Hidden rules among classes

[HendryTan]

https://www.wordonthestreets.net/Articles/481670/Hidden_rules_among.aspx

 

Hidden rules are the unspoken cues and habits of a group. If you are in a group, you understand the hidden rules of that group and the danger is you take these for granted that they are for everyone.
 

The following table from her book illustrates some of the hidden rules of groups defined by the resources they have. These can be; financial, emotional, mental ability, spiritual, physical, relationships and support systems. (Dr Payne relates this to class although we might be uncomfortable with that attribution).
 

	POOR	MIDDLE CLASS (COMFORTABLE)	WEALTHY
POSSESSIONS	People.	Things.	One-of-a-kind objects, legacies, pedigrees.
MONEY	To be used, spent.	To be managed.	To be conserved invested.
PERSONALITY	Is for entertainment. Sense of humor is highly valued.	Is for acquisition and stability. Achievement is highly valued.	Is for connections. Financial, political, social connections are highly valued.
SOCIAL EMPHASIS	Social inclusion of people they like.	Emphasis is on self-governance and self-sufficiency	Emphasis is on social exclusion.
FOOD	Key question:  Did you have enough? Quantity important.	Key question:   Did you like it? Quality important.	Key question: Was it presented well? Presentation important.
CLOTHING	Clothing valued for individual style and expression of personality.	Clothing valued for its quality and acceptance into norm of middle class. Label important	Clothing valued for its artistic sense and expression. Designer important
TIME	Present most important. Decisions made for moment based on feelings or survival.	Future most important. Decisions made against future ramifications.	Traditions and history most important. Decisions made partially on basis of tradition and decorum.
EDUCATION	Valued and revered as abstract but not as reality.	Crucial for climbing success ladder and making money.	Necessary tradition for making and maintaining connections.
DESTINY	Believes in fate. Cannot do much to mitigate chance.	Believes in choice. Can change future with good choices now.	Noblesse oblige.
LANGUAGE	Casual register. Language is about survival.	Formal register. Language is about negotiation.	Formal register. Language is about networking.
FAMILY STRUCTURE	Tends to be matriarchal.	Tends to be patriarchal.	Depends on who has money.
WORLD VIEW	Sees world in terms of local setting.	Sees world in terms of national setting.	Sees world in terms of international view.
LOVE	Love and acceptance conditional, based upon whether individual is liked.	Love and acceptance conditional and based largely upon achievement.	Love and acceptance conditional and related to social standing and connections.
DRIVING FORCE	Survival, relationships, entertainment.	Work, achievement.	Financial, political, social connections.

Looking at the last row for example, it illustrates that the driving forces of the poor are survival, entertainment and relationships whereas for the middle class, the criteria against which most decisions are made relate to work and achievement. For the wealthy, decisions are considered based on the effect on finance, political and social connections.

Using money for security is grounded in the middle class and wealthy. Those in poverty see money as an expression of personality and it is used for entertainment and relationships.

Words are used to resolve conflict by negotiation in the middle class and wealthy but what if you don't have the necessary words or even respect them if you are in poverty? Violence is often the way to resolve issues.

 

[doncoin]

Very interesting matrix. Thanks for sharing.

[Steve5380]

Thank you for posting this table that seems to be very well thought.

 

I find myself identified in most of the items in MIDDLE CLASS,  except perhaps in FOOD, where I miss the "is it healthy?",  CLOTHING, where I never care for label,  TIME, where from "future most important" it is nicely changing to "present most important"  (of course, at my age...),  EDUCATION and LANGUAGE, where I miss "personal satisfaction",  WORLD VIEW,  where I have a definite international view, LOVE, where I am missing "personal mind cultivation", and DRIVING FORCE, where I miss "satisfaction of a well-lived life".

 

And I fully agree with its labeling of the MIDDLE CLASS as (COMFORTABLE), and not the WEALTHY.   

.

Edited April 7, 2021 by Steve5380

[Guest What am I talking]

The wealthy (the multi-million dolars to CEO of a huge business empire) will have to constantly maintained their status, safeguard their wealth, putting on a mask and busy with everything and networking and very little time for themselves.  The Middle class has a huge risk to bear, and in very fluid situation.  They have to balance from falling onto the poor, while struggling to climb towards the wealthy.  As a result, their stress level is high. Neutrality doesn't exist in the middle class as they are the class considered most active. Within the middle class - there is unachiever and high acheiver category (white collar workers to small scale boss).    The wealthy and middle class need a lot of work and effort and often failed to see the spritiual and humanity side of being a human.  Family squabbles and power struggle is not new.

 

The poor, regard being human as an asset to be treasured. Functionality and practicality carry a big portion in their life as they go about in their routine.  They have nothing to grasp nor possess and thus more likely to give things up easily (including spending their money).    They wanted you to know who they are not what they have and often make fun of wealthy people for falling short.  

 

Having said that, the world revolve very miraculously.  The poor can suddently became wealthy and the wealthy may suddently fell to the level of becoming poor.  It may not be in this generations, but their future generations.   Nothing static, nothing is permanent, that is what poor people believe and that give them hope unlike the wealthy people thinking.  As such, poor people are unlike to be afraid of dying, as compared to rich people.

[Guest Class monitor]

The middle class is more judgemental and homophobic than the wealthy and poor as they are struggling to prove themselves. True?

[Guest Guest Very Curious]

On 4/7/2021 at 9:43 PM, Steve5380 said:

LOVE, where I am missing "personal mind cultivation", and DRIVING FORCE, where I miss "satisfaction of a well-lived life".

I wonder where a preoccupation with sex tourism to Asian saunas fits in your  table.

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, Guest Class monitor said:

The middle class is more judgemental and homophobic than the wealthy and poor as they are struggling to prove themselves. True?

 

Is there any data that substantiates what you wrote?   Poor people can be less educated and more prone to buy into the condemnation by the churches.  And the wealthy may be more conscious of their image and afraid to be judged as promiscuous as gays.

 

19 minutes ago, Guest Guest Very Curious said:

I wonder where a preoccupation with sex tourism to Asian saunas fits in your  table.

 

Such a preoccupation does not fit in my life.  Why should I be preoccupied with sex tourism?  After the pandemic is over, I will have perfect freedom to travel to wherever I please,  for sex or simple tourism.  There are places in Europe I would like to visit not related to sex, the same as visit again my native country.

[Guest Guest Very Curious]

On 4/9/2021 at 9:31 AM, Steve5380 said:

Why should I be preoccupied with sex tourism?  After the pandemic is over, I will have perfect freedom to travel to wherever I please,  for sex or simple tourism.  There are places in Europe I would like to visit not related to sex, the same as visit again my native country.

Well, you have written before that you could not wait for the pandemic to end so you could return to Singapore to continue your sex tourism exploits. Given your history of posting, your sex tourist exploits - even when you were in a relationship with your gay partner - are frequently described in BW right down to your being friendly with sauna owners in Singapore and Bangkok!!

 

In fairness you did also mention your desire to go to Germany. 

[Steve5380]

10 hours ago, Guest Guest Very Curious said:

Well, you have written before that you could not wait for the pandemic to end so you could return to Singapore to continue your sex tourism exploits. Given your history of posting, your sex tourist exploits - even when you were in a relationship with your gay partner - are frequently described in BW right down to your being friendly with sauna owners in Singapore and Bangkok!!

 

In fairness you did also mention your desire to go to Germany. 

 

Well... my first sex-tourism destination would be BBK.  But I won't leave Singapore out of the question,  I have read here recently that some gays miss the presence of more handsome Ang Mohs...

[riverrobles]

Thanks for sharing this table, come to think of it, it is linked to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the base levels are focused on one's survival needs refelcting what the poor or the marginalized in society has to fulfill daily to just survive.

 

 

Edited August 14, 2021 by riverrobles