is, never have them to meet another fellow countrymen at a workplace. Because, within a month or so, a little Filipino empire will be formed. And from that day on, they wouldn't want to know who you are or what's your position in the office; because they feel they are already in they 'homeland' and so they don't need anyone else besides their own circle. Trust me. 

[fbttop]

Simply said their friendzone is of different spectrum than other countries. On top of that pinoys have close communities with their religion as well, once u get too uncomfortable with their discreetness in order to substain their anti gay religion. Things get difficult as well. Gay pinoys in their province are very discreet in general.

[fbttop]

3 minutes ago, wiwiwi said:

The rule is, never have them to meet another fellow countrymen at a workplace. Because, within a month or so, a little Filipino empire will be formed. And from that day on, they wouldn't want to know who you are or what's your position in the office; because they feel they are already in they 'homeland' and so they don't need anyone else besides their own circle. Trust me. 

 

Yes very true , very much like Koreans n Japanese in general

[CKW]

I have met a few cute and hot Pinoy guys who wanted to have fun with me in the swimming pool changing room  

They're usually very open-minded, and some of them are really shy in a cute way  

 

When I talk to them, it surprised me how many of them have girlfriends back in the Philippines.

 

But I guess I can't generalise Pinoy men. There will be nice ones, and there will be bad ones, just like in every race. But on the whole, they are more fun-loving and adventurous (sex-wise  ) than our local guys.

 

 

Anyway, fast forward to 1:06:40 / 66:40 in the video below. The cop (the taller guy) forces the other guy to strip in front of him. Damn hot!!!  

 

 

Edited June 15, 2017 by CKW

[CKW]

Check out this Pinoy hunk pageant!

 

One of the ways they determine the winner is for each hunk to get stickers stuck on their bodies by members of the audience (who are mostly guys!! ). The more stickers they get, it means the more popular they are. 

 

You can see the hunk at 0:20 looking quite uncomfortable about it.   

 

The other clips on the same channel show them backstage. 

 

Pretty hot, some of these Pinoy guys!!

 

[Lester01]

So sad to hear those experiences from you guys. It's quite unfortunate that you've met those that are like that. As a Filipino myself, I know Filipinos who are and are not like that as well.

[wiwiwi]

19 minutes ago, Lester01 said:

So sad to hear those experiences from you guys. It's quite unfortunate that you've met those that are like that. As a Filipino myself, I know Filipinos who are and are not like that as well.

Hey Lester01, I know i was being nasty with my comments about the Filipinos in general. I totally agree, there's always more good ones than the rotten eggs. My sincere apologies sir. 

[Lester01]

3 minutes ago, wiwiwi said:

Hey Lester01, I know i was being nasty with my comments about the Filipinos in general. I totally agree, there's always more good ones than the rotten eggs. My sincere apologies sir. 

No problem buddy. You just based it on your experience and I know you dont want it to be offensive. Hopefully you'll find Filipinos who will change those awful experiences. Cheers! 

[LeanMature]

Filipinos are very homogenous and have difficulty working with other races.  Even among themselves,  those from the central Philippines would group together and apart from those staying in Luzon or Mindanao.  

 

In short, they can only be colleagues and hi-bye friends.  Close friends are within their own circle.  They call themselves "kabayans".

[patisoy]

Being a filipino myself, I also avoid and try to dissociate myself from most pinoys here in SG. I've been here for more than 10 years but I can only count with 1 hand my pinoy friends who are honest and truthful.

 

One bad characteristic for most pinoys is they like to compete and compare themselves with others. Topics in most conversations revolve around who's got the best job, who's got the biggest salary, who has the most countries travelled, who's got the best gadget, etc. All about material things. Being in the company of these types of pinoy brings much stress and discontentment.

 

Some pinoys are also pretentious and hypocrites. They're very good at projecting or faking a different personality to conceal their real sentiments about you.

 

Bottom line - just be careful!

[CKW]

7 minutes ago, patisoy said:

One bad characteristic for most pinoys is they like to compete and compare themselves with others. Topics in most conversations revolve around who's got the best job, who's got the biggest salary, who has the most countries travelled, who's got the best gadget, etc. All about material things. Being in the company of these types of pinoy brings much stress and discontentment.

 

Sounds a lot like how a lot of the local guys in my platoon behave when we meet during ICT  

 

 

But thanks for your honest sharing, bro!

[CKW]

One of my previous companies (in S'pore) had a alot of Filipinos, and so I picked up a thing or two about working and interacting with them.

 

I realise that a lot of them have a complex of being looked down upon in S'pore, due to the different socio-economic characteristics of both countries. So as long as you treat them with basic respect and courtesy, they will be very grateful and will repay you in what ways they can. 

 

The problem is a lot of S'poreans, esp. the Chinese, talk down to Filipinos, whether consciously or unconsciously. This worsens the divide between them and the other S'poreans, and it reinforces the idea to them that S'poreans despise them. So they will cling even closer to their community and avoid mixing with local S'poreans.

 

If you make some effort to learn their culture, wish them during their festivals, and use a few Tagalog words in your conversation with them, you'll find that they're a great crowd to be with.

 

In my years working with them, I have found them to be excellent team-players and to be very accommodating.

 

And rest assured that the one or two nasty Filipinos are also generally not well-liked by their own community  

 

Edited June 15, 2017 by CKW

[Guest Guest1]

So far, this has to be the most polite and honest discussion to now that I have seen in BW for a while.

 

Being such a racial and explosive topic of discussion everyone have voiced their opinion in a polite and well thought response.

 

I guess its just a matter of time before some joker and come and start some abusive comments. 

[Sportsext]

I beg to differ. i believe it is not about the race. It is how you treat people and kill your toxic ego. We are no better than anyone else regardless of AGE, rank, sexuality, race, ethnicity, religious preference or any characteristics.  Treat each other well and please Grow UP! 

[tomcat]

I have pinoys as colleagues, and some as friends. My partner has also employed pinoys in his work.

 

Socially, I find they are friendly, but there is definitely a clique mentality. I do like when they look out for each other, against others who might bully them, they stick together and protect one another. 

 

But a few times I even see and hear them gossiping about me right in front of me, whether a man like me who is not attached is a gay or "bakla". The word bakla was tossed around about 30 times, and they were discussing me in tagalog with full smiles on their faces, as if they were discussing the weather. To this, I find that Pinoys can be two-faced and overly confident that their language is completely undecipherable.

The only reason why I understood what was being said, is because I have some Pinoy friends myself. And even within their inner circles, there are hierarchies, and "yuck, omg, I can tell she is from this province" or "omg, back home I would never be friends with him/her. but oh well, global community, so global citizens!"

 

So just take it with a pinch of salt, dont take it to heart. I do find them very entertaining and good fun to be around, but not people I can hold as super close friends, because something in my intuition feels they cannot be trusted. There is also something calculating behind the smiles. 

That said, I have been invited to some parties where there is a lot of drinking, the guys can get quite touchy, especially when they are drunk, maybe horny, and think they have got chance with you. And only much later, I find out they are attached or married.

[soybin]

.

Edited June 16, 2017 by soybin

[CKW]

3 minutes ago, soybin said:

 

sad but true. i'm a filipino living in Singapore for 7 years now. I only have few filipino friends here - and most of my friends are locals. it's very difficult and sometimes embarrassing  to be with other gay filipinos who are already in here singapore. how i wish i can tell them to behave..

on behalf of all of them, sorry. but pls no stereotyping here.. 

 

Awww . . . no need to apologise, bro  

But thank you.

 

(There are also a lot of S'poreans who behave like jerks towards Filipinos. I have witnessed it many times.)

[CKW]

15 minutes ago, tomcat said:

 they were discussing me in tagalog with full smiles on their faces, as if they were discussing the weather. To this, I find that Pinoys can be two-faced and overly confident that their language is completely undecipherable.

 

There was one female ex-colleague from India who did that to me before i.e. complained about me to another girl from India, right in front of me, in Tamil or Malayalam.

 

She thought that I didn't know but although I couldn't speak their language, I could tell very clearly from her bitchy tone and facial expression that she was grumbling about me as earlier she had been unhappy with me over a very trivial matter.

Edited June 15, 2017 by CKW

[tomcat]

5 minutes ago, CKW said:

 

There was one female ex-colleague from India who did that to me before i.e. complained about me to another girl from India, right in front of me, in Tamil or Malayalam.

 

She thought that I didn't know but although I couldn't speak their language, I could tell very clearly from her bitchy tone and facial expression that she was grumbling about me as earlier she had been unhappy with me over a very trivial matter.

Oh no...at least, you had the benefit of tone & facial expressions. And maybe she was just venting or complaining, which I guess she has a right to do.

But gossiping, especially doing it right in front of the subject, is a kind of audacity I don't see very often. So I was very amused, feel like this only happen in comedy movies, haha. Half way, I even smile back at them, and they smiled back and then went back to discussing me with smiles and laughter.

 

I was wondering if maybe I should just say something back in Tagalog and shock them. But I was also more curious to hear what they had to say, haha!  Like I said, I don't take it to heart.

 

And two out of the group of five already left, but I am still good colleagues with the rest today, and touched they always buy snacks back from their trips back home. Maybe I am their favourite "bakla" in the office, who knows!  

 

[tomcat]

22 minutes ago, soybin said:

culture..

 

Yeah, no need to apologise and censor lah. Actually we are all adults here, I think all comments are valid. The nonsense ones, just ignore. haha. Hope Singapore continues to serve you well, we can't go far without our counterparts from other countries in our workplace and society.

[TwoChnBTMs]

its individual...i have many filipinosfriends, they are nice

[Lester01]

1 hour ago, tomcat said:

I have pinoys as colleagues, and some as friends. My partner has also employed pinoys in his work.

 

Socially, I find they are friendly, but there is definitely a clique mentality. I do like when they look out for each other, against others who might bully them, they stick together and protect one another. 

 

But a few times I even see and hear them gossiping about me right in front of me, whether a man like me who is not attached is a gay or "bakla". The word bakla was tossed around about 30 times, and they were discussing me in tagalog with full smiles on their faces, as if they were discussing the weather. To this, I find that Pinoys can be two-faced and overly confident that their language is completely undecipherable.

The only reason why I understood what was being said, is because I have some Pinoy friends myself. And even within their inner circles, there are hierarchies, and "yuck, omg, I can tell she is from this province" or "omg, back home I would never be friends with him/her. but oh well, global community, so global citizens!"

 

So just take it with a pinch of salt, dont take it to heart. I do find them very entertaining and good fun to be around, but not people I can hold as super close friends, because something in my intuition feels they cannot be trusted. There is also something calculating behind the smiles. 

That said, I have been invited to some parties where there is a lot of drinking, the guys can get quite touchy, especially when they are drunk, maybe horny, and think they have got chance with you. And only much later, I find out they are attached or married.

Most Filipinos are always nosy about ones preference. They always have to guess who is gay or not. A characteristic that I hate. Hence I also avoid gay filipino friends as they are likely to do so.

 

For drinking sessions, most guys are touchy but I think it's because they built up the bond of brotherhood through sharing these alcoholic beverages. Others are just jerks though, trying to guess if your are gay by being touchy to you and observe if your respond.

[LeanMature]

I was based in the middle east and my ex company employed many Filipinos and Indians workers.  It's war almost every other day.  

[Guest guest]

pinoys. Yucks. Real disgusting

[Guest guest]

48 minutes ago, TwoChnBTMs said:

its individual...i have many filipinosfriends, they are nice

soon you will become equally as disgusting as they are,.

[tomcat]

56 minutes ago, Lester01 said:

For drinking sessions, most guys are touchy but I think it's because they built up the bond of brotherhood through sharing these alcoholic beverages. Others are just jerks though, trying to guess if your are gay by being touchy to you and observe if your respond.

 

Hmm, i see. culturally very different from SG guys who would rarely catfish just out of curiousity. I did consider one of the guys I met at the party, he looked great and was very warm. We chatted on Viber a few times also, then I was invited to another party a few months later (celebration of a new birth) and he walked in carrying his daughter, and also with his wife. They flew in to visit and attend the party as well. My jaw dropped, but just kept poker face on, lol.

 

After seeing that I was not going to out him, he continued to msg me. But I declined his further advances lah. Just way too dicey, and never at the expense of a family, or if it meant hurting an innocent spouse..

[CKW]

28 minutes ago, LeanMature said:

I was based in the middle east and my ex company employed many Filipinos and Indians workers.  It's war almost every other day.  

 

I'm not surprised because both their cultures are almost like opposites. 

 

I worked with both nationalities before and that was my observation.

 

Generally, a nice, hardworking Filipino and a nice, hardworking Indian national may not get along because of their cultural differences, e.g. the way they communicate, gesture, etc.

Edited June 15, 2017 by CKW

[CKW]

26 minutes ago, tomcat said:

 

Hmm, i see. culturally very different from SG guys who would rarely catfish just out of curiousity. I did consider one of the guys I met at the party, he looked great and was very warm. We chatted on Viber a few times also, then I was invited to another party a few months later (celebration of a new birth) and he walked in carrying his daughter, and also with his wife. They flew in to visit and attend the party as well. My jaw dropped, but just kept poker face on, lol.

 

After seeing that I was not going to out him, he continued to msg me. But I declined his further advances lah. Just way too dicey, and never at the expense of a family, or if it meant hurting an innocent spouse..

 

A bit off topic here but one time at one of the local pools, a Vietnamese man in his 30s had fun with me in the water and in the changing room.   

 

I was shocked when as I was leaving the pool, I saw him with his very young son and daughter (both were about 6-years old or younger).

Edited June 15, 2017 by CKW

[Lester01]

8 minutes ago, tomcat said:

 

Hmm, i see. culturally very different from SG guys who would rarely catfish just out of curiousity. I did consider one of the guys I met at the party, he looked great and was very warm. We chatted on Viber a few times also, then I was invited to another party a few months later (celebration of a new birth) and he walked in carrying his daughter, and also with his wife. They flew in to visit and attend the party as well. My jaw dropped, but just kept poker face on, lol.

 

After seeing that I was not going to out him, he continued to msg me. But I declined his further advances lah. Just way too dicey, and never at the expense of a family, or if it meant hurting an innocent spouse..

Waah. Not nice. I had similar exp too. I used to see and message this singaporean as well. Then later on he told me he's married with children. I said Nope to further advanced as well.

[TwoChnBTMs]

58 minutes ago, Guest guest said:

soon you will become equally as disgusting as they are,.

 Its all about upbringing , grace and culture...u be nice to other , others are nice to u.

 

Its always a mirror effect

[Guest Iknow]

Relatively speaking, pinoy PMET is more polite than foreign indian PMET.  Though pinoy may be two-faced, the indian are right into your face.

[Guest Tata]

3 hours ago, Guest Iknow said:

Relatively speaking, pinoy PMET is more polite than foreign indian PMET.  Though pinoy may be two-faced, the indian are right into your face.

Indian culture is to bully the weakest link. If you avoid their bully it is a sight of your weakness and they will give you more their "right into your face" without mercy. They enjoy to bully others in all aspects and respect those who stood fierce to against their bullies and return to bully.

[pittsburgh]

I think the postings veer a little off my original topic which is befriending a GAY Filipino and flirting and having ONS with filipinos in Singapore. I think it is slightly different from having a Filipino as colleague and as friend (or even part of a clique of gay friends, with which my Malaysian and Burmese friends have no problem interacting). Is there anyone here who is non-Filipino and dating a Filipino, or have a gay Filipino as a close friend?

[Guest Guest]

14 hours ago, TwoChnBTMs said:

its individual...i have many filipinosfriends, they are nice

 

12 hours ago, TwoChnBTMs said:

 Its all about upbringing , grace and culture...u be nice to other , others are nice to u.

 

Its always a mirror effect

 

You are really so naïve. You think the entire world will mirror back to you what you did to them? Please face the fact that there are people who has it in their DNA to backstab anyone at first chance. And Filipinos are one of them.

[Guest Those days]

10 hours ago, pittsburgh said:

. Is there anyone here who is non-Filipino and dating a Filipino, or have a gay Filipino as a close friend?

I used to have a pinoy panpal.  We started conversation in chatroom when I was in my 20s and virgin.  He started chatting with me because his company send him to Singapore and he told me he was "curious" about our country.  When he first came, we met in his hotel and immediately we have sex.  He took my virgin and forced cum into me without a condom.  Luckily, he is clean when I did my HIV test.  

 

When I wanted to meet with him again in order to familiarize him with Singapore, he told me he actually have many pinoy friends in Singapore.  I felt so "cheated" and we lost touch since.   However, on my first meeting with him, he did share with me his value and he think pinoy maid in Singapore is dirty.  I was still confuse why he think so differently about his own country people.  May be this pinoy whom I met came from an above-average family by phillipine standard.

[LeanMature]

I had it with a married pinoy ex-colleague.  Big dick and cums alot.  But he was one that cannot keep secret.  Soon another pinoy colleague came to know of it but I turn the table around and made him into a liar.  Soon everyone thought he was lying. 

[Guest Guest]

3 hours ago, LeanMature said:

I had it with a married pinoy ex-colleague.  Big dick and cums alot.  But he was one that cannot keep secret.  Soon another pinoy colleague came to know of it but I turn the table around and made him into a liar.  Soon everyone thought he was lying. 

 

You for back stabbed? Are you even surprised at all? Lol... 

[Guest duhhh]

11 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

 

You are really so naïve. You think the entire world will mirror back to you what you did to them? Please face the fact that there are people who has it in their DNA to backstab anyone at first chance. And Filipinos are one of them.

 

backstabbing doesn't came from DNA. even singaporean will also talk about their boss very badly. how many times i've heard my friends calling their bosses/friends .. 'siao/crazy', 'this guy sabo me' etc etc.. 

backstabbing is only for GIRLS and GAYS and anyone who are SISSIES.. it's not because of your RACE. 

if you are a professional, educated person, you don't do such things. you can probably heard many filipinos 'backstab' or 'talk about other people' because TYPICALLY filipinos are very fan in chitchatting, they make fun of others, even of small things, they also have something to say or make fun with. but all these are not taken seriously, but only just part of humour and past-times. 

go to the Philippines and you will notice that even on newspapers, TV, radio, social media -- that talking about scandals of celebrities, and other people is part of the culture. and these is the reason filipinos can get along with each other because the main thing about them is companionship -- sharing -- partaking.

and by the way, most filipinos gays who are 'professionals' (those you do not see working in F&Bs and Retails) they also have the same sentiments with some of filipino-haters here. if you are chinese, malay or indian who disgust them? the truth is: most filipinos doesn't like Chinese (because most are not circumcised, which is a laughing stock for them), most filipinos doesn't like indians (because most of Indian smell). I have nothing to say about Malays, since both Filipinos and Malays are alike.

so i hope when you disgust a person based on race, make sure you are from a race which is also pleasing amongst all race. we are supposed to be Asian, but some people here are behaving as if they are superior. 

[smok3r]

Tagay! (cheers in Filipino) let's drink to this... anyone befriend with Pinoy, Im here  hehe

Edited June 16, 2017 by smok3r

[Guest duhhh]

just to add-in, filipinos can talk and posts a nasty comment or anything against their President Duterte online without FEAR. but singaporeans cannot post bad things about their Prime Minister LHL or LKY.. you see the difference? that's how vocal filipinos in voicing our their thoughts against anyone
 

so probably before you disgust someone else' RACE, better understand their culture or origin first.