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Why it seems tough to find suitable friend just for pure friendship?


Guest pb74

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Guest ransom25
24 minutes ago, Guest While Not Looking said:

I don't understand some people's seeming allergicness to staying in touch after having sex, especially if it was good sex, so we can do it again in the future. I would rather be able to contact a guy I already know I'm compatible in bed with, rather than go through the hassle of finding somebody new that I might not be compatible in anything with, and repeating the process again and again.

Well isn't that a form of security for fornicate and forget. Like you have the security of not having messy situations of attachments and what not. To each his own.

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Guest While Not Looking
5 hours ago, Stephen_K said:

 Isn't the thread about finding suitable friend just for pure friendship ? Nothing wrong to have what you have but it is more of fuck buddy unless you  define "friends" as those who you clicked and can have sex with...in this case " to each his own" hahaha

 

They always say they want to be friends but soon sweet talk me into sex. I expect that they will want to keep in touch as friends with benefits so we can meet up again. But they always have excuses and eventually disappear. My preference is to make non-sexual friends, but when I try to avoid sexual topics, they seduce me into sexual activity and this bad cycle keeps repeating itself.

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Guest ransom25
3 minutes ago, Guest While Not Looking said:

 

They always say they want to be friends but soon sweet talk me into sex. I expect that they will want to keep in touch as friends with benefits so we can meet up again. But they always have excuses and eventually disappear. My preference is to make non-sexual friends, but when I try to avoid sexual topics, they seduce me into sexual activity and this bad cycle keeps repeating itself.

Sometimes we just gotta be vary on people we choose to talk with. There are those that really want to find non sexual friends. One being me(not self advertising) but yea. As soon as someone I want to try chat to display a preference on their profile, i back out knowing that friendship tends to be boundless and not based on a check list

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On 10/22/2017 at 10:05 AM, Guest While Not Looking said:

I don't understand some people's seeming allergicness to staying in touch after having sex, especially if it was good sex, so we can do it again in the future. I would rather be able to contact a guy I already know I'm compatible in bed with, rather than go through the hassle of finding somebody new that I might not be compatible in anything with, and repeating the process again and again.

This has nothing to do with people finding pure friendships WITH NO SEX INCLUDED.

But to answer to that -- its no strings attached for a reason. Feelings might start forming if you stayed as friends and have good sex. Some people just want to meet up, get off, and move on with life.

 

17 hours ago, Guest While Not Looking said:

 

They always say they want to be friends but soon sweet talk me into sex. I expect that they will want to keep in touch as friends with benefits so we can meet up again. But they always have excuses and eventually disappear. My preference is to make non-sexual friends, but when I try to avoid sexual topics, they seduce me into sexual activity and this bad cycle keeps repeating itself.

Then you need to control yourself, or re-evaluate your life and ask yourself what are you really looking for. If you're so easily swayed then maybe you're not looking for non-sexual friends,  and of course, there's nothing wrong with that. Someone could talk to me about sexual topics and I wouldn't be seduced into having fun with them because I know what I want/focused on.

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31 minutes ago, Eujiboo said:

This has nothing to do with people finding pure friendships WITH NO SEX INCLUDED. But to answer to that -- its no strings attached for a reason. Feelings might start forming if you stayed as friends and have good sex. Some people just want to meet up, get off, and move on with life.

 

Then you need to control yourself, or re-evaluate your life and ask yourself what are you really looking for. If you're so easily swayed then maybe you're not looking for non-sexual friends,  and of course, there's nothing wrong with that. Someone could talk to me about sexual topics and I wouldn't be seduced into having fun with them because I know what I want/focused on.

 

But is it really his fault if he says he wants to meet non-sexual friends, the other guys say the same, but when they actually meet those other guys sway him into sex even after he tries to avoid discussing sexual things? It seems to me like those other guys never had friendship intentions and just wanted to seduce him into sex. Maybe he is good looking, submissive, and easily manipulated? Of course that would also mean he needs to become more assertive and speak out for what he really wants rather than bending to the will of others, but such personalities do exist, and as such might really be seeking friends originally.

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19 minutes ago, Guest Cuzz said:

 

But is it really his fault if he says he wants to meet non-sexual friends, the other guys say the same, but when they actually meet those other guys sway him into sex even after he tries to avoid discussing sexual things? It seems to me like those other guys never had friendship intentions and just wanted to seduce him into sex. Maybe he is good looking, submissive, and easily manipulated? Of course that would also mean he needs to become more assertive and speak out for what he really wants rather than bending to the will of others, but such personalities do exist, and as such might really be seeking friends originally.

And that is why, like the others have mentioned, one needs to really see who they're talking to and who they want to actually believe and be friends with. Of course, such things do happen, where intentions are swayed after meeting up. But you can also see that, the moment someone says "we can be friends after we have sex", you know that they're intentions weren't that of a 'purely friends' basis anymore. And if you're so easily swayed by that notion, then you were probably also looking for fun, maybe not with the person you're meeting up with, but the thought is there.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Best way to make gay friends is still the traditional way.... friend's friend, etc. Expand social circle and you'll find.

 

Unless you are still in university, most of us are busy working adults who barely have time for ourselves and usually can only meet up regularly with some very very closed friends.

 

And when we do meet people (especially via apps), meeting a "friend potential" isn't exactly high on our priorities.

“Do not take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard

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