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Am I Scary?


Guest Old Story

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Guest Old Story

Someone once told me that I am a scary person. He wanted to stop seeing me for the next few months. And we didn't see each other again after that.

We were quite close together as friends. We went out together often. Three to five times a week, we would meet after work for meals and stay over at his rented place. I was more free back then. I would go out with him to help him get stuff or wait for him to finish his training session. We also went overseas three months after knowing each other.

During and after the trip, I was angry at him probably to a greater extent than I should be. I quarrelled with him over WhatsApp over two issues mainly. In the midst of these, I also told him I liked him and tossed out the idea of dating him officially. He felt uncomfortable with this changing side of me. He said this is "scary" at the end of our conflict. Then, he requested to stop seeing me for a few months. And I never saw him again.

For the next few months, I was very sad and was always trying to communicate with him again.

Now, I wished I never would have to go through this kind of hurtful and undignified experience again. If only I had not believed his sweet actions... Because he was a player from his veins... He still is now...

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5 hours ago, Guest Old Story said:

Someone once told me that I am a scary person. He wanted to stop seeing me for the next few months. And we didn't see each other again after that.

We were quite close together as friends. We went out together often. Three to five times a week, we would meet after work for meals and stay over at his rented place. I was more free back then. I would go out with him to help him get stuff or wait for him to finish his training session. We also went overseas three months after knowing each other.

During and after the trip, I was angry at him probably to a greater extent than I should be. I quarrelled with him over WhatsApp over two issues mainly. In the midst of these, I also told him I liked him and tossed out the idea of dating him officially. He felt uncomfortable with this changing side of me. He said this is "scary" at the end of our conflict. Then, he requested to stop seeing me for a few months. And I never saw him again.

For the next few months, I was very sad and was always trying to communicate with him again.

Now, I wished I never would have to go through this kind of hurtful and undignified experience again. If only I had not believed his sweet actions... Because he was a player from his veins... He still is now...

 

A player does not want someone too clingy , and sticky in case some better quality meat comes along.

 

Only females can get away with being too clingy and sticky .  Female are expected to be the weaker sex and need to be nurtured.

 

which one are u ?

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6 hours ago, Guest Old Story said:

Someone once told me that I am a scary person. He wanted to stop seeing me for the next few months. And we didn't see each other again after that.

We were quite close together as friends. We went out together often. Three to five times a week, we would meet after work for meals and stay over at his rented place. I was more free back then. I would go out with him to help him get stuff or wait for him to finish his training session. We also went overseas three months after knowing each other.

During and after the trip, I was angry at him probably to a greater extent than I should be. I quarrelled with him over WhatsApp over two issues mainly. In the midst of these, I also told him I liked him and tossed out the idea of dating him officially. He felt uncomfortable with this changing side of me. He said this is "scary" at the end of our conflict. Then, he requested to stop seeing me for a few months. And I never saw him again.

For the next few months, I was very sad and was always trying to communicate with him again.

Now, I wished I never would have to go through this kind of hurtful and undignified experience again. If only I had not believed his sweet actions... Because he was a player from his veins... He still is now...

 

You live and you learn. Based on your story, it seems like you've also screwed up a little bit. Take it as a learning experience.

Cherish whatever you have and start moving on.

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15 minutes ago, iwannac said:

 

You live and you learn. Based on your story, it seems like you've also screwed up a little bit. Take it as a learning experience.

Cherish whatever you have and start moving on.

 

I second your advice. The most valuable experiences come at some price, and the TS didn't pay too high a price.  Now he should not feel angry or bitter but go on finding a new relationship after he learned to not get angry and quarrel.  And to not tell the partner that he does not want to date him officially, if he cares to date him. 

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Guest Angryman
10 hours ago, Guest Old Story said:

Someone once told me that I am a scary person. He wanted to stop seeing me for the next few months. And we didn't see each other again after that.

We were quite close together as friends. We went out together often. Three to five times a week, we would meet after work for meals and stay over at his rented place. I was more free back then. I would go out with him to help him get stuff or wait for him to finish his training session. We also went overseas three months after knowing each other.

During and after the trip, I was angry at him probably to a greater extent than I should be. I quarrelled with him over WhatsApp over two issues mainly. In the midst of these, I also told him I liked him and tossed out the idea of dating him officially. He felt uncomfortable with this changing side of me. He said this is "scary" at the end of our conflict. Then, he requested to stop seeing me for a few months. And I never saw him again.

For the next few months, I was very sad and was always trying to communicate with him again.

Now, I wished I never would have to go through this kind of hurtful and undignified experience again. If only I had not believed his sweet actions... Because he was a player from his veins... He still is now...

 

Dont blame it all on him. You have a part to play and change too. If you do not change, it's likely similar situation will happen to you again next time. 

 

Being angry to a greater extend than you should can sometimes cause damage greater than what you think it does. And such damage could be permanent. 

 

 Based on what you write, it's hard for us to understand the full picture. But is not surprising that he will find you scary if you get angry easily. 

 

Of course, he could be at fault too. If his intention was just to play initially but didn't make his intention clear to you. Or cheat your feelings. But then again, its an assumption that you made. 

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I think the scary part of you surface when you began to fall in love with him. The fights and fallout with him is because of your possessiveness. You were angry with him as you realised that he is a player and your love for him means nothing to him.

 

Being a little possessive is not actually a problem IF both of you are in a relationship, but it's different when you are only friends, that is the scary part. 

Your biggest problem for you is don't know how to draw the line on what is consider friends or lover.

 

In any relationship, a little possessiveness is ok, but when possessiveness overtakes logic that is too much. No ones wants to know an illogical person. I am sure if you had the arguments recorded, you might see how illogical you might had been to your friend.

 

You are not ready for a relationship because Love is NOT equal to possessiveness. 

 

Love is trust, understanding, compromising and forgiving. (in that order)

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A very one sided affair. Based on your story, no where he showed any interest in u. Much as both of u spent much time together, he could be treating u as a friend only. 

 

The scary part is your confession during the midst of quarrels. Just exactly what were u thinking of?

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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Guest TS Old Story
17 hours ago, iwannac said:

 

You live and you learn. Based on your story, it seems like you've also screwed up a little bit. Take it as a learning experience.

Cherish whatever you have and start moving on.

I did screw up and have picked up the pieces. Thank you for your kind thoughts and advice.

 

17 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I second your advice. The most valuable experiences come at some price, and the TS didn't pay too high a price.  Now he should not feel angry or bitter but go on finding a new relationship after he learned to not get angry and quarrel.  And to not tell the partner that he does not want to date him officially, if he cares to date him. 

Indeed, after things are said and done, what is left is to learn from the past. The wound heals and the scar remained serves as a reminder of the pain and not to repeat the same experience again in the future. It is a biological reaction and forms a psychological defense.

13 hours ago, Guest Angryman said:

 

Of course, he could be at fault too. If his intention was just to play initially but didn't make his intention clear to you. Or cheat your feelings. But then again, its an assumption that you made. 

It was a mixture of unclear signal from his side and his constant showing of affection in ways that only couples do. I reciprocated at a similar level, which made me more involved in the thing that was going on between us. I wished I stopped myself earlier or be more measured with my feelings towards him back then.

11 hours ago, GachiMuchi said:

1. You were angry with him as you realised that he is a player and your love for him means nothing to him.

 

2. Your biggest problem for you is don't know how to draw the line on what is consider friends or lover.

 

3. Love is trust, understanding, compromising and forgiving. (in that order)

(The numbering only act as signposts for my replies... Hope you don't mind.)

1. It was an emotional journey from trusting him that we were very good friends no matter what happens to doubting him if he was a player. We were very close to the point where we told each other how comfortable we were with each other and that we were only going out with each other in most of our free time. Back then, I still cherished him as a good friend more than anything else.

 

2. Truth to be told, he and I didn't draw the line. We didn't discuss the topic of relationship because like you said we were nothing more than friends and also he rejected when I took a chance to confess my feelings. But he continued his usual level of affection, which, honestly speaking, only couples show. (I prefer to keep the details private... I'm sorry.) But I know what my baseline is. That is, I just wanted him and I to continue to be good friends for a long time. So, when he suddenly disappeared and reappeared in the least expected way (and confirming he is just a player), I was angry at his absurd disappearance back then.

 

3. I can't agree more. Always trust and not let suspicions cloud the mind. Understand yourself first before trying to understand others. Compromise on what can be achieved and what cannot. Forgive yourself and make peace with the past. These are what I took away from this experience.

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Guest TS Old Story

Anyway, people come and go. Paths meet and diverge. There is no end to thinking about people of the past. What matters is to meet new people and create new experience.

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Guest guestsober

So punny! Sounds you are a pai ka ji. Acting like you are gaining priorty of being bossy. People are just been kind and courteous, if not you thought someone would want to aknowledge what you and who you are.

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On 10/15/2018 at 12:54 PM, Guest Old Story said:

----

Now, I wished I never would have to go through this kind of hurtful and undignified experience again. If only I had not believed his sweet actions... Because he was a player from his veins... He still is now...

 

It surely is a painful experience.  But why  "undignified" ?

Being rejected should not damage YOUR dignity,  it may damage the dignity of the one who rejected you.

We all get plenty of rejection, implicit and explicit, it happens to the most worthy.

Hopefully you are willing to risk having such pain again by cultivating other relationships.

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Guest Old Timer

I met someone similar. He's the one who chased me and I gave in. After having sex a few times, I thought we could be a pair. Imagine my dismay when he rejected me.

 

Comparing market value, I was above him and he knew it. I told him since he don't want to be in a relationship, then we are no more friends. He blocked me after that, it's like telling me he don't value me at all. But after awhile, he started checking me out on social media again. I told him not interested. He blocked me again after that. 

 

After awhile, he again checked me out. I ignored him this time but did not bother to block him.

I noticed that he's quite active on social media but he's not actively liking or commenting on others pages. He thinks he's very popular and chased by many so he acted aloof.

Yet he kept chasing me. If I reciprocate, he thinks he's too good for me. If I ignored him,then he started to chase me. Sometimes when he sees me, he'll avoid me but I know he's secretly tracking me through the distance shown on social media.

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23 minutes ago, Guest Old Timer said:

 

After awhile, he again checked me out. I ignored him this time but did not bother to block him.

----

Yet he kept chasing me. If I reciprocate, he thinks he's too good for me. If I ignored him,then he started to chase me. Sometimes when he sees me, he'll avoid me but I know he's secretly tracking me through the distance shown on social media.

 

People like him are not necessarily bad but their inexperience makes them undesirable.

If they last long enough to get older, then they eventually become reasonable.

Don't be the one who helps him gain experience at your cost.

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2 hours ago, HydroNaut said:

I always believe.. 被爱是幸福的,爱人是痛苦的。 (To be Loved is easer than to Love).

 

 

被你爱的人爱是幸福的,爱不爱你的人是痛苦的。

 

被对人爱是幸福的,爱错人是痛苦的。

 

相爱是幸福,一厢情愿是痛苦。

 

 

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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Guest didn't understand
22 hours ago, Guest TS Old Story said:

I did screw up and have picked up the pieces. Thank you for your kind thoughts and advice.

 

Indeed, after things are said and done, what is left is to learn from the past. The wound heals and the scar remained serves as a reminder of the pain and not to repeat the same experience again in the future. It is a biological reaction and forms a psychological defense.

It was a mixture of unclear signal from his side and his constant showing of affection in ways that only couples do. I reciprocated at a similar level, which made me more involved in the thing that was going on between us. I wished I stopped myself earlier or be more measured with my feelings towards him back then.

(The numbering only act as signposts for my replies... Hope you don't mind.)

1. It was an emotional journey from trusting him that we were very good friends no matter what happens to doubting him if he was a player. We were very close to the point where we told each other how comfortable we were with each other and that we were only going out with each other in most of our free time. Back then, I still cherished him as a good friend more than anything else.

 

2. Truth to be told, he and I didn't draw the line. We didn't discuss the topic of relationship because like you said we were nothing more than friends and also he rejected when I took a chance to confess my feelings. But he continued his usual level of affection, which, honestly speaking, only couples show. (I prefer to keep the details private... I'm sorry.) But I know what my baseline is. That is, I just wanted him and I to continue to be good friends for a long time. So, when he suddenly disappeared and reappeared in the least expected way (and confirming he is just a player), I was angry at his absurd disappearance back then.

 

3. I can't agree more. Always trust and not let suspicions cloud the mind. Understand yourself first before trying to understand others. Compromise on what can be achieved and what cannot. Forgive yourself and make peace with the past. These are what I took away from this experience.

 

I didnt understand how you can quarrel about whatsapp? What is there to quarrel about.

As I see the whole picture, he played with your feelings but you were always just a toy to satisfy his own lusts (and company).

If he had been a humble person from the start, he would have told you that he is not into a relationship instead of mixed feelings.

 

Nobody is scary from the onset if you confess your true feelings. It is just that you need to handle that the other part is not up to it.

People easily fall in love with me and I always made clear that there is nothing to be. But on times, some guys cannot get the act right and start stalking you or being more emotional than you want.

If you pull away, are you then to blame?

But sure there are these guys who like to give sweet words and leave people believing in something that never was  there and never will be.

You just need to test the limits with such guys. Like, no sex for 1 month. If they still contact you, then ok. Many who are only chasing your ass or dick, will not contact you again, once you paused the fun...

You must always try to discover the true person and not go by his words.

 

 

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Guest 付出代價
14 hours ago, fab said:

 

被你爱的人爱是幸福的,爱不爱你的人是痛苦的。

 

被对人爱是幸福的,爱错人是痛苦的。

 

相爱是幸福,一厢情愿是痛苦。

 

 

以前我以為女人才容易被男人用愛情騙上床。

男人老狗,他媽的,沒什麼好騙的吧。上了床又如何?又不會懷孕的。

誰知道遇到了他,甜言蜜語被騙上床,本來以為沒什麼的。誰知道被他的情情愛愛的床上私語,終於讓他無套佔有了我的不可告人的私處。

 

他就沾沾自喜的每個禮拜都要求交歡。我本來又以為自己不介意的。可是每次被他佔有了,看到自己的體內流著他的精液,開始感覺特別想要有個名分什麼的。

所以當他在我的體內射精的時候,我竟然說出, " 作為男人,我已經是什麼都給了你了。。。我希望你不是只是玩玩而已啊,不如我們一起吧?“

他竟然沒有回答我的話,只是笑笑不語,令我感覺尷尬又羞恥提出這種感情的話。

下個禮拜,他又提出要去開房。我說,“算了吧,如果你只是玩玩而已,我們就結束吧。” 結果他說見了面好說。抱著一點點希望,我去了。老實說我也不是什麼聖人,一見面就被他脫光光,還特別努力配合他要的姿勢,希望以性來取得他的歡心。

誰知道都他發洩完了就沒有提過這回事。我。。。看見自己在鏡子裡面的滿身淫液又屁股流滿他的精液,實在是羞愧難語。就這樣無結論。

 

下個禮拜,他又買好禮物送給我。我以為他會給我個驚喜。所以又讓他玩我的肉體。誰知道,他說那禮物是謝謝我的付出,可是他還年輕所以不想被綁死。他竟然說大家都是男人,玩玩也無所謂啦。

 

他媽的,當初是他追求我的時候說喜歡大叔,希望我給他機會認識我。我們本來就不玩10的,因為我也是1號。誰知道,他說要進一步發展感情,不如試一試10更加深入。本來我不肯的,可是那晚上他已經有計劃的,我沒有想到他請我喝酒弄到我沒有防備就讓他插入了。

 

他媽的,原來他是個玩家,什麼都是有計劃的。我以為男人老狗沒有必要什麼防備,畢竟又不會吃虧的。誰知道,男人老狗也會有感情的。一旦最後的防線被攻破了,嘗了最後防線的禁果,真的會難以自拔了。

 

做為個大男人,我又能說什麼呢?不像女人那樣可以哭哭鬧鬧吧?雖然我不常做0,可是操過我的男人不過3個。他是第一個親密關係到讓他無套射的男人,當時我想大叔也應該要潑出去了。結果讓他得逞了,他就貪得無厭的每次都弄到我也上了癮了。

沒有想到真的被他騙上床了,真的失身了,真的被騙了感情。

 

以後他再約,無論他用什麼招數,我也不會睬他了。人非草木,那些床上的假情假意會令人感情錯亂又受傷。一個大男人總是不想把自己的最私處給別人玩弄,總是要帶點哄哄騙騙的情情愛愛才放心。我不是說肉體上有吃虧,可是總是有點徬徨迷茫吧,就是尷尬又怪怪又開始渴望的種種矛盾。

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You're an adult.  Stop blaming the young man.  He's not scary,  you were the scary one and still are.  Not only that, you are a numbskull and a desperate slut. If someone don't desire to be with the real you, then you are just not good enough.

 

 

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Guest TS Old Story
On 10/17/2018 at 11:46 PM, Guest didn't understand said:

 

1. I didnt understand how you can quarrel about whatsapp? What is there to quarrel about.

 

2. Nobody is scary from the onset if you confess your true feelings. It is just that you need to handle that the other part is not up to it.

 

3. But sure there are these guys who like to give sweet words and leave people believing in something that never was  there and never will be. You just need to test the limits with such guys. Like, no sex for 1 month. If they still contact you, then ok. Many who are only chasing your ass or dick, will not contact you again, once you paused the fun...

You must always try to discover the true person and not go by his words.

 

 

1. I meant we quarreled in WhatsApp.

2. To be fair, it is my first time meeting someone like him. A person who sends mixed signals from the start and sees my messages as overreacting on some issues. I didn't stalk him or do anything to him at that point. Wouldn't a normal person be more wary of the boundaries from the start if he already knows the other guy is interested in him?

3. He complained about me and said his demand to stop seeing me for a while. Maybe we will meet some time (a few months) later. We didn't text each other in this period. It was a clean cut from him. Then really a few months later, I found two videos online of him having sex with another guy at his place (for sure) and at a hotel. Clearly, what he said about me were not true. He is lousy guy and just wanted a new guy to play with. He made me realise that trusting someone as untrustworthy as him is the most hurtful mistake that I did to myself.

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Guest TS Old Story
1 minute ago, Guest TS Old Story said:

 

2. To be fair, it is my first time meeting someone like him. A person who sends mixed signals from the start and sees my messages as overreacting on some issues. I didn't stalk him or do anything to him at that point. 

I did not stalk him or suggested to go on a date or tried to give presents. I did not want to force something onto him. I just wanted things to be normal, which we were already going out like normal after I confessed to him.

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1 hour ago, Guest TS Old Story said:

3. He complained about me and said his demand to stop seeing me for a while. Maybe we will meet some time (a few months) later. We didn't text each other in this period. It was a clean cut from him. Then really a few months later, I found two videos online of him having sex with another guy at his place (for sure) and at a hotel. Clearly, what he said about me were not true. He is lousy guy and just wanted a new guy to play with. He made me realise that trusting someone as untrustworthy as him is the most hurtful mistake that I did to myself.

 

Be happy that your experience didn't come with a high cost.  You lost some time, not to much, and lost HIM!

Good riddance!  What can you expect from a guy who posts online videos of himself having sex with some guy?

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one can come up with many many excuses for moving out of a relationship.

so whether he said u are scary or not, is secondary.

he just wasn't ready to go on either as it is, or going onto the next step with u.

and best not to take any relationship too seriously and just go with the flow

enjoy it while it lasts until u come to an inflexion point, whatever that point is -  better or worse.

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On 10/18/2018 at 5:12 AM, Guest 付出代價 said:

以前我以為女人才容易被男人用愛情騙上床。

男人老狗,他媽的,沒什麼好騙的吧。上了床又如何?又不會懷孕的。

誰知道遇到了他,甜言蜜語被騙上床,本來以為沒什麼的。誰知道被他的情情愛愛的床上私語,終於讓他無套佔有了我的不可告人的私處。

 

他就沾沾自喜的每個禮拜都要求交歡。我本來又以為自己不介意的。可是每次被他佔有了,看到自己的體內流著他的精液,開始感覺特別想要有個名分什麼的。

所以當他在我的體內射精的時候,我竟然說出, " 作為男人,我已經是什麼都給了你了。。。我希望你不是只是玩玩而已啊,不如我們一起吧?“

他竟然沒有回答我的話,只是笑笑不語,令我感覺尷尬又羞恥提出這種感情的話。

下個禮拜,他又提出要去開房。我說,“算了吧,如果你只是玩玩而已,我們就結束吧。” 結果他說見了面好說。抱著一點點希望,我去了。老實說我也不是什麼聖人,一見面就被他脫光光,還特別努力配合他要的姿勢,希望以性來取得他的歡心。

誰知道都他發洩完了就沒有提過這回事。我。。。看見自己在鏡子裡面的滿身淫液又屁股流滿他的精液,實在是羞愧難語。就這樣無結論。

 

下個禮拜,他又買好禮物送給我。我以為他會給我個驚喜。所以又讓他玩我的肉體。誰知道,他說那禮物是謝謝我的付出,可是他還年輕所以不想被綁死。他竟然說大家都是男人,玩玩也無所謂啦。

 

他媽的,當初是他追求我的時候說喜歡大叔,希望我給他機會認識我。我們本來就不玩10的,因為我也是1號。誰知道,他說要進一步發展感情,不如試一試10更加深入。本來我不肯的,可是那晚上他已經有計劃的,我沒有想到他請我喝酒弄到我沒有防備就讓他插入了。

 

他媽的,原來他是個玩家,什麼都是有計劃的。我以為男人老狗沒有必要什麼防備,畢竟又不會吃虧的。誰知道,男人老狗也會有感情的。一旦最後的防線被攻破了,嘗了最後防線的禁果,真的會難以自拔了。

 

做為個大男人,我又能說什麼呢?不像女人那樣可以哭哭鬧鬧吧?雖然我不常做0,可是操過我的男人不過3個。他是第一個親密關係到讓他無套射的男人,當時我想大叔也應該要潑出去了。結果讓他得逞了,他就貪得無厭的每次都弄到我也上了癮了。

沒有想到真的被他騙上床了,真的失身了,真的被騙了感情。

 

以後他再約,無論他用什麼招數,我也不會睬他了。人非草木,那些床上的假情假意會令人感情錯亂又受傷。一個大男人總是不想把自己的最私處給別人玩弄,總是要帶點哄哄騙騙的情情愛愛才放心。我不是說肉體上有吃虧,可是總是有點徬徨迷茫吧,就是尷尬又怪怪又開始渴望的種種矛盾。

好想认识你

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