amuse.ed Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 *Came across this new term and thought that's interesting to explore.* How can one avoid or regulate their emotions in such circumstances? Benching: "Players (daters) who warm up with the rest of the team in hopes to get some play time. However, they are intentionally removed from the game and kept from playing in the game. They sit waiting on the bench, just in case another player gets injured, quits the game, or the coach loses interest. The coach continues to encourage the benched player, making sure they are ready to get in the game if the coach so decides. The player is left waiting, hoping the next time their coach looks their way, it will be their time to play." https://www.meetmindful.com/benching/# Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amuse.ed Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 (edited) A possible INTJ love response akin to benching or ghosting. Edited May 25, 2020 by amuse.ed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tried Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 At first, I thought I'll give it a try. Who am I to be choosy, right? I met a few and really really could not find the interest in them. I hinted to them but a few just didn't want to take the hint. I tried to be nice but after a while it got on my nerves, feeling like they're stalking me. I myself had liked someone and even had sex a few times with him. When he got disinterested, I gave up. Then he came back and we had sex again. Then he got disinterested again. This time I just cut him off. If I can let go even after multiple sex, I thought others would be that cool about amicable separation also. I may have told them some naughty things and even agreed to naked hugs but it's never sex so there's no sexual intimacy that binds. Maybe at that time after the failed relationship I was on the rebound but I thought I'm nobody so no harm right? why not try and see. I'm just not attracted to them and no matter how nice they are to me, I couldn't reciprocate. At best I tried petting but not heavy. On the other hand, the one I'm attracted to was cruel to me once, yet I couldn't resist giving in to him despite of that. Then he jilted me again. Despite that, I still prefer him over the others. Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you? Or are you going back to the one you love? Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you Someone's gonna thank the stars above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amuse.ed Posted May 25, 2020 Author Share Posted May 25, 2020 (edited) 22 hours ago, Guest Tried said: At first, I thought I'll give it a try. Who am I to be choosy, right? I met a few and really really could not find the interest in them. I hinted to them but a few just didn't want to take the hint. I tried to be nice but after a while it got on my nerves, feeling like they're stalking me. I myself had liked someone and even had sex a few times with him. When he got disinterested, I gave up. Then he came back and we had sex again. Then he got disinterested again. This time I just cut him off. If I can let go even after multiple sex, I thought others would be that cool about amicable separation also. I may have told them some naughty things and even agreed to naked hugs but it's never sex so there's no sexual intimacy that binds. Maybe at that time after the failed relationship I was on the rebound but I thought I'm nobody so no harm right? why not try and see. I'm just not attracted to them and no matter how nice they are to me, I couldn't reciprocate. At best I tried petting but not heavy. On the other hand, the one I'm attracted to was cruel to me once, yet I couldn't resist giving in to him despite of that. Then he jilted me again. Despite that, I still prefer him over the others. Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you? Or are you going back to the one you love? Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you Someone's gonna thank the stars above. My experiences on being the "bencher and benchee" 🙂 Perhaps its time for me to be assertive Putting my point across for him to hear and see Letting him know that I am least interested And either he can choose to stay or leave Often the reality sucks, some may even give their "ego a tuck" They will start to say "I think too much" this was not how it supposed to be Some will dissociate me and disappear Others will keep a distant but we will still follow each other on Facebook and IG I rather not see them as stalkers but people who came into my life for a purpose To teach me how to live and respect others as a human To show the unconditional love if we do still treasure one another Not as lovers but as associates, contacts or friends whom we once shared a bond I wonder if its fair to put love on a weighing scale To measure if I am being more loved Part of unconditional love is also about being patience Till the day when the person said no, I will still hold on Edited May 25, 2020 by amuse.ed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bumi Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 How often have you been benched? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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