worldangel Posted March 3, 2020 Report Share Posted March 3, 2020 Joke: Looks good... There is this guy named Leon. One day Leon decided to go for walk. He runs into his old neighbor Joe. "Hey Leon yours looking good" Joe says. "I feels good" said Leon "But Leon you smells bad" said Joe Well Leon kept on going, he then ran into his partner. "Hey Leon yours looking good" said The partner. "I feels good" said Leon. "But Leon you smells bad" said the preacher. "That is what Joe said earlier, I think I will go to the doctors". Well Leon goes to the doctors. "You looks good Leon" said the doc. "I feels good" said Leon. "But you smells bad Leon" said the doc. "That's why I am here" said Leon. Ok the doc got his book, "Looks good, feels good, smells good, nope that’s not it" "Looks good, feels bad, smells good, nope that’s not it either" "Here it is looks good, feels good, smells bad" "Well Leon, I hate to break it to you, but you are a pussy" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 3, 2020 Report Share Posted March 3, 2020 Joke: Budget Cuts Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 3, 2020 Report Share Posted March 3, 2020 Joke: Hair pulling.... A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. "Don't be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts." A short while later, there's more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says... "Now she knows." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 3, 2020 Report Share Posted March 3, 2020 Joke: Reminiscing the past A woman wakes up during the night, and her husband isn't in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him and finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she asks: "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from his coffee and says: "Do you remember 20 years ago, when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. "Yes, I do," she replies. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife: lowering herself into a chair beside him. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said: "Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?" "I remember that, too," she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says: "I would have gotten out today." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 3, 2020 Report Share Posted March 3, 2020 Joke: Two couples went on a vacation... Two couples went on a vacation together. One of the men stated, "Our sex life has become routine and fairly predictable, don't you ever get tired of your wife?" "I know exactly what you mean, I wonder if our wives will consent to swapping." Much to their amazement the women consented to the arrangement. Early the next morning the husbands compared notes. "How was it?" "Wonderful, I haven't had this much fun in ages!" "Me, too. Now let's go see how the ladies made out." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 Joke: Hilarious answer Lawyer Kurt: Did the woman standing in the passage subsequently reveal her identity? Witness: Yes, that's right. Lawyer Kurt: Who did she say she was? Witness (seemingly inebriated) : She said she was the owner of the dog's wife. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 Joke: A mother mouse and a baby mouse... A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along when all of a sudden a cat attacked them. The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away. "See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 Joke: Bee Inconspicuous Two bees ran into each other. The first bee asked the other how things were going. "Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't make any honey." "No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fruit." "Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and he flew away. A few hours later, the two bees ran into each other again. The first bee asked, "How'd it go?""Great!" said the second bee. "It was everything you said it would be." "Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee. "That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want them to think I was a wasp." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 Joke: A drunk walks into a crowded bar ... A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to an older woman. After a while, the woman starts to smell this horrible odor coming from the direction of the drunk. She turns to him and says, "Excuse me Mister, but did you just shit yourself?" The drunk replied, "Yes ma'am, I have indeed shit myself." The woman says, "Well, why don't you go somewhere and clean yourself up?" The drunk says, "Cause I'm not finished yet..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 4, 2020 Report Share Posted March 4, 2020 Joke: Being the boss... A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He went home, slammed the door, saw his wife and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and after you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?" "I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 5, 2020 Report Share Posted March 5, 2020 Joke: Something Up in the Air The young college physician was bewildered by the procession of unhappy young women regularly visiting his campus clinic for pregnancy tests. “There seems to be something in the air this time of the year that causes young girls to get pregnant,” he commented to an older colleague. “What it is, I wonder?" “Their legs,” replied his friend. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 5, 2020 Report Share Posted March 5, 2020 Joke: Into the Woods Little Johnny rushed home from school and told his mom, "Mommy, mommy, I saw Daddy driving by my school with Aunty Joan into the woods. I followed them and saw Daddy taking Aunty Joan's clothes off..." The mom stopped him. ”Wait. Little Johnny, that's a beautiful story. Why don’t you wait to when Daddy gets home to tell it." So after supper mommy asks little Johnny to tell his story. He starts over, "Today I say daddy and Aunty Joan driving by my school into the woods. When I followed them, I saw daddy taking off Aunty Joan's clothes and Aunty Joan taking daddy's clothes off. And they did what you and Uncle Chris did when daddy was away!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 5, 2020 Report Share Posted March 5, 2020 Joke: He Hasn't Been Faithful The high priced lawyer was sitting in his office when his secretary announced the arrival of a new client, who turned out to be a very sexy young mother. “I want to divorce my husband,” said the woman. “On what grounds?” asked the lawyer. “Infidelity,” she replied. “I don’t think my husband has been faithful to me.” “What makes you think that?” “Well,” she said, “ I don’t think he is the father of my son.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 5, 2020 Report Share Posted March 5, 2020 Joke: Is Barney In There? A four-year old was at the pediatrician for a check-up. As the doctor looked in her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?" Again, the little girl was silent. Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?" "Oh, no!" the little girl replied. "Santa Claus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 5, 2020 Report Share Posted March 5, 2020 Joke: Can You Do It Again? A man wants to have his penis enlarged. He goes to a specialist who recommends a new procedure of attaching an elephant trunk to the end of the penis. The man goes for it and he now has a humongous penis. One day, while eating dinner at his girlfriends, his penis reaches up from under the table, grabs a bun, and slides back down under the table. The girlfriend is amazed. "That's incredible," she says. "Can you do it again?" The man replies, "I'd love to, but I don't think my butt can handle another bun right now." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6, 2020 Report Share Posted March 6, 2020 Joke: The Whole Truth The judge wanted to make sure the witness understood the solemnity of the occasion. "Do you know what the word 'oath' means?" asks the judge. "Sure do," says the witness. "Oath means if I swear to a lie, I gotta stick with it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6, 2020 Report Share Posted March 6, 2020 Joke: Long Winded Attorney A long winded attorney was arguing a technical case before one of the judges of the superior courts. The attorney had rambled on in such a desultory way that it became very difficult to follow his line of thought, and the judge had just yawned very suggestively. With a trace of sarcasm in his voice, the tiresome attorney ventured to observe: "I sincerely trust that I am not unduly trespassing on the time of this court." "My friend," returned his honour, "there is considerable difference between trespassing on time and encroaching upon eternity." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6, 2020 Report Share Posted March 6, 2020 Joke: Photographic Evidence A customer walked up to my bank window and asked me to cash a check. “Of course,” I said. “But I’ll need to see ID.” She dug though her purse and handed me a snapshot. “That’s me in the middle,” she said. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6, 2020 Report Share Posted March 6, 2020 Joke: What It Means The teacher heard Little Johnny use some serious language and was shocked. “Little Johnny, don’t you ever use language like that again, not near me, not ever. Where on earth did you learn that?” “I got it from my dad, Miss,” replies Johnny. “Well, your daddy should be ashamed. I hope you don’t know what all that even means?” “Oh but I do,” says Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 6, 2020 Report Share Posted March 6, 2020 Joke: Marrying a Widow A friend of mine recently announced that he was going to marry a widow. A member of the group indicated that he would not like being the second husband of a widow. My friend replied, "I would rather be the second husband of a widow rather than the first." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2020 Report Share Posted March 7, 2020 Joke: For Better or Worse During the vows at the wedding the minister asks the bride to be, "Do you take this man to be your wedded husband for better or worse?" The bride answers, "Just as he is Father. If he gets any better, I know the Lord will take him, and if he gets any worse, I'll tend to him myself. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2020 Report Share Posted March 7, 2020 Joke: Report Card Father: Little Johnny, I see by your report card that you are not doing well in history. How come? Little Johnny: I can’t help it. The teacher always asks me about things that happened before I was born. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2020 Report Share Posted March 7, 2020 Joke: Blondes kids A blonde was with her husband shopping and she decided that they would shop in different parts of the mall. They meet in the middle 2 hours later and she announces, "I just got kids." The husband stares amazed, looking at the kids he says, "Those are 2 baby goats!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2020 Report Share Posted March 7, 2020 Joke: Constant Wordplay Jokes My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes. I asked her, "What should I do to stop my addiction?" She said, "Hey, whatever means necessary." "No, no it doesn't," I said. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 7, 2020 Report Share Posted March 7, 2020 Joke: One night, a man on his way... One night, a man on his way home happened upon a drunk, down on his hands and knees searching for something under a street light. The man asked the drunk what he was looking for so diligently and the drunk said he had tripped and his Rolex wrist watch had broken loose from his wrist. The man, being a kindhearted soul, got down on his hands and knees and began assisting the drunk looking for his watch. After about ten minutes without any success, the man asked the drunk exactly where he tripped. "About a half a block up the street," the drunk said. "Why, pray tell," the man asked the drunk, "are you looking for your watch here if you lost it a half a block up the street?" The drunk replied, "The light is a lot better here." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 Joke: Mirror Mirror Two blondes walking down the street. One reaches into her pocketbook for a make up compact and looks into the mirror. "This picture looks like someone I know" she says. The other one has a look and says, "Of course dummy, it's ME...." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 Joke: A famous lawyer, who had been ... A famous lawyer, who had been a public defender for years, dies. He finds himself standing at the back of an enormous queue outside the gates of Heaven. The queue before him is enormous. The number of people who die in a single day appalls him. He can barely see St Peter sitting up on a podium outside the gates with a large book. Every now and then St Peter glances down the queue to see how he is going. Suddenly he catches the eye of the lawyer. He looks very surprised. He jumps down from the podium and comes running along the line until slightly out of breath he arrives beside the lawyer. He embraces him. He pulls him out of the queue and motions for him to come to the front of the queue. Another person questions what is happening and another angel speaks to the person. Word is passed along the queue and the lawyer is surprised, as people start nodding and clapping. He becomes embarrassed by all the attention and asks St Peter why he is getting the special attention. St Peter stops suddenly and looks concerned. "You are a lawyer aren't you?' "Yes" the lawyer replies. "Does this happen to all lawyers in heaven?" "Oh, no, "Said St Peter. "It's just you are the first one to ever get here." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 Joke: Your chances are better... An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating proposing. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend. "Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 Joke: While the bar patron savored a... While the bar patron savored a double martini, an attractive women sat down next to him. The bartender served her a glass of orange juice, and the man turned to her and said, "This is a special day. I'm celebrating." "I'm celebrating, too," she replied, clinking glasses with him. "What are you celebrating?" he asked. "For years I've been trying to have a child," she answered, "Today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!" "Congratulations," the man said, lifting his glass. "As it happens, I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile. But today they're finally fertile." "How did it happen?" "I switched cocks." "What a coincidence," she said, smiling. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 8, 2020 Report Share Posted March 8, 2020 Joke: It's late, the bartender and a... It's late, the bartender and a guy are the only ones left in the bar. The guy pushes his empty beer glass over to the edge of the counter, walks to the other end of the bar, and says to the bartender, "If I could spit from here, and get it in the glass without getting any anywhere else, would you give me $50?" The bartender, not seeing how this bet could be cheated, says, "ok, show me." The guy spits and makes it in the glass without getting any on the counter or the floor. The bartender says, "That's amazing! You deserve the $50!" The next day, about noon, the guy's in the bar again, and says to the bartender, if I can do it again, but with 2 glasses side by side, would you give me $100? The bartender agrees, and the guys spit from across the bar and makes it in both glasses, without getting any anywhere else. The evening rolls around, and the bartender sticks a bunch of glasses all over the bar. He then says to the guy, "if you can spit in all of these glasses at the same time, without getting any anywhere else, I'll give you $200" The guy says, "Sure, but I need a little time to get ready" So after a minute, the guy comes up, and proceeds to spit everywhere at lightning speed. The bartender, seeing that the guy has missed ever single cup, jumps up and down for joy, screaming. The guys pays the bartender, and says, "I don't see what you're so happy about, I just bet the guy in the corner $500 that I could spit all over your bar, and you'd be happy about it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 Joke: By Those Standards "Why do you have to buy such expensive brassieres?” the irate husband snapped nastily as he looked over the latest credit card statement. “You don’t have much to put in them.” “By those standards,” she replied, “you haven’t needed a new pair of underwear in years!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 Joke: Your Mother's Husband They say that the new super computer knows everything. A sceptical man came and asked the computer, "Where is my father?" The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with, "Your father is fishing in Michigan." The sceptical man said triumphantly, "You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years." "No," replied the super computer immediately. "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three-pound trout." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 Joke: Why Do Men Always The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions. "Go ahead caller, you're live on the air!" The caller asked, “Doctor, I want to know, why do men always want to marry a virgin?” To which the doctor handily responded, “That's easy, too avoid criticism.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 Joke: Grabbing Him By the Knee A handsome young broker assistant enjoys telling his co-workers, how the famous director he works for takes great pleasure in grabbing him by the knee when they go out together. “But yesterday,” he confided over Margaritas, “she reached a new high.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 9, 2020 Report Share Posted March 9, 2020 Joke: What's Wrong With Me Doc? This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had the corpse-like look on my face! What’s wrong with Me, Doctor!?” The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, and then calmly says, “Well, I can tell you that there is nothing wrong with your eyesight….” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 10, 2020 Report Share Posted March 10, 2020 Joke: Medical Advances in Blood Work A Doctor giving a speech with the latest medicine findings. He said: "Here's good news for all of you who need blood transfusions, although this may be of some interest to any of you. The AMA (The American Medical Association) researchers have made a remarkable discovery. It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood. So far we've learned it tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 10, 2020 Report Share Posted March 10, 2020 Joke: Guilty Guarantee The trial went on for 4 weeks with testimony by both sides. Finally, the jury retired to determine the verdict. After 2 days the jury had reached a decision to acquit the prisoner. Judge: "What possible reason could you have for acquitting the prisoner?" Foreman: "Insanity, sir." Judge: "What, all twelve of you?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 10, 2020 Report Share Posted March 10, 2020 Joke: Eat Quiche During graduate school, I tutored a football player in Psychology 101. After the session, my supervising professor asked me if I was interested in the student, since he was a good-looking athlete. “No, I’m not,” I assured him. “Yeah, you probably prefer men who eat quiche,” he joked. “Actually, I prefer men who can spell quiche.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 10, 2020 Report Share Posted March 10, 2020 Joke: Lost Load of Hay A kind farmer told the forlorn lad whose load of hay had overturned in the road, to forget his troubles and come in and have dinner with his family. "There will be time enough to clean up the load after a good meal." The boy demurred; said he didn't think his father would like it. But the farmer persisted and won. After the meal the boy said he felt better and expressed his appreciation for the hospitality. At the same time, he was sure his father would not be happy. "Nonsense!" said the host. "By the way," he added, "Where is your father?" "Under the hay," was the response. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 10, 2020 Report Share Posted March 10, 2020 Joke: Best Lawsuit Ever "Yes," said the lawyer to his client. "You have got the best case I have ever heard." "Thanks," said the client, grabbing up his coat and heading out the door. "Where are you going?" ask the astonished lawyer. "I'm going to settle this case out of court," said the leaving client. "But I told you it is the best case I have ever heard?" "Maybe," began the client, "but not for me, I told you the other fellow's case." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11, 2020 Report Share Posted March 11, 2020 Joke: Half His Friends Him: "Since Mr. Wilson has lost his money, half his friends don't know him anymore." Her: "And the other half?" Him: "They don't know yet that he's lost his money." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11, 2020 Report Share Posted March 11, 2020 Joke: Lucky Hand One doctor asks another if, "Are you any good at palmistry?" "Well, not exactly. However, the other night I did look at a lady's hand, and one glance told me she was going to be lucky," he replied. "Why, how’s that?" the first doctor ask. The reply: "Well it had four aces in it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11, 2020 Report Share Posted March 11, 2020 Joke: Brand New Hat An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat." "But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11, 2020 Report Share Posted March 11, 2020 Joke: Sales Help "I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," the young man said, eyeing the attractive salesgirl. "But I don't know her size." "Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his. "Why yes," he answered. "Her hands are just slightly smaller that yours." "Will there be anything else?" the salesgirl queried as she wrapped the gloves. "Now that you mention it," he replied, "she also needs some lingerie." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11, 2020 Report Share Posted March 11, 2020 Joke: Assault and Battery A man was arraigned for assault and battery were brought before the judge. Judge: What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with? Prisoner: My name is Sparky, I am an electrician and I'm charged with battery. Judge (after recovering his equilibrium): Officer, put this guy in a dry cell. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2020 Report Share Posted March 12, 2020 Joke: Smart son Audrey-Anne, the hillbilly said to her friend, "You know, my boy's real smart!" He's only five but already spell his name backwards and forwards!" "What's his name?" asked the friend. Audrey-Anne replied ,"Bob." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2020 Report Share Posted March 12, 2020 Joke: Chairman of the Board Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2020 Report Share Posted March 12, 2020 Joke: A**hole While nursing a drink at a bar, a young woman was distressed to see a drunken unkept man sit down next to her. "Say, honey-baby ... I'd really like to get into those pants of yours." "Thanks," she shot back, "But I've already got an a**hole in there." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2020 Report Share Posted March 12, 2020 Joke: Tour Bus Driver A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of old aged pensioners when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on the shoulder again and she hands the driver another handful of peanuts. When she is about to hand him another batch again, he asks her "Why don't you eat the peanuts?" "We can't chew them because we have no teeth", she replied. "We just love the chocolate around them." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2020 Report Share Posted March 12, 2020 Joke: Honey, What Did the Doctor Say? A middle aged man goes into the doctor's office for a check-up with a litany of complaints. The doctor speaks to the man's wife alone and says, "There is nothing the matter with your husband. If you make a couple of meals for him a day, let him watch his sports. Do not complain at him too much and require him to listen. Limit his exposure to in-laws and make love to him once a week. Then, he'll probably live another 20 years." She returns to her husband's side in the waiting room. He asks, "What did the doctor tell you?" "You are going to be dying soon, my dear." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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