Is It Safe To Come Home? Christian Coming Out

[feedersmiracle]

I’m a catholic by baptism and not by birth, so I had the ceremony done when I was about 6 yo, very young before I can make any decisions. My mom also wasn’t a catholic by birth. Is kinda different from Christianity in some ways but most of the doctrines and teachings are the same.

 

when I was 17-18 ish I realised that there’s no point going to the church because a lot of things are not really making much sense, like cannot prevent childbirth using condoms or birth control pills, or cannot jerk off (wa die la like that). I believe recently they were allowing the use of condoms to prevent the spread of HIV but I am not sure if it does mean anything.

 

Going back to the main point, for other stuff that makes you a good person, like being nice to other people or donating money to the poor (etc), is a lot about how you want to do it without having someone else tell you to do, it’s a little bit like how some stuff cannot be taught, like how to be a good person. 
 

For so many years I’ve seen my mom gone to church, I didn’t really see a change in her character or the way she does things, nor has she become smarter or tactful when it comes to interpersonal relationships. So honestly I don’t know why people still go to church anyway.

 

when I told myself I’m going to stop going to church, I’ll set some ground rules for myself on how I want to lead my life.

 

1. Don’t harm other people 

2. Don’t lie if possible for better or for worse 

3. Don’t do things that are harmful to yourself (excessive drinking or smoking or doing drugs etc)

 

So far I haven't kill anyone yet! So that's great right??? - just kidding.

 

P.S. I did come out to my mum aft BMT, she’s still in denial now.

Edited October 14, 2019 by feedersmiracle

[Steve5380]

19 hours ago, feedersmiracle said:

I’m a catholic by baptism and not by birth, so I had the ceremony done when I was about 6 yo, very young before I can make any decisions. My mom also wasn’t a catholic by birth. Is kinda different from Christianity in some ways but most of the doctrines and teachings are the same.

 

when I was 17-18 ish I realised that there’s no point going to the church because a lot of things are not really making much sense, like cannot prevent childbirth using condoms or birth control pills, or cannot jerk off (wa die la like that). I believe recently they were allowing the use of condoms to prevent the spread of HIV but I am not sure if it does mean anything.

 

Going back to the main point, for other stuff that makes you a good person, like being nice to other people or donating money to the poor (etc), is a lot about how you want to do it without having someone else tell you to do, it’s a little bit like how some stuff cannot be taught, like how to be a good person. 
 

For so many years I’ve seen my mom gone to church, I didn’t really see a change in her character or the way she does things, nor has she become smarter or tactful when it comes to interpersonal relationships. So honestly I don’t know why people still go to church anyway.

 

when I told myself I’m going to stop going to church, I’ll set some ground rules for myself on how I want to lead my life.

 

1. Don’t harm other people 

2. Don’t lie if possible for better or for worse 

3. Don’t do things that are harmful to yourself (excessive drinking or smoking or doing drugs etc)

 

So far I haven't kill anyone yet! So that's great right??? - just kidding.

 

P.S. I did come out to my mum aft BMT, she’s still in denial now.

 

We are all Catholics by baptism, there is no other way... I had it done shortly after birth, so I didn't give my consent either.   People in Catholic countries baptize their babies right away because of the FEAR of the creature dying and not being able to go to heaven,  but having to linger in limbo  (this holding place has been closed lately).

 

I was a little younger when I realized that the religion did not make any sense, but...   I kept this to myself during the 9 years I spent in Catholic schools 

I am much in agreement with the ground rules you set for yourself.  I have simplified them for myself with one rule:  don't victimize living creatures, including myself.

But I see progress in people going to church: their brains become more and more clean as they get washed out.

[blowmenow]

On 10/14/2019 at 8:39 AM, feedersmiracle said:

I’m a catholic by baptism and not by birth, so I had the ceremony done when I was about 6 yo, very young before I can make any decisions. My mom also wasn’t a catholic by birth. Is kinda different from Christianity in some ways but most of the doctrines and teachings are the same.

 

when I was 17-18 ish I realised that there’s no point going to the church because a lot of things are not really making much sense, like cannot prevent childbirth using condoms or birth control pills, or cannot jerk off (wa die la like that). I believe recently they were allowing the use of condoms to prevent the spread of HIV but I am not sure if it does mean anything.

 

Going back to the main point, for other stuff that makes you a good person, like being nice to other people or donating money to the poor (etc), is a lot about how you want to do it without having someone else tell you to do, it’s a little bit like how some stuff cannot be taught, like how to be a good person. 
 

For so many years I’ve seen my mom gone to church, I didn’t really see a change in her character or the way she does things, nor has she become smarter or tactful when it comes to interpersonal relationships. So honestly I don’t know why people still go to church anyway.

 

when I told myself I’m going to stop going to church, I’ll set some ground rules for myself on how I want to lead my life.

 

1. Don’t harm other people 

2. Don’t lie if possible for better or for worse 

3. Don’t do things that are harmful to yourself (excessive drinking or smoking or doing drugs etc)

 

So far I haven't kill anyone yet! So that's great right??? - just kidding.

 

P.S. I did come out to my mum aft BMT, she’s still in denial now.

wats BMT?

[Guest Guest]

35 minutes ago, blowmenow said:

wats BMT?

 

so obvious you not local....

 

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, Guest Guest said:

 

so obvious you not local....

 

 

Wouldn't it have been easier and nicer to just write that BMT = basic military training?

[yag123123]

5 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Wouldn't it have been easier and nicer to just write that BMT = basic military training?

Agree

[LeanMature]

It's also very obvious that the stated location is Penang.

[Guest Armpits]

On 10/16/2019 at 4:31 AM, LeanMature said:

It's also very obvious that the stated location is Penang.

Singapore should do this????

[Guest Try and see]

On 10/14/2019 at 8:39 AM, feedersmiracle said:

I’m a catholic by baptism and not by birth, so I had the ceremony done when I was about 6 yo, very young before I can make any decisions. My mom also wasn’t a catholic by birth. Is kinda different from Christianity in some ways but most of the doctrines and teachings are the same.

 

when I was 17-18 ish I realised that there’s no point going to the church because a lot of things are not really making much sense, like cannot prevent childbirth using condoms or birth control pills, or cannot jerk off (wa die la like that). I believe recently they were allowing the use of condoms to prevent the spread of HIV but I am not sure if it does mean anything.

 

Going back to the main point, for other stuff that makes you a good person, like being nice to other people or donating money to the poor (etc), is a lot about how you want to do it without having someone else tell you to do, it’s a little bit like how some stuff cannot be taught, like how to be a good person. 
 

For so many years I’ve seen my mom gone to church, I didn’t really see a change in her character or the way she does things, nor has she become smarter or tactful when it comes to interpersonal relationships. So honestly I don’t know why people still go to church anyway.

 

when I told myself I’m going to stop going to church, I’ll set some ground rules for myself on how I want to lead my life.

 

1. Don’t harm other people 

2. Don’t lie if possible for better or for worse 

3. Don’t do things that are harmful to yourself (excessive drinking or smoking or doing drugs etc)

 

So far I haven't kill anyone yet! So that's great right??? - just kidding.

 

P.S. I did come out to my mum aft BMT, she’s still in denial now.

 

I think the unique aspect about Catholicism is the rule that if you jerk off, you need to confess to the priest before you're allowed to receive Communion. Of course, I'm sure many Catholics (both straight and gay) ignore this rule, but the more serious and devoted ones will actually obey it.

 

Same with watching porn and basically all sexual sins. Which I can imagine would make it very hard for a Catholic who is struggling with same-sex attraction. And it doesn't help that some (or many?) priests would verbally bash and condemn the poor guy for jerking off or watching porn. It's difficult enough to confess such things to a total stranger, and then to be bashed for it every week.

 

 

So I can understand why a gay person who made not even be sexually active would drop out of the Catholic Church after a decade or less. You'd feel like there is no place for you in the Church.

 

And who looks forward going to Mass every Sunday or Feast day only to be judged, condemned and criticised for behaviour and inclinations that you didn't ask for?

 

 

If you need a less judgemental religion to follow which teaches you to do good and respect others, or if you are looking for a spirituality that does not single out your same-sex attraction for bashing but still has centuries of rich teaching and culture, then Taoism is a good alternative to those who are burnt and weary of the Catholic Church's bashing of your same-sex attraction.

 

And if you need help when you got problems, Taoism has plenty of deities who have helped people for centuries, same like how Our Lady of Perpetual Succour helps people who pray to her at Novena Church.

 

 

 

 

Taoism does not condemn a person for being gay, although it will caution and advise against a wanton sexually promiscuous lifestyle that might be exhausting and hurtful to yourself and others.

 

Taoist priests don't pry into your personal life and demand to know how many times you jerked off since your last confession, etc.

You get the point  😜

 

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, Guest Try and see said:

 

I think the unique aspect about Catholicism is the rule that if you jerk off, you need to confess to the priest before you're allowed to receive Communion. Of course, I'm sure many Catholics (both straight and gay) ignore this rule, but the more serious and devoted ones will actually obey it.

 

Same with watching porn and basically all sexual sins. Which I can imagine would make it very hard for a Catholic who is struggling with same-sex attraction. And it doesn't help that some (or many?) priests would verbally bash and condemn the poor guy for jerking off or watching porn. It's difficult enough to confess such things to a total stranger, and then to be bashed for it every week.

 

So I can understand why a gay person who made not even be sexually active would drop out of the Catholic Church after a decade or less. You'd feel like there is no place for you in the Church.

 

And who looks forward going to Mass every Sunday or Feast day only to be judged, condemned and criticised for behaviour and inclinations that you didn't ask for?

 

If you need a less judgemental religion to follow which teaches you to do good and respect others, or if you are looking for a spirituality that does not single out your same-sex attraction for bashing but still has centuries of rich teaching and culture, then Taoism is a good alternative to those who are burnt and weary of the Catholic Church's bashing of your same-sex attraction.

 

And if you need help when you got problems, Taoism has plenty of deities who have helped people for centuries, same like how Our Lady of Perpetual Succour helps people who pray to her at Novena Church.

 

Taoism does not condemn a person for being gay, although it will caution and advise against a wanton sexually promiscuous lifestyle that might be exhausting and hurtful to yourself and others.

 

Taoist priests don't pry into your personal life and demand to know how many times you jerked off since your last confession, etc.

You get the point  😜

 

 

It is not very intelligent to leave a religion because its mandates are hard to follow.  We are born and educated into a religion, and this makes people believe in it.   The honest reason to leave a religion is to do it because of loss of faith in it.  

 

If a person loses faith in his native religion,  it does not take much intelligence to realize that other religions are not much more believable.  If one researches the living religions and chooses the one that is the easiest to follow,  this is a lack of moral values,  and any God in any religion will not be fooled by such immoral person.

 

I gave up the practice of Catholicism because I never believed in its doctrine.  Why would I take up Taoism just because it is more tolerant of sexual activities?  If I am not convinced of the existence of the God Jesus Christ, what would convince me of the reality of the Taoist deities? 

[Guest Try and see]

25 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

It is not very intelligent to leave a religion because its mandates are hard to follow.  We are born and educated into a religion, and this makes people believe in it.   The honest reason to leave a religion is to do it because of loss of faith in it.  

 

If a person loses faith in his native religion,  it does not take much intelligence to realize that other religions are not much more believable.  If one researches the living religions and chooses the one that is the easiest to follow,  this is a lack of moral values,  and any God in any religion will not be fooled by such immoral person.

 

I gave up the practice of Catholicism because I never believed in its doctrine.  Why would I take up Taoism just because it is more tolerant of sexual activities?  If I am not convinced of the existence of the God Jesus Christ, what would convince me of the reality of the Taoist deities? 

 

It's not for everyone, I guess.

 

There are gay Catholics who like the spirituality they find in Catholicism, and will remain Catholics forever, even if they can't reconcile with its teachings on sexuality.

 

And of course, there are gay ex-Catholics like yourself who prefer not to be fettered by any religion or spirituality. That's fine.

 

But there are gay people who, if they leave the Catholic Church, will feel a great spiritual void in them, and they're afraid that once outside of the Church, they will be left without spiritual help. To such people, I am recommeding that they explore Taoism. It won't be an easy transition, and there will be some ex-Catholics who, after exploring, might never find anything about Taoism that they like.

That's fine also.

 

I don't think it's nice to judge people (who cannot accept Catholic teaching on sexuality) for changing religion and say that they are immoral and that their immorality would not fool God. That's exactly the kind of self-righteous remarks from some Christians that I believe you won't like to hear too.

 

I'm just here to offer hope and an alternative to gay Catholics who are hurt by their Church, and who want to leave but still wish to have a spirituality to fall back on.

 

 

[Steve5380]

19 minutes ago, Guest Try and see said:

 

It's not for everyone, I guess.

 

There are gay Catholics who like the spirituality they find in Catholicism, and will remain Catholics forever, even if they can't reconcile with its teachings on sexuality.

 

And of course, there are gay ex-Catholics like yourself who prefer not to be fettered by any religion or spirituality. That's fine.

 

But there are gay people who, if they leave the Catholic Church, will feel a great spiritual void in them, and they're afraid that once outside of the Church, they will be left without spiritual help. To such people, I am recommeding that they explore Taoism. It won't be an easy transition, and there will be some ex-Catholics who, after exploring, might never find anything about Taoism that they like.

That's fine also.

 

I don't think it's nice to judge people (who cannot accept Catholic teaching on sexuality) for changing religion and say that they are immoral and that their immorality would not fool God. That's exactly the kind of self-righteous remarks from some Christians that I believe you won't like to hear too.

 

I'm just here to offer hope and an alternative to gay Catholics who are hurt by their Church, and who want to leave but still wish to have a spirituality to fall back on.

 

 

Maybe I have some self-righteousness but I still think that to make a choice of organized religion based on its easiness to follow is to fool oneself.

 

You seem to mention two distinctive options:  to have a religion or renounce to spirituality.  I think that spirituality is much more than a religion.  To have a religion is usually interpreted as to follow an organized religion, with its doctrine and rule.   But religiousness is a feeling that exists in all of us,  and it does not need to be tied to any history, any belief.  One can be an atheist or an agnostic and have a rich spirituality.  Spirituality is to reflect on our existential issues,  to recognize and follow our conscience,  to possess feelings of empathy, compassion, love. It is to adopt philosophies and principles, like a golden rule, and follow them with sincerity instead of acting out of desire for recompense and fear of punishment from some God. With such spirituality,  any gay can evaluate his sexual acts purely on moral principles and not on laws imposed by some divinity.  A person without religion can still have a strong spiritual guide that brings happiness throughout his life.

[TPYmuscle69]

On 7/16/2018 at 12:00 PM, LeanMature said:

Safe to come home ?  What kind of question is this ?  So lame.

 

Agreed. And who was it that made it unsafe in the first place? 

[Guest Try and see]

On 8/30/2020 at 11:37 AM, Steve5380 said:

I gave up the practice of Catholicism because I never believed in its doctrine.  Why would I take up Taoism just because it is more tolerant of sexual activities?  If I am not convinced of the existence of the God Jesus Christ, what would convince me of the reality of the Taoist deities? 

 

I am not asking you (or every single gay Catholic/ex-Catholic, for that matter) to convert to Taoism.

 

If you wish to disparage Christianity or Catholicism because the Church has hurt you in the past, or because you don't believe in it, I have no comments. 

 

But please leave Taoism out of your insults.

 

Thank you.

[Steve5380]

31 minutes ago, Guest Try and see said:

 

I am not asking you (or every single gay Catholic/ex-Catholic, for that matter) to convert to Taoism.

 

If you wish to disparage Christianity or Catholicism because the Church has hurt you in the past, or because you don't believe in it, I have no comments. 

 

But please leave Taoism out of your insults.

 

Thank you.

 

I don't "insult" religions in my comments about them.  I describe them.  If this description is insulting to some, this is not my fault.  

 

If you feel insulted because I don't believe in the reality of the Taoist deities,  you should do some introspection and analyze why you are so insecure about this religion.  Otherwise, Taoism does not need the approval of any single individual.  It simply needs the approval of a society to continue in existence.