Guest Whattodo Posted October 19, 2018 Report Share Posted October 19, 2018 Well well well.. seeing quite a lot of my friends broke up because whenever they encounter issue/obstacles in relationships they chose to give up instead of fighting for it . no wonder they say that gay relationship can never last Long than heterosexual Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoyo74 Posted October 19, 2018 Report Share Posted October 19, 2018 Gay relationship if they encounter issue and found that their partner not suitable to live forever together can break up fast but straight relationship if found wife not suitable to live forever have to endure on in misery due to their children. In this case gay relationship is much more better than straight relationship. fluffybunny 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aedile1234 Posted October 19, 2018 Report Share Posted October 19, 2018 I'm quite sure this claim is based on OP's personal generalized experienced, most probably anecdotal, and hardly empirical. But even if OP had done a legitimate survey, with a good and unbiased sample, I don't really see whats the problem. Being attached is not the same as being married. Unless the two of you made a commitment to stick together, in good and in bad till death do you part, there is no reason to fault any party for deciding they want to end. You can be sad about it, but I don't see why you think couples cannot break up. It's a relationship, not an oath or vow you exchanged with each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted October 19, 2018 Report Share Posted October 19, 2018 1 hour ago, aedile1234 said: I'm quite sure this claim is based on OP's personal generalized experienced, most probably anecdotal, and hardly empirical. But even if OP had done a legitimate survey, with a good and unbiased sample, I don't really see whats the problem. Being attached is not the same as being married. Unless the two of you made a commitment to stick together, in good and in bad till death do you part, there is no reason to fault any party for deciding they want to end. You can be sad about it, but I don't see why you think couples cannot break up. It's a relationship, not an oath or vow you exchanged with each other. Unless one believes that a God keeps some books up there with copy of the marriage licences of billions of humans, this commitment of sticking together in good and in bad till death do you part has little rationale. It could have been originated by men who felt they own their wives and wanted to make them stick with them even if they had collections of other lovers. The idea of putting up with bad marriages "for the children" is losing validity as it seems that children are better off when their parents divorce instead of being unhappy in marriages with constant fights. The one valid reason for a couple to stay together forever is a mutual unconditional love that brings them to the realization that they could not live happily without each other. And this is a force many times stronger than the signature on any marriage licence. It seems that to be able to reach this unconditional love we must pass through the pain of unsuccessful relationships. In a way it is good to have the freedom to end bad relationships until we have the fortune to find the decisive one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aedile1234 Posted October 19, 2018 Report Share Posted October 19, 2018 7 minutes ago, Steve5380 said: The one valid reason for a couple to stay together forever is a mutual unconditional love that brings them to the realization that they could not live happily without each other. And this is a force many times stronger than the signature on any marriage licence. Don't need to preach lah... I never mentioned any god or what... I said exchange an oath or vow with each other; that's all that matters, you and your partner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilfgene Posted October 19, 2018 Report Share Posted October 19, 2018 7 minutes ago, aedile1234 said: Don't need to preach lah... I never mentioned any god or what... I said exchange an oath or vow with each other; that's all that matters, you and your partner. Do spare some empathy (not sympathy) for the psyche, if not obsession One has absorbed. 19 minutes ago, Steve5380 said: Unless one believes that a God keeps some books up there with copy of the marriage licences of billions of humans, this commitment of sticking together in good and in bad till death do you part has little rationale. It could have been originated by men who felt they own their wives and wanted to make them stick with them even if they had collections of other lovers. The idea of putting up with bad marriages "for the children" is losing validity as it seems that children are better off when their parents divorce instead of being unhappy in marriages with constant fights. The one valid reason for a couple to stay together forever is a mutual unconditional love that brings them to the realization that they could not live happily without each other. And this is a force many times stronger than the signature on any marriage licence. It seems that to be able to reach this unconditional love we must pass through the pain of unsuccessful relationships. In a way it is good to have the freedom to end bad relationships until we have the fortune to find the decisive one. 与其相濡以沫 不如相忘於江湖 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest avoid bad gay friends Posted October 19, 2018 Report Share Posted October 19, 2018 It really depend on what kind of Gay friends who you mix with. For me I happily attached with my partner for more than 15 years and we are lucky to know a few gay couple friends who live together like us and have been together for a long time. Usually we keep our relationship very low profile and only hang out often with close circle of trusted gay friends. The secret is to keep away from those toxic gay friends who only love to gossips, always hang out at gay night clubs, like to tell the whole world who they meet in social gay app, always wanted to post their photos on facebook and instagram to get world attention, advocate open relationship (Total bull shit !) etc. These type of gay people are very bad influence ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted October 19, 2018 Report Share Posted October 19, 2018 3 hours ago, aedile1234 said: Don't need to preach lah... I never mentioned any god or what... I said exchange an oath or vow with each other; that's all that matters, you and your partner. But... can't I preach if I like to preach? I didn't say you mentioned a God. And I clarify that not even an exchanged oath or vow is necessary (I don't know who does that.) Often the ever lasting love is implicit, not brought out or formalized, and only realized retrospectively when death does part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Blank Posted October 20, 2018 Report Share Posted October 20, 2018 10 hours ago, Guest avoid bad gay friends said: It really depend on what kind of Gay friends who you mix with. For me I happily attached with my partner for more than 15 years and we are lucky to know a few gay couple friends who live together like us and have been together for a long time. Usually we keep our relationship very low profile and only hang out often with close circle of trusted gay friends. The secret is to keep away from those toxic gay friends who only love to gossips, always hang out at gay night clubs, like to tell the whole world who they meet in social gay app, always wanted to post their photos on facebook and instagram to get world attention, advocate open relationship (Total bull shit !) etc. These type of gay people are very bad influence ! How is friends going gay night clubs or posting photos on social media are classified as toxic or bad influence. I can understand the advocate of open relationship as toxic but not on the rest. A little gossip is fine, that's life and bound to have some like that so long they don't spread false gossips to accuse or tarnish the reputation of an innocent one Back to topic, I supposed the temptation for gays are really too strong. Even myself, I have to repeatedly remind to control and not give in to have fun with others. Sometimes I feel my bf isn't suitable for me as he didn't meet certain criteria. On the other hand, he is an understanding person who gives in to me. Perhaps I'm not loving him as much as he does in return. But we have been together for close to 5years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disgusted Posted May 31, 2020 Report Share Posted May 31, 2020 The problem lies when you develop a shallow personality, and all relationship = sex to you. For some, having relationship is more to get more likes on Instagram and Facebook. When you break up, you potentially get more likes too. Hence the relationship breaks apart easily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koolkai Posted June 1, 2020 Report Share Posted June 1, 2020 On 10/19/2018 at 8:08 PM, Guest Whattodo said: Well well well.. seeing quite a lot of my friends broke up because whenever they encounter issue/obstacles in relationships they chose to give up instead of fighting for it . no wonder they say that gay relationship can never last Long than heterosexual Gay relationship has always been very fragile in the past and till now. There is no strong foundation in gay relationship as compared to a straight relationship. In a straight relationship, the couple builds a family together and plan for the future (like having children, investments etc). In a gay relationship, it is usually built on "sexual attraction" and such relationship usually also gets no support from the the families and definitely not from the community at large. Hence, many gay people still remain singles as commitment is difficult and unless you can go beyond the physical attraction and appreciate the companionship of your partner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT2880 Posted June 1, 2020 Report Share Posted June 1, 2020 Going thru the opinions here... is kind of noticeable that Many gays feel is near to impossible to maintain a lasting relationship. Many are discreet with many worries and concern. Some Due to past unpleasant experiences became sceptical and overly defensive on their dates. I won't be talk about the initial dating here. Lets move to assuming that this hurdle is cleared. now it seems more promising when two individuals are mutually or at least one party (the other still ok) is physically attracted to the other and they agreed to be bfs. For the former couple, the good looks brings other problem, for one temptation outside can be hard to resist. For the latter, one partner wld tend to be more accommodating (self-sacrificing) then the other. Fatigue and not feeling appreciated would gradually sipped in. Unfortunately, these are not all. There are many more disruptive factors that wld come by. The odds are too tall. And eventually worn off the couple and they felt too tired to continue. Pretty pessimistic isn't it. There is however the optimism aspect. There are many couples who successfully maintained a healthy relationship. Is there a secret to their envious relationship? If ever you have a chance to talk to any of them, there aren't actually any secret. Generally, if you have a chance to speak to couples, those past 15 years in their relationship, their "secret" are actually pretty easy: 1. Communication. Not only in words that sound right to us. Interaction in all form and kind, which includes quarrels, disagreements, disapproval, disappointment, feedback and improvements, bad feelings and upsetting emotions, motivation and desire outcome. 2. Acceptance. Two total strangers, started off with some thing in common, hit it off. But then as time goes, differences surfaced. And it ballooned, More and more. Can't deal with the differences. Stop and Think about it, is nice to hv common interests and likings. But be prepared that the difference will be even significant, afterall we are two separate person living a different life until we hv that wonderful ons (i know not all started w ons, jus trying to spice up a bit here). And we hv to know and understand these differences. Thus, we need communication. 3. Respect. So couples in their honeymoon phase communicated and they found out many problems and wtf, I need to accept that these shitty problems aren't going to go away anytime soon. How to deal with that? By respecting, of course. Respect our partner's point of view and his concern. Listen first. Although we may not buy them at all, but the willingness to listen and respect creates a supportive and selfless effect on the relationship. Being together is not about Me, I and Mine. To explain: This is Me, whether you like it or not! I want you to change, why can't you? You are mine, i forbid that! All these would hurt the relationship more than helping it. 4. Care. This involves constant learning, unlearning and relearning. Many of you highlighted that nothing seems permanent. You are absolutely right! We are always changing. Change in our body, our needs, our thoughts, our family, our friends, our job, our wants, our goals, our preferences etc. Nothing is stagnant and fixed. Thus, what works in the past will become dated and we need to make sure we work on it to keep it fresh. So care to know the changes and to provide the care that matter to him most. Well, I hope my humble advice here provides some of you the courage and the right view to work on your relationship. Be aware and be mindful. When you done that right, and your relationship still didn't turned out the way you hope for. the the issue may not be us. For self-care apply the same approach to yourself, communicate, accept, respect and care yourself. Is time to let it go. Thank you for reading. Regards. aelwaien 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
practease Posted June 1, 2020 Report Share Posted June 1, 2020 Nowadays people give up relationship very easily I think the issue is not between in recent years or long ago, but why LGBTQ relationships appear more whim and fancy could be due to the fact that it is not recognised by society? If something cannot be taken as mainstream or even carry similar weight as what is deemed as regular relationships, could easily become as an excuse for throwing in the towel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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