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Skip CNY reunion/visits.


Guest A new phase

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Guest A new phase

Do most sg gays in their 30's and older skip reunion dinners and visits, especially for the closeted ones, like travel overseas to escape pesky relatives. Will your parents (if alive) be angry and feel that you are disrespectful, and how will you reply them.

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Guest No need
6 hours ago, Guest A new phase said:

Do most sg gays in their 30's and older skip reunion dinners and visits, especially for the closeted ones, like travel overseas to escape pesky relatives. Will your parents (if alive) be angry and feel that you are disrespectful, and how will you reply them.

Depends on how felia or responsible you are.  Escape can be done after a proper reunion dinner and not skipping it.    After reunion dinner, I say thank to my family and return to my own bachelor pad to be alone again.

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Ya lor. Surely will be awkward and being asked questions. But family is family lar. Juz have to endure especially onli meet once a year. And like wat snowball mentioend, if parent still around, have to give face and go. 

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I have been MIA for quite a number of years and revisited. As expected, so awkward as almost everyone's looking on their phones or TV. So little interaction. Even if there is, there was awkward silence for a while. Wonder if anyone feels the same, mine already happened when I hit 30s.

Will you be my valentine's? :D

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10 hours ago, Guest A new phase said:

Do most sg gays in their 30's and older skip reunion dinners and visits, especially for the closeted ones, like travel overseas to escape pesky relatives. Will your parents (if alive) be angry and feel that you are disrespectful, and how will you reply them.

 

I don't.

I moved out 2 years ago. Still went back to parent's house for dinner, and then Grandma's house for light snacks pre-CNY blackjack. XD

No wanderlust; prefer to stay home and lepak or play game. Travel overseas only if necessary. 

My parents will also still visit a few of my grand-aunts who are still alive. So I will accompany them when they go. My 2nd bro and my little sister, will usually go together as they still un-married. My big brother is married, so he sometimes come together, sometimes he follow his own schedule.

 

And JUST today only, went to the grand-aunt's at TPY. Once of the aunts from that side of the family (super multi extended until don't really know how she's related to me xD ) ask me when I getting married. xD

 

My Grandma also said the same thing she said when she came over my house for a brief "site-visit": The House needs a female owner to be complete. -.-"

A few close aunts also wished the same thing, about getting married, blahblahblah.

 

Nod and smile lor. What to do? xD

Got ang pao liao can liao ma. xD

But now when people give me, I oso paiseh take. Only if they ownself volunteer then I accept. 

 

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to be honest, if you reach almost 40 and still no gf, they will more or less know your identity, most understanding one will not ask about gf or married issue anymore but about your career and not too personal things, glad most of my relatives not those kepo type, so i have no problem to talk or visit them often

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Guest I rather own pets
1 hour ago, Arthur said:

Reunion dinner is very important if your parents is still around.. 

The memories of past reunion dinners are all that you have once they ‘migrate’..

Treasure these moments while you still have it..

There are parents, and then there are “parents”.... >_<

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I'm not on talking terms with my father, so for the past 4 years I've not gone back for reunion dinner or joined them for any visitations.

 

I don't like meeting nosy relatives who ask about my private life, and I revel in schadenfreude when he has to answer to all his siblings and the matriarch why I'm absent again, and why I moved out.

 

I'm of the opinion that if you don't like visiting people you only meet once a year and have to pretend to like them, just screw tradition and live your life.

 

Yes it sounds selfish but hey, your happiness over theirs, n'est-ce pas?

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Guest Present tense

Attend your own family reunion for as long as you can because many elderly gay people (whose own members are already past tense) hardly have such event anymore and they have to find their own memory or activity elsewhere. Quite lonesome for them during this time of the year while many (with parents) still despise having the fundamental dinner whether they like or don't like.

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9 hours ago, Arthur said:

Reunion dinner is very important if your parents is still around.. 

The memories of past reunion dinners are all that you have once they ‘migrate’..

Treasure these moments while you still have it..

Arthur

the youngsters of this era may not hold to such notion

 

me too, Probably I don't  have all my parents w me now

Edited by lovehandle
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I attend with open heart. When asked by concerned relatives n friends, y not married, i usually bla cant afford, don't like kids n its responsibility n pressure, gf died of cancer, fate has not come etc depending on the situations.

 

I don't see the need to respond rudely.

 

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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I don't know why the reunion dinner is particularly important, maybe except because of tradition.

 

We have family dinners with birthdays ( up to 15 per year), and various other times, not to mention I have dinner with my parents probably once a week anyway.

 

I don't think a reunion dinner per se will stand out in my mind.

 

I have probably missed out on one or two occasions in the past, due to travel.

 

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The French have these words.. "Tresor cache" for us to learn that there are always hidden treasures from the people around us and even, ourselves.  

 

As both my parents are no longer around and as the elder child, I am no longer obliged to attend Reunion Dinner anymore.  My 2 siblings have had invited me over but I (unfortunately) had other plans made months earlier.  Like this year, I was at Cai Qin's concert at Genting Highlands.  And since they know I am such a BIG fan, they gladly accepted my explanation.  However I still managed to send LIVE messages of greetings via apps just before I attended the concert. 

 

If you are uncomfortable attending reunion dinner, visit your folks a week earlier with presents and ang-baos.  I think it is the thought that matters.  

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12 hours ago, fab said:

I attend with open heart. When asked by concerned relatives n friends, y not married, i usually bla cant afford, don't like kids n its responsibility n pressure, gf died of cancer, fate has not come etc depending on the situations.

 

I don't see the need to respond rudely.

 

 

gf died of cancer? sounds like smoked, to be honest hehe. I would prob give like, I had a gf way earlier, but just broke up abt 3mths ago. Deleted all the photos and contact (in case they asked further) lol.

Will you be my valentine's? :D

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23 hours ago, fab said:

I attend with open heart. When asked by concerned relatives n friends, y not married, i usually bla cant afford, don't like kids n its responsibility n pressure, gf died of cancer, fate has not come etc depending on the situations.

 

I don't see the need to respond rudely.

 

Good to hear that Fab

 

but I trust u can whip out more gd excuses on your own

 
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2 minutes ago, FluteGuan said:

Good to hear that Fab

 

but I trust u can whip out more gd excuses on your own

 

 

Sample example?

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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27 minutes ago, FluteGuan said:

Aiyo. Auntie agony 不易当。 演活了角色

 

这儿不是有个自写自洗卖肚兜儿的吗?

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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I have started a new tradition of spending vacation with the core family to somewhere else. So now I can still have reunion dinner without the nosy relatives. Of course there's still my parent asking me when I am gonna get married, but at least it's 10 less aunties/uncles/etc. asking me the same question.

“Do not take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard

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Back when I was younger I used to deal with it occasionally by listing out all the standards a potential spouse had to meet before she was eligible. They used to say I was proud but I always responded by asking them if they wanted me to settle for second class. 

After a few times, they learnt not to ask those questions.

 

PS

It was a very extensive list of not unreasonable standards so they couldn't say I was asking for too much by pointing to any one thing

Edited by xiandarkthorne

Old and experienced but always ready for naughty fun! 

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Guest Waste of Time

The annual event is becoming like a drag and not the type we like to watch. 

The food is getting more inedible even at restaurants and having to do PR to entertain freeloading guests whom you do not even see for the rest of the year.  The worse are those who come to wreck the family atmosphere by comparing notes of how well off they are in wealth and status and basically phisshing a lot of people off. 

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Guest Depressed

Have not seen my relatives for CNY for over a decade, and I am glad esp that prick of a man who is my uncle who use to grab my hand to rub his dick, and it started when I was around 10 yrs old.

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1 hour ago, Guest Waste of Time said:

The annual event is becoming like a drag and not the type we like to watch. 

The food is getting more inedible even at restaurants and having to do PR to entertain freeloading guests whom you do not even see for the rest of the year.  The worse are those who come to wreck the family atmosphere by comparing notes of how well off they are in wealth and status and basically phisshing a lot of people off. 

Not to mention the poor services of seller who stares and scolded you when I touched their items and the lady stall holders at China town screamed at customer for sampling and not buying.  Most of them are either from china or vietnamese who dare to set up a stall here or probably have a mysterious malaysian boss behind those stalls.  So suay to be scolded by these foreigners.

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