Can an old people take care themselves without going to old folk's home?

[Guest old]

Can I take care myself when I'm old without needing help from others or going to old folk's home? Is it possible? till I die? 

[Guest Senior]

when i reach 65 or when i feel it is time, my plan is to move to those hdb apartments meant for seniors such as this:

 

https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/health/new-assisted-living-serviced-flats-for-seniors-to-be-rolled-out-this-year

 

u can still stay alone by yourself, but u get help if u need

 

[Guest Jason]

As long as you are not bedridden, you should be ok to stay on your own.

 

But be warned that once you lose your balance and suffer from a fall, it's all downhill from there.

[upshot]

The issues of growing old and living alone is not new to everyone.

 

Gay or any other form of sexuality in the spectrum, likely you will be looking after your parent if they are still living. And when they are gone, you are living alone.

 

You are str8 and a bachelor by choice. Once your parents dies after caring for them, You are living alone.

 

If you have a partner and your partner dies before you, you are by yourself (female or male) partner. With no kids? You are living alone.

 

If you have kids but you live away from them for reasons of them not supporting you for whatever the reason, your privacy, you are very independent person when your wife or husband dies, tension with a family member ...etc.You are living alone.

 

You can still die alone in your own home and your kids are not in the same house in sudden deaths.

 

Best Scenario #1, Living with your love ones in the same home with them looking after you till your last days ( in your own death bed with them at your side) hopefully you are not the last one standing. If not, You are living alone.

 

Best Scenario #2. Check yourself into an aged home. Depending on how much you can afford to fork out for the 'stay-till-you-die' will translate to how well looked after and level of comfort you get. You are still technically living & dying alone.

 

Best Scenario #3. Live large, live fast and hope it all end at the peak of it quickly and go out with a bang. And for some that mean a time of your choosing. Euthanasia.

 

I know it sound bleak but that is the cycle of life. A time for everything. And hopefully you use that time well and in the right order of priorities because what you do is in directly IN PREPARATION for that end as well.

 

I am two third spent at my age. Only my final third remains. At this time of your life, it would be funny to see anyone worry about grey hair, losing hair, small cocks, big cocks not working anymore, cute boys not looking at me the same way, only ugly males want to fuck me while all the gorgeous ones ignore me in the spa, making fun of others because you have a better tool and in demand...etc All that will suddenly not seem ... so important.

 

Don't look at this as something to make you worry or lose your sex urge suddenly when you read this. Use it to show you how to be humble by your precious and limited life span and what you should do with it and how to relate with people and not think you are invincible. You can if you choose to but at the end of the day, you still wear your pants one leg at a time., And quite possible someone might have to help you wear it too. Can you then still hold your head up high and be graceful growing old and dying?

 

Make your time count. Moderate your vices. It's the same for everyone under the sun.

 

Edited June 21, 2020 by upshot

[Guest guest]

If a person is not bedridden and do not have any health issues which have problem taking care himself, no need to go old folk's home also ok. You can see there are many elderly staying alone. 

[amuse.ed]

2 hours ago, upshot said:

The issues of growing old and living alone is not new to everyone.

 

Gay or any other form of sexuality in the spectrum, likely you will be looking after your parent if they are still living. And when they are gone, you are living alone.

 

You are str8 and a bachelor by choice. Once your parents dies after caring for them, You are living alone.

 

If you have a partner and your partner dies before you, you are by yourself (female or male) partner. With no kids? You are living alone.

 

If you have kids but you live away from them for reasons of them not supporting you for whatever the reason, your privacy, you are very independent person when your wife or husband dies, tension with a family member ...etc.You are living alone.

 

You can still die alone in your own home and your kids are not in the same house in sudden deaths.

 

Best Scenario #1, Living with your love ones in the same home with them looking after you till your last days ( in your own death bed with them at your side) hopefully you are not the last one standing. If not, You are living alone.

 

Best Scenario #2. Check yourself into an aged home. Depending on how much you can afford to fork out for the 'stay-till-you-die' will translate to how well looked after and level of comfort you get. You are still technically living & dying alone.

 

Best Scenario #3. Live large, live fast and hope it all end at the peak of it quickly and go out with a bang. And for some that mean a time of your choosing. Euthanasia.

 

I know it sound bleak but that is the cycle of life. A time for everything. And hopefully you use that time well and in the right order of priorities because what you do is in directly IN PREPARATION for that end as well.

 

I am two third spent at my age. Only my final third remains. At this time of your life, it would be funny to see anyone worry about grey hair, losing hair, small cocks, big cocks not working anymore, cute boys not looking at me the same way, only ugly males want to fuck me while all the gorgeous ones ignore me in the spa, making fun of others because you have a better tool and in demand...etc All that will suddenly not seem ... so important.

 

Don't look at this as something to make you worry or lose your sex urge suddenly when you read this. Use it to show you how to be humble by your precious and limited life span and what you should do with it and how to relate with people and not think you are invincible. You can if you choose to but at the end of the day, you still wear your pants one leg at a time., And quite possible someone might have to help you wear it too. Can you then still hold your head up high and be graceful growing old and dying?

 

Make your time count. Moderate your vices. It's the same for everyone under the sun.

 

reminded me of an analogy of feeding the white dog and starve the black if you wish the white to win in a dog fight. 👍

[lean n mean]

Why worry about things that may not even happen. Some people die young. My friend just did. So just enjoy the NOW as much as you can and don't worry too much about stuff that may or may not happen in the future. Life may not turn out the way you expect it to.

[cutejack]

21 minutes ago, lean n mean said:

Why worry about things that may not even happen. Some people die young. My friend just did. So just enjoy the NOW as much as you can and don't worry too much about stuff that may or may not happen in the future. Life may not turn out the way you expect it to.

Oh dear, how yr fren died ? May he RIP

[Steve5380]

3 hours ago, lean n mean said:

Why worry about things that may not even happen. Some people die young. My friend just did. So just enjoy the NOW as much as you can and don't worry too much about stuff that may or may not happen in the future. Life may not turn out the way you expect it to.

 

You are right.  We never know.  You may enjoy the NOW as much as you can without worries, and Life... ups!.. decides for you to become and old man.  With plenty of time to regret not having had more precautions and made better previsions for old age  

 

7 hours ago, Guest Jason said:

As long as you are not bedridden, you should be ok to stay on your own.

 

But be warned that once you lose your balance and suffer from a fall, it's all downhill from there.

 

Unfortunately,  a bad fall can be the end of independent living.  But we can prevent this.

 

Look into the thread "It is smart to learn to fall safely".

 

10 hours ago, Guest old said:

Can I take care myself when I'm old without needing help from others or going to old folk's home? Is it possible? till I die? 

 

It is perfectly possible.  It depends on two factors:

1- What you do during your life,  staying healthy and strong for as long as possible,  building relationships and acquiring knowledge that may help in the future.

2- What modern technology is doing to assist in reducing the effort of normal living.

 

Independent living is possible until very old, and only during a short period of time some palliative care may be needed at the end.   In many cases the end comes unexpected and peaceful.

[Guest Guests]

It’s not only about living life now, lean and mean. 
 

It’s also about having this thought i.e. some plans. In case if is happens, we’ll not be too shocked to think rationally and make appropriate plans as desired - preparedness.

 

We can still live life to the fullest and be prepared at the same time.

[Guest You think you wat?]

9 hours ago, lean n mean said:

Why worry about things that may not even happen. Some people die young. My friend just did. 

You don't understand the topic issit. TS is saying people died alone.  Your friend died alone to rot, with no one claiming his body meh? Now get back to the topic of "dying alone".  You think you wat?

[Guest Crazy & Freaky Guy]

6 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Look into the thread "It is smart to learn to fall safely".

 

A fall is a fall, safely or not, is still not good for the elderly, One can still break a bone, a knuckle, or get twisted whether you fall safely, beautifully or artistically.   The best prevention for elderly, is not  to carry heavy stuff, should not rush over things, should not  walk sideway, backway or diagonally way.  Always carry a walking stick, install  grab bars around the house though it may not look athestically pleasing,  should always wear a nice slip resistant flip flops (design of your choice) in the bath room and stop masturbating.  Have less furnitures to prevent knocking over, kicked over or banged over. Minimalism keeps the risk away.  

 

Always switch on the house lights and  keep every emergency numbers printed, in 34 fonts sizes, near to your phone set.  Turn your walk-in wardrobe into a self-helped clinical stores, fully stocked with both Western and Eastern traditional medicines, to treat all foreseeable old age ailments from head to toe, internally and externally too.  

 

Hoard every canned and dried food you find in this world, for emergency, in case you became house bound.  Last but not least, go and find the loudest, ear-piercing noise PA speaker system and then have it installed on your roof-top and with a push of the  button next to your bed,  it can shake the whole neighbourhood within 300 miles radius if you need that "little bit" of attention from your nearest neighbour to come to your rescue. 

 

If all else fail,  closed all the windows, turn on the stove and light a cigar.  Let your neighbours enjoy,  on that spectacular moment, festive-like fireworks views that raised up to the night sky.  OK, joke aside.  

 

Staying in the religious old folks home of your choice is still the best option if your heart is weak and your limps are feeble.  Otherwise, carry on with your ballet dance to rejuvenate the beautiful male body God has created and I think porridge helps. 

[Guest Mary]

17 hours ago, Guest old said:

Can I take care myself when I'm old without needing help from others or going to old folk's home? Is it possible? till I die? 

What a stupid and no brainer topic 

 

Isnt it straight forward, about how fit you are ? 

 

My mum 84 can .  My friend 69 cannot because he has stroke 

 

Please assume that people has very very very basic common sense ! 

 

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, Guest Crazy & Freaky Guy said:

A fall is a fall, safely or not, is still not good for the elderly, One can still break a bone, a knuckle, or get twisted whether you fall safely, beautifully or artistically.   The best prevention for elderly, is not  to carry heavy stuff, should not rush over things, should not  walk sideway, backway or diagonally way.  Always carry a walking stick, install  grab bars around the house though it may not look athestically pleasing,  should always wear a nice slip resistant flip flops (design of your choice) in the bath room and stop masturbating.  Have less furnitures to prevent knocking over, kicked over or banged over. Minimalism keeps the risk away.  

 

Always switch on the house lights and  keep every emergency numbers printed, in 34 fonts sizes, near to your phone set.  Turn your walk-in wardrobe into a self-helped clinical stores, fully stocked with both Western and Eastern traditional medicines, to treat all foreseeable old age ailments from head to toe, internally and externally too.  

 

Hoard every canned and dried food you find in this world, for emergency, in case you became house bound.  Last but not least, go and find the loudest, ear-piercing noise PA speaker system and then have it installed on your roof-top and with a push of the  button next to your bed,  it can shake the whole neighbourhood within 300 miles radius if you need that "little bit" of attention from your nearest neighbour to come to your rescue. 

 

If all else fail,  closed all the windows, turn on the stove and light a cigar.  Let your neighbours enjoy,  on that spectacular moment, festive-like fireworks views that raised up to the night sky.  OK, joke aside.  

 

Staying in the religious old folks home of your choice is still the best option if your heart is weak and your limps are feeble.  Otherwise, carry on with your ballet dance to rejuvenate the beautiful male body God has created and I think porridge helps. 

 

Very good recommendations!   To pick and choose from, depending on one's physical condition and other circumstances.

 

To learn to fall in the best way possible  (not all falls are the same) is one part.  Another complementary part is to keep good bone density.  One sad fact is that in older people, sometimes  the broken bone is not the result of the fall,  but... the fall is the result of the broken bone !!  It is important starting in middle age to care for our bones.  And this is not simply taking calcium supplements.  Heavy weight lifting keeps the bones engaged and healthy, the same as... falling!  Yes, safely falling also exercises the bones.  And to keep their adequate mineral content it is advisable to get sufficient calcium in the diet plus supplements of vitamins D3, K2, A, and using sea salt instead of regular salt.   And in the topic of falling, it helps to have carpet on the floors that can cushion a fall and also avoid slipping.

 

One more help to the old body comes from stretching.  Flexibility, together with strong legs from leg exercises, will extend the time during which we are functional.  One guarantee of longevity is to have strong quadriceps, and to be able to stand up from lying on the floor without using our hands.

 

 

[lean n mean]

4 hours ago, Guest You think you wat? said:

You don't understand the topic issit. TS is saying people died alone.  Your friend died alone to rot, with no one claiming his body meh? Now get back to the topic of "dying alone".  You think you wat?

You think you what? You don't even think before you start barking, that is what makes you laughable. What makes the TS thinks he will definitely die alone when old. He may or may not experience both is what i am saying. Do you understand what I am saying now? Respond again if you still don't grasp what I am saying and I will try my very best to explain even more simply, if that is possible at all. I do understand the world is unfair and there is always someone like you around the corner. My condolences. 

 

[Guest Chewing Gum]

5 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Heavy weight lifting keeps the bones engaged and healthy, the same as... falling!  Yes, safely falling also exercises the bones.  

 

One more help to the old body comes from stretching.  Flexibility, together with strong legs from leg exercises, will extend the time during which we are functional.  One guarantee of longevity is to have strong quadriceps, and to be able to stand up from lying on the floor without using our hands.

 

 

Wow!!!,  Where on earth do you get enough supply of collagen to become so easily stretchy and not creaking?

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, Guest Chewing Gum said:

Wow!!!,  Where on earth do you get enough supply of collagen to become so easily stretchy and not creaking?

 

From a good diet.  Collagen is a form of protein.  (this reminds me that I'm forgetting to eat gelatin, haha) 

A best form of protein is whey protein isolate powder.   20 - 25 g of this a day is ideal

Collagen protein powder is also becoming popular.  And gelatin (the one without sugar) is mostly collagen.

 

I wish there is "easily stretching".  Stretching is uncomfortable (but should not go so far as being painful)

The best is to slowly build it up by doing it daily or every two days. It can become a habit.

[Guest guest]

Besides falling down at home. Some elderly might suddenly fainted and it is also dangerous. Sometimes fall down due to fainted spell. I still think living alone when old is not advisable. Have someone at home is better.

[Steve5380]

31 minutes ago, Guest guest said:

Besides falling down at home. Some elderly might suddenly fainted and it is also dangerous. Sometimes fall down due to fainted spell. I still think living alone when old is not advisable. Have someone at home is better.

 

I assume that we are talking about healthy old folk.  To faint is something that happens when blood pressure falls too low.  It can happen to young persons too.   Should they not live alone?

[Guest guest]

Just now, Steve5380 said:

 

I assume that we are talking about healthy old folk.  To faint is something that happens when blood pressure falls too low.  It can happen to young persons too.   Should they not live alone?

Not wrong to say fainting can happen to anyone age. But old folk might have a higher a risk to faint. It is same like when a person has a normal cholesterol reading, the person has low risk of getting stroke or heart attack, but doesn't mean zero risk. It might still happen.

[Guest Delightfull]

39 minutes ago, Guest guest said:

Sometimes fall down due to fainted spell. I still think living alone when old is not advisable. Have someone at home is better.

Not enough blood, not enough sugar, low blood and high blood can all contribute to fainting spell.  However, most people fainted inside the toilet. Don't know why.

 

You don't have to worry about old folks home. Many people here have been saving up to stay in the nursery home. It is their life - work, save and then live in old folks home.   My lifestyle is almost like Steve,  doing whatever I could to enjoy life and trying to catch some "Asia delights".

[Guest guest]

21 minutes ago, Guest Delightfull said:

Not enough blood, not enough sugar, low blood and high blood can all contribute to fainting spell.  However, most people fainted inside the toilet. Don't know why.

 

You don't have to worry about old folks home. Many people here have been saving up to stay in the nursery home. It is their life - work, save and then live in old folks home.   My lifestyle is almost like Steve,  doing whatever I could to enjoy life and trying to catch some "Asia delights".

Fainting can be due to many reasons, not always must be due to not enough blood, low sugar, low blood and high blood. Same like if a person always have giddiness, there are 101 reasons which might causes it.

 

I still think having someone to stay together is better than staying alone. You never know when your health will suddenly failed on you.

[Steve5380]

29 minutes ago, Guest Delightfull said:

 

You don't have to worry about old folks home. Many people here have been saving up to stay in the nursery home. It is their life - work, save and then live in old folks home.   My lifestyle is almost like Steve,  doing whatever I could to enjoy life and trying to catch some "Asia delights".

 

I apologize for my one-sided, biased opinions.  Old folks homes, retirement communities can also be a good choice.

 

It could be a matter of character.  People who don't care about being independent, dislike to be solitary but are sociable and enjoy plenty of company may be happier in a retirement community.   It is definitely more expensive than living at home.  But money is not always the deciding factor.  Even wealthy people may prefer to end their lives at home.  And if the money is not sufficient, a less expensive old folks home may be depressing.

[Guest guest]

Staying in a old folks home can be sometimes quite depressing. You'll be surrounded everyday by other old folk of different morbidity, with some healthier while others are sick and weak.

I remember visiting an old folks home, seeing few are bed ridden, some with drips and needed to be fed.

While healthy ones can move around, they are restricted to certain areas  and going out of the homes on their own is not allowed.

I spoke to some and most say they feel imprisoned and "left behind" , frustration for unable to have choice of food,  TV programs etc.

However for the better educated ones, they may have their HP or tablet to surf the net to pass time, otherwise it is just lying down waiting for most.

While the old folks home environment can be quite depressing but if you are old and weak, without any dependents and needed to be take care of, it may be the only choice.

 

[Guest Olddo]

4 hours ago, Guest guest said:

Staying in a old folks home can be sometimes quite depressing. You'll be surrounded everyday by other old folk of different morbidity, with some healthier while others are sick and weak.

I remember visiting an old folks home, seeing few are bed ridden, some with drips and needed to be fed.

While healthy ones can move around, they are restricted to certain areas  and going out of the homes on their own is not allowed.

I spoke to some and most say they feel imprisoned and "left behind" , frustration for unable to have choice of food,  TV programs etc.

However for the better educated ones, they may have their HP or tablet to surf the net to pass time, otherwise it is just lying down waiting for most.

While the old folks home environment can be quite depressing but if you are old and weak, without any dependents and needed to be take care of, it may be the only choice.

 

I remember there's this type of old folks home where everybody gets a private room like a hotel. They can come and go freely. There's a central medical centre that provides daily medical visits for those who need it. There's also central help services for those who need it.

 

Those old folks home you mentioned are the low cost, shared wards, shared facilities type. Very depressing indeed.

 

I'm staying in a new type of old folks studio flat. It's in a Central area.

There's medical clinics, coffee shop directly downstairs. There's a shopping mall next door and the mrt is there.

 

So food, medicals, travel, leisure shopping are all there. There's even shared car rental right downstairs.

I paid almost double the usual price for it. Initially I didn't want to stay in this type of small flat with that old folks stigma. But I surveyed and hanged around the area for a few days, imagining I'm old and weak already.

Even for a central area, it's relatively quiet because there's no central bus terminal but there's plenty of buses plying through, no need to waste time to get to a central bus terminal then change bus again. The city is just a few stops away. There's no heavy traffic. I walked around and was quite surprised there's a few clinics just downstairs. There's covered linkway to the mall. The mrt is in the mall and less than 5 minutes walk away.

 

If anybody is interested, I'll reveal the location later. Presently, I'm in my mid 60s, healthy, fit and robust. I'm planning to get a partner so that we can take care of each other when I'm older. But I'm not feeling that urgency right now.

 

[Guest Senior]

Hi Guest Olddo,

 

Yes, please provide more details of your new type of old folks studio e.g. location, price, restrictions, facilities.

 

I am not old enough yet but it is useful to know more, and keep my options open.

 

Thank you.

[Guest Old]

Be a keyboard warrior every day so that you work your mind arguing senseless stuff with people on the Internet. That way your mind won't degenerate and you won't need to be at a nursing home for dementia.

[Guest Prison]

Stay in 2-room BTO short lease apartment is better than Old folks home.  Old Folks home is almost like saying you are about "to go", so temporary put you there on a queue to your destination.  Don't ever do that to your parents unless they allowed.  My grandad resisted, but his children cannot stand his bad temper and put him in old folks home.  Within less than a year, a healthy him,  suddently passed off and nobody knew why.  It could be the depressing environment, the restriction of movement, regiemental treatment, the groan from other elderly folks, the  medicated air and the untasty food which contributed to the shortening of their life. I think

[steppenwolf]

I chanced upon this website, a "Lifestyle Village" with a few locations in Singapore,

I personally don't mind staying at the Adam Road one when my time comes...

 

https://saintb.com.sg/saint-b-adam-rd/

 

 

[Guest Admiralty]

On 6/23/2020 at 11:18 PM, Guest Olddo said:

I remember there's this type of old folks home where everybody gets a private room like a hotel. They can come and go freely. There's a central medical centre that provides daily medical visits for those who need it. There's also central help services for those who need it.

 

Those old folks home you mentioned are the low cost, shared wards, shared facilities type. Very depressing indeed.

 

I'm staying in a new type of old folks studio flat. It's in a Central area.

There's medical clinics, coffee shop directly downstairs. There's a shopping mall next door and the mrt is there.

 

So food, medicals, travel, leisure shopping are all there. There's even shared car rental right downstairs.

I paid almost double the usual price for it. Initially I didn't want to stay in this type of small flat with that old folks stigma. But I surveyed and hanged around the area for a few days, imagining I'm old and weak already.

Even for a central area, it's relatively quiet because there's no central bus terminal but there's plenty of buses plying through, no need to waste time to get to a central bus terminal then change bus again. The city is just a few stops away. There's no heavy traffic. I walked around and was quite surprised there's a few clinics just downstairs. There's covered linkway to the mall. The mrt is in the mall and less than 5 minutes walk away.

 

If anybody is interested, I'll reveal the location later. Presently, I'm in my mid 60s, healthy, fit and robust. I'm planning to get a partner so that we can take care of each other when I'm older. But I'm not feeling that urgency right now.

 

Is it the kampung admiralty?

[Guest bien]

my past experiences with old folks home left me a very bad impression. I witnessed loneliness, fights and quarrel, crying, bodily abuse, restraints, gay molestation, smell, stained wear, nonchalant caregivers, etcetera.

Looking back on the days when I was a young boy the situation was more encouraging.  The machehs (women helpers in white and black sumfu), the red~head ~hankies, the trishaw riders,  banded up though they were old and alone.

So my friends, I m suggesting you all (if needed) to copy their style. I remember seeing the trishaw riders abode so peaceful and quiet, clean and minimalistic. The women helped each other in chores and even financially.

With modern day living, I trust it could be easier to adapt and be more comfortable.

 

[Guest young at heart]

Guest olddo,

Is it Tiong Bahru View ?

 

[mike_amk]

3 hours ago, Guest bien said:

my past experiences with old folks home left me a very bad impression. I witnessed loneliness, fights and quarrel, crying, bodily abuse, restraints, gay molestation, smell, stained wear, nonchalant caregivers, etcetera.

Looking back on the days when I was a young boy the situation was more encouraging.  The machehs (women helpers in white and black sumfu), the red~head ~hankies, the trishaw riders,  banded up though they were old and alone.

So my friends, I m suggesting you all (if needed) to copy their style. I remember seeing the trishaw riders abode so peaceful and quiet, clean and minimalistic. The women helped each other in chores and even financially.

With modern day living, I trust it could be easier to adapt and be more comfortable.

 

I do in fact agree with your observations with the old folks homes here in Sg, they have paid little attention to this sector, even though it is a fast growing one.

The old age homes here are mostly based on the nursing care models, such that you are treated as a patient or inmate... and not as a retired professional.

You are made to wear hospital garb all day... and not change into your day clothes upon waking up. In such an instance, you gradually see yourself as sickly and no longer a person... and degrade in your remaining days.

I have seen in the other first world countries where I've lived, lots of retirement communities where single persons or couples could live in their older age in a dignified manner as you've been accustomed to. And there are nursing services available on call and communal dining/recreational areas, so it still feels like an extended family sort of.

This is something that Sg totally lacks...  dignity in older age.  The "Old Folks Homes" here are so out of touch in this respect I feel.

Perhaps there could be a sort of direction to get older guys to share living spaces, say if I have a 3 bedroom apartment, I could get into a cohabitation agreement with two other guys for the other bedrooms, and it would be workable in my opinion. ... future dreams .

Funny thing is that none of the politicians speak about the ageing single professionals... and their needs... they have only chucked a 2-room flat from the hdb at this group... as they think that is all you are worth. 

I'm exploring some ideas on how to create a hip and happening communal living enterprise for retired singles.

Cheers, Mike   

 

[Guest Tan Koo Koo]

45 minutes ago, mike_amk said:

This is something that Sg totally lacks...  dignity in older age.  The "Old Folks Homes" here are so out of touch in this respect I feel.

 

Cheers, Mike   

 

The current govt didn't recognise such initiative as having any economic value, thus they weren't in the rush to do anything about it.  It is always reactive and not pro-active.  You look at how they handled the pandemic, the handicapped, Singapore productivity  and the single-parent issues,  It is far from being deseriable and you can say they still do not have the "benefit of hindsight" to cater for grey population in future.  The govt is only concern putting $1 into population in the hope of reaping $100 out of it for themsevles.  Looking for cheap and afforeable old folks home? You wait long long!

[Steve5380]

13 hours ago, Guest Prison said:

Stay in 2-room BTO short lease apartment is better than Old folks home.  Old Folks home is almost like saying you are about "to go", so temporary put you there on a queue to your destination.  Don't ever do that to your parents unless they allowed.  My grandad resisted, but his children cannot stand his bad temper and put him in old folks home.  Within less than a year, a healthy him,  suddently passed off and nobody knew why.  It could be the depressing environment, the restriction of movement, regiemental treatment, the groan from other elderly folks, the  medicated air and the untasty food which contributed to the shortening of their life. I think

 

Quite a way to pay off their father who cared for them as babies, children, gave them education, protected them...

How much damage can an old man with a bad temper do?    In old age, the roles of children and parents reverse.

Parents learn to deal with children who have bad tempers.  They don't push them away into some orphanages. 

 

The Asian respect for the elderly should not go as far as tolerating an inconsiderate domineering bad tempered old man!

[Guest Needy Princess]

4 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

The Asian respect for the elderly should not go as far as tolerating an inconsiderate domineering bad tempered old man!

True in the old days where people are still living in the village and looking after one another without too much concern about materialistic stuff.  The modern Singapore is no longer the same and people were forced to work extremely hard just to get by each day. Stress build up and then you have an unreasonable, bad-tempered and domineering "cave man" to deal with, can really adds up to your depression and resulted in health issues.  So, the children shared the cost and put him in "proper care" system. 

[hitex]

living alone is a poor option when you age and you get very lonely and lost at times.

best is to have a friend to stay together at least for companionship, but remember tolerance and patience is an important factor.

also, must exercise regularly as a routine. no excuse being tired or being lazy.

cheers to all

[Steve5380]

6 minutes ago, Guest Needy Princess said:

True in the old days where people are still living in the village and looking after one another without too much concern about materialistic stuff.  The modern Singapore is no longer the same and people were forced to work extremely hard just to get by each day. Stress build up and then you have an unreasonable, bad-tempered and domineering "cave man" to deal with, can really adds up to your depression and resulted in health issues.  So, the children shared the cost and put him in "proper care" system. 

 

I don't know...

 

The only way a bad-tempered domineering old cave man can get away with this is if ... if he owns the house where others live.  If it is YOUR house,  you have the right to impose your rules.  If he does not behave,  cut down his privileges.  Explain him clearly how his behavior hurts other people in the house,  and if he does not want to control himself, he will soon be alone.

[Guest Needy Princess]

16 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

The only way a bad-tempered domineering old cave man can get away with this is if ... if he owns the house where others live.  If it is YOUR house,  you have the right to impose your rules.  If he does not behave,  cut down his privileges.  Explain him clearly how his behavior hurts other people in the house,  and if he does not want to control himself, he will soon be alone.

They did all that, but dealing with old sensitive folks can be a challenge.  He wanted everyone pity, by telling the world that he was badly treated by his own family, just to make you feel embarassed and shameful of yourself in the eyes of many.  You cut down his priviledges, he said you are ingrate. You tried talking to him, he simply cannot register, the trauma and turmoils of his own action.  He felt his children has the duties to be obedient to him and let him take whatever he wanted.  His argument, there is not much time and he jolly well get everything he demanded.  Than, his forgetfullness issues cropped up, creating further security issues at home .Occassionally, he would dissappear longer than expected, causing people to worry his whereabouts.  So, out he go, into the hands of professionals,  though he struggled to move into his new environment. Nobody knows, it was the last time they ever saw him again.....

[amuse.ed]

12 hours ago, mike_amk said:

I do in fact agree with your observations with the old folks homes here in Sg, they have paid little attention to this sector, even though it is a fast growing one.

The old age homes here are mostly based on the nursing care models, such that you are treated as a patient or inmate... and not as a retired professional.

You are made to wear hospital garb all day... and not change into your day clothes upon waking up. In such an instance, you gradually see yourself as sickly and no longer a person... and degrade in your remaining days.

I have seen in the other first world countries where I've lived, lots of retirement communities where single persons or couples could live in their older age in a dignified manner as you've been accustomed to. And there are nursing services available on call and communal dining/recreational areas, so it still feels like an extended family sort of.

This is something that Sg totally lacks...  dignity in older age.  The "Old Folks Homes" here are so out of touch in this respect I feel.

Perhaps there could be a sort of direction to get older guys to share living spaces, say if I have a 3 bedroom apartment, I could get into a cohabitation agreement with two other guys for the other bedrooms, and it would be workable in my opinion. ... future dreams .

Funny thing is that none of the politicians speak about the ageing single professionals... and their needs... they have only chucked a 2-room flat from the hdb at this group... as they think that is all you are worth. 

I'm exploring some ideas on how to create a hip and happening communal living enterprise for retired singles.

Cheers, Mike   

 

That's an awesome idea but at the end of the day it has to translated into actionables where individuals are totally comfortable with in staying under one roof. Govt lacks foresight of it and often the schemes and policies dished out are remedial of nature and least preventive. So meaning we still have a long way to go in Spore.  

Edited June 29, 2020 by amuse.ed

[Steve5380]

36 minutes ago, Guest Needy Princess said:

They did all that, but dealing with old sensitive folks can be a challenge.  He wanted everyone pity, by telling the world that he was badly treated by his own family, just to make you feel embarassed and shameful of yourself in the eyes of many.  You cut down his priviledges, he said you are ingrate. You tried talking to him, he simply cannot register, the trauma and turmoils of his own action.  He felt his children has the duties to be obedient to him and let him take whatever he wanted.  His argument, there is not much time and he jolly well get everything he demanded.  Than, his forgetfullness issues cropped up, creating further security issues at home .Occassionally, he would dissappear longer than expected, causing people to worry his whereabouts.  So, out he go, into the hands of professionals,  though he struggled to move into his new environment. Nobody knows, it was the last time they ever saw him again.....

 

That was sad!  I realize that some cases are hopeless, and one should protect one's heart from further damage.

 

But... how come that they never saw him again?  No one went to visit him?

Was that old-folks house they put him in also agreeable to take him out?  If so,

one could have offered the old man the choice of taking him back home...  if he had learned his lesson and would behave.

But maybe he was gone too far already to understand this?

.

 

 

 

Edited June 29, 2020 by Steve5380

[Guest Needy Princess]

36 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

That was sad!  I realize that some cases are hopeless, and one should protect one's heart from further damage.

 

But... how come that they never saw him again?  No one went to visit him?

 

Oh..the children did pay him a visit occassionally, but.soon after, the nursing home called to inform the family that he fainted and went to heaven immediately.  

[Guest self reliant]

If the old people can clean their house, cook the meals, order food and groceries online, take shower and wash themselves, do laundry and change their diapers daily, then they don't need to go into an old folks home.

If you are the son or grandson, can help them at their home and give them some social interaction.

But if they start eating the curtains or do other funny things, then I would start getting suspicious.

 

[Guest Lao uncle]

And then there's that white elephant in the room that most are too embarrassed you mention.

 

Old men need sex too. They need privacy for that. Those families and old folks home assumed that old men are sterile and that embarrassed them and caused psychological and physical stress to old men. Like those at Shogun justifies, I want bao bao also.

Ahemm, that's why the Red Light districts have so many old men.

 

Likewise, Shogun too. Some old men have families and yet they are regulars. But they'll have to leave at 5pm for dinner at home else

"Occassionally, he would dissappear longer than expected, causing people to worry his whereabouts. ..."

 

 

[Guest Almost old]

7 hours ago, amuse.ed said:

That's an awesome idea but at the end of the day it has to translated into actionables where individuals are totally comfortable with in staying under one roof. Govt lacks foresight of it and often the schemes and policies dished out are remedial of nature and least preventive. So meaning we still have a long way to go in Spore.  

Actually the concept of a retirement home is not new and very much actionable here. Old people who can afford it will pay top dollars to use the Facilities. Even Malaysia has something akin to a retirement home. In Penang for eg... You pay around M4000 to M8000 a month and you get a single room with attached bath or 2 to a room with attached bath. All meals provided and there are helpers to shower you or wipe your backside. They have regular activities during the day and they encourage you to participate to exercise. Rest of the time, you can watch TV or read or do whatever you like. You can receive visitors throughout the day and night and they can also take you out for walks or meals. They will also arrange for your regular check ups etc. If you are old and alone, this type of living arrangement is most suitable provided you have the money. 

I feel that Singapore can easily set something similar up and charge S4000 to S10, 000 a month and business will be good. 

Anyone with entrepreneurial spirit my want to give this a try. You can even Make this a gay friendly place and let our BW members who like older guys a chance to volunteer at the retirement home! 

[mike_amk]

8 hours ago, amuse.ed said:

That's an awesome idea but at the end of the day it has to translated into actionables where individuals are totally comfortable with in staying under one roof. Govt lacks foresight of it and often the schemes and policies dished out are remedial of nature and least preventive. So meaning we still have a long way to go in Spore.  

Thanks for the comment bro...

and yes all of us by now know how the gov works... with that remedial culture within their sphere.

That's why, I'm exploring this purely as a private sector initiative .

There is indeed a long way to getting around the "Conditioned mindset" of people, however, I am exploring more with those that see my viewpoint initially, before

going bigger. The testbed data was derived from many existing retirement communities.

I feel that out aging PLU community could benefit from such shared communal living facilities. 👍

Cheers, Mike   

[lean n mean]

.

Edited August 4, 2020 by lean n mean

[Steve5380]

3 hours ago, Guest Almost old said:

Actually the concept of a retirement home is not new and very much actionable here. Old people who can afford it will pay top dollars to use the Facilities. Even Malaysia has something akin to a retirement home. In Penang for eg... You pay around M4000 to M8000 a month and you get a single room with attached bath or 2 to a room with attached bath. All meals provided and there are helpers to shower you or wipe your backside. They have regular activities during the day and they encourage you to participate to exercise. Rest of the time, you can watch TV or read or do whatever you like. You can receive visitors throughout the day and night and they can also take you out for walks or meals. They will also arrange for your regular check ups etc. If you are old and alone, this type of living arrangement is most suitable provided you have the money. 

I feel that Singapore can easily set something similar up and charge S4000 to S10, 000 a month and business will be good. 

Anyone with entrepreneurial spirit my want to give this a try. You can even Make this a gay friendly place and let our BW members who like older guys a chance to volunteer at the retirement home! 

 

M4000 to M8000 in Malaysia,  and S4000 to S10,000 in Singapore?   THREE TIMES more expensive?

 

Why live in Singapore if one can have so much more money in Malaysia?   And it is so near to go from one to the other.

[amuse.ed]

4 hours ago, mike_amk said:

Thanks for the comment bro...

and yes all of us by now know how the gov works... with that remedial culture within their sphere.

That's why, I'm exploring this purely as a private sector initiative .

There is indeed a long way to getting around the "Conditioned mindset" of people, however, I am exploring more with those that see my viewpoint initially, before

going bigger. The testbed data was derived from many existing retirement communities.

I feel that out aging PLU community could benefit from such shared communal living facilities. 👍

Cheers, Mike   

seed funding is necessarily unless you are your own investor. I wonder if the current PG and MG  or even the govt would wish to be explicit about being to stay or establish a "retirement home for aging PLU" though. Have to thread carefully on this one. 

[amuse.ed]

5 hours ago, Guest Almost old said:

Actually the concept of a retirement home is not new and very much actionable here. Old people who can afford it will pay top dollars to use the Facilities. Even Malaysia has something akin to a retirement home. In Penang for eg... You pay around M4000 to M8000 a month and you get a single room with attached bath or 2 to a room with attached bath. All meals provided and there are helpers to shower you or wipe your backside. They have regular activities during the day and they encourage you to participate to exercise. Rest of the time, you can watch TV or read or do whatever you like. You can receive visitors throughout the day and night and they can also take you out for walks or meals. They will also arrange for your regular check ups etc. If you are old and alone, this type of living arrangement is most suitable provided you have the money. 

I feel that Singapore can easily set something similar up and charge S4000 to S10, 000 a month and business will be good. 

Anyone with entrepreneurial spirit my want to give this a try. You can even Make this a gay friendly place and let our BW members who like older guys a chance to volunteer at the retirement home! 

Some classic examples were how the Japanese and Chinese did it for straight elderly couples. It was broadcasted via CNA months ago and the elderly were housed with casinos and jackpot. Spore has similar gaming facilities but its more to Day Care home settings.