How do you know if a relationship has reached it’s end?

[Charmedguy]

Been with my partner for almost 4 years now. Decided to move in together and been staying together for 3 years. Relationship has plateaued and conversations are minimal. He works on a schedule and i work office hours. His off days ars my working days and vice versa. 

 

Recently he has been requesting to work even on his off days with the excuse to earn more. 

 

Now the ultimate questions is whether the relationship has reach its ending point?

[Guest Blank]

I guess after many years, you can't expect love to be fresh and exciting like it first was. Sometimes we just need a companion to grow old together. At least both of you are staying together. 

 

My bf and I are about 4years and I definitely don't feel the love as sweet as how we first met. Nevertheless I know he still loves me a lot 

[Charmedguy]

Just now, Guest Blank said:

I guess after many years, you can't expect love to be fresh and exciting like it first was. Sometimes we just need a companion to grow old together. At least both of you are staying together. 

 

My bf and I are about 4years and I definitely don't feel the love as sweet as how we first met. Nevertheless I know he still loves me a lot 

It’s different. We used to do everything together. Like laundry, cook, clean, etc. Recently, he got a part time helper to come over every week. But having said that. We lost that communication. He still calls when he lands overseas etc. But conversations don’t really feel genuine.

[fab]

When u experience 怨憎会苦 i.e. u become very irritated by whatever he does. 

 

[Guest True to yourself]

Just move on when you no longer enjoy each other’s company. I assume sex is now few and far between and mostly quickies? I assume no more morning kisses and much less the passionate tongues fighting kisses now? If so, time to move on and find someone else. 

[doncoin]

Sometimes it is good to go see a couples' counsellor just to get your relationship that recharge that spark. The challenge with LTR is that yes, it will reach that plateau if you allow it to. It takes work to keep a relationship going. It is not just simply sex, but also the emotional needs. 

 

A counsellor's job is to be that referee, and may asked you to write down and share with each other what made you fall in love with each other in the first place. How and what do you think are the reasons that caused the relationship to plateaued besides the working hours. 

 

You may want to consider doing activities like taking a romantic weekend away together. Organized a weekly date night together. You've got to make the effort with your schedule and adjust. 

 

If it is sex, you may want to consider doing things to spice it up. Get new sexy underwear. Text him photos through out the day and sharing your sexual fantasies of what you would like him to do to you and vice versa. If you are both comfortable and secure with each other, consider a 3some, or explore something new you have both never done before- i.e. light bondage, role play... be imaginative and creative. 

Edited July 16, 2018 by doncoin

[Guest Blank]

1 hour ago, Charmedguy said:

It’s different. We used to do everything together. Like laundry, cook, clean, etc. Recently, he got a part time helper to come over every week. But having said that. We lost that communication. He still calls when he lands overseas etc. But conversations don’t really feel genuine.

 

Any reason why you guys are not doing things together? Why not ask him don't do extra ot so that both of you have more time with each other. It's not like you two need so much money too. Relationship is hard to find. I've been looking for so long and finally came along someone who genuinely loves me, so I assume the same goes for you. 

 

All relationship will one day reaches a plateau. Look at our parents, grandparents, friend's parents etc. They're all the same, less sparks but still comfortable having each other around. It takes great effort and a lot of sacrifices to be with each other for many decades.

 

Maybe both of you can find a common hobby, learn a language, try a new skill to do together on a weekly basis. Or swimming or gym together. Even doing art like drawing painting together is fun too. Please don't get a dog unless both of you can really take good care of it for 20years. Reason: My cousin and his gf got a dog, end up break off and the dog has nobody to love anymore. 

[LeanMature]

8 hours ago, Charmedguy said:

Been with my partner for almost 4 years now. Decided to move in together and been staying together for 3 years. Relationship has plateaued and conversations are minimal. He works on a schedule and i work office hours. His off days ars my working days and vice versa. 

 

Recently he has been requesting to work even on his off days with the excuse to earn more. 

 

Now the ultimate questions is whether the relationship has reach its ending point?

 

He is working on his off days to earn more so that he can engage a part-time helper to lighten your cooking and cleaning chores.  What have you done to cheer up your partner who is working 7 days a week ?

[PL4Y]

7 minutes ago, LeanMature said:

He is working on his off days to earn more so that he can engage a part-time helper to lighten your cooking and cleaning chores.

 

Wait.... Are you both... Together?

[Guest Glyph]

seems like you guys are still on talking terms but just keeping communication to the bare minimum? why not initiate one over a cuppa and get things sorted out from there? but if even that is unachievable then at least you'll arrive to the answer of your question?

[lightsmith32]

Plateau does happen a little here and there. But if goes on for too long its time to move on ...

[Charmedguy]

10 hours ago, Guest Blank said:

 

Any reason why you guys are not doing things together? Why not ask him don't do extra ot so that both of you have more time with each other. It's not like you two need so much money too. Relationship is hard to find. I've been looking for so long and finally came along someone who genuinely loves me, so I assume the same goes for you. 

 

All relationship will one day reaches a plateau. Look at our parents, grandparents, friend's parents etc. They're all the same, less sparks but still comfortable having each other around. It takes great effort and a lot of sacrifices to be with each other for many decades.

 

Maybe both of you can find a common hobby, learn a language, try a new skill to do together on a weekly basis. Or swimming or gym together. Even doing art like drawing painting together is fun too. Please don't get a dog unless both of you can really take good care of it for 20years. Reason: My cousin and his gf got a dog, end up break off and the dog has nobody to love anymore. 

I guess its more of the comfort with each other. But like apart from that, there is just a minimum conversation instead of an in-depth one

[Charmedguy]

2 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

He is working on his off days to earn more so that he can engage a part-time helper to lighten your cooking and cleaning chores.  What have you done to cheer up your partner who is working 7 days a week ?

I dont mind him working on his off days just to earn more, and of course he could do it... an engaging a part time helper is paid by the both of us. And in terms of what I’ve done? Little things like waiting at the airport just to fetch him, help him with his packing and iron his uniform

[bigdanbeam]

I hope you both dont have joint bank accounts or shared property. These will only complicate things later

[Ironrod]

-

 

 

Edited July 19, 2018 by Ironrod
nothing

[LeanMature]

4 hours ago, PL4Y said:

 

Wait.... Are you both... Together?

 

I m not that lucky to have a partner of 4 years and staying together. 

[AskMeNot]

Perhaps both of you can try to plan different things to do together in advance? Break the monotony.

[LeanMature]

2 hours ago, Charmedguy said:

I dont mind him working on his off days just to earn more, and of course he could do it... an engaging a part time helper is paid by the both of us. And in terms of what I’ve done? Little things like waiting at the airport just to fetch him, help him with his packing and iron his uniform

 

Good.  So you think he should reciprocate all the good that you had done for him? Once you start to compare why he is not loving you the way that you think he should, then this will be the beginning of the end. 

[repressednerd]

If you start going to the sauna on days where he’s not around, maybe it’s time to reconsider where you want to go.

[fab]

When u r crying more than smiling.

 

[Ben Ben Ben]

Ignored means not interested

sound sad but it’s hard truth 

[Guest I feel you]

You don't feel easily irritated by each other

You still smile stupidly at certain pictures

 

communication can be kept minimal  because there isn't much to talk about, as long you feel comfortable in the silence? End of the day, you are not a psychic, just ask him how is it going. There are many ways to approach this but do in in the form you think best to touch on this 

[Guest Blank]

On 7/17/2018 at 11:31 AM, Charmedguy said:

I guess its more of the comfort with each other. But like apart from that, there is just a minimum conversation instead of an in-depth one

 

Really depends on how both of you want things to continue in future. Someone commented his rs only cools down at the 15th year mark, but you haven't even crossed 4th year yet. Maybe take things for granted, maybe love not enough

 

My friend and his bf are together for about 10years but they're still fine. Probably you two need to see how much this rs is worth. What I can say is that finding new love will not be easy. Even when found, 4years later you might still come to this situation once again :/

 

Rs doesn't maintain by itself, just like friendship doesn't automatically become closer too. Hope these words could help you as it's sad to see a rs gone just like that. Seen many friends broke up after 2-3years, seems like the challenge is always present in any rs

[Friendly]

Its sad to read things like this but can never get the real story of what happen and what when wrong. L.O.V.E stands for Lots Of Voluntary Efforts.. We (my bf and me) believe in giving each other the freedom and time to do what we like. Always try to be contented and encourage instead of complains or make remarks.. Suggestion are always welcome and to think positive of what your partner is doing is very important.. The worst thing is to get jealous and the best is to appreciate one another. Sharing is also very important. Never make things difficult for one another and learn not to be selfish. I am not a very good writer but i speak what comes my mind base on facts and down to earth happening. Best wishes for all couples out there.

[LeanMature]

1 hour ago, Lumbakuda said:

Lucky meh. He started to complain le

 

Just like some people complaining of no money to buy new shoes, when others walk with no legs.  

[Guest Xctvx]

What if I don't even feel like having sex e my bf but still can communicate like family member .....is it normal 

[Friendly]

43 minutes ago, Guest Xctvx said:

What if I don't even feel like having sex e my bf but still can communicate like family member .....is it normal 

It happens.. but you can do something about it like suggestion to go JB for a night stay in the hotel and have sex there.. or go somewhere where you know he will like and enjoy with him then go home and have sex.. or do new experience like giving each other coconut oil massage then have sex.. there are countless things you can do .. Think positive. Sometime actions are better then words.. just talking about it does nothing and worst things may turn ugly.

[Rice60640]

It seems like I always say the same thing. TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. What do we know?  We are outsiders?  We don’t know you and we don’t know him. All we hear is your side of the story. Be brave. Talk to him. If you feel like the relationship has plateaued then tell him. Don’t tell us. We don’t care. Maybe he thinks everything is fine.  Talk to him. Work it out. If it is going to end at least it is both your decision. 

[Guest What do you think?]

On 7/17/2018 at 12:00 AM, Guest Blank said:

I guess after many years, you can't expect love to be fresh and exciting like it first was. Sometimes we just need a companion to grow old together. At least both of you are staying together. 

 

My bf and I are about 4years and I definitely don't feel the love as sweet as how we first met. Nevertheless I know he still loves me a lot 

4 years of relationship and you don't know?  Your bf is not "our" bf, your situation is not "our" situation. Who could fully understand, so we don't know, do we?  To tell you the truth might hurts you and it may not be the truth according to your bf.  To tell you the false, not be false and end up wronging you or your bf.  Spare us the trauma to speculate what lies between you and your bf.  Thank you for your understanding.

[Guest Blank]

2 hours ago, Guest What do you think? said:

4 years of relationship and you don't know?  Your bf is not "our" bf, your situation is not "our" situation. Who could fully understand, so we don't know, do we?  To tell you the truth might hurts you and it may not be the truth according to your bf.  To tell you the false, not be false and end up wronging you or your bf.  Spare us the trauma to speculate what lies between you and your bf.  Thank you for your understanding.

 

What do you mean I don't know? Read again before you bark. I'm replying to Charmedguy. 

 

What do you know? You're just shouting senseless comment here that nobody appreciates. Bet you're single and alone. Everyone here with a rs knows exactly what we're talking about except the lonely you looking behind this very screen

[koolkai]

On 7/16/2018 at 11:55 PM, Charmedguy said:

Been with my partner for almost 4 years now. Decided to move in together and been staying together for 3 years. Relationship has plateaued and conversations are minimal. He works on a schedule and i work office hours. His off days ars my working days and vice versa. 

 

Recently he has been requesting to work even on his off days with the excuse to earn more. 

 

Now the ultimate questions is whether the relationship has reach its ending point?

 

After a few years, life will be mundane and will be like any straight married couple living under the same roof but having different dreams. Quite difficult to have those "courtship" days again and you may feel like having a friend living with you. I was told by many straight married couples that after a few years, they have hardly anything to talk to each other and the way to sustain the marriage is to have children and they simply revolve their lives around the children and not on each other.  In a gay relationship, it is very fragile as you can sustain a relationship by having children and you really need to have that "loving feeling" to feel that you are in a relationship. Once that feeling dies, both people tend to drift apart and eventually lead separate lives unless both of you have a common goal to achieve. 

[IkuTube]

On 7/16/2018 at 11:55 PM, Charmedguy said:

Been with my partner for almost 4 years now. Decided to move in together and been staying together for 3 years. Relationship has plateaued and conversations are minimal. He works on a schedule and i work office hours. His off days ars my working days and vice versa. 

 

Recently he has been requesting to work even on his off days with the excuse to earn more. 

 

Now the ultimate questions is whether the relationship has reach its ending point?

 

 

With respect, what made you think that the relationship might have reached its ending point?  Even if it is so, do you not want to salvage it? 

 

Do not throw something so easily when you have taken years to build.  Four years is considerably a long time.  When the dust has settled (so to speak), it is normal to feel that a “relationship has plateaued and conversations are minimal”.  This is the comfort zone.  This is where a couple starts to feel comfortable just being with each other and without much verbal communication.

 

Communication, at this stage, becomes subtle yet meaningful.  Only you can distinguish it.  These simple non-verbal communications can be more significant:

 

-         His smile

-         His touch

-         His inching closer to you

-         His looking at you

-         Him making you a drink

-         Him wanting to earn the extra income

 

 

Perhaps, you are not used to his quiet side.  Perhaps, it is making you feel insecured.  Yes, I am assuming here and forgive me should it be the case.  Give these some thought and reach out to him if they are so.  Share with him how you actually feel.  After 4 years, there should be more acceptance, trust and minimal judgement.

 

As often said, do not allow comfort zone be too comforted.  We should not always be taking things for granted.  It is always good, once in a while, to talk about things.  Especially when life is always evolving.

 

 

[Friendly]

Cannot agreed more to IkuTube , well written and points noted with thanks.. My bf is back from work.. me going to give him a kiss and cook dinner for him lor..cheers

[Guest Guest]

11 hours ago, Lumbakuda said:

Yeah..yr concern is always property n bank balance...come on..he is talking abt relationship.

 

I agree.  He is just a calculative person making sure what he gives must come back to him equal or more.

[Charmedguy]

Wow that’s alot of comments. Well guys, we had a talk over dinner. He apologised for treating me differently and that he acknowledges the fact that things changed. Maybe it was my fault not to ask him if things were ok. But we’re working on it now and to bring back the relationship to where it was. 

 

And no, we don’t have a shared account and we don’t plan to. 

 

Thanks all for the advise and comments (except a few who totally don’t deserve the thanking) 

[tomcat]

been with my partner since 2011, had many obstacles and plateaus.

 

i suppose i do more of the work to check in with him regularly,

since our jobs changed recently, our routine means we spend almost every day together.

 

my issues are largely placed on trying to improve ourselves

mentally, spiritually, physically, and i can get impatient.

I am also highly sensitive and aware, 

something which i have finally accepted of myself,

so now i utilise it to talk about issues before they

become major problems.

it is hard work, because sometimes 

the topic is hard and not really easy to broach

but i will bite the bullet and do it for the health of the relationship.

 

sometimes, with your loved ones you have a shorter fuse.

or you feel safe to do all your emotional sommersaults,

which you learn to keep in place with other people.

 

over the years, we have had fights and make-ups.

patterns of behaviour which takes many cycles to break

and once broken, reminding each other to be humble enough

to make sure they do not repeat. that is also constant work.

i am sure those in long term relationships know  what this refers to,

even without specifically naming things.

in fact, the "things" could be different for each couple.

our little victories we celebrate together, 

and i am really proud of him, and i hope he is of me too.

i can honestly say that he is the person closest to me,

and me to him.

 

i believe we have come so far, and improved ourselves

from our life together that we have changed tremendously,

in achieving our goals together as well.

life goals, retirement, finance, down time, spirituality

 

sometimes i do have to remind him that i wont be around forever,

maybe i might be taken sooner than i imagine,

but i hope that our lessons we learn together have helped

him to be a better and stronger individual.

 

even if i was gone, i would want him to be happy and healthy

not miserable and pining or broken down.

i would feel massive failure as a partner if that was the case.

so for me,  i will know the relationship has come to an end,

if there is no more concern for the well being of the other.

even if i was gone, he will still be my world,

and the last thought in my mind. 

 

[Guest Blank]

2 hours ago, tomcat said:

been with my partner since 2011, had many obstacles and plateaus.

 

i suppose i do more of the work to check in with him regularly,

since our jobs changed recently, our routine means we spend almost every day together.

 

my issues are largely placed on trying to improve ourselves

mentally, spiritually, physically, and i can get impatient.

I am also highly sensitive and aware, 

something which i have finally accepted of myself,

so now i utilise it to talk about issues before they

become major problems.

it is hard work, because sometimes 

the topic is hard and not really easy to broach

but i will bite the bullet and do it for the health of the relationship.

 

sometimes, with your loved ones you have a shorter fuse.

or you feel safe to do all your emotional sommersaults,

which you learn to keep in place with other people.

 

over the years, we have had fights and make-ups.

patterns of behaviour which takes many cycles to break

and once broken, reminding each other to be humble enough

to make sure they do not repeat. that is also constant work.

i am sure those in long term relationships know  what this refers to,

even without specifically naming things.

in fact, the "things" could be different for each couple.

our little victories we celebrate together, 

and i am really proud of him, and i hope he is of me too.

i can honestly say that he is the person closest to me,

and me to him.

 

i believe we have come so far, and improved ourselves

from our life together that we have changed tremendously,

in achieving our goals together as well.

life goals, retirement, finance, down time, spirituality

 

sometimes i do have to remind him that i wont be around forever,

maybe i might be taken sooner than i imagine,

but i hope that our lessons we learn together have helped

him to be a better and stronger individual.

 

even if i was gone, i would want him to be happy and healthy

not miserable and pining or broken down.

i would feel massive failure as a partner if that was the case.

so for me,  i will know the relationship has come to an end,

if there is no more concern for the well being of the other.

even if i was gone, he will still be my world,

and the last thought in my mind. 

 

 

First, you can't even type in a proper paragraph. Secondly, you don't support pinkdot. So I'm very sure your bf will break up with you one day. Long winded, insensitive and basically live in your own world. I will dump such a person immediately

[tomcat]

53 minutes ago, Guest Blank said:

 

First, you can't even type in a proper paragraph. Secondly, you don't support pinkdot. So I'm very sure your bf will break up with you one day. Long winded, insensitive and basically live in your own world. I will dump such a person immediately

 

 

Maybe your phone or desktop is not calibrated the same way as mine? It may look truncated but surely not as messed up as your mind, dear stalker.

 

But thank you all the same for stalking my posts. I feel honoured! But pls stop it, otherwise I call police. 

 

 

[Guest Blank]

6 hours ago, tomcat said:

 

 

Maybe your phone or desktop is not calibrated the same way as mine? It may look truncated but surely not as messed up as your mind, dear stalker.

 

But thank you all the same for stalking my posts. I feel honoured! But pls stop it, otherwise I call police. 

 

 

 

I don't stalk you. I merely came in here to check out on ts and in case you deliberately missed out. I'm the first one who replied to him. Unfortunately for me, what I see is your boring storytelling and it is not making any logical sense. Old senile man, you need to see a doctor seriously, nobody knows what you're babbling about. 

 

Once again, you should be checking on your own phone or desktop for the truncated sentences. Don't assume it's always others having the problem, while the very problem is yourself. 

 

[Leanmeat]

I guess if 2 person no longer look forward to seeing each other or doing things together it says something?

[Guest Truth]

Most gay relationship wont last, for straight its the child that usually binds both sides even when the interest and sex drive has died down. The not so responsible ones will divorce leading to emotional trauma for the kids. For gay one can easily find a new partner via grindr or jackd to fuck or fool around with.

[Guest Thereisexit69]

I was in similar situation and we ended in separate lives now. The silence was deafening. Clearly he lost interest but can’t say it. It didn’t mean he found someone else but he got tired in our relationship. He said I was too good for him. He is still single and I found another one very recently when completely moved on and healed. Communication is the key to a long lasting relationship.

[fab]

When he unfriends you....

 

on Facebook.

[Steve5380]

On 7/21/2018 at 10:52 PM, Guest Truth said:

Most gay relationship wont last, for straight its the child that usually binds both sides even when the interest and sex drive has died down. The not so responsible ones will divorce leading to emotional trauma for the kids. For gay one can easily find a new partner via grindr or jackd to fuck or fool around with.

 

For straights, children should not be the binding force. Today divorce is easy. There has to be a deeper and more selfish force.  

We gays are not much different.  No decent relationship is broken because "one can easily find a new partner to fuck or fool around with".

If the urge to fuck around is so great,  this is what relationships with different degrees of openness are there for.

 

 

On 7/19/2018 at 10:25 PM, tomcat said:

been with my partner since 2011, had many obstacles and plateaus.

 

my issues are largely placed on trying to improve ourselves

mentally, spiritually, physically, and i can get impatient.

I am also highly sensitive and aware, 

something which i have finally accepted of myself,

so now i utilise it to talk about issues before they

become major problems.

it is hard work, because sometimes 

the topic is hard and not really easy to broach

but i will bite the bullet and do it for the health of the relationship.

 

sometimes, with your loved ones you have a shorter fuse.

or you feel safe to do all your emotional sommersaults,

which you learn to keep in place with other people.

 

over the years, we have had fights and make-ups.

patterns of behaviour which takes many cycles to break

and once broken, reminding each other to be humble enough

to make sure they do not repeat. that is also constant work.

 

sometimes i do have to remind him that i wont be around forever,

maybe i might be taken sooner than i imagine,

but i hope that our lessons we learn together have helped

him to be a better and stronger individual.

 

even if i was gone, i would want him to be happy and healthy

not miserable and pining or broken down.

i would feel massive failure as a partner if that was the case.

so for me,  i will know the relationship has come to an end,

if there is no more concern for the well being of the other.

even if i was gone, he will still be my world,

and the last thought in my mind. 

 

 

It is easy to treat our beloved one not as good as we treat strangers.   It should be smart  to try to still treat each other like at the time when dating.

 

A long term relationship confronts the idea that one will have to survive the other.  And it is not always the younger one who survives.

I have had the experience that my 20 years younger bf left first.  And I am glad that it was not the other way around since I would not have wished him that.

The one who leaves first passes away in peace.  The one who survives must deal with the grieving.  It is better that the stronger one puts the weaker one to rest.

.

 

Edited July 29, 2019 by Steve5380

[Guest Fatty]

When both of you communicate through lawyers 

[Fridays]

when both of you see each other invisible

when less talking,not doing thing together and less sharing.

 

meeting friend more often

surf porn more

 

it took me 1 years to realise his love gone to others but i choose to forgive him to accept his bf.

 

unfortunately they say too crowded in their bed.

 

official being Dump return key and walk out of home with mrt card.

 

re look back :  actually i m gain the priceless "freedom" then the label "attached to someone" "partner" "bf"...etc.

 

i thought i won't be happy forever

a loser

a fail person

it took awhile to erase off the negative label.

 

well life is full of uncertainty,

just try you best to accept the love is over, for the own good and practice to remember it and become less difficult to deal with it.

 

Now : i recuperate , stop hibernate and seek for true love.

 

 

[Guest sean]

On 7/16/2018 at 11:55 PM, Charmedguy said:

Been with my partner for almost 4 years now. Decided to move in together and been staying together for 3 years. Relationship has plateaued and conversations are minimal. He works on a schedule and i work office hours. His off days ars my working days and vice versa. 

 

Recently he has been requesting to work even on his off days with the excuse to earn more. 

 

Now the ultimate questions is whether the relationship has reach its ending point?

This type of question very funny...... how does one knows if the relationship is coming to an end ?  

Reverse engineering - how does one know u like that person ?  

 

 

[LeanMature]

4 hours ago, Fridays said:

when both of you see each other invisible

when less talking,not doing thing together and less sharing.

 

meeting friend more often

surf porn more

 

it took me 1 years to realise his love gone to others but i choose to forgive him to accept his bf.

 

unfortunately they say too crowded in their bed.

 

official being Dump return key and walk out of home with mrt card.

 

re look back :  actually i m gain the priceless "freedom" then the label "attached to someone" "partner" "bf"...etc.

 

i thought i won't be happy forever

a loser

a fail person

it took awhile to erase off the negative label.

 

well life is full of uncertainty,

just try you best to accept the love is over, for the own good and practice to remember it and become less difficult to deal with it.

 

Now : i recuperate , stop hibernate and seek for true love.

 

 

 

Not the return key, press the delete key and empty the trash bin. 

[Guest eating chips alone]

16 hours ago, Guest Fatty said:

When both of you communicate through lawyers 

 

Must not be , there is always room for a reconciliation.

 

But I bet, the relationship has mostly come to end, when the other partner (ex?) doesn't respond to you further, doesn't agree in any meeting with you and if on the majority you sleep alone at nights, end up chewing the chips alone in front of the tv.

Other signals might be the key on the dining table or elsewhere or posted in a letter back to you, once you come home from a trip or work, being outstationed or anything else.

In fewer cases, when you find your suitcase in front of your (ex-) partners flat once you come back to the supposed home and the door is locked with new keys and nobody is responding even if you shout at the door.

[Steve5380]

22 hours ago, Guest eating chips alone said:

 

Must not be , there is always room for a reconciliation.

 

But I bet, the relationship has mostly come to end, when the other partner (ex?) doesn't respond to you further, doesn't agree in any meeting with you and if on the majority you sleep alone at nights, end up chewing the chips alone in front of the tv.

Other signals might be the key on the dining table or elsewhere or posted in a letter back to you, once you come home from a trip or work, being outstationed or anything else.

In fewer cases, when you find your suitcase in front of your (ex-) partners flat once you come back to the supposed home and the door is locked with new keys and nobody is responding even if you shout at the door.

 

There is always room for conversation, which can lead to reconciliation.

 

The other scenarios are unbecoming of civilized persons. 

Are there problems with the relationship?  The other side may not realize them.  Talk with your partner.

Can the problems be resolved?  If yes, do it.  If no, discuss how to go from there and go there.

Separations should happen in mutual agreement, and understanding each other's reasons to do so.