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Different tiers of rejection


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It seems ghosting/ignoring seems to be the generally accepted way of rejecting people on apps. For me I don't know why I feel particularly hurt by some rejections than others.

Tier 1 (least impact): silence and no response right from the start

Tier 2 : responded with a  'hi' and then ignore

Tier 3: after some 'what do you seek here' leads to some dealbreaker, like want to go raw, or share album then radio silence (ikyk)

Tier 4: like Tier 3 but with immediate block 

Tier 5: meet up then say 'you don't look like your profile...sorry I can't do this'

Tier 6: chat happy and compliment looks and promise to arrange to meet up after upcoming trip (funny how many people hook up just before some overseas trip), then radio silence to all messages.

 

To me Tier 6 just feels like the greatest betrayal. Its not being polite. Telling me to fuck off cos not interested would have been kinder.

 

Of course I've ignored people at tier 1. But if reach Tier 3, I would politely decline and at least give a reason why (not my type, etc) and wish the person a good day.

 

What are your thoughts? 

 

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Part of developing a thick skin is to reach complete immunity to rejection.  Our self-esteem can grow with our immunity to rejection,  respecting the right of others to reject us and never getting angry or depressed over a rejection.  There are however rejections that are very ugly,  and then we can simply shrug and feel sorry for the son-of-a-bitch who missed out on civility.

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Guest reject
  On 9/29/2022 at 5:19 AM, Pubic01 said:

Disappointment is always paired with prior expectation. So likely you saw potential in some for new connections, but alas .. that’s life (gay life in particular; highly impermanent).

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Well if the person doesn't say things like 'let's meet some day', I wouldn't have had any expectation la. 

 

Is it the person paiseh to say he's changed his mind after sometime? If i did change my mind, i would apologise and say 'I've changed my mind about meeting up sorry about it.'

It's online and not even f2f, shouldn't be too hard right? After that then block still not too late lol 

 

How did people do it f2f in the gay bars last time? Reject people graciously?

 

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