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Why it seems tough to find suitable friend just for pure friendship?


Guest pb74

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10 hours ago, ZKT279 said:

I know n truely understand what u mean.... been facing the same thing in this plu comunity. Its really suck!!!

Some how, now i'm allergic to this words "face pic pls..." i mean common... :frustrated:

Asking for a face pic is an entirely different issue from asking for fun/seeking friends though. It is only polite to give a face pic when you approach someone with a face pic. In a way, it sort of makes you a more credible person than someone who could be an anonymous troll or weirdo. But then again, these weirdos now use fake pictures to catfish.

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Grindr and Jackd is not the place to "make friends". Most are there for hookups only and if you have neither the body nor looks, well prepare to stay within the below average expectations (ignore, block, etc). Remember that if a guy chats with you, he could be chatting with 20 other guys simultaneously unless you are his type to grab his attention. These apps will never work except for quick hookups.

 

I am a young attractive who naively thought that the other party was sincere, it will never happen once the pants is down.

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18 hours ago, sengkang33 said:

90percent of them visit. Here for fun, so looking for the 10percent.,难,I had try but really can't find lor :mellow:

I won't say is even 90%, perhaps 99% meaning trying 100 times maybe 1 time will be successful....even finding a travel mate just for a short trip is very difficult :doh:

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2 hours ago, Guest Duh said:

Grindr and Jackd is not the place to "make friends". Most are there for hookups only and if you have neither the body nor looks, well prepare to stay within the below average expectations (ignore, block, etc). Remember that if a guy chats with you, he could be chatting with 20 other guys simultaneously unless you are his type to grab his attention. These apps will never work except for quick hookups.

 

I am a young attractive who naively thought that the other party was sincere, it will never happen once the pants is down.

I have to totally agree....it’s a hard fact...it really get worse if one is old, ugly, n fat, plus Asian. 

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50 minutes ago, tinkymale said:

I have to totally agree....it’s a hard fact...it really get worse if one is old, ugly, n fat, plus Asian. 

Some also like their friends to be handsome and fit. As for asians i dont think there is a problem in singapore here as 99% of us are asians. Ang mo superiority thinking is of the past and only a few remnants left in singapore. As for other countries than is a different case.

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6 hours ago, Guest Duh said:

Grindr and Jackd is not the place to "make friends". Most are there for hookups only and if you have neither the body nor looks, well prepare to stay within the below average expectations (ignore, block, etc). Remember that if a guy chats with you, he could be chatting with 20 other guys simultaneously unless you are his type to grab his attention. These apps will never work except for quick hookups.

 

I am a young attractive who naively thought that the other party was sincere, it will never happen once the pants is down.

I am sincere. Let's be friends.

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4 hours ago, yoyo74 said:

Some also like their friends to be handsome and fit. As for asians i dont think there is a problem in singapore here as 99% of us are asians. Ang mo superiority thinking is of the past and only a few remnants left in singapore. As for other countries than is a different case.

But there are still young guys who just love the whites who are old n not good looking.  Seen a lot in FF gym... sadly Asian old guys must be really good looking n fit then can get guys. 

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Guest missing

nowadays guys would only make friends to you according to your...

 

1. looks

2. race

3. lifestyle

4. status

 

and suprisingly some prefer u go on the same gym. if you dont fall in their criteria simple u cant be friendsor they wont just reply you anymore. i miss those days when friendship is not superficial but about acceptance and love.

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Guest Tonychen
21 minutes ago, Guest missing said:

nowadays guys would only make friends to you according to your...

 

1. looks

2. race

3. lifestyle

4. status

 

and suprisingly some prefer u go on the same gym. if you dont fall in their criteria simple u cant be friendsor they wont just reply you anymore. i miss those days when friendship is not superficial but about acceptance and love.

Most people have a shallow side to them. You get to choose when you are so-called better in looks , intelligence , lifestyle , status etc . Somewhat it's natural that people tend to want to be associated with their own kind. Hot guys normally won't want to be hang around ugly guys. Casual friends maybe they will find it ok . But to actually hang out and always be seen with the person - I doubt it. And more often, the ugly ones would in time feel inferior hanging around him anyway, but would feel so privileged inside that they are willing to put up with being the "lesser half". I have seen physically ugly people who love to take photos with hot guys , without (?) realizing it only makes them look uglier. 

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3 minutes ago, Guest Tonychen said:

Most people have a shallow side to them. You get to choose when you are so-called better in looks , intelligence , lifestyle , status etc . Somewhat it's natural that people tend to want to be associated with their own kind. Hot guys normally won't want to be hang around ugly guys. Casual friends maybe they will find it ok . But to actually hang out and always be seen with the person - I doubt it. And more often, the ugly ones would in time feel inferior hanging around him anyway, but would feel so privileged inside that they are willing to put up with being the "lesser half". I have seen physically ugly people who love to take photos with hot guys , without (?) realizing it only makes them look uglier. 

 

maybe to them its an achievement to have photos with hot guys. 

 

i believe that we should have something in common first to be friends. if not the only thing we have in common is just sex.. 

 

like how we make friends back in school. we stick to those we are comfortable with and do activities with. 

 

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3 hours ago, tinkymale said:

But there are still young guys who just love the whites who are old n not good looking.  Seen a lot in FF gym... sadly Asian old guys must be really good looking n fit then can get guys. 

As i said those are the remnants of the bigger group of ang mo lovers of long time ago who still have the ang mo superiority mind set. I also do reject guys that only want fun base on their looks and body. Base on looks and body and not if he is ang mo or not and i had already rejected a few ang mo guys who fail to meet my standard.

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1 hour ago, Guest missing said:

nowadays guys would only make friends to you according to your...

 

1. looks

2. race

3. lifestyle

4. status

 

and suprisingly some prefer u go on the same gym. if you dont fall in their criteria simple u cant be friendsor they wont just reply you anymore. i miss those days when friendship is not superficial but about acceptance and love.

If making friends for fun i will base it on looks and body and not race although race with lighter skin tone attracts me more. I am lesser attracted to those darker skin tone guys unless he look cute, handsome or fit base on my own standard.

If i make friends base on lifestyle than any looks, body, race, status or even gender is not affected. If the person like to be fit and like to run than i can invite any of them to my running group except that he must be aj as it is a aj running group. If the person is a pokemon go player and is in the same team than he can also follow me to raid with the team. But the bigger group of pokemon players i am in does include straight and girls as well.

As for making friends with status are never in my mindset as i am financially independent and dont need them although its still nice to be with them when i can occasionally get free rides from them etc.

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1 hour ago, Guest Tonychen said:

Most people have a shallow side to them. You get to choose when you are so-called better in looks , intelligence , lifestyle , status etc . Somewhat it's natural that people tend to want to be associated with their own kind. Hot guys normally won't want to be hang around ugly guys. Casual friends maybe they will find it ok . But to actually hang out and always be seen with the person - I doubt it. And more often, the ugly ones would in time feel inferior hanging around him anyway, but would feel so privileged inside that they are willing to put up with being the "lesser half". I have seen physically ugly people who love to take photos with hot guys , without (?) realizing it only makes them look uglier. 

I also like to take photo especially topless ones with handsome or fit guys as it is a honor for me to be with them.

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Guest guestsober
13 minutes ago, snowball said:

when people said that they are looking for pure friendship, the select and choose too, period.

You understand how it feel from the angle of how i drawn.Yes i am feeling too tired to think is friendship.After all it is very realistic that how app works now.I am thinking to just delete away all the gay app and to go for a deep meditation.

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It is tough to find guys who are interested in pure friendships. But doesn't mean it's not possible. I made at least a couple from such apps. And it wasn't smooth sailing either.

 

One case would be, we both chatted then due to differences in personality, we stopped. Then a year or so after we somehow stumble upon each other online again and resumed chatting, before ceasing yet again. Short story is, now we are good friends and we didn't even did anything sexual of any sort.

 

Thing to note is that there shouldn't be a rush to meet. I met that particular friend only this year and we first chatted maybe 3 years ago.

good deeds never go unpunished

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Guest concern

Tough to go from gay app and to blowing wind to vent out the emotions.Does it really helps to changed how it going to turns out for this kind of crude window shopping.What say you!

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12 hours ago, Genitif said:

Asking for a face pic is an entirely different issue from asking for fun/seeking friends though. It is only polite to give a face pic when you approach someone with a face pic. In a way, it sort of makes you a more credible person than someone who could be an anonymous troll or weirdo. But then again, these weirdos now use fake pictures to catfish.

not everyone is comfortable to share pic

I rather a person dun post his pic at all, rather post a pic which is not his

 

The chemisty  to be PURE frens do not need pics as prerequisite 

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Just now, blowmenow said:

not everyone is comfortable to share pic

I rather a person dun post his pic at all, rather post a pic which is not his

 

The chemisty  to be PURE frens do not need pics as prerequisite 

That does not really make much sense. If a person has reasons not to show his picture, why will you want to be friends with such a person? What is the person trying to hide?

Ultimately, it is up to personal preferences for friendship. If we all have the same 24 hours and have to prioritise our time, some of us would most probably find friends who are similar to us or who possess certain desirable characteristics. Remaining anonymous is fine, but you cannot expect others to give you the same amount of attention and time as other people with a picture/more information, simply because those other people would be more predictable and you will be some sort of wild card.

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6 minutes ago, Genitif said:

That does not really make much sense. If a person has reasons not to show his picture, why will you want to be friends with such a person? What is the person trying to hide?

Ultimately, it is up to personal preferences for friendship. If we all have the same 24 hours and have to prioritise our time, some of us would most probably find friends who are similar to us or who possess certain desirable characteristics. Remaining anonymous is fine, but you cannot expect others to give you the same amount of attention and time as other people with a picture/more information, simply because those other people would be more predictable and you will be some sort of wild card.

its not a matter of anything to hide... 

btw some are discreet, so for me its ok...

 yes I do agree its very much up to personal preference

in my case and my opinion (which is my personal preference and I dun demand others to accept or agree with me), the similarities dat we seek to be frens dun hv to 

come from physical appearance

yes its ultimately up to individual preference whom he wants to give more attention to

and I agree that those with pics do getter better response and attention (and I can accept dat)

at the same time, I do find someone in this forum who are engaged in long term conversation without asking for each others' pic (this I appreciate)

 

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I am not sure if you are a top or bottom, but you can remove the seeking to have sex part from the equation by only trying to make friends with guys who have the same role as you in bed, as two pure tops or two pure bottoms will not be able to have sex together. But if you are a flex, things might be much more hopeless, as both tops and bottoms are able to have sex with you. In all seriousness though, try to seek friends based on mutual interests and shared activities, so you can focus on those whenever you are together and sex never crosses either of your minds.

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On 15/10/2017 at 10:18 PM, sgind said:

Very true. Sad how discriminatory our society has become in the approach towards friendship.

 

You're a fine one to talk..haha

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The only ships easy to find r those on the sea.

 

Other than that, any kind of ship is difficult to find.

 

Edited by fab

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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6 hours ago, ransom25 said:

Well I am looking for just friendships. To forge a close bond but i guess many people won't 'choose' mem


That Display Picture wont do u much good in establishing an image of someone looking for pure platonic friendship. Don't give yourself a vibe of negativity. That doesn't help in inviting people to chat with u. 

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Guest ransom25
2 hours ago, RyanH said:


That Display Picture wont do u much good in establishing an image of someone looking for pure platonic friendship. Don't give yourself a vibe of negativity. That doesn't help in inviting people to chat with u. 

@RyanH.hahaha I am working on getting a proper picture up. That was the only picture j had of me on my phone (Dislike taking pics). And well I try to put myself out there. Having been doing it for a while now but am new to this forum. Nearly 90% of those people I approach tend to ignore me once I let them know my race. I guess they weren't looking for platontic-ness

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No Display picture may be better in certain situation than to have a topless picture if your intention is purely for friends. I don't take pictures much either. That's why my display pics usually stays the same through the years. There really isn't a rush to have friendship or relationship. Just do it at your own pace. Look for other like minded people 

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Guest ransom25
20 minutes ago, RyanH said:

No Display picture may be better in certain situation than to have a topless picture if your intention is purely for friends. I don't take pictures much either. That's why my display pics usually stays the same through the years. There really isn't a rush to have friendship or relationship. Just do it at your own pace. Look for other like minded people 

Appreciate the advice. We'll I am trying to find a proper picture. Just that most of them are bigger then the limit. I know some people are vary of 'blank' profile pictures.

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Np. There are online editing sites for photos to resize and crop if u do not have access to photoshop and what not. Lols. I were "blank" for a long time and i still made alot of friends

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On 15/10/2017 at 12:35 AM, Guest pb74 said:

Had been contacting several people from here to become friends but they are always asking for fun. Why like that? So difficult to find only friendship.

Same like any other apps tbh. I find it very hard to make friend with others in this community with no fun involved. Whenever I meet them, casually to hangout and eat, it leads to fun then I regret believing them.

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Guest ransom25

Well I guess when we say we would just want platonic relations. We gotta 'enforce' it at that. If they push for fun it would me they weren't looking for just friendships or hangouts.

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Guest How Many Others Have Them

Some people only want one night stands regardless of how much they claim to want friendships. Every time I meet a guy at Taboo, for example, and neither of us has a place to go that night, I ask to exchange contacts so we can hang out in the future, but the vast majority will end up rarely or never replying to my messages. So either I need to become more promiscuous and try to pound every bottom I meet on the same day I meet them ... or find other places to meet guys who genuinely want friendships ... because apps, website, bars, clubs, and malls don't seem to be working.

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Guest ransom25
3 hours ago, Guest How Many Others Have Them said:

Some people only want one night stands regardless of how much they claim to want friendships. Every time I meet a guy at Taboo, for example, and neither of us has a place to go that night, I ask to exchange contacts so we can hang out in the future, but the vast majority will end up rarely or never replying to my messages. So either I need to become more promiscuous and try to pound every bottom I meet on the same day I meet them ... or find other places to meet guys who genuinely want friendships ... because apps, website, bars, clubs, and malls don't seem to be working.

It's true one does rarely find legitamate friendships. Keep going strong though. You are bound to find a friendly friend.

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Expectations get the better of honesty. Even though they sound friendly or at least their profiles say they are friendly. They no longer know how to be social. Just like what I mentioned before in other thread to them coffee means a fuck. A date means a relationship. Friendship? You have to dig their dictionary whatever they define what friendship is to their needs and moods. Or when they can no longer get what they want from you a.k.a. you are useless to their needs, bye bye. Saying that, don't give up. There are still people with brains and souls out there.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

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changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

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Too bad for those looking for friendship. Gay friends mean we all looking for sex. 

Exchange numbers mean, tonight I call you, we go Geylang happy, can?

You happy, I happy, is win win for us, why not?

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On 10/15/2017 at 12:47 AM, ZKT279 said:

I know n truely understand what u mean.... been facing the same thing in this plu comunity. Its really suck!!!

Some how, now i'm allergic to this words "face pic pls..." i mean common... :frustrated:

Don't see anything wrong with asking for a face pic. It's being polite, and I'd rather know who I'm talking to, regardless if I'm just looking for friends.

 

I don't understand people who post photos of their bodies or genitals and in their profiles state that they're looking for friends. And I understand that if you are discreet and don't want to put a photo in your profile, at least provide the photo in the conversation when you're talking to someone.

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Guest While Not Looking

I don't understand some people's seeming allergicness to staying in touch after having sex, especially if it was good sex, so we can do it again in the future. I would rather be able to contact a guy I already know I'm compatible in bed with, rather than go through the hassle of finding somebody new that I might not be compatible in anything with, and repeating the process again and again.

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