Guest Uneasy Posted February 13, 2021 Report Share Posted February 13, 2021 What if You Never Find ‘The One’? By Heidi Priebe on Wednesday October 26th, 2016 Daring to Ask the Forbidden Question Imagine something crazy for me, quickly. What if you peered into a fortune ball right now – this very second, today – and saw with indisputable clarity that you were never going to meet the love of your life? That’s a sad thing that I’m asking you to think of, I’m aware. You’ve been hoping to meet “The One” for a while now – or at least someone half-decent who you can deal with for the rest of your life. I know, I know. You’re not fanciful like everyone else. You don’t believe in soul mates. But you were expecting to meet someone you liked a fair amount. Someone to curl up next to at the end of a long day, who would take care of you when you got sick and listen to your stories every evening after work. We all hope for that. We’re human. Because here’s the thing about finding love – it affects us constantly. And we all loathe admitting it, but love is on the forefront of our actions, even when it’s not on the forefront of our minds. It’s the reason you bought those new jeans last week. It’s the reason you went to that barbecue that you didn’t want to go to last weekend. It’s the reason you sometimes feel cripplingly insecure and inadequate and scared about everything that’s coming next. Love is what inspires most of your greatest changes. Love is on the forefront of our actions, even when it’s not on the forefront of our minds. What Would Change? So if you knew, with indisputable certainty, that love was never going to be yours, how would you live your life differently? What about your daily routine would you alter? What about your long-term plans? Your first inclination may be to say “nothing.” After all, you’re a smart person. You have plans that don’t involve someone else’s influence. We all do. But ponder it a few moments more. Because here’s what we don’t want to admit about love: it is a crutch that we use all the time. The idea that someday somebody will love all our flaws is a subtle excuse not to work on them. The principle of two halves making a whole restrains us from becoming our own better half. We want someone to swoop in during our darkest hour and save us, but what if we knew they never would? We’d have to start doing everything differently. If you knew that love would never be an option for you, what would be? How would you structure the rest of your life? Would it have a heavier focus on career, a stronger inclination toward success? Or would you use the time to invest in yourself – go on a few more vacations, travel further outside your comfort zone? If you knew that you would never again feel the rush of budding romance, where would you turn to for your thrills? How would you get your blood pumping? And what about your other relationships – would they suddenly take on more weight? Would you spend more time appreciating your family, if you knew that they are the people who will have loved you the most strongly at the end of your life? What about your friendships? Would you nurture and care more for the people who love you platonically if you knew that nobody would ever love you romantically? Would you show up a little more often, share a little more of your life? Would you show up a little more often, share a little more of your life? Embracing the Freedom My inclination is to believe that never finding love would be a game-changer for most of us. One we’d initially consider to be devastating but may eventually realize is the ultimate liberation. Without the fear of ending up alone, the opportunities open to you would become endless. You could live on every continent. You could scale the corporate ladder. You could go back to school and get that degree you’ve always felt interested in, without worrying about the financial burden your debt may place on somebody else. Love holds us back in an infinite amount of subtle ways that perhaps we do not even realize. And the guarantee of its absence may just be the ultimate sense of liberation. Because if we didn’t have to search for the love of our lives, we would finally be free to realize that we are allowed to be the loves of our own. That we can spend our lives developing ourselves, challenging ourselves, pampering ourselves and building ourselves up to be bigger, more capable people than we ever once hoped to become. We could become everything we’ve been searching for. We could construct our soul mates in ourselves. We could become everything we’ve been searching for. What You Need to Do If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for. Live your life as if you are the love of it. Because that’s the only thing you know for sure – that through every triumph, every failure, every fear, and every gain that you will ever experience until the day you die, you are going to be present. You are going to be the person who shows up to accept your rewards. You are going to be the person who holds your own hand when you’re broken. You are going to be the person who gets yourself up off the floor every time you get knocked down and if those things are not love-of-your-life qualities, I don’t know what are. We have to start appreciating all that we bring to our own lives. Because the ironic truth is, you are most attractive when you’re not worried about who you’re attracting. When you’re living your life confidently, freely, and without restraint, you emit the kind of energy that it just isn’t possible to fake. The kind of energy that’s capable of transforming, not just your own life, but the lives of people around you. So stop looking for ‘The One’ to spend the rest of your life with. Be ‘The One’. And let everybody else come searching for you. ~~~~ Read Next: How to Hold Space for Yourself Featured Image: Ana Luísa Pinto How do you feel about this article? Join the conversation. Words By Heidi Priebe Originally posted on Ideaspots https://upliftconnect.com/what-if-you-never-find-the-one/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FattChoy Posted February 13, 2021 Report Share Posted February 13, 2021 (edited) So basically this article is about the losers who can't find one's partner and what to do about it. Sort of a Plan B. Wahahaha... 😆😆😆. Personally, I feel her (boring) words are meant for WOMEN. (Probably ugly women.... real and fake ones). You're better off listening to Eagle's Desperado Edited February 13, 2021 by FattChoy upshot 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auscent Posted February 14, 2021 Report Share Posted February 14, 2021 What if? Go on living. And a good life too! mate69 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted February 14, 2021 Report Share Posted February 14, 2021 "the one" is a myth. In reality it is "the many". Couldn't we find a large percentage of acquaintances or strangers who could become our partners? I think that at least 1 in 10 gays I have known could have made a good partner, given the circumstances. And at least 1 out of 10 women who befriended me could have become my wife. Let's be honest. It is not necessary that the stars of the zodiac align in a perfect way for us to find a partner. More important is the interest and willingness to find love, even if a little compromise is necessary. And if there is not this interest and willingness, where is the problem? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Real issues Posted February 14, 2021 Report Share Posted February 14, 2021 3 hours ago, Steve5380 said: if there is not this interest and willingness, where is the problem? No sex. The greatest human problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted February 14, 2021 Report Share Posted February 14, 2021 9 hours ago, Guest Real issues said: No sex. The greatest human problem. You wrote a good punch line. But rather than "greatest", it is at most "one of the" Illness is much worse than lack of sex. And how about self-sex? Don't we have two hands, a second one in case the first one gets tired? And those who are into it, don't they have wonderful collections by Tenga? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate69 Posted February 14, 2021 Report Share Posted February 14, 2021 Lots of people never ever find "the one" but still live their lives purposefully and productively. Not ever finding "the one" is way better than finding and settling for/with the "wrong one". yuquidam 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caindukker Posted February 14, 2021 Report Share Posted February 14, 2021 I consider myself already having 'the one'. But sometimes I wondered what if I didn't. My conclusion, I would be leading a very different life, but still as great as the one I have now. People always think being single is sad and lonely. I just think they're stupid. Lol. There's pros and cons in both being with someone and being single. Just enjoy whatever you have. Either way life is fun when you make it fun. Rocket_ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Derelict Posted February 15, 2021 Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 Have a 3some - Me, Myself and I. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FattChoy Posted February 15, 2021 Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted February 15, 2021 Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 Find a zero. yuquidam and milky_boi 1 1 Quote 鍾意就好，理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yuquidam Posted February 15, 2021 Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 Or find a minus one (-1) keke milky_boi and fab 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yuquidam Posted February 15, 2021 Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 (edited) 20 hours ago, mate69 said: Lots of people never ever find "the one" but still live their lives purposefully and productively. Not ever finding "the one" is way better than finding and settling for/with the "wrong one". Hahaha...yes. The "one" can make your life a heaven on earth or a life ruined by hell fire on earth yo. Edited February 15, 2021 by yuquidam milky_boi, mate69 and Cube3 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yuquidam Posted February 15, 2021 Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 (edited) The harder you try to find the one the harder the one will try to FLY away. So don't have to find the one. When the right time comes the one will find you to be his one..LOL Edited February 15, 2021 by yuquidam Rocket_ and fab 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted February 15, 2021 Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 3 minutes ago, yuquidam said: The harder you try to find the one the harder the one will try to run away. So don't have to find the one. When the right time comes the one will find you to be his one..LOL Especially the butterfly ones. yuquidam and milky_boi 1 1 Quote 鍾意就好，理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yuquidam Posted February 15, 2021 Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 (edited) 34 minutes ago, fab said: Especially the butterfly ones. Oh yeah...beautiful to behold but difficult to hold (on)...🤪 OK, better "GET BACK TO THE TOPIC!" LOL Edited February 15, 2021 by yuquidam Rocket_, milky_boi and fab 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate69 Posted February 15, 2021 Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 16 minutes ago, yuquidam said: Oh yeah...beautiful to behold but difficult to hold (on)...🤪 OK, better "GET BACK TO THE TOPIC!" LOL Lol!~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_boi Posted February 15, 2021 Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 42 minutes ago, fab said: Especially the butterfly ones. then i'll stay in my cocoon, forever in my silk closet yuquidam and fab 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yuquidam Posted February 15, 2021 Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 7 minutes ago, milky_boi said: then i'll stay in my cocoon, forever in my silk closet Hahaha... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
upshot Posted February 15, 2021 Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 (edited) Find or Don't find. Life will still go on with or without you. That is life. It is what it is. We all have the power to make decisions work around circumstances. Extremely rarely should it be one where you get to blame others for your predicament since we all have that chance to do something about it. We can't all get what we want all the time. SO why dwell further on it instead of moving on till circumstances changes. Be tough as a nail or a snowflake. Edited February 15, 2021 by upshot yuquidam and doncoin 2 Quote ** Comments are my opinions, same as yours. It's not a 'Be-All-and-End-All' view. Intent's to thought-provoke, validate, reiterate and yes, even correct. Opinion to consider but agree to disagree. I don't enjoy conflicted exchanges, empty bravado or egoistical chest pounding. It's never personal, tribalistic or with malice. Frank by nature, means, I never bend the truth. Views are to broaden understanding - Updated: Nov 2021. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sadness Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 17 hours ago, yuquidam said: Hahaha...yes. The "one" can make your life a heaven on earth or a life ruined by hell fire on earth yo. I get what you mean but by definition, if he makes your life "ruined by hell fire on earth" he's not "The One", is he? Unless you were talking about a "wrong one". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yuquidam Posted February 16, 2021 Report Share Posted February 16, 2021 (edited) 12 hours ago, Guest Sadness said: I get what you mean but by definition, if he makes your life "ruined by hell fire on earth" he's not "The One", is he? Unless you were talking about a "wrong one". Yes bro, indeed. I was talking about the "wrong one". And the "wrong one" was, unfortunately, one whom we first thought to be "the one" until hell fire rained. So "the wrong one" turned out to be wrong often after he first was thought to be "the one". Am not discouraging (or encouraging) others to look for "the one". Good to keep eyes and heart open but at the same time built up sufficient fortitude to live a fulfilling life with or without "the one" or "the wrong one". I sincerely wish all the lonely hearts (including myself) out there a happy and fulfilling life whatever our relationship status - "single" or "married" or "attached" or "divorced" or "widowed". Edited February 16, 2021 by yuquidam fab, Rocket_ and mate69 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
repressednerd Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 Sometimes the one you are looking for might just be yourself. mate69, trx86, yuquidam and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yuquidam Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 57 minutes ago, repressednerd said: Sometimes the one you are looking for might just be yourself. Hahaha... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted February 19, 2021 Report Share Posted February 19, 2021 I've always thought that finding "the one" is finding yourself. Heartless and caindukker 2 Quote Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fetish72 Posted February 20, 2021 Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 (edited) The one is hard to find that like you and love you as what you are. Is better to be alone than you thought you have found the the one as the one that will betray you sleeping around and only after your money. Just be happy get healthy and stay healthy and along the way if you meet someone that enjoy the moment and company. I better to be alone and have the one hurt your heart and burn your pocket. At the end of the day when you go 6 foot under is alone no one with you or company you. Edited February 20, 2021 by fetish72 Heartless 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Relationship Posted February 20, 2021 Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 So be it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Derelict Posted February 20, 2021 Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 So many happy single folks. Don't you worry. Life goes on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neh Neh Posted February 21, 2021 Report Share Posted February 21, 2021 Find the "one" dog to accompany Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Neh Neh Pok Posted February 21, 2021 Report Share Posted February 21, 2021 4 minutes ago, Neh Neh said: Find the "one" dog to accompany Those neh neh not yours? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pubic01 Posted April 11, 2021 Report Share Posted April 11, 2021 (edited) A flame in the dark is the “one” to the moth that seeks warmth Edited April 11, 2021 by Pubic01 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Right? Posted April 11, 2021 Report Share Posted April 11, 2021 3 hours ago, Pubic01 said: A flame in the dark is the “one” to a moth that seek warmth Bad idea. You know the moth's ultimate fate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdanbeam Posted April 11, 2021 Report Share Posted April 11, 2021 Why must find "the one"? Im the one for myself. mate69 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auscent Posted April 11, 2021 Report Share Posted April 11, 2021 This could be written as: What if you dont be the one for yourself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted April 11, 2021 Report Share Posted April 11, 2021 (edited) It may take a long time to realize that he is "The One". And we can always be unlucky and realize that he WAS "The One". This is what happened to me . Edited April 11, 2021 by Steve5380 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate69 Posted April 11, 2021 Report Share Posted April 11, 2021 (edited) Not ever finding the one is WAY BETTER than finding the wrong one (out of desperation) lah Edited April 11, 2021 by mate69 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bhyx Posted April 11, 2021 Report Share Posted April 11, 2021 Truth is, we are always finding the 'someone' that, in reality, doesn't exists Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate69 Posted April 11, 2021 Report Share Posted April 11, 2021 9 minutes ago, bhyx said: Truth is, we are always finding the 'someone' that, in reality, doesn't exists Yup correct Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notd Posted April 12, 2021 Report Share Posted April 12, 2021 Didn't read the whole thing, but my two cents... I don't think we'll ever find "The One". The one is the one that we learn to love despite their flaws, and them us. bhyx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 12, 2021 Report Share Posted April 12, 2021 http://jackbaruth.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/nottheone.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 12, 2021 Report Share Posted April 12, 2021 http://jackbaruth.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/nottheone.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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