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Yeah I can. With a straw.

Since was in the mood, let me share this. First some background, at my camp there were different night duty personals, other than the usual guards, we had duty officer, duty clerk, cook, driver. The guards would be at the guard house, cook in his bunk, driver in MT line which left Duty clerk and Duty officer shared a double decker bed in a aircon office located in the main HQ. For the guards, we had to report to duty officer on the status of the camp (eg after the gates locked) or any ad hoc matters. That night, such matter occurred and I had to bring attention to the officer. I walked to the aircon office, for some reasons (one I would explain later), i knocked on the door, immediately opened and walked in. Almost instantly I saw the duty clerk jumped away from the duty officer. Both were shirtless, the clerk was in his army shorts, whereas the officer was in a pair of white underwear. Why I remembered so vividly the color of his underwear as it was almost transparent in the front groin area due to wetness. I could guess that the clerk must have been licking the officer over his underwear. The officer was late 30s, married with kids, while the clerk was around my age. The officer was very friendly to all the men, and constantly jokes around with us, that’s one of the reason why I entered the room before approval as I knew he was the duty officer that night. Both were undeniably embarrassed, with the officer quickly ducked for cover while the clerk came to attend me. I quickly informed them of my purpose and left the room. Not long after, the clerk came running for me, he didn’t know how to place it. Since both the officer and the clerk were in good terms with me. I told him that I didn’t see anything and had nothing to say. Initially the officer and clerk were afraid that I might spill the beans or even threatened them but true to my words, I didn’t breathe a word to others during my army time. Hence our relationship returned normal after a while. I did realize that everytime the officer was on duty, the duty clerk would almost be that same clerk.

Joke: Grandma on a Cruise The children and grand children of an elderly woman decided to send grandma on a cruise... Grandma boarded the ship and showed her ticket to the purser. He looked at it and said, "Oh, I see you have U.D." She replied, "U.D.? Voos is U.D.? He said, "U.D. is Upper Deck." She then went to the upper deck and showed her ticket to the purser there and he said, I see, that in addition to U.D., you also have O.C. "Grandma replied, "O.C.? Voos is O.C.?" The purser said, "O.C. is Outside Cabin." Grandma, needless to say, was delighted. She then showed her ticket to the cabin boy, and he said, "Oh, I see that you also have B.I.B." "B.I.B.? Voos is B.I.B.?" asked grandma. The cabin boy answered, " B.I.B. is Breakfast In Bed." "Oh!" she said; Mine children and grandchildren are vonderful." Well, the next morning, bright and early, the staff came right into her room with trays of food for her breakfast in bed, and she said, "F.U.C.K.." Shocked, they said, "F.U.C.K? What do you mean F.U.C.K.?", to which she replied, "Yes, F.U.C.K. Foist U Could Knock!

Joke: Shopping The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts and I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few skimpy pre-packaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping." Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the gentleman who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."

Joke: Public Toilet Gary and Martin were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when Gary glanced over and noticed that Martin's penis was twisted like a corkscrew. "Wow," Gary said. "I've never seen one like that before." "Like what?" Martin said. "All twisted like a pig's tail," Gary said. "Well, what's yours like?" Martin said. "Straight, like normal," Gary said. "I thought mine was normal until I saw yours," Martin said. Gary finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shakedown prior to putting it back in his pants. "What did you do that for?" Martin said. "Shaking off the excess drops," Gary said. "Like normal." "fxxks!," Martin said. "And all these years I've been wringing it."

Prejudiced shallow statement. As if Sg doesn't have VD.