Is it necessary to be basic to be in the gay circle? + What is Basic Gay (compiled)

[Guest Sianzz]

I'm 22. I'm more of an introvert by nature, but I can be extrovert given the situation. Truthfully though, I just find it exhausting cause it seems to me that the majority of gay guys my age seem so basic e.g. clubbing, hanging out at fancy hipster outlets, having to post every single thing they do on Instastory, talking about extremely superficial stuff, etc. Now, don't get me wrong - I'll be fine to make friends and connect with them if they only do the things mentioned above from time to time. Because other times, I'd honestly like to engage in heart to heart talks about life and whatever's happening around the world and not have to worry about being 'in' with others in the circle. But a lot that I've encountered act like the basic life is the only life they know...

 

Is it them putting on a facade to show the world how awesome of a life they're having? Or is it that they're just the way they're? Cause if you ever hang out with such ppl, you might be led to believe that the entire world revolves around when to go club and which hipster food is the best.

 

At the end of the day, I'd just like to find a group of same-age friends in the circle who're more mature and down-to-earth than the bois who've to instastory their entire life day to day...

[Pubic01]

You are just more individualistic for your age and don’t seek external validation as much as some of these peers lol. You are perfectly normal. Don’t worry. It’s seems you already know what works for you. Don’t have to compromise just because everyone else is doing it. 

Edited August 20, 2018 by Pubic01

[Guest Chapter 20]

It is a journey you have to seek out, no fast fix.  Many people here went through decades of bitter, sweet, sour experiences to form a book.  You haven't started your first chapter, go slow and let circumstances do the work.

[kingbitch]

I didnt know the word basic is used that way. I do think "basic" people are pathetic. But as a 35 year old, I have no idea how else you can socialize within your age group.... Maybe you can keep socializing until you stumble across some friends who aren't that "basic". 

Edited August 20, 2018 by kingbitch

[heliumduck]

simi is basic?

go live your live free and the way you want

[Guest duh]

1 hour ago, Guest Sianzz said:

I'm 22. I'm more of an introvert by nature, but I can be extrovert given the situation. Truthfully though, I just find it exhausting cause it seems to me that the majority of gay guys my age seem so basic e.g. clubbing, hanging out at fancy hipster outlets, having to post every single thing they do on Instastory, talking about extremely superficial stuff, etc. Now, don't get me wrong - I'll be fine to make friends and connect with them if they only do the things mentioned above from time to time. Because other times, I'd honestly like to engage in heart to heart talks about life and whatever's happening around the world and not have to worry about being 'in' with others in the circle. But a lot that I've encountered act like the basic life is the only life they know...

 

Is it them putting on a facade to show the world how awesome of a life they're having? Or is it that they're just the way they're? Cause if you ever hang out with such ppl, you might be led to believe that the entire world revolves around when to go club and which hipster food is the best.

 

At the end of the day, I'd just like to find a group of same-age friends in the circle who're more mature and down-to-earth than the bois who've to instastory their entire life day to day...

Have you even gone to meet up with and hang out with your so-called peers?

Because insta-crazy, there are several others who are NOT.  You just have to find them.

Look in interest groups, not Grindr/Jack'd/Instagram.  Many of all age groups are not of the Instastory type.

 

[Guest Sharon Stone]

2 hours ago, Guest Sianzz said:

I'm 22.  I just find it exhausting cause it seems to me that the majority of gay guys my age seem so basic e.g. clubbing, hanging out at fancy hipster outlets, having to post every single thing they do on Instastory, talking about extremely superficial stuff, etc.

You will be surprised such "basics" happens in different age group too,  30s. 40s, 50s and 60s.   You haven't see enough. 

[Guest Instynct]

I agree. Find gay guys in your age group who are not "basic" as you say and make friends with them. It will probably take a bit more time but it will also be more rewarding. Stay true to yourself and do what really makes you happy.

[kingbitch]

 

1 hour ago, Guest Sharon Stone said:

You will be surprised such "basics" happens in different age group too,  30s. 40s, 50s and 60s.   You haven't see enough. 

 

I know. It's disgusting.

 

Then again this group of guys finds people like me disgusting because we don't follow what they consider cool - fashion, social media - so it's just a you versus me thing.

[lohwpr]

3 hours ago, Guest Sianzz said:

I'm 22. I'm more of an introvert by nature, but I can be extrovert given the situation. Truthfully though, I just find it exhausting cause it seems to me that the majority of gay guys my age seem so basic e.g. clubbing, hanging out at fancy hipster outlets, having to post every single thing they do on Instastory, talking about extremely superficial stuff, etc. Now, don't get me wrong - I'll be fine to make friends and connect with them if they only do the things mentioned above from time to time. Because other times, I'd honestly like to engage in heart to heart talks about life and whatever's happening around the world and not have to worry about being 'in' with others in the circle. But a lot that I've encountered act like the basic life is the only life they know...

 

Is it them putting on a facade to show the world how awesome of a life they're having? Or is it that they're just the way they're? Cause if you ever hang out with such ppl, you might be led to believe that the entire world revolves around when to go club and which hipster food is the best.

 

At the end of the day, I'd just like to find a group of same-age friends in the circle who're more mature and down-to-earth than the bois who've to instastory their entire life day to day...

 

The word u r looking for is "SHALLOW"?

[Creevie]

I'll be honest, most ppl who have the looks or the background (money) will do it. Those who don't will feel envious (natural; human nature), and will talk them down. But really, it's all human nature. 

Much like those on Grindr who talk about inner beauty or sincerity - it's all about what you're born with or into... of coz there're exceptions. 

I believe I'm not being cynical here. Just a bit real. I could go on man... 

Edited August 20, 2018 by Creevie

[Guest Jaded]

If you have noticed...

Every now and then, there will be someone saying is "majority" of gays XXX/XXXX, etc.

What makes you think others won't have the same viewpoint as you?

 

You are an adult. I'm sure you know where to find the right channels. 

Even you are at a superficial setting... simply initiate such talks to the 'superficial' people you thought they might be - You'll be surprised they are just like you... with different set of hidden struggles

 

[Guest Hmm]

I feel you! I find it hard to relate to my generation at times (this really goes beyond sexual orientation). 

 

I think you're definitely looking at the wrong places. "Go where they go" - seems like a good thing to keep in mind. You don't expect to find people discussing free will at a club at 2am, do you?

 

6 hours ago, Pubic01 said:

You are just more individualistic for your age and don’t seek external validation as much as some of these peers lol. You are perfectly normal. Don’t worry. It’s seems you already know what works for you. Don’t have to compromise just because everyone else is doing it. 

This.

 

[Guest JJJ]

Hi. I'm currently 23 turning 24. I can totally relate to what you've said. It seems extremely difficult to make friends in this circle, the apps aren't working for me and it seems like there's no other platform for me to meet new people of my age group  I just want to have a closely knitted group of friends to adult with :/ 

[NewGuy]

Guess I am in the same situation. 

Im now 21. feels quite lonely in this social circles. No one have the same hobby or anything to make friends with.

[Patrickvivian]

On 8/20/2018 at 3:50 PM, Guest Sianzz said:

I'm 22. I'm more of an introvert by nature, but I can be extrovert given the situation. Truthfully though, I just find it exhausting cause it seems to me that the majority of gay guys my age seem so basic e.g. clubbing, hanging out at fancy hipster outlets, having to post every single thing they do on Instastory, talking about extremely superficial stuff, etc. Now, don't get me wrong - I'll be fine to make friends and connect with them if they only do the things mentioned above from time to time. Because other times, I'd honestly like to engage in heart to heart talks about life and whatever's happening around the world and not have to worry about being 'in' with others in the circle. But a lot that I've encountered act like the basic life is the only life they know...

 

Is it them putting on a facade to show the world how awesome of a life they're having? Or is it that they're just the way they're? Cause if you ever hang out with such ppl, you might be led to believe that the entire world revolves around when to go club and which hipster food is the best.

 

At the end of the day, I'd just like to find a group of same-age friends in the circle who're more mature and down-to-earth than the bois who've to instastory their entire life day to day...

Maturity comes with age and there is no short cut to it. Generally as a person mature in age they do mellow down quite a bit and tend to shy away from loud and noisy places. They are more secure in who they are and often would dare speak the truth. There are people your age who feel the same way as you do; you need to patiently seek them out. I am already 55 and often enjoy small cozy gathering where conversations come from the heart.

[repressednerd]

The fuckboi way of life is just a passing phase. Once their bodies slow down as they approach 30, they will settle down and get into closer circles of friends. It might be social circles that you may not be included in but they won't be as basic as they are right now, and likely something that won't make you jaded. The rarer kind will continue this fuckboi lifestyle or what some call the gay circuit boy life.

 

I would sit down and jot on a piece of paper the ten things I like to do during my free time. And eliminate to five and then to two to three. These two to three things would be the interests I like the most and I will seek out activities related to them e.g. Facebook events, Meetup etc. When I'm doing these stuff, I won't really care if the gay people I know are basic or not.

[Guest Bien]

1 hour ago, repressednerd said:

The fuckboi way of life or what some call the gay circuit boy life.....

is a product of internet and handphones.  

 

It led you onto this life of what you call basic.

 

Be the individualistic person if you like and yet reachable by these technos.  Put simply, do what you like to do and not follow what others like you to do.  I notice those who standout in life are the ones who practice doing what they like.

 

So much so food for thoughts.

[thorzguy]

Everyone definition of basic varies.

Just be yourself and you will be fine.

[Guest Giraffe]

Take a look at Meetup. You may find others who share the same interests as you. 

https://www.meetup.com/cities/sg/singapore

[Guest Sigh]

On 8/20/2018 at 3:50 PM, Guest Sianzz said:

I'm 22. I'm more of an introvert by nature, but I can be extrovert given the situation. Truthfully though, I just find it exhausting cause it seems to me that the majority of gay guys my age seem so basic e.g. clubbing, hanging out at fancy hipster outlets, having to post every single thing they do on Instastory, talking about extremely superficial stuff, etc. Now, don't get me wrong - I'll be fine to make friends and connect with them if they only do the things mentioned above from time to time. Because other times, I'd honestly like to engage in heart to heart talks about life and whatever's happening around the world and not have to worry about being 'in' with others in the circle. But a lot that I've encountered act like the basic life is the only life they know...

 

Is it them putting on a facade to show the world how awesome of a life they're having? Or is it that they're just the way they're? Cause if you ever hang out with such ppl, you might be led to believe that the entire world revolves around when to go club and which hipster food is the best.

 

At the end of the day, I'd just like to find a group of same-age friends in the circle who're more mature and down-to-earth than the bois who've to instastory their entire life day to day...

You're obviously hanging out with the wrong crowd.

[Patrickvivian]

On 8/20/2018 at 3:50 PM, Guest Sianzz said:

I'm 22. I'm more of an introvert by nature, but I can be extrovert given the situation. Truthfully though, I just find it exhausting cause it seems to me that the majority of gay guys my age seem so basic e.g. clubbing, hanging out at fancy hipster outlets, having to post every single thing they do on Instastory, talking about extremely superficial stuff, etc. Now, don't get me wrong - I'll be fine to make friends and connect with them if they only do the things mentioned above from time to time. Because other times, I'd honestly like to engage in heart to heart talks about life and whatever's happening around the world and not have to worry about being 'in' with others in the circle. But a lot that I've encountered act like the basic life is the only life they know...

 

Is it them putting on a facade to show the world how awesome of a life they're having? Or is it that they're just the way they're? Cause if you ever hang out with such ppl, you might be led to believe that the entire world revolves around when to go club and which hipster food is the best.

 

At the end of the day, I'd just like to find a group of same-age friends in the circle who're more mature and down-to-earth than the bois who've to instastory their entire life day to day...

Age is not a good measure of a person's maturity. Nonetheless it is true that young people make themselves busy with meaningless activities; all they want is a bit of action. Your age is young but your mindset is much more mature. I suggest you balance your time with them and some older gay men.

[Guest 36yo]

Basic = go clubbing, posting and looking glam on insta, dine at hipster joints ?? Omg, thats called Basic ?

 

Then stay at home watch netflix, gg to cheap saunas to cruise, eat at hawker centres, drink kopi at kopi tiam..is called what ? Pathetic ?

[Kimochi]

55 minutes ago, Guest 36yo said:

Basic = go clubbing, posting and looking glam on insta, dine at hipster joints ?? Omg, thats called Basic ?

 

Then stay at home watch netflix, gg to cheap saunas to cruise, eat at hawker centres, drink kopi at kopi tiam..is called what ? Pathetic ?

Haha this is funny.  

[Guest BASICMAN]

I DIDNT KNOW BASIC MEANS CLUBBING, HANGING OUT AT HIPSTER OUTLETS, POST EVERYTHING ON INSTASTORY, TALK ABOUT SUPERFICIAL STUFF ETC.

 

 

I THOUGHT BASIC MEANS EVERYDAY WAKE UP GO WORK, AFTER WORK GO HOME, WEEKENDS STAY AT HOME. BASICALLY WORK EAT SLEEP REPEAT OMG.

 

 

[Guest Hmm]

There seems to be an assumption that a gay man has to be in the gay circle/scene.

 

Well, the truth is, he doesn't. There are plenty of homosexual men out there who don't associate with the toxic, shallow, sex-crazed meat market that is the gay community. Live your life the way you wish, for yourself.

[Guest Hmm]

basic

 

1.3North American derogatory, informal Having tastes, interests, or attitudes regarded as mainstream or conventional (typically used of a woman)

‘if your date orders vegetable tempura you know she is totally basic’

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/basic

 

Basic 

only interested in things mainstream, popular, and trending

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Basic

 

 

 

[mate69]

1 hour ago, Guest Hmm said:

There seems to be an assumption that a gay man has to be in the gay circle/scene.

 

Well, the truth is, he doesn't. There are plenty of homosexual men out there who don't associate with the toxic, shallow, sex-crazed meat market that is the gay community. Live your life the way you wish, for yourself.

 

exactly.

 

[ArchDragon]

You are probably looking at the wrong area. I don't do any of the above and yet I have a close friends from this circle

[auscent]

Hey

I say: maybe do a bit of 'basic' things. Instag not ur face but items/places u that means something to u.

 

U need a connection to ur typical age group activities. But no need go all out to follow their trend. Or else ull resent urself, not to mention lose ur unique self. Bit of a balance.

[Alponsu]

Honestly it is a matter of finding the right friends. I think this "basic" problem exists both among gays and others. Hope you find a group of friends who are the right personality match to you!

[mate69]

Just be yourself. Down the road, you would think back and realise that it was actually all nothing "worrying" over something like this. 

[Guest Puntay]

We have heard the term basic bitch. What about basic gay? Is there such a thing as basic gay and how do you tell one is?

[lean n mean]

Bitches who label others as basic are just base. They are usually wannabes with no class, just crass.

[Guest Teanly Cleacher]

A similar thread to this topic already exists and may contain answers.

 

https://www.blowingwind.io/forum/topic/97543-is-it-necessary-to-be-basic-to-be-in-the-gay-circle/

 

It was started by a guest approximately a year and three months ago.

[Guest Namit]

On 10/29/2019 at 10:15 AM, lean n mean said:

Bitches who label others as basic are just base. They are usually wannabes with no class, just crass.

 

So how about Premium Gay?

[Gayleo]

On 8/20/2018 at 2:50 PM, Guest Sianzz said:

I'm 22. I'm more of an introvert by nature, but I can be extrovert given the situation. Truthfully though, I just find it exhausting cause it seems to me that the majority of gay guys my age seem so basic e.g. clubbing, hanging out at fancy hipster outlets, having to post every single thing they do on Instastory, talking about extremely superficial stuff, etc. Now, don't get me wrong - I'll be fine to make friends and connect with them if they only do the things mentioned above from time to time. Because other times, I'd honestly like to engage in heart to heart talks about life and whatever's happening around the world and not have to worry about being 'in' with others in the circle. But a lot that I've encountered act like the basic life is the only life they know...

 

Is it them putting on a facade to show the world how awesome of a life they're having? Or is it that they're just the way they're? Cause if you ever hang out with such ppl, you might be led to believe that the entire world revolves around when to go club and which hipster food is the best.

 

At the end of the day, I'd just like to find a group of same-age friends in the circle who're more mature and down-to-earth than the bois who've to instastory their entire life day to day...

 

Basic gay just means you are into the things most gays are into (Ru Paul, Instagram, gym, brunch, parties). If you are interested in things most other people in the community are interested in, naturally you will find it easier to make friends since got common interests. Straight guys also the same (soccer, gaming, girls). 

 

But judging from the way you phrase your question, you obviously feel like you are better than these so-called basic gays? Not sure why you seem to think that just because these so called 'basic gays' enjoy partying etc, they don't have heart-to-heart talks and genuine friendships? Obviously no one is going to IG story themselves HTHT right?

 

Maybe when you stop being so judgemental and open your mind a bit, you will start making friends in the community and quit bitching about people you obviously don't know. 

[feedersmiracle]

Idk I'm 20 plus and I don't have Instagram or Snapchat like who needs those things...

 

Twitter and Facebook is just for me to log in to game accounts. Both are very dead.

 

I just watch Kamen Rider (if you're judging me - I like that they wear leather suits) and some vloggers on YouTube. Don't have a lot of friends, don't need friends... 

 

Drinking no party no. Just play Archero and AFKArena lol. And go to work. Plan my life.

Edited November 14, 2019 by feedersmiracle

[Guest Guest]

In Singapore Good Race/nationality is the basic, without a good race you are not going to be accepted no matter how hot u are.

[FattChoy]

I once asked my basic gay friend why he took party drugs in clubs.  He said without drugs he's just an introvert quiet guy and after drugs he will loosen up and party and be much more sociable. 

 

 So I get that he doesn't want to be himself and just wanna cut loose, which the drugs can help him.   I was thinking, "What type of senseless loser explanation is this?  When these people are laughing,  are they really crying".  

 

That's when I stopped going to clubs, not interested with these sad-assed people who do drugs and alcohol to forget themselves.

[Steve5380]

12 hours ago, FattChoy said:

I once asked my basic gay friend why he took party drugs in clubs.  He said without drugs he's just an introvert quiet guy and after drugs he will loosen up and party and be much more sociable. 

 

 So I get that he doesn't want to be himself and just wanna cut loose, which the drugs can help him.   I was thinking, "What type of senseless loser explanation is this?  When these people are laughing,  are they really crying".  

 

That's when I stopped going to clubs, not interested with these sad-assed people who do drugs and alcohol to forget themselves.

 

Your basic gay friend could become smart.  There is a benefit in using party drugs to loosen up and be much more sociable.  After using the drugs and learn about oneself that one is able to loosen up and be as sociable as anyone else, the smart work is in trying to be as loose and sociable as one knows one can be, but without using them or using them less.  Then little by little the "himself" starts gaining looseness and sociability.

[Guest Guest90]

22 hours ago, FattChoy said:

I once asked my basic gay friend why he took party drugs in clubs.  He said without drugs he's just an introvert quiet guy and after drugs he will loosen up and party and be much more sociable. 

 

 So I get that he doesn't want to be himself and just wanna cut loose, which the drugs can help him.   I was thinking, "What type of senseless loser explanation is this?  When these people are laughing,  are they really crying".  

 

That's when I stopped going to clubs, not interested with these sad-assed people who do drugs and alcohol to forget themselves.

 

Ok boomer.

 

Just because your ONE friend gave this reason, that must be the reason why every gay takes drugs/alcohol...

 

 

[Guest guest]

On 11/15/2019 at 8:05 PM, FattChoy said:

I once asked my basic gay friend why he took party drugs in clubs.  He said without drugs he's just an introvert quiet guy and after drugs he will loosen up and party and be much more sociable. 

 

 So I get that he doesn't want to be himself and just wanna cut loose, which the drugs can help him.   I was thinking, "What type of senseless loser explanation is this?  When these people are laughing,  are they really crying".  

 

That's when I stopped going to clubs, not interested with these sad-assed people who do drugs and alcohol to forget themselves.

 

Dont think there is anything wrong to have alcohol. but drugs i still believe should be a hard no. Often there are times people get drunk to have fun with friends which i think is acceptable. Just feel that everyone differs in their way of socializing with others. I feel TS is probably one of those guys that just dont enjoy the party scene. Shouldn't mistaken it for others being "superficial" though. Its just not your cup of tea. You could be going to cafe and drinking hipster coffee and not posting it on social media. Or alternatively go clubbing just for fun without the social media.