PictureHouse Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 We have been together for 5 years. I was the one who went after him. Initially, he wasn't keen in me and I guess it was my perseverance that touched him. Well, I'm older than him by 8 years. He loves to travel and often leaves the.country more than 6 times a year for holiday. The strangest thing is he seems to.enjoy taking.planes and even does transits on purpose just to earn miles? Tonight, we bickered again. Earlier today, we went to buffet Nd I peeled prawns for both of us. Whilst we still.have unshelled prawns, he insisted I wash my hands at the toilet after each round. Does he.even think.of me? When I reasoned with him, he will crudely brush me aside and accused me of accrediting myself with the good deeds I've done for him. He always feel that I am not good looking and no to his liking. I really love him until now. I.don't know what should I do. Please let me know how.should I carry on . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ¿lut Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 you were never 'with' him. I think you were only his ocd domestic helper with a cock. take care /auntagonyfails luv_sex and FluteGuan 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 Well, being the older guy, put yourself in his shoes. How did you behave when you were his age? I don't 100% agree with his behaviour, but you made the choice to put up with it. Has he even asked you to go on trips together? Or does he really need to get away from you? If say out of the 6 trips, you go along for 2 or 3 with him, I think that is normal. I think when 2 people are in a loving relationship, they would want to spend a reasonable amount of time together. The prawn peeling gesture is sweet, but if he is being a jerk about it, he can jolly go peel his own bloody prawns. Truth is, why are you doing all these things for him? Is it that you truly love him? Or is there a deeper issue, related to self-esteem- i.e. you need to "buy" his love through the things you do for him etc. One of things I feel is important in a relationship is that both parties know why they are together. The answers need not be 100% identical, but there should be some things in common. Figure out why you are in this relationship besides "love." HydroNaut 1 Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 U have been with him for 5 years, but did he ever fall in love with you before, or should i said that this is just one sided and this is not even a love relationship at all? you have the answer better than anyone, the key is not holding in your hand, perhaps he just waiting you to call off this relationship first, talk to him and see what he want Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PictureHouse Posted April 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 I've always been the one peeling prawns for him. Its his favourite food and I enjoy doing it for the person I luv. Many any things happened during the 5 yrs together. He says I.should not talk to.him in train as people are watching. I told.him that as long as we are not wuarellung, it's perfectly ok to.chit chat... Last year, I suffered a.slipped.disc and had great pain. While getting up from a bed, I asked him to.hive me.a.hand. he said " don't pretend. I think you can get up yourself" Alas, I.was seen by a specialist and was.confirmd as having a.slipped.disc. It was the most hurting moment when I heard those comments of.me.pretending to be in pain just to be waited upon by him 我很伤心。。 I'm 37. I've spent so.long with him. What can I do? When I tried to.remind him of the past, he retaliated by saying " don't always bring up the past and claim how good you were? My best boyfriend.. " . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 (edited) Yes if u still wanna be used by a prima donna. No if u wish to keep some pride n wait for the right one who loves n deserves u. 有些事情你现在不必问, 有些人你永远不必懂更不必等。 Edited April 2, 2016 by fab 鍾意就好,理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest snowball Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 如果你父母把你生下来的尊严和面子是让不爱你的人随意摧残糟蹋,那除了不孝,你是犯贱,自愿让他踩在脚下,让他瞧不起,你值得期待别人的同情吗? 他已经摆明当你是xxx, 若您没自觉还自豪,就别对别人更别向他诉苦,因为说句难听点,你自找。 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairy springroll Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 Wake up dear he dont deserve you So what 5yrs Pack your belongings and move on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PictureHouse Posted April 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 Thank u for.all.the concerns. Even have members here that prvt msg me. Thank u all.kind souls You're right. When I .with him, I feel fear. Almost 70% of the.time, he's always scrolling through his.mobile and.viewing social media . He.says it's a.pain to talk to me and he doesn't like to talk. When we go out, he is quiet and just stare at his phone. I cannot ask.who is.it. if I ask who is it.thatnhe is.chatting with or who is.it that went movie with him, he will just say " friend s"? I know you guys will tell.me to give him up. But, I miss the yrs we are together. He.doesn't like me to eat with my mouth open as.he view it as non -atas. He.doesn't allow me to burp in public He doesn't allow me to.ask him questions. But when he needs.to ask me qns to help in his field of work, he will ask.and.I.will answer unreservedly. I literally feel sad when I see how couples ( straights or aj s) behave and interact happily outside. When I told him how lonely I was window.shopping my.myself on Sundays when he was away on holidays, he said " so what? Well, I.also walk ard myself when I was at xxxx country." I mean what kind of response is that? Well, he chose to go holiday isn't it? Its his decision to go holiday. But, it's not my decision to be lonely and walking around shopping centres by my own to.kill.the boredom. I feel painful and helpless. I wanna end him. But I can't bear to. I'm useless. I let my parents down. If they know what kind of.person he is.and how he is treating me, I think my.old folks will be so.sad to see their son being regarded in that manner. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youngpunk Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 it's obvious that the rational side of you knows exactly what you should do. so just do it. after you've done it, then come back up here for emotional support. mate69 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 i think u need to tell him abt how u feel and hear wat he says Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Glyph Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 I had the same dilemma as you do, a couple years back with a ~5-year relationship. Caught between loving him and loving myself, the emphasis was always on the former. Even so, I couldn't stop blaming him for being indifferent about my feelings. Much like you, I missed the usual routines and bittersweet moments so I tried to hold on and keep it going, but the entire relationship was just draining me. So much so that I couldn't focus, every other thing was a memory-probe and I wouldn't stop thinking about him. I started having frequent nightmares about him leaving me and I'd wake up in the middle of the night breaking out in cold sweat. Then I finally realised that I had to make the break. It was really tough and painful, mainly because I couldn't stop regretting how I spent my entire early-twenties on the relationship. I guess as much as I wanted it to work out, I wanted my life back more. Which brings me to the point.. shift the focus of breaking up, from giving him up to giving in to yourself. Take the turn out of the loop because time will not wait for you, but time will heal you after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kissme Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 I'm torn to hear ur experience. Can I pls hit him;). Anyway I feel u bro. I hope u will get over him soon. He's not worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PictureHouse Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 I learned a lot from the various inputs here. After a good night of sleep, I realised I still love him. I'm worried that if I leave him, what will happen to.him. of cos, it's pointless worrying because he is smarter than me, both academically and also daily handling of.matters. No matter how good I am, he will tend to climb up my head and gives me cold shoulder when he is not in good.mood. Yesterdaylibrary afternoon , we.went to watch GRIND at national library. After the play, we were joining the crowd to.take the escalator down. I need to pee. He forbided me to use the toilet when the toilet is just within line of sight. I don't know what exactly is in his mind that disallowed me from.going to pee. Well, I have to use the toilet at bugis plus as a result. In bkk, I was running a sore throat during our holiday. I had lotsa of water. Naturally, I need to visit the loo more often. At chatuchak mkt, he commented " 你很烦, always need to go toilet! " I asked myself why is he so heartless to.the one he love. Now, he finds it 烦, next time when I am old and needs to defacate or clean myself, wouldn't he find me a pain? There are many other things Yes, I hear that some of you did asked me to tell him how I've been feeling. I did. Thats why we quarreled. He will snapped back whenever I tell.him how I feel. Even when I tell him how.much I love him and will be there for him till we grow.old, he doesn't give a damn and just glued his eyes to his phone, ipad and social media. Have I spoken to him? Several times. He is the ONLy bf in this world that will remind me that I'm ugly and not cute. Yes, I may not be his cup of tea but I really feel sad whenever he says that to me. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 (edited) 19 minutes ago, PictureHouse said: He is the ONLy bf in this world that will remind me that I'm ugly and not cute. Yes, I may not be his cup of tea but I really feel sad whenever he says that to me. I am sorry to hear how terribly you've been treated. You are enabling his negative behaviour towards you, and there simply is no excuse to be mean and nasty to someone you love. He has consistently belittle you, and your feelings. You need to get away from him, and be surrounded by people who love and care about you. More than anything, you need to rebuild your self-confidence, and belief that you deserve to be loved by someone who truly loves you back. Breaking up can be heard, and painful. Your bf is an adult, and he can take care of himself. You need to take care of you. Figure out why you put up with his behaviour. From what you have been sharing, what you are doing is a lack of love for yourself. Why is that? Why can you not love yourself? Find out the answer. Move away from him. Believe you deserve better. Edited April 3, 2016 by doncoin Hemnes 1 Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Face Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 No point advice him as he is reluctance to leave his bf. He is scare his bf will died without him around. Time to wake up, bro.. Life is short. Why you let him 随意摧残糟蹋? Unless you are immune to his nonsense. He does not love you from the start. Not even like you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youngpunk Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 25 minutes ago, PictureHouse said: I asked myself why is he so heartless to.the one he love. the question you should be asking yourself is does he love you? or does he love the security (place to stay, money you spend on him, etc.) you're providing him? 27 minutes ago, PictureHouse said: Now, he finds it 烦, next time when I am old and needs to defacate or clean myself, wouldn't he find me a pain? let's see. you wanted to pee. he forbade you, you listened. you wanted to pee, he said 你很煩. you took it. so what do you think? i kinda feel sorry for you reading your initial posts. which is why in pm i suggested you taking a break from the relationship if you're not ready to cut it clean. taking a break gives you a chance to experience how it's like without him, and you may realize you're stronger than you think you are. it would also give that asswipe a chance to demonstrate how much you really mean to him, and take actions to prove himself worthy of your love and attention. but after reading your post above. nah. you're stuck and you're clearly not motivated enough to do anything real. ThePineapple 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jason Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 To me this is not love. You don't love him and he don't love you. You are just insecure and afraid if losing him. If you really love a person. You should just let him go and wish him found someone better than you. In my opinion. He doesn't deserves you! Please love yourself more. When you find the right guy, it's joy instead of fear you receive. You want to continue having another 30-40 years of such "one sided relationship"? Wake up! Grow up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CamperBoy Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 8 years age gap is quite large. No biggie if you are 40 and he is 32. So how old were you guys then when you first met and decided to be with each other? If you are already in your 30s and he is in his early or mid 20s, do yourself a favor and find life for yourself. There is more to life than just him really. It also appears that you have quite a lower self-esteem issue. You cannot detach yourself from your bf's engrossment with social media and I think part of you feel jealous of him and at the same worry that you cannot get anyone like him (which shouldn't be the case because we are all different). So look into your heart. You know where the relationship will lead to. He is still young and want to experience the world. Wherelse you in the traditional sense, just want to have a family with him. Remember, live your life for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cycle25 Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Sounds to me like you're being used. I doubt any person who had feelings for another would disallow them from using the restrooms. Sorry to hear that but I think part of it is that you have allowed it to go on for as long as it has. You would have to be the one to break it, either by stepping away or by giving him an ultimatum (though I don't think this will work given how self-absorbed he seems). What is keeping you with him though? Memories of a happy past? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate69 Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 TS, I believe you already know deep down within yourself what you need to do. It's painful, yes, but in this case, for your sanity and emotional well-being, it is necessary. In short, he does not (and probably has never) loved/liked you the way you do him. Please, do yourself a big favour, love yourself and cut loose from this destructive leech, because he is clearly draining you of your self-worth, self-esteem and pride. All the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PictureHouse Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 谢谢 everyone... I've been reading and learning from the values one should have when with a life partner. I still love him so much. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Guest guest bb Posted April 3, 2016 Popular Post Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Me 40. Bf 50. Age is no issue if you love a person. I peeled prawns for bf. He will licked my fingers in public and I hv to stop him. We travel together few times a year. Mostly just the 2 of us. Once in a while we travel with friends. We express our love and concern to each other all the time. We have mostly fun and happy time together. the only time I hv fear is when he sick. We can't stop "insulting" each other like fat pig when we both are not fat at all. We fart burp dig nose in front of each other and we think it's the most natural thing to do. We hv been together for more than 10 years. So find someone who accept who you are, who enjoy being with u. Sone one who Love the real you n appreciate your love and care. First of all. Learn to love and respect your ownself before you love other. Garyl, Happypup, totoro69 and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lohwpr Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 (edited) Picturehouse, you are putting up with him because you love him. I can see that. The fact that you ask the question whether or not u should continue with him, you already know the answer to your question. The real question is, are you willing to let him go and go thru the painful process of forgetting him......... I went thru the process of forgetting someone that I love. I thought of suicide at my lowest point. The pain that I went thru was unimagniable. Now, I don't feel as much pain but there is an empty void.... Back to you. You need courage to make that decision and go thru the process. Otherwise, your disappointment and pain will be perpetual because this is a one-sided affair. Edited April 3, 2016 by lohwpr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JusAnotherGuy Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Really bro, just leave him.. To me he is just using you as a safety net and he clearly does not love you. Being young does not give him an excuse to be heartless. No one should be treated like this. I'm in my mid 20's and i don't this this is acceptable as well. I was caught in a similar situation with a guy who was a year younger and i felt the same way as you. The things he did also resembles what yours is doing to you. It was difficult when we ended it and it still is for me though i can say now i am very much happier to be alone then to be stuck with someone that belittles me. Trust me bro, when he finds someone better, he wont think of you when he leaves you for that person. Leave now before he does that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir.Stokie Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 (edited) .. Edited May 11, 2017 by Sir.Stokie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Based on your replies so far, u seem to ve read, but but not listen to the advices. No matter how strong your love is for another person, do not allow him to tramble on your pride. Be strong to make the right decision. 鍾意就好,理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 If he finds u ugly and 烦 but yet stick to u, most prob he is "using" u man. Did he shows signs of love n care for u often? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 (edited) Do u continue to keep a pet dog who bites u for no reason? If u dont y do u wanna keep the diva bitch who keeps biting the hand that feeds her? Edited May 2, 2016 by fab 鍾意就好,理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PictureHouse Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Ya... I told.to.umpteen times. It.doesn't get into.him and he always says " yah, you're the Mr Best Boyfrd ok?! " . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PictureHouse Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 When I go.shopping alone, I will admire those couples who enjoy mutual love. They smiled, laughed and even feed each other sometimes. Why couldn't I have that kind of partner ? When we eat, I will ask him for his comments. He will Chide me by saying: " can you dun ask me such things ? " I explained that because I value him, that's why I wanna know.if he likes the particular dish we bought or I prepared. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 47 minutes ago, Sir.Stokie said: TS , its your rs with him. Why dun you tell him how u feel? Listen to his response then make your decision. Some ppl can be very unaware of their actions. Sit down and have a good talk about his behaviour towards you. Let him know u are tired of his bad treatment towards you and that you can't take it more much longer. Let him know that if this continues, you seriously am considering ending the rs. I feel this is the most sensible advise. You already invest 5 yrs in this r/s and you are 37, which is not young anymore. Do you want to throw away this 5 yr r/s and restart everything again? Will the next r/s be better? Nobody will know. there is no perfect r/s in this world and you can only try to make it better. What you say here is your side and he may have his side to share. Usually when there is problem in a r/s it does not come from only one party. The forummers here are very helpful but they are not professional relationship advisers. It's also no good to spill everything here in public. Have you care how he feel to read it here and everybody criticising him? It's like hanging your love one in public and letting people throw stones at him. Your heart not pain? Just sit down with him in privacy and try to listen to him and understand things from his viewpoint. Try to talk things with him calmly. If you say he is more smart than you then for sure he can understand logic and sense. If you can't do this properly, why not the two of you go to a gay friendly couple counselling session in ooga Chaga. They have professional therapist there to help you. Love is so hard to find in this circle. Love yourself, love him and try to repair and save this relationship if you can. Of course there is a time when you must say you already try your best and it's time to end. Only you will know when your relationship is totally hopeless and unsavable. But your replies tell us you still want to try. PictureHouse 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PictureHouse Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 This advice is so sound. Thank u. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest True Story Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 1 hour ago, PictureHouse said: 谢谢 everyone... I've been reading and learning from the values one should have when with a life partner. I still love him so much. Your story is nothing new in this world. You were sticky because your fantasy boy has finally came true for your plucking. I strongly believe, it is perfectly sane and no denying of such feelings. I was there..... He was a dream-came-true hero, an emotional body-guard, a childhood prince-white and whichever way you viewed him, he is "perfect" - from his physical manhood right up to his little sweat pores on his body. The black mole on him, even looks like gold to you. He is youthful, good looking and most importantly, sex satisfying to your needs. Who didn't want? It has been overdued to us for many longing years and we deserved it. The gay world certainly envied me, so we thought..... Finding a replacement is arduous if you lose him. You didn't want to revisit the dark cruising journey again, standing at the clementi MRT toilet for hours, baiting and fearing of being caught. You 've seen it coming....so you wanted to hold on, hang on to him even when the light dims upon you, at least there is sex to be had. It was painful, you wanted to do everything to survive him, search for the miracle pills or to find some comforting words of hope here. Your became too occupied with fear of losing him, you began to lose your appetite and lost interest in everything. Your favorite juicy black-pepper crabs. who your mom painstakingly prepared for hours, suddently became tasteless because you missed him, The above is to be expected and nobody can manage your expectation because we were you "before". This can be seen from you trying to manuever your wheel when we tried to steer you to your right but you held fast to your left.....enough said. Like I said, it was normal - whether is hallucination or real experience. But For the sake of your family and the gay community, you need to manage your emotion when faced with such difficult situation. Don't do foolish thing and became head-news in the main stream media. It is not uncommon but can be avoidable to prevent the impulsive heart taking control of the brain. You need to prepare for the day of seeing him walking with someone else and he will completely forsaken you. You've better starts preparing now, so as to dilute any surprise attack coming your way. The best solution is to love him lesser everyday, by putting YOURSELF IN HIS SHOES (not vice versa). Attempt a reverse psychological tactic, see your weakness through him, see his weakness too, start imagining of the worse - of him sleeping with someone else with graphic sex play while you watched them in bed. Imagine something that you didn't wish to happen has happened, than what happened thereafter and the rippling effect of actions that you will probably do or not do - like dog-in-cage in a Chinese dog-food restaurant. I have seen some struggled to break the cage, others almost gave up hope and prepared for its fate. Those dogs, would rather have you switched role in that kind of situation of theirs and yours. Enough said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Just A Member Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Putting up with your partner is part of loving him, but not the entire way to love him. As much as you are offering your love selflessly, which is the right thing to do, it is not a 2-way relationship if he is not giving his. Worse if he is taking it for granted... The number of years the relationship has lasted shouldn't be the reason why you are hanging on to it now. Do you think it can last for another 5, or more years, base on the current state of your situation? Although there is no right or wrong in a relationship, there is little value in unrequited love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintersnow Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 i was caught in a similar situation like that and most of the time, im at his mercy and he is also 8 yrs younger than me in his early 20s there are many times, i feel i dont even know what is he thinking, what he is doing and whenever im out with him, he prefers to play with his phone than anything else. i was also said by him that im troublesome or 烦 and whenever he travels, i only know when he post something overseas. i tried to give in and close one eye or rather to the point where both eyes were closed but still i feel strained. one fine day he decided that he had enough of me and although upset, i feel i have less burdened it really doesnt matter if im shopping alone or watever. yes i envy ppl with lovely caring bf but since things doesnt work out, i cant force it recently, he approached me again cos he had some problem and needed my help, he sounded to me like we didnt end officially, for all these while we were just taking a break. i didnt really wanted to help but being softhearted, i helped him. after that, both parties didnt proceed further and life carries on. from my episode which is very much similar to TS, i feel you should really take a break from the situation and you really will get a new horizon. im sure you deserve someone better and for myself, i feel its fine to be alone rather than still circumcising myself to a person who probably is childish or looked down on me and didnt treat me like someone in a r/s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaze Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 the number of advices (telling u to break with him) and the number of "i still love him" from your end is really cancerous to the eye.. u're already old enough to know that a breakup wont kill you. it hurts. but where's the difference? i dare say he'll dump you in future. till then, u're still gonna be hurt the same. so why suffer more pain now? also, his indifference to your break up initiation will hurt you enough to not talk with him. when that happens, delete everything related to him. move on.. dont give me the excuse saying "i cant forget him. i love him too much". 10yrs down the road, u'll be glad that u left him to search for some1 more suitable to spend the prime time of your life with. if u stay with him, when you're on your death bed, u'll lament why you dont have a loved one at your side. why you did not find some1 who loves you in return. by then, your life is gone. the wick is burnt. the regret is permanent. your choice. PS: it really is eye-cancerous to see how people ask for opinions and keep justifying the other clause. 10 out of 10 says he's not into you. but u're still saying "i love him". your qns isn't should you continue with him but rather "how can i continue with him". jasonW 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 A person who loves u will find your fart fragance. A person who does not will find your perfume disgusting. When a person finds u irritating or disgusting for no rythme of reason, u know its time to sing mickey mouse song. 鍾意就好,理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintersnow Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 15 minutes ago, kaze said: the number of advices (telling u to break with him) and the number of "i still love him" from your end is really cancerous to the eye.. u're already old enough to know that a breakup wont kill you. it hurts. but where's the difference? i dare say he'll dump you in future. till then, u're still gonna be hurt the same. so why suffer more pain now? also, his indifference to your break up initiation will hurt you enough to not talk with him. when that happens, delete everything related to him. move on.. dont give me the excuse saying "i cant forget him. i love him too much". 10yrs down the road, u'll be glad that u left him to search for some1 more suitable to spend the prime time of your life with. if u stay with him, when you're on your death bed, u'll lament why you dont have a loved one at your side. why you did not find some1 who loves you in return. by then, your life is gone. the wick is burnt. the regret is permanent. your choice. PS: it really is eye-cancerous to see how people ask for opinions and keep justifying the other clause. 10 out of 10 says he's not into you. but u're still saying "i love him". your qns isn't should you continue with him but rather "how can i continue with him". i can relate to the TS because i was like him, almost everyone say this is not love/not in a r/s but i insist and persisted maybe because it has become a habit, maybe it is just to keep the status of being attached, maybe its unwilling to give up, maybe its just hoping that things will turn better since things didnt turn bad throughout the years i didnt cut my losses in time, so i was badly wounded so i think TS should really consider opinions from 3rd party Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 16 hours ago, snowball said: U have been with him for 5 years, but did he ever fall in love with you before, or should i said that this is just one sided and this is not even a love relationship at all? you have the answer better than anyone, the key is not holding in your hand, perhaps he just waiting you to call off this relationship first, talk to him and see what he want Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youngpunk Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 1 hour ago, Guest True Story said: He was a dream-came-true hero, an emotional body-guard, a childhood prince-white and whichever way you viewed him, he is "perfect" - from his physical manhood right up to his little sweat pores on his body. The black mole on him, even looks like gold to you. He is youthful, good looking and most importantly, sex satisfying to your needs. Who didn't want? It has been overdued to us for many longing years and we deserved it. The gay world certainly envied me, so we thought..... Finding a replacement is arduous if you lose him. You didn't want to revisit the dark cruising journey again, standing at the clementi MRT toilet for hours, baiting and fearing of being caught. You 've seen it coming....so you wanted to hold on, hang on to him even when the light dims upon you, at least there is sex to be had. It was painful, you wanted to do everything to survive him, search for the miracle pills or to find some comforting words of hope here. Your became too occupied with fear of losing him, you began to lose your appetite and lost interest in everything. Your favorite juicy black-pepper crabs. who your mom painstakingly prepared for hours, suddently became tasteless because you missed him, you're a great story teller. i cried at the tasteless black-pepper crabs. haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Glyph Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 1 minute ago, youngpunk said: you're a great story teller. i cried at the tasteless black-pepper crabs. haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greysnow Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Hello TS, I feel you and I think it's high time you leave this guy for good. I ended my relationship with my ex as well because he felt he was in every way better than me. My care and concern for him, he took them for granted. Even when I asked him about his well-being when he was sick, he merely just said "okay". He was never free to text me but has time to text his friends etc. Actually all these were tell-tale signs that he was no longer interested in me back then. But I persisted as I thought as long as I persevered, he will feel the love and our relationship will still continue. However, things continued to worsened and we finally broke up. I was the only one who was heartbroken. How do I know, you might ask. I saw his posts on facebook always partying with his friends even when our relationship just ended. A month or two later, I heard from our mutual friend that he got attached with another guy. As for me, I finally walked out of the relationship after a year or so. TS, you should live for yourself now and not keep thinking about that guy. Like you say, you are already in your late 30s. It is time to plan for yourself, do stuff that will make you happy and not stick to someone who isn't worth your love and time. You definitely deserve someone better! All the best to you and stay positive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mssg-exchange Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Can someone pls grow a spine!? FluteGuan 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest meowth Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Ts, please be a man and break up with him NOW! Forumers can give you 10001 replies but it isn't helping if you refused to accept the truth. Live with some dignity, before you're left with none... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PictureHouse Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 I've been reading all.your inputs.... Really offering me a different perspective. OK,if still doesn't improve, I will let him know that I will walk out of his life . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PictureHouse Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Yes. The perfume and fart examples are so true I feel that he does love me. But maybe not as much I love him. We are both bottoms? Does it contribute to this ill fated relationship of 5 yrs? But in a way, he's quite consistent. He is also not very caring and warm towards his mother and family members. To.think that I will use this analogy to.console myself. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 (edited) 如果你连最基本的自爱和尊严都不"自贡",你又凭什么要对方给予肯定,乞讨来的虚情假意会香会珍贵? 自己不醒悟,别人也无法帮你。试问你还有几个五年可以给可以等,到了年老珠黄的时候,你要另一个春天的机会都没有。爱是双向互动,双方自愿为对方付出牺牲改变,如果爱的人视你为粪土,那干脆为自己而活,共勉! Edited April 3, 2016 by snowball Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Omega Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 42 minutes ago, PictureHouse said: I've been reading all.your inputs.... Really offering me a different perspective. OK,if still doesn't improve, I will let him know that I will walk out of his life Not to break your bubble: If will improve, would've already improved. Still need to wait until now? Things just seems to break down and worsen in your description where there's no longer any proper communication - he plays with phone or ipad, ignoring you. There was once my bf keep giving me attitude and picking on my every move on a random weekend. Not sure what's the reason or maybe bad hair day. I endured and endured, until after dinner jitao tell him we were both tired and let's end for the day. It was around 7pm though. Told him to take mrt while I head for the bus. No, we don't live together. Then I walked away to the bus stop straight. Few seconds later, he chased after me and asked if things are still ok with us. Of course I said yeah, but we need some space and shouldn't continue for that evening. Unfortunately for your case, I don't think your bf will really give a shit about you. I need to be harsh on you because we are quite similar. My bf is also 8years younger, late 20s now. Maybe the difference is he initiated this relationship. For once and many times, I asked myself if I should pursue this foreseeable difficult relationship to maintain. However, glad that he's making effort and not those play play kind. At times, I wish I were 8years younger or he was 8years older. Never have I expected my bf to be younger honestly. Maybe I wanted someone who loved me wholeheartedly and to protect me (someone older)? In any case, I still cherish our relationship and can't be more grateful to him for loving someone older by 8years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onlylonely Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 I hope he gets to read this.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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