Jump to content
Male HQ

Reasons to Move Out from parents


Guest Brainstorm

Recommended Posts

  • 2 years later...
On 6/14/2022 at 12:36 PM, Why? said:

When parents learn that their children are moving out, they are usually not particularly adaptable. Give them some time to acclimatize, and they'll soon appreciate having their own space, and your presence will become an inconvenience. 

 

This is very true

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My mum used to remind me that the house was under her name, thus, she was the law. And she used to challenge me to move out and have my own place so that I could run my own rules.

 

So one fine day, I really moved out to rent an apartment for myself for a year. I was happy and so relieved from her tyranny. She was naturally in disbelief and upset. I used the chance to educate her and let her understand that she was the one that needed me all along. Therefore, she needed to learn how to grow out and grow up as a mother.

 

She learnt her lesson. She never said those awful things to me ever again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

All good parents will understand that, not withstanding legal issues like their custody while they are minors, or economic reasons, or caretaking reasons, their decisions and wishes should prioritize the happiness of their children.  And simply say:   "you are an adult, we are self sufficient,  if you will be happier being on your own, then do it with our blessing."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Guest

Moving out will prove to all your friends and relatives(especially cousins around your age) that you are capable of managing your affairs as an adult. People will speak to you with respect once you make this giant move. 

 

I have seen so many oldies in their 50s, 60s and even 70s still living under the roof of their parents without a care. Spending all the waking hours cruising in mall, enjoying in sauna both local and overseas (mainly in Bangkok).

 

For these type of character, once someone or colleague discuss anything pertaining to marital or real estate, their facial expression will turn awkwardly shameful. That's my observation. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/6/2022 at 5:03 AM, Guest Guest said:

I have seen so many oldies in their 50s, 60s and even 70s still living under the roof of their parents without a care. Spending all the waking hours cruising in mall, enjoying in sauna both local and overseas (mainly in Bangkok).

 

When their home is a joint possession with their parents, how can you expect these people to move out?  As far as I'm aware, HDB does not let Singaporeans to own two HDBs. I find nothing wrong with them spending their "ME TIME" wherever they wanted to go temporarily, including the mall, a sauana. It is best to save your judgment for Singapore's more important issues, such housing inflation, unemployment, immigration, etc., which are real causes for concern, rather than comparing office politics.

Edited by Why?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Moving out of your parents' house can be motivated by the same factors as breaking up with your boyfriend, quitting your job, or moving abroad.  You desired to discover your niche, explore new opportunities, avoid constraint, and take pleasure in freedom.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Brainstorm

I'm the TS. Since the thread revived, let me give a quick update.

 

Fast-forward three years, I earned enough to buy an apartment (still not old enough for an HDB).

 

It was during covid CB period, so I had a lot of time in the house with my family and we spent lots of time talking about all sorts of things. We love talking about properties and I mentioned how cheap property prices became (during that period) and how I needed to take opportunity to buy one at that price. 

 

They are supportive but suggested I rent out instead of staying there on my own. But I just said I'm over 30 and if I don't get married, it shouldn't mean that I'll stay with them forever. Plainly, I just want independence (live on my own and decide daily things myself). I thought this is the silliest excuse, but even though my parents disagree, they were not very against it.

 

Maybe it's the process of them shopping for the house together with me. I took their views and comments, and chose location near their place. They felt involved and empowered, rather than abandoned. 

 

Guess what? They even bought some house warming gifts for me~

 

For those who want to move out, every parent is different. But the psychology is the same. Make them feel involved, that they are part of the consideration in your decision making process. I guess it will help!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/10/2022 at 2:48 PM, Guest Brainstorm said:

I'm the TS. Since the thread revived, let me give a quick update.

 

Fast-forward three years, I earned enough to buy an apartment (still not old enough for an HDB).

 

It was during covid CB period, so I had a lot of time in the house with my family and we spent lots of time talking about all sorts of things. We love talking about properties and I mentioned how cheap property prices became (during that period) and how I needed to take opportunity to buy one at that price. 

 

They are supportive but suggested I rent out instead of staying there on my own. But I just said I'm over 30 and if I don't get married, it shouldn't mean that I'll stay with them forever. Plainly, I just want independence (live on my own and decide daily things myself). I thought this is the silliest excuse, but even though my parents disagree, they were not very against it.

 

Maybe it's the process of them shopping for the house together with me. I took their views and comments, and chose location near their place. They felt involved and empowered, rather than abandoned. 

 

Guess what? They even bought some house warming gifts for me~

 

For those who want to move out, every parent is different. But the psychology is the same. Make them feel involved, that they are part of the consideration in your decision making process. I guess it will help!

 

 That's a lovely story and I envy you for having such a lovely and warm relationship with your parents.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/10/2022 at 12:48 PM, Guest Brainstorm said:

I'm the TS. Since the thread revived, let me give a quick update.

 

Fast-forward three years, I earned enough to buy an apartment (still not old enough for an HDB).

 

It was during covid CB period, so I had a lot of time in the house with my family and we spent lots of time talking about all sorts of things. We love talking about properties and I mentioned how cheap property prices became (during that period) and how I needed to take opportunity to buy one at that price. 

 

They are supportive but suggested I rent out instead of staying there on my own. But I just said I'm over 30 and if I don't get married, it shouldn't mean that I'll stay with them forever. Plainly, I just want independence (live on my own and decide daily things myself). I thought this is the silliest excuse, but even though my parents disagree, they were not very against it.

 

Maybe it's the process of them shopping for the house together with me. I took their views and comments, and chose location near their place. They felt involved and empowered, rather than abandoned. 

 

Guess what? They even bought some house warming gifts for me~

 

For those who want to move out, every parent is different. But the psychology is the same. Make them feel involved, that they are part of the consideration in your decision making process. I guess it will help!

 

 

I am very happy for your that things worked out positively.

I think it was a very good idea to involve your parents in the property shopping process.  Indeed, they would have felt involved and empowered.  In addition, I think they would have felt proud that their child was able to take a (in their eyes) very adult decision in the form of the purchase (and therefore a firm commitment) of a property. 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Guest

Move out - Let the world know that you are an independent adult with backbone. You can still be a filial child with frequent parents visit. Cut your spending in saunas/clubbing, entertainment at Golden Mile Complex, Bangkok sex trip and lady boy clothing and invest in a HDB for your security during your twilight years. 

 

For those with low income, get a 2nd job. The supplementary income will make things possible.

 

I know of many 50s oldies who are still leeching on their parents and have no idea what a SP utility bill look like. When ask why have they not move out yet, putting on a brave front, they will give a typical response,,,,,,, "I am not interested in SG property because of such and such policies and as such I am considering buying a condo in Bangkok" and then start showing the condo sales brochure collected in the past 15 years !!!!!!!! They are still considering till today and will continue to do so knowing their heck-care attitude.

 

Make a move. Don't be like them when you are in your 50s.

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Most people will decide to live close to their parents in order to prevent their parents from feeling wholly abandoned.  If I choose to retire, I'm hoping to live in a 2-room BTO with a shorter lease, near Changi Village and spend the rest of my days by the beach. On the other hand, the persistent sound of the plane overhead can be annoying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Ericka

I moved out sometime back to be independent and I think the break is good not just for you but your parents.

 

I think it helps them remind themselves that they are individual people and that they too can do things for themselves versus the family unit.

 

Being independent is great and has many perks including yes socialising and dating. And yes a test run for how things will look like when you are alot older, when you family is gone.

 

I am actually moved back recently to be closer to family cause at the end of the day they are what matters. Doesn't mean I won't move out again but definitely for something i own especially in this bullish property market.

 

Do it! Experience new things. I secretly think my mom hated when I moved back but she respects my personal space alot more now. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Guest

I always encourage anyone to buy own place whenever possible instead of renting. Many tenants now are at the mercy of landlord when contract is up for renewal. Current economic and geopolitical conditions will ensure prices and rental to stay high into the foreseeable future. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest fresh7up

As for me, my parents kind of indirectly ask me to move out. It started with my dad selling our old house to buy a BTO. I told him why not take a 4-room BTO and share the flat ownership with me. I have a younger brother 10 years junior. So I was thinking I could get my own room, my younger brother another room and my parents the master bedroom.

But my dad said that he doesn't want to share ownership and prefer to get a 3-room for himself. He bought our old flat for around $26k back in the 80s and sold it 10x the cost in 2017. So he basically want the profit money which its up to him. But what I was thinking is to take care of them if they grow old. At least I will be living with them but I didn't tell them that definitely.

So cut the story short, 2017 the year I turn 35, I apply for a 2-room BTO but my queue no. was very high and I didn't get a chance to choose a unit.

A year later, 2018 I applied again at Sengkang Rivervale Shore and got a 2-digit queue no. I am happy I get to choose a favorable unit. 

I am 40 this year and am still waiting for collection of my flat keys (most probably next year as stated in HDB website) as construction got delay due to covid.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...