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Lust VS Love


Guest mrirf

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Guest mrirf

Lust VS Love

Having been exposed to NSA and ONS, it seems like I have lost the true meaning of love.
What is love? How do I draw the line between lust and love? How do I ensure the feelings I have for the person I meet, is not due to lust? :(

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I don't think lust and love should even be on the same spectrum. Love is placing someone else's importance above ones self interest. Lust is trying to calm a raging libido. 

 

U don't need to participate in lustful activities to show u love someone. 

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Guest Sincere90

Agree that lust is different from love/like and love is build on top of genuine liking and not infatuation. And sexuality should be and had always been based on emotions  (like/love) only till recently society seems to have based it on lust.

 

kinda disagree with the obsessesion part.

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in my opinion, lust and love are 2 different things. but they do coincide at certain point. 

 

when it comes to the differences, in your case, for someone that have been in the practice of NSA and ONS for quite some time i assume as you seemed to think that you have lost the true meaning of love, i believe that it will take some time for you to be able to be sure that it is either love or simply lust. 

lemme try to be clearer. for example you meet 2 guys. A and B. at first sight, you are drawn to their physical characteristics and the way they behave themselves in public and when with you. you perhaps masturbate to them, or have naughty or even dirty thoughts about them from time to time. but after some time, with person A, there is a part of you that wants to get to know him beyond his physical characteristics. and then you seem to place his interest above yours. for example, when you are choosing the place to eat or where to hang out, you want to know what he truly likes, not cuz u r being submissive or lazy to choose, but because you truly want him to go where he really wants to go and you want him to be happy. especially with you. and when he told you he is in distress, or under the weather, or he has some problems, there is a part of you that wants to not just be there for him, but you dearly wish that you can assist him so that his predicament is remedied or abolished. and somehow, you seem to have him in your mind when you see romantic stuffs around you, not necessarily on TV, but as simple as when you see a couple eating together or walking hand in hand, and you will wish that you have him by your side doing those stuffs with you at that particular instance.

 

but with B, you dont feel all these. you only thought of him when you are faltered to lust. when you are horny. when you crave a mere physical companionship. 

what you feel with A - that is LOVE. if you feel all those, what you feel are no longer a mere infatuation. it is not obsession either. it goes beyond lust. it goes beyond a simple platonic relationship. 

 

 

when it comes to the coincidence between love and lust, i mean, when you love someone, and if you are lucky to be in a relationship, a romantic relationship with A, of course lust will play a part in the picture. i wont be wrong if i say that it is pivotal to have lust in the picture. if you dont lust him, or not lusting over him anymore when you are in a relationship with him, that is a problem in itself. and i wont be wrong either to say that in the midst of you courting him (or each other if you are lucky), lust is still in the picture, though unlike with B, it is not the only and the biggest thing in the picture. 

 

thanks for reading my long opinion. 

 

hope it helps

 

adios !

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There must be lust in love.

 

There may not be love in lust.

Edited by fab

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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SIGNS OF LUST

  • You're totally focused on a person's looks and body.
  • You're interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.
  • You'd rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
  • You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.
  • You are lovers, but not friends. 

SIGNS OF LOVE

  • You want to spend quality time together other than sex.
  • You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.
  • You want to honestly listen to each other's feelings, make each other happy.
  • He or she motivates you to be a better person.
  • You want to get to meet his or her family and friends. 

In fact, lust can lead to love. However, real love, not based on idealization or projection, requires time to get to know each other. 

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2 minutes ago, snowball said:

SIGNS OF LUST

  • You're totally focused on a person's looks and body.
  • You're interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.
  • You'd rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
  • You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.
  • You are lovers, but not friends. 

SIGNS OF LOVE

  • You want to spend quality time together other than sex.
  • You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.
  • You want to honestly listen to each other's feelings, make each other happy.
  • He or she motivates you to be a better person.
  • You want to get to meet his or her family and friends. 

In fact, lust can lead to love. However, real love, not based on idealization or projection, requires time to get to know each other. 

Very true indeed. 

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3 hours ago, snowball said:

SIGNS OF LUST

  • You're totally focused on a person's looks and body.
  • You're interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.
  • You'd rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
  • You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.
  • You are lovers, but not friends. 

SIGNS OF LOVE

  • You want to spend quality time together other than sex.
  • You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.
  • You want to honestly listen to each other's feelings, make each other happy.
  • He or she motivates you to be a better person.
  • You want to get to meet his or her family and friends. 

In fact, lust can lead to love. However, real love, not based on idealization or projection, requires time to get to know each other. 

It is difficult for lust to lead to love.... Lustful lovers can seldom break out of that fantasy realm they dwell in - once they realise that sex is overrated, and that the other person is human too - things'll just fall apart.

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