Addicted to Visiting Sauna and Sex Discussion (compiled)

[Guest gay]

got a friend who go gay sauna everyday. is this addiction healthy

[Guest alien]

If it doesn't affect the person daily life and health, this addiction shld be consider healthy. Same theory like pple ask if addiction to jerking off everyday ok or not.

[Guest Bored]

It depends lor, if he goes there for mood, pass time entertainment, made friends, gym, soak in sauna or seek love than should be ok. But if he go there for the sole purpose of getting screwed everyday than dangerous.

[Guest Guest]

He so rich or he works in the sauna, so can go sauna everyday :clap:

[snowball]

only he himself know the main purpose going there,

gay, you can ask him personally, then share with those readers who keen to know?

Edited May 28, 2010 by snowball

[Guest guest]

If it doesn't affect the person daily life and health, this addiction shld be consider healthy. Same theory like pple ask if addiction to jerking off everyday ok or not.

because is free entry for below 24 in a week in different sauna and can get free sex . THE FREE THING lar.

[Guest Kiam ka Na]

because is free entry for below 24 in a week in different sauna and can get free sex . THE FREE THING lar.

dont forget free std is waiting too, so sauna daily might be not good, as u wont know when or with whom u might get the std from.

[semb23chn]

i find myself going around once a week recently...

[Guest Guest]

saunas need customers like your friend....without the 'whore', the sauna will not attract older paying customers.

[slayer]

saunas need customers like your friend....without the 'whore', the sauna will not attract older paying customers.

It takes one to know one, doesn't it?

[Guest guest]

dont forget free std is waiting too, so sauna daily might be not good, as u wont know when or with whom u might get the std from.

you jeolous of our young age and FREE THING? u try to go FREE lar ask the french guy .or maybe u stay home and get rot.

[tic-toc]

hello cool down everyone,,,,, don't start the flamming here again.

[Guest ok or not?]

Your friend should know the consequences. If he doesn't, then as a friend, u might want to advise him.

As so many had mentioned, if he is there for SEX, STD is what he has to be awared and be careful with.

To make friend, sauna might not be the best place too. He might want to join some other interest grp for PLU.

Cheers, hope not too long-winded.

[Guest Kiam Ka Na]

you jealous of our young age and FREE THING? u try to go FREE lar ask the French guy .or maybe u stay home and get rot.

walao e sound like some1 got burn, wondering u were sharing about ur storied instead of ur fren's ones?

why shud I jealous on a slut? I prefer mono and I am happily mono for our 5th anniversary soon.

Just bring up the facts to others - that if u change partners the risk of std are higher

Can u imagine ur fren (or who ever is the stories' belong to) had 365 different c**ks entered him a year (if he only had 1 a day)?

Can’t imagine how loose his a** h*l* will be ..

If wanna get rid of std risk choose Mono Plz

[happy.99]

as long as he is single and wear protection, i think it is fine

[Guest Zero]

U watch pxxn everyday, is it healthy?

U ate fried food everyday, is it healthy?

U masturbate every day, is it healthy?

U have sex everyday, is it healthy?

So wads the standard of being healthy and havin addiction? As long as he is happy and not jeopardize other aspect of his life, going suana daily could be treated as his "hobbies" thats makes him happy .

Besides, we are living in a stressful and demanding society, a little addiction could helps in striking a balance...of cox if he practices safe sex.

[briax]

If you are talking about sexual addiction, there is actually a self assessed checklist.

http://www.sexualrecovery.com/resources/selftests/gsast.php

During our outreach project "Project Undress Your Soul" in Club One Seven, we do have people coming to us to talk about their worries on their frequent trips to the gay saunas. There is actually a difference between enjoying a good session of sex in a sauna and relaxed after that, or walking out of the sauna and feeling guilty about it and blaming yourself for unable to control your needs and feel very tired emotionally.

Put it simply, if your friend goes there daily and nothing like finance, social life, interpersonal relationships or work in his life is impacted and he does not feel emotionally meaningless about it, he is probably still safe. But he is felt that he is screwed up and started to question if there is anything better to do in his life other than going to saunas, he probably need to talk to someone about it.

Addiction is a fairly loaded word so I wont use it unless absolutely true. Some people goes through a short period of very sexually active and can move on to other stuff. Some people simply get stucked.

If you think your friend need some help... go to www.wecare.org.sgto arrange for a counselling with the very gay friendly counsellor - Marjorie Nixon or Oogachaga Counselling if you prefer to speak a gay male counsellor. Or drop me an email at bryan@oogachaga.com cos I know someone who is planning to start a sexual addiction support group for gay and bisexual men.

cheers...Bryan

Edited May 30, 2010 by briax

[Guest GF]

My view:

a) Networking

b) Killing time

c) Picking up skills

d) Enjoy having sex

e) Entertaining

As long as safe sex ok lar....

[Guest needadvise]

I have a friend who find having sex with random strangers thrilling and exciting. Even he had deleted his app and stop visiting sauna, he still have the strong urge for sex and after some times, he installed back gay app. He claim its safe sex but there are stds that can be infected by contact. How do u change the behavior of this friend to appreciate the benefits of commitment to just 1 partner?

[Kimochi]

3 minutes ago, Guest needadvise said:

I have a friend who find having sex with random strangers thrilling and exciting. Even he had deleted his app and stop visiting sauna, he still have the strong urge for sex and after some times, he installed back gay app. He claim its safe sex but there are stds that can be infected by contact. How do u change the behavior of this friend to appreciate the benefits of commitment to just 1 partner?

Only himself can do it ~ you as friend can support. 

[Guest warts]

8 minutes ago, Guest needadvise said:

I have a friend who find having sex with random strangers thrilling and exciting. Even he had deleted his app and stop visiting sauna, he still have the strong urge for sex and after some times, he installed back gay app. He claim its safe sex but there are stds that can be infected by contact. How do u change the behavior of this friend to appreciate the benefits of commitment to just 1 partner?

show him the genital warts pictures

 

[lovehandle]

but isn't it the norm to suck /bj it raw?

[Guest Guest]

1 hour ago, -Ignored- said:

but isn't it the norm to suck /bj it raw?

 

You would know right?

STD-ridden aunty

 

LOL 

[Guest gaygay]

2 hours ago, Guest needadvise said:

I have a friend who find having sex with random strangers thrilling and exciting. Even he had deleted his app and stop visiting sauna, he still have the strong urge for sex and after some times, he installed back gay app. He claim its safe sex but there are stds that can be infected by contact. How do u change the behavior of this friend to appreciate the benefits of commitment to just 1 partner?

 

i dun get it. if so horny why must purposely go curb the urge. it will just backfire.

might as well just go with the flow but play safely.

after awhile might just overcome it cos start to feel empty and all or just not interested anymore.

[lovehandle]

4 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

You would know right?

STD-ridden aunty

 

LOL 

Of cos i nurse your std by giving u a pseudo medicine

 

i m of cos stricken by all your open wounds

no wonder u sign on as a guest! Worried that people will not have sex w u?

i have your records too

 

even if u r not Stdridden, no1 bothers to touch a guest!

 

go on, run naked and beg a dog to fuck u 

[Guest Needadvice]

Really have to wait till the person come to senses?

any1 who was a player but now stop looking for random sex can share ur experience?

[Guest have a friend]

23 hours ago, Guest needadvise said:

I have a friend who find having sex with random strangers thrilling and exciting. Even he had deleted his app and stop visiting sauna, he still have the strong urge for sex and after some times, he installed back gay app. He claim its safe sex but there are stds that can be infected by contact. How do u change the behavior of this friend to appreciate the benefits of commitment to just 1 partner?

 

Statistically most posts that start with "I have a friend" or someone claiming to speak on behalf of his friend are actually problems published by the person itself and there is no friend behind the post....

[cutejack]

23 hours ago, Guest needadvise said:

I have a friend who find having sex with random strangers thrilling and exciting. Even he had deleted his app and stop visiting sauna, he still have the strong urge for sex and after some times, he installed back gay app. He claim its safe sex but there are stds that can be infected by contact. How do u change the behavior of this friend to appreciate the benefits of commitment to just 1 partner?

U get him a partner for rest of his life la. See can get anot.

[Guest not hiding]

23 hours ago, Guest needadvise said:

I have a friend who find having sex with random strangers thrilling and exciting. Even he had deleted his app and stop visiting sauna, he still have the strong urge for sex and after some times, he installed back gay app. He claim its safe sex but there are stds that can be infected by contact. How do u change the behavior of this friend to appreciate the benefits of commitment to just 1 partner?

 

What is the problem with your friend? I don't find anything serious with him. He has a normal gay sex life, so what?

If he is into it, he will get into a relationship. I wouldn't beg for a monogamous relationship with him.

I see nothing wrong in him.

[Guest You are a fake friend]

On 08/04/2018 at 7:17 PM, Guest needadvise said:

I have a friend who find having sex with random strangers thrilling and exciting. Even he had deleted his app and stop visiting sauna, he still have the strong urge for sex and after some times, he installed back gay app. He claim its safe sex but there are stds that can be infected by contact. How do u change the behavior of this friend to appreciate the benefits of commitment to just 1 partner?

 

What kind of fake hypocritical friend are you to try and change his lifestyle, needs/wants or who he is? If you are truly a friend, accept him for who he is and show your support even if he falls from grace. Otherwise, stop being a self righteous holier-than-thou pretentious snob. Not everybody must conform to your way of monogamy.

[Guest Guest]

On 4/8/2018 at 8:26 PM, -Ignored- said:

but isn't it the norm to suck /bj it raw?

 

You would suck it raw lor, that's why you got so many STDs.

No need to feel bitter, dogs will still fuck you  

 

[Guest :-(]

2 hours ago, Guest You are a fake friend said:

 

What kind of fake hypocritical friend are you to try and change his lifestyle, needs/wants or who he is? If you are truly a friend, accept him for who he is and show your support even if he falls from grace. Otherwise, stop being a self righteous holier-than-thou pretentious snob. Not everybody must conform to your way of monogamy.

 

Yeah, let your friend contact hiv and std, then congrats him for being the lucky winner who strikes the jackpot. His life, his game, why bother when he's not having sex with you. In this way, the above person who posted this will feel you're a truely a non-pretentious helpful friend. 

 

Thank me very much 

[doncoin]

At the end of the day, what is important to your friend is getting laid. Regardless of who. Honestly, getting rid of the apps is not really going to solve the problem since it is easy to reinstall it, or pop into the sauna. However, if he truly wants to change his lifestyle, he should go into therapy. Figure out why he needed the validation of multiple sex partners, or simply he needed the attention. At some point, it is not as simple as being just horny. It could be issues ranging from low self-esteem to some other psychological issues that were not addressed properly. Obviously the whole multiple partners thing say something. So figure it out and hopefully, he can control whatever the issue is versus the issue control him. 

[Steve5380]

"SAUNA ADDICTION"  has an overcritical connotation.

 

"Addiction" is a habit for something that is unnecessary and unnatural like smoking and drinking or for doing something in excess.

Some sex is practically a necessity most of our lives and it is definitely natural.

Unless your friend spends most of his days in a sauna, there is no "sauna addiction".

Some people eat in restaurants several times a day, yet I have never heard them defined as "restaurant addicted".

 

If your friend is NOT monogamous like many of us,  a "commitment to just one partner" won't be a good solution. We want the excitement of doing it with new bodies in different scenarios. If this is not possible due to the absence of adequate partners or real concern about STDs,  maybe the easiest solution is to  resort to a vast collection of porn, a vivid fantasy and a good technique of masturbation.  Of course this is easier done as a senior,  but I have applied this solution also as a young man with minimal hardship.

[Guest Therapy?]

3 hours ago, doncoin said:

At the end of the day, what is important to your friend is getting laid. Regardless of who. Honestly, getting rid of the apps is not really going to solve the problem since it is easy to reinstall it, or pop into the sauna. However, if he truly wants to change his lifestyle, he should go into therapy. Figure out why he needed the validation of multiple sex partners, or simply he needed the attention. At some point, it is not as simple as being just horny. It could be issues ranging from low self-esteem to some other psychological issues that were not addressed properly. Obviously the whole multiple partners thing say something. So figure it out and hopefully, he can control whatever the issue is versus the issue control him. 

Quitting gay sex through therapy sounds a bit like conversion therapy. How not to involve guilt in aiding to quit it, by using CBT techniques? Isn't that stepping into some moral grey area?

[Guest not hiding]

5 hours ago, doncoin said:

At the end of the day, what is important to your friend is getting laid. Regardless of who. Honestly, getting rid of the apps is not really going to solve the problem since it is easy to reinstall it, or pop into the sauna. However, if he truly wants to change his lifestyle, he should go into therapy. Figure out why he needed the validation of multiple sex partners, or simply he needed the attention. At some point, it is not as simple as being just horny. It could be issues ranging from low self-esteem to some other psychological issues that were not addressed properly. Obviously the whole multiple partners thing say something. So figure it out and hopefully, he can control whatever the issue is versus the issue control him. 

 

Therapy is going a bit too far. I don't see why he needs a therapy. To cure his sexual appetite?

Lifestyles are different.

The socalled "friend" never clarified why this is in his interest? Is he his bf or "want to be " bf and unhappy that the other doesn't live monogamously?

[Guest Wicked]

Get a Friend to hook up with him, then get your Friend to lie to him that he is hiv positive. This kind of people need to be scared a few times then perhaps he may abstain from casual sex. 

 

Else just find a std infected Friend to have sex with him and intentionally infect him. 

 

Another way is to take sex pic and then leak it online/his social media/forum and tagged his friends etc. Of course don’t blackmail. 

 

 

[Steve5380]

8 minutes ago, Guest Wicked said:

Get a Friend to hook up with him, then get your Friend to lie to him that he is hiv positive. This kind of people need to be scared a few times then perhaps he may abstain from casual sex. 

 

Else just find a std infected Friend to have sex with him and intentionally infect him. 

 

Another way is to take sex pic and then leak it online/his social media/forum and tagged his friends etc. Of course don’t blackmail. 

 

 

You correctly call yourself WICKED.

All your proposals are of course abominable.

Are you in a mental institution?

[Guest Wicked]

What is wrong with that? People only change when they meet death.  All the soft ways already mentioned by others like getting bf etc etc, so why not try the hard ways too. 

 

 

[bigdanbeam]

Casual sex will stop after getting a bf? Sure bo?

[Guest :-(]

7 minutes ago, bigdanbeam said:

Casual sex will stop after getting a bf? Sure bo?

 

Depends how hot is the bf 

 

 

[Guest Someone better]

41 minutes ago, Guest :-( said:

 

Depends how hot is the bf 

 

 

No matter how hot, there is always someone hotter. 

[doncoin]

15 hours ago, Guest Therapy? said:

Quitting gay sex through therapy sounds a bit like conversion therapy. How not to involve guilt in aiding to quit it, by using CBT techniques? Isn't that stepping into some moral grey area?

 

No. it is not quitting gay sex. It is managing addictive/impulsive behaviors. It is not about guilting the friend. It is about figuring out what is driving the behavior and becoming more aware of yourself. 

 

12 hours ago, Guest not hiding said:

 

Therapy is going a bit too far. I don't see why he needs a therapy. To cure his sexual appetite?

Lifestyles are different.

The socalled "friend" never clarified why this is in his interest? Is he his bf or "want to be " bf and unhappy that the other doesn't live monogamously?

 

Nope, Not to cure sexual appetite. To manage the sexual appetite. You may have heard of some people who will just have sex with anybody. Regardless if they are attracted to them or not, or if safety is practiced. They just want to get laid. This is an extreme example of sex addiction. There is something about these multiple partners etc. they gratifies the person. However, they are exposing themselves to risk. 

 

Well, therapy is not always a bad thing. Therapy is a safe place where you can figure out things about yourself through the guidance of the therapist. 

 

[Steve5380]

18 hours ago, Guest Wicked said:

What is wrong with that? People only change when they meet death.  All the soft ways already mentioned by others like getting bf etc etc, so why not try the hard ways too. 

 

Now that others mentioned the soft ways, and you tried the hard ways,

the only recommendation you have left is that he commits suicide...

[Guest Big deal...?]

Is he not just a normal homosexual male experiencing lust and fun at this stage of life? I did, and have no regrets. Just play safe! 

[Guest Safe your breathe on idiot]

5 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Now that others mentioned the soft ways, and you tried the hard ways,

the only recommendation you have left is that he commits suicide...

Asians are abjectly ill informed and misguided when it comes to mental health issues. Save your sarcasm for someone more worthy of your wit, Steve. You're now tantamount to casting pearls at swines.

[Guest You are so optimistic]

On 4/10/2018 at 3:22 AM, doncoin said:

At the end of the day, what is important to your friend is getting laid. Regardless of who. Honestly, getting rid of the apps is not really going to solve the problem since it is easy to reinstall it, or pop into the sauna. However, if he truly wants to change his lifestyle, he should go into therapy. Figure out why he needed the validation of multiple sex partners, or simply he needed the attention. At some point, it is not as simple as being just horny. It could be issues ranging from low self-esteem to some other psychological issues that were not addressed properly. Obviously the whole multiple partners thing say something. So figure it out and hopefully, he can control whatever the issue is versus the issue control him. 

In south east asia therapy usually uses guilt conciously or subconsciously when it comes to sex, especially gay sex. You have too much faith in therapists here. They are only humans living within their culture (prejudiced/bigoted/ignorant/misguided or not) with mouths to feed.

 

This is neither USA nor Western Europe where people believe in and practise the ideals of human rights and gender/sexual orientation equality with distinct conviction and fervour.

 

Most therapists in this godforsaken part of the world are neither well trained, professional nor adequately qualified.

 

Unlike western countries, private mental health practises here don't even require a license, so there is much less incentive to stick to mental health practise rules, established field studies and to maintain professionalism in service care standards.

 

On the contrary, flagrant flouting of establishesd mental health guildelines, studies, standards and agreements here are rampant but are either not reported or under reported here.

 

With the customary disregard, wilful ignorance and bigotry towards gay issues in southeast asia, the mental health system in Singapore for gays is ripe and open for abuse.

 

With the combination of a dire lack of clarity in gay mental health standards and guideline here and a total lack of mental health licensing requirement from the government here, it is totally caveat emptor for the gay consumers of mental health services here.

 

You can almost be sure government institutional practise (IMH) standards would be the same if not far more worse than the private clinics.

 

Don't forget about the over arching  reach of fundamentalist religious conservatism here. Their ideologies permeate through most institutional and business practises here.

 

Even USA has problem banning conversion therapy in some states.

 

Singapore in essence is like most southern red states in the USA where conversion therapy for gays is very much tacitly supported across the board.

 

Although currently there are more exceptions to the rule, especially when you engage the services from western expatriate therapists who actually care about thus are more invested in their global practise reputations and with a strict sense of occupational and professional responsibilities to uphold, safety from abuse is still very difficult to guarantee here in religiously conservative, victorian valued, self censoring, conforming, bureaucratic and patriarchal singapore.

[Guest Guest]

On 4/8/2018 at 9:50 PM, -Ignored- said:

Of cos i nurse your std by giving u a pseudo medicine

 

i m of cos stricken by all your open wounds

no wonder u sign on as a guest! Worried that people will not have sex w u?

i have your records too

 

even if u r not Stdridden, no1 bothers to touch a guest!

 

go on, run naked and beg a dog to fuck u 

 

[tyan]

Now I come to think about it. I was really lucky. During my younger days, I thought I am addicted to gay sauna too becos I happen to work near Amoy street. And every day after work, I will head straight to the gay sauna until night before back home. Everyday I were totally drained out and just sex and more sex. But i didn’t have any STD or whatever. After a few years, I slowly grew out from it and stop frequenting. Now I still do visit gay sauna but is like once in a blue moon. 

[LeanMature]

On 10/04/2018 at 5:29 PM, bigdanbeam said:

Casual sex will stop after getting a bf? Sure bo?

 

If bf can't stop, STD will.