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how to know a person is a top or a bottom

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Guest question   
Guest question

I always wonder how people know if other people is top or bottom .

How do they tell?

Is it really obvious?

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bottoms.. usually have this way when they talk, the way they dress.. i really don't wanna stereotype.. but all the bottoms i've come across behaved exactly the same way. 

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Guest X bear   
Guest X bear

Why don’t you start your question as how and who makes a, TOP or bottom to start. Is it you! Is it me! Strawberry champagne all night, lucky for you that what I like. So funny!

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Guest 张伯支   
Guest 张伯支
4 hours ago, Guest question said:

I always wonder how people know if other people is top or bottom .

How do they tell?

Is it really obvious?

Bottom the ass very loose and there is literally a hole due to constant fucking

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Guest Bottom   
Guest Bottom

Gay face, sissy, loose wrist, cat walk, facial make-up. Just to name a few bottom signs.

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Guest Masculine btm   
Guest Masculine btm
19 minutes ago, Guest Bottom said:

Gay face, sissy, loose wrist, cat walk, facial make-up. Just to name a few bottom signs.

 

32 minutes ago, lonelyglobe said:

Time have changed, the trend now is towards muscular btm :P

Even amongst gays, there's so much bottom shaming that I'll hide by saying I'm versatile.

Most will think I look like a top especially other bottoms. I'll ignore them and still act like a top. The type of top I like is also masculine. I don't mind losing my body to him.

 

But I'll never let a sissy top fuck me. He don't even excite me to start with. I've never even met one so far. Maybe our stereotyping makes sure that we'll never bother to look at each other.

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It is never to  be taken for granted.  I once introduced a very effeminate guy to my cousin.  My cousin is versatile but that night he wanted to top and very badly too.  He was furious when he called me later that night exclaiming that the femme wanted to fuck him instead and claimed that he had always played the top role and had never ever bottomed for anyone. 

 

My modus operandi is always to ask - so what do you like to do in bed?  I have had on several occasions met very macho men who turned me down because they want or need to be fucked so badly, my fantastico blowjob alone would not be enough for them!!!

Edited by kimlo777

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Guest Masculine btm   
Guest Masculine btm
17 minutes ago, kimlo777 said:

....

 I have had on several occasions met very macho men who turned me down because they want or need to be fucked so badly, my fantastico blowjob alone would not be enough for them!!!

That's the problem, people who think that I'm a top would be curious when I turn them down. I don't tell them that I'm a bottom but they can guess. Worse are those kaypoh ones who'll stalk me to find out. 

 

When I finally get pulled into a room and gets fucked like a whore, there's simply no way to hide all that banging and moaning from them. They'll be waiting outside to see me humiliated. It's like being a btm is considered lower status than them.

 

Those catty regulars at Keybox are the worse. They'll really remember me even though I'm not a regular there. They'll gossip about me, "go try him lah...see him so macho also no use, Confirmed he's a slut bottom one..." Finally now they seem to have disappeared from there.

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9 hours ago, kimlo777 said:

It is never to  be taken for granted.  I once introduced a very effeminate guy to my cousin.  My cousin is versatile but that night he wanted to top and very badly too.  He was furious when he called me later that night exclaiming that the femme wanted to fuck him instead and claimed that he had always played the top role and had never ever bottomed for anyone. 

 

My modus operandi is always to ask - so what do you like to do in bed?  I have had on several occasions met very macho men who turned me down because they want or need to be fucked so badly, my fantastico blowjob alone would not be enough for them!!!

but kimlo based on your experience, u shd have easily have gauge accurately right?

 

 

though I m nt sure how shameful it is, isn't it a norm that worldwide there r tons more btms than top

10 hours ago, Guest Masculine btm said:

 

Even amongst gays, there's so much bottom shaming that I'll hide by saying I'm versatile.

Most will think I look like a top especially other bottoms. I'll ignore them and still act like a top. The type of top I like is also masculine. I don't mind losing my body to him.

 

But I'll never let a sissy top fuck me. He don't even excite me to start with. I've never even met one so far. Maybe our stereotyping makes sure that we'll never bother to look at each other.

 

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Maybe it's the bottoms only you have encountered. It doesn't represent a majority, but thank you for that unsubstantiated correlation. 

 

19 hours ago, ArchDragon said:

bottoms.. usually have this way when they talk, the way they dress.. i really don't wanna stereotype.. but all the bottoms i've come across behaved exactly the same way. 

 

Another one. :thumbdown:

 

11 hours ago, Guest Bottom said:

Gay face, sissy, loose wrist, cat walk, facial make-up. Just to name a few bottom signs.

 

 

These type of stereotypes are some of the indirect reasons for subconscious discrimination and assumption that is not needed within the LGBTQ community. Half the time, we put our best foot forward to gain acceptance from people. The other half? Internal fighting with preconceived notions on a person's preferred role in bed by behaviour >_>

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10 hours ago, kimlo777 said:

It is never to  be taken for granted.  I once introduced a very effeminate guy to my cousin.  My cousin is versatile but that night he wanted to top and very badly too.  He was furious when he called me later that night exclaiming that the femme wanted to fuck him instead and claimed that he had always played the top role and had never ever bottomed for anyone. 

 

My modus operandi is always to ask - so what do you like to do in bed?  I have had on several occasions met very macho men who turned me down because they want or need to be fucked so badly, my fantastico blowjob alone would not be enough for them!!!

 

Interesting...

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there are indeed increasing numbers of masculine bottoms and feminine tops around. i have seen afew who are difficult to judge based on their appearance and behavior.

 

so... why not just ask if you are really into this person to see if he role-fit your desire?

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Guest Guest   
Guest Guest
31 minutes ago, Lonelyboy90 said:

there are indeed increasing numbers of masculine bottoms and feminine tops around. i have seen afew who are difficult to judge based on their appearance and behavior.

 

so... why not just ask if you are really into this person to see if he role-fit your desire?

You know only the moment you are in bed with him

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Guest bottom   
Guest bottom
12 hours ago, Lonelyboy90 said:

there are indeed increasing numbers of masculine bottoms and feminine tops around. i have seen afew who are difficult to judge based on their appearance and behavior.

 

so... why not just ask if you are really into this person to see if he role-fit your desire?

 

I could never ever bring myself to be with a fem top...NEVER!!

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Guest Paradoxymoron   
Guest Paradoxymoron

Masculine bottoms are plentiful. You can’t tell from looking and talking with them. You will not believe it even when they tell you. But they allow to be rimmed and fucked. You got to try them to believe it. Fem top? You mean one who looks and behaves like Rupaul (drag race), but fucks like a boss? I believe they are also very bitchy and control freak in real life and very bossy in bed. Only a passive fem btm can stand them i guess? :mellow:

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1 hour ago, 72%dark said:

When you say “top” and “bottom”, what do you have in mind?

 

  1. During anal sex, the one who penetrates or the one who is penetrated.
  2. The one who is more dominant/controlling/aggressive during sex, or the one who is more submissive/passive.
  3. The one whose mannerisms are stereotypically masculine/macho/butch, or the one who’s more effeminate.

Strictly speaking, the terms “top” and “bottom” refer just to no.1. But people often conflate the three due to stereotypes and expectations.

 

As others have pointed out, you can’t be 100% sure about someone’s role preference during anal sex without asking (or trying it out during intercourse).

 

I know a guy who is effeminate and is passive during sex but will only ever penetrate during anal and oral sex; that makes him a top notwithstanding his other traits. I’ve encountered bottoms who want to be pounded like animals but are quite ‘bossy’ during sex, dictating to the top what they want and how. And of course masculine bottoms are everywhere; they’re the ones who anti-cruise each other at the gym.

 

(I think a far more interesting question is what people mean when they identify as “versatile” or “flexible”.)

My guessing or understanding , vers or flex are those follow mood to fuck or to be fucked. Consider.chin chai case la. Any fun goes 

Not any guys hor

:P

Edited by cutejack

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Guest 1010   
Guest 1010

if he touches your dick first he is bottom,  if he touches your butt first he is top.

If he touches your nipps first, he wanna to find out whether you are top or bottom by seeing your reaction (whether you respond by touching his dick or butt).

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12 hours ago, Guest 1010 said:

if he touches your dick first he is bottom,  if he touches your butt first he is top.

If he touches your nipps first, he wanna to find out whether you are top or bottom by seeing your reaction (whether you respond by touching his dick or butt).

yes, very good method

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Guest Masculine btm   
Guest Masculine btm

Because even the big fatty act superior after hearing me getting fucked and moaning in the room. That's why people want to kaypoh whether you are top or bottom especially if you not interested in them.

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Just to add on in the sauna, if one try to reach their hole, at least a pure top will feel uneasy whereas a pure bottom will feel shiok.

Flex is more difficult to determine. 

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Guest A friend say   
Guest A friend say
1 hour ago, tyan said:

Just to add on in the sauna, if one try to reach their hole, at least a pure top will feel uneasy whereas a pure bottom will feel shiok.

Flex is more difficult to determine. 

A friend of mine is a flex and he told me that he will only fuck ugly people and allow himself to be fucked by only good-looking ones.  Are all flex the same?

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4 minutes ago, Guest A friend say said:

A friend of mine is a flex and he told me that he will only fuck ugly people and allow himself to be fucked by only good-looking ones.  Are all flex the same?

Why fuck only ugly people???  

 

BTW not all humans are same. 

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52 minutes ago, Guest A friend say said:

A friend of mine is a flex and he told me that he will only fuck ugly people and allow himself to be fucked by only good-looking ones.  Are all flex the same?

Flex top will allow the guy he likes to fuck him. 

Flex btm will allow the guy he likes to be fucked. 

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Guest Fucked up   
Guest Fucked up
2 hours ago, Guest A friend say said:

A friend of mine is a flex and he told me that he will only fuck ugly people and allow himself to be fucked by only good-looking ones.  Are all flex the same?

So being fucked is a negative thing, in your fren's world? Only ugly people are deserving of being fucked. Good looking people fuck others. Lemme guess. He is a north korean?

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Guest Masculine btm   
Guest Masculine btm
2 hours ago, Guest Fucked up said:

So being fucked is a negative thing, in your fren's world? Only ugly people are deserving of being fucked. Good looking people fuck others. Lemme guess. He is a north korean?

Stop all that political correctness bs. There's a reason why males are considered superior to females simply from the male fucking the female automatically dominate the female in fucking. That's the harsh truth whether you like it or not.

 

When I allow someone to fuck me, then I have to submit and let him dominate me. He'll pin me down and penetrate me, that act alone is humiliating for me. But I can't help it because my sexual needs are so strong that I cannot control myself.

 

But then I try to control who, where, when I let myself get fucked. Who...I won't let a fem top fuck me even if I have to accept older, fatter or uglier.

Where...I don't want people to watch or know. When...I can delay till I find the right person or place.

 

I'll certainly prefer to be fucked by someone better than me also so that the humiliation is easy to swallow. But then we all know these desirable good looking people are hard to get. 90% of the time I have to settle for less. I'm desirable to him, he's not desirable for me. During fucking me, he'll act superior to me, like they always say, "my cock inside you already, you don't so papaya to me." I don't mind because the pleasures of getting fuck more than compensates.

 

After sex there's no more pleasures and I don't need to humiliate myself by letting others gossip about me. Still, once fucked always fucked, he'll act superior to me. I still prefer to choose someone better looking over him if I can so I don't want to be inferior to him. He still want to choose me because I'm desirable to him. That's when it becomes so complicated.

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On 1/11/2018 at 9:44 PM, -Ignored- said:

but kimlo based on your experience, u shd have easily have gauge accurately right?

 

 

though I m nt sure how shameful it is, isn't it a norm that worldwide there r tons more btms than top

 

looks and behaviour can really be deceiving. even an experienced old hen like me can be deceived... wow lau!

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On 12/01/2018 at 5:22 PM, 72%dark said:
  1.  I've encountered bottoms who want to be pounded like animals but are quite ‘bossy’ during sex, dictating to the top what they want and how.

 

”The functions of top and dominant often intersect, where the top is the dominant, but this is not always the case. Someone who is “topping” may be doing so at the request, or even the direction, of a bottom partner; in this case, the bottom is the dominant partner. A top who acts within this kind of relationship dynamic is sometimes called a service top. A bottom who has dominance over the activities or the relationship is said to be topping from the bottom, even though he or she is really exercising dominance from the bottom. “

 

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_(BDSM), paragraph 4)

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Guest Laolao   
Guest Laolao
On 14/01/2018 at 8:37 PM, Guest Masculine btm said:

Stop all that political correctness bs. There's a reason why males are considered superior to females simply from the male fucking the female automatically dominate the female in fucking. That's the harsh truth whether you like it or not.

 

When I allow someone to fuck me, then I have to submit and let him dominate me. He'll pin me down and penetrate me, that act alone is humiliating for me. But I can't help it because my sexual needs are so strong that I cannot control myself.

 

But then I try to control who, where, when I let myself get fucked. Who...I won't let a fem top fuck me even if I have to accept older, fatter or uglier.

Where...I don't want people to watch or know. When...I can delay till I find the right person or place.

 

I'll certainly prefer to be fucked by someone better than me also so that the humiliation is easy to swallow. But then we all know these desirable good looking people are hard to get. 90% of the time I have to settle for less. I'm desirable to him, he's not desirable for me. During fucking me, he'll act superior to me, like they always say, "my cock inside you already, you don't so papaya to me." I don't mind because the pleasures of getting fuck more than compensates.

 

After sex there's no more pleasures and I don't need to humiliate myself by letting others gossip about me. Still, once fucked always fucked, he'll act superior to me. I still prefer to choose someone better looking over him if I can so I don't want to be inferior to him. He still want to choose me because I'm desirable to him. That's when it becomes so complicated.

You sounded almost like 2000 years old. Hello there ancient Sex Slave. Say hi to Jesus Christ and Saint Peter for me please? Thanks!

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Guest Gym   
Guest Gym
13 hours ago, Mastiff said:

 

What's "anti-cruising" please? Thanks!

I’m guessing he meant masculine btms are able to sense each other in gyms. It takes one to know another? Haha

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Guest Masculine btm   
Guest Masculine btm
9 hours ago, Guest Laolao said:

You sounded almost like 2000 years old. Hello there ancient Sex Slave. Say hi to Jesus Christ and Saint Peter for me please? Thanks!

You must be another bottom like me. These truths make you feel very uncomfortable, right? I get uncomfortable too but then what to do? Want to get fucked got no choice but accept it then tell nobody later.

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Guest Boottom of the pile   
Guest Boottom of the pile
5 hours ago, Guest Masculine btm said:

You must be another bottom like me. These truths make you feel very uncomfortable, right? I get uncomfortable too but then what to do? Want to get fucked got no choice but accept it then tell nobody later.

Sorry to break it to you but in 2018, being mentally crippled by silly 2000 year old social stigmas and prejudice like you like is really getting extremely rare. Your bottom is like a bottomless pit to nowhere, outerspace, an alien ancient relic lost in time, whereas to others it is just a preference on bed.

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