Today I learnt...

[Guest botanic]

Today I learnt that people on gay social platforms claiming to look for friends are really looking for fuck friends, not so much genuine friendship. 

Today I learnt also that when a gay guy says he will text you again or wanna meet you again after the first meeting, he really means he is not interested in you and doesn't want to meet again.

[Guest botanic]

feel free to share what you have learnt today in this thread 🙂

[Guest Are]

Are you new here? It kinda seems like you're..

 

You should know this "community" can be pretty toxic. It's pretty sexualised, and to me a pretty unhealthy way of 'experiencing' one's sexuality. I know this sounds bad, but.. there is truth in it..

 

If you are able to, stay away from those platforms or apps or whatever. They're all the same shit, in different packaging...   unless, you really are sure hookup culture is for you. You can still lurk in forums like this, because sometimes there are still decent people and discussions, but be careful always and have the awareness that what you most-easily see isn't necessarily an accurate representation of gay people, and what it means to be someone who happens to be gay. 

 

This is what I've learnt. Thankfully, I didn't have to learn it the hard way. 

[Kimochi]

Happens to straight as well. Its human. 

[lean n mean]

It's good to learn new things everyday

 

[Guest guest]

A lot of the gay men who couldn't care less are those who already have friends that are straight. There's no need for them to find specifically gay friends.

 

If you can't find a common interest strong enough that you will get together soon to do it, it's a hi and bye session.

[Lookseearound]

shared the same exp. was looking for someone who can chat and chemistry.. failed.

[cutejack]

19 hours ago, Guest botanic said:

Today I learnt that people on gay social platforms claiming to look for friends are really looking for fuck friends, not so much genuine friendship. 

Today I learnt also that when a gay guy says he will text you again or wanna meet you again after the first meeting, he really means he is not interested in you and doesn't want to meet again.

How about yrself ? Not gonna make this mistake or join the club ? Heard this from many gays who they themselves.....im lost of words.

[fab]

21 hours ago, Guest botanic said:

Today I learnt that people on gay social platforms claiming to look for friends are really looking for fuck friends, not so much genuine friendship. 

Today I learnt also that when a gay guy says he will text you again or wanna meet you again after the first meeting, he really means he is not interested in you and doesn't want to meet again.

 

These are not exclusive to the gay community. 

[auscent]

Let it test your patience, not ur faith in humanity. U can join in the fun but retain ur core values.

[Guest botanic]

4 hours ago, cutejack said:

How about yrself ? Not gonna make this mistake or join the club ? Heard this from many gays who they themselves.....im lost of words.

 

actually i am not looking for sex. so looks doesn't matter. just need to be genuine friendship and be able to carry on conversations

[Guest botanic]

Today I learnt that...

 

When someone is angry, it is usually more about the person himself rather than the party he claims to have provoked him.

 

What do you guys think?

[Guest Picky & passive]

Why don't those who say they're looking for non-sex friends dm each other. Problem solved.

 

My experience is that those who claim to be looking for non-sex friends are actually they themselves looking for sex though they deny it themselves. Like the TS, only when it didn't work out, then he complain here. Otherwise he'll merrily having all the sex he seeked already.

 

I find that many gays are internally delusional and in self denial. They really want to believe what they say but subconsciously, they want sex more than friendship.

 

They'll chat initially but after a few times when they don't get sex, they slowly turn cold. When I initial conversations, they'll return with one word replies.

But when I mentioned about sex topics, suddenly they'll be very kaypoh, enthusiastically "tell me more, tell me more" replies.

 

I confess that I'm just as sexual as most gays. I want to have sex too. But most experiences are not positive so far. The typical chasing of the gay merry go round like this

 

1. I like him, he don't like me but he wanted sex anyway., one time only.

 

2. Someone else like me, I don't like him but we had sex, one time only.

 

3. Someone like me, I like him. We have sex a few times then he turned cold.

 

4. Someone like me, I like him but not enough for LTR. We have sex a few times, we meet for coffee, then he turned very possessive. 

It's nice to be wanted but after awhile, it's very tiring when he kept asking what I'm doing like he's checking on me.

 

Throughout those above 1234 encounters , I'm always the top.

 

5. Someone like me, I like him, we like each other enough to try for LTR. We have sex a few times, I wanted the LTR to work so I offered myself to him, condom or no condom he decides. 

But he seemed only to want me for sex. Yes, I confess that I became possessive myself and disapprove of him on gay apps, going to gay saunas like we are already committed. He didn't like me to be possessive, he didn't bother to quarrel with me. All he wanted was to pound my ass and show me who's the boss here. 

We became FWB because we could not let go of the sex. But it pains me to know that after I've given my all to him, he's still having sex with others. So our relationship became seesaw, sometimes good, sometime cold war. Each time I'm the one who gave in.

 

Then during the cold war, I went back to 1,2,3,4. 

I needed someone to talk to and vent my frustrations.

 

Then I met another 5. He listened, he consoled me. I told him all that I'll never tell those 1234. He don't judge. We became like Bros. 

The next cold war, I ran to him for drinks. Only to wake up in a hotel room with him naked. It was totally awkward. We avoided each other after that and I don't know why. Then I found out that he's actually married. I didn't ask before and he didn't need to tell. Too late.

 

Then I had that crazy idea that since he's not available, we can have sex without commitment if he want. Yes he wanted of course, and thanked me for being so understanding. He booked a hotel immediately and I offered myself to him, again and again. Then I started to feel weird as I tried to sort out all these mess. 

I still couldn't. It's all tied together by sex.

 

I went back to 1234, then met another 5. This time I told him about the two 5s and he consoled me. We met for coffee a few times when I have cold war and cold feet with the other two 5s. This time I didn't want to get into another mess with another 5. I told him straight that if he's interested in me, let's not beat around the bush, he can take me now and don't waste so much time and effort on my troubles. 

Sure enough, he booked the nearest hotel and took me again and again. Only then I realised that now there's so many 5s that I'm regularly being the bottom. 

I didn't even realised that I've not being 1234 for so long while busy merry go round with three 5s.

 

The mess got worse than I thought. This is the present status and I'm afraid before I sort out the three 5s, I'm vulnerable to meet with after 5.

I need to get off these merry go round. But I can't until I find a 5 who can commit. People say you have to try otherwise you can't find. But each time I tried, there's only more mess.

 

I tried stopping sex with the three 5s that why I'm always bouncing between them to get consoling from the cold wars and cold feet. But each consoling ended up with is in bed.

 

The 3rd 5 told me honestly that I'm like an emotionally needy kid that want to be sayang sayang and sex was my trade for getting the attention I seek. In perspective, the 5s started when I'm in my late 30s and I'm now in my late 50s. So I'm not promiscuous, I think 15 years meet three 5s is once every 5 years only.

Then there are the 4s that are still after me. Am I their 5s?

Everybody is after relationship yet we can't seem to connect somehow and in a mess.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[fab]

I wish you will meet your 

 

6. Both of you mutually like each other and are ready to be in a monogamy. 

 

Good suck, I mean luck.

[Guest Picky & passive]

38 minutes ago, fab said:

I wish you will meet your 

 

6. Both of you mutually like each other and are ready to be in a monogamy. 

 

Good suck, I mean luck.

Thanks, I really needed that.

It would be a 5+ rather.

They all like me for sure.

 

1st has grown from a hunk to a botak bear with a small tummy. I thought I could quit him when he turned bald, I wanted that excuse to wean myself off him. But each time he turned more and more masculine instead and reeks of sex and reminded me again and again who's the boss. 

 

Is that even an excuse when he would not give up the forest for a tree? He won't say it, I dare not ask him directly. I can only complain to him that he don't carry SD to me. Yes from day 1, when I foolishly thought that I could hook him by letting him do me raw. Now it's his privilege. If I don't give, it's another cold war.

 

It's when I seek consolation from 3rd 5, then he honestly told me what I fear, 1st would never give up the forest for me. And he himself would also not give up the forest for me either. 3rd is always that candid with me, sexually he's the last, but emotionally I'm quite attached to him to think for me.

 

Sexually 1st was most brutal but nice, wham bang thank you ma'am. No how's your day? No tickle tickle. Only oooh baby I know you like and like, you want more, more, more...

 

3rd would massage here, massage there, ask me about my day and how's 1st and 2nd getting along. Slowly remove my clothes then slowly and lovingly penetrated me. But unfortunately, slow and steady don't win the race.

Sometimes when 1st treated me bad, I run to him for consolation. At my age I couldn't keep up with 1st anymore and sometimes he hurt me with all that twisting and turning me around. Oh brother, does he pump and pump till I'm raw. 

 

I could sense that 3rd was jealous about 1st when he saw me in this state. He massaged my twisted wrist and applied soothing balm on my soreness. He knew that I wouldn't be able to give to him in this state and he was visibly upset. Still he was never lose his gentleman composure and I needed that. No matter what he did, he's always 2nd fiddle to 1st. When I end cold war with 1st, he gets only scraps.

 

2nd was the messiest with his family troubles, the typical wife don't understand me and the business pressures. But he tried to put those aside and nicely ask me about 1st and my problems. We truly are Bros now. Recently because of Covid 19, he cried into my arms as he feared he may lose his business. I was still trying to console him while he laid me over the bedside and penetrated me. Then he thanked me as usual for letting him relieve his pressures into me. He needed that very badly. I said no problem bro, you helped me before. Anytime you need it, just call me, okay. He called and then he called. I obliged but sometimes when 1st had his way with me, I told him I can still oblige if he don't mind my state. He never mind and added to the soreness. 

 

After that I'm so sore, I seek consolation from 3rd and he thought 1st was too much treating me like this. I never dare to tell him it included 2nd. I told him 2nd was married, out of reach and we're like Bros. It used to be that 2nd seldom have sex with me since he knew I'm not comfortable about him being married. But in recent years as his problems mounted, he turned into another beast. He even wanted to leave his wife and I panicked. No, no, no stay calm, I said. Anytime you need it, just call me okay. Don't be rash.

 

I needed 3rd to think for me how to handle the situation. He laughed and called me naive. No married man will ever leave his family for another man. It's only his pressures that's showing, he needed someone for a listening ear and he'll be fine. Contrary to what the thought that 2nd would be too stressed and had no mood for sex with his wife or me that's why the wife is giving him a hard time.

2nd was relieving his pressures and frustrations into me, sometimes he could just snap and be a wild beast that I've never seen him before. I'm confused. But this I dare not tell 3rd. Since like 3rd said, once he poured out his troubles to a listening ear, he'll calm down. I needed 3rd to steady my nerves in this mess.

 

[caindukker]

6 hours ago, Guest Picky & passive said:

Why don't those who say they're looking for non-sex friends dm each other. Problem solved.

 

My experience is that those who claim to be looking for non-sex friends are actually they themselves looking for sex though they deny it themselves. Like the TS, only when it didn't work out, then he complain here. Otherwise he'll merrily having all the sex he seeked already.

 

I find that many gays are internally delusional and in self denial. They really want to believe what they say but subconsciously, they want sex more than friendship.

 

 

 

That's kind of the same for me. But it's just my luck. I'm genuinely looking for a friend. Even better yet, a bro to hangout with who got my back all the time and check out guys with me. But most are just there for sex, or they just don't gel with me, different interest etc. It's nice when I see my bf hangout with his gay buds that he had known since highschool. I get jealous sometimes cause I want that too. Oh well. Maybe someday. 

 

For now I have my straight bros and sisters to back me up. So it's okay. 😂

[FattChoy]

14 hours ago, Guest botanic said:

Today I learnt that...

 

When someone is angry, it is usually more about the person himself rather than the party he claims to have provoked him.

 

What do you guys think?

 

When someone is angry and lashes out, it is cos they are afraid of losing control of the situation.  

[Guest Mary]

On 6/21/2020 at 9:35 PM, Guest botanic said:

Today I learnt that people on gay social platforms claiming to look for friends are really looking for fuck friends, not so much genuine friendship. 

Today I learnt also that when a gay guy says he will text you again or wanna meet you again after the first meeting, he really means he is not interested in you and doesn't want to meet again.

I think you are bored , that is why you created this topic.  It is the same effect as saying 

 

Today I learnt that fishball noodles got fishball

Today I learnt that I told him I want chilli and my noodle taste quite spicy 

 

That type of message for anyone who after reading no doubt - wu liao 

[Guest lol]

8 hours ago, Guest Mary said:

I think you are bored , that is why you created this topic.  It is the same effect as saying 

 

Today I learnt that fishball noodles got fishball

Today I learnt that I told him I want chilli and my noodle taste quite spicy 

also

That type of message for anyone who after reading no doubt - wu liao 

 

you also damn wu liao and worst, bitchy.. going around different threads to spread your toxicity.

[Kimochi]

Coffee can be so fucking bitter if really no sugar added. 😝

[Neonduck]

...that time doesn't always heal.

[Guest Motherhooded]

Today I realised the SUN is actually brighter than the MOON. 

 

Nobody ever told me  that before, until I kept hearing such motherhood on TV.  Thus I became enlightened I have someone to thank for!

[practease]

9 hours ago, Guest Motherhooded said:

Today I realised the SUN is actually brighter than the MOON. 

 

Nobody ever told me  that before, until I kept hearing such motherhood on TV.  Thus I became enlightened I have someone to thank for!

Of course the Sun is brighter than the Moon. But this statement alone suggests that you've not received the full fact. The Moon is not a light source, it doesn't illuminate itself. When you do see it, is due to it reflecting the light of the Sun from it's surface. Hence, that is why the Sun is brighter than the Moon.

[practease]

10 hours ago, Kimochi said:

Coffee can be so fucking bitter if really no sugar added. 😝

But that's the way coffee should be enjoyed.

[practease]

10 hours ago, Neonduck said:

...that time doesn't always heal.

and sometimes the wounds get infested futher.

[practease]

On 6/22/2020 at 12:40 AM, Guest guest said:

A lot of the gay men who couldn't care less are those who already have friends that are straight. There's no need for them to find specifically gay friends.

 

If you can't find a common interest strong enough that you will get together soon to do it, it's a hi and bye session.

I don't care if my friends are gay or straight. What's important is that they are genuine and sincere friends who would be there for you when you need them, and vice versa.

[Guest botanic]

10 hours ago, Neonduck said:

...that time doesn't always heal.

 

hugs. i agree. if there is no intervention, a wound will just rot with time. 

[Guest Solar Eclipse Beautifier]

2 hours ago, practease said:

Of course the Sun is brighter than the Moon. But this statement alone suggests that you've not received the full fact. The Moon is not a light source, it doesn't illuminate itself. When you do see it, is due to it reflecting the light of the Sun from it's surface. Hence, that is why the Sun is brighter than the Moon.

You must be one of those among the 70% in the population who doesn't read sarcasm.

[Guest botanic]

17 hours ago, Kimochi said:

Coffee can be so fucking bitter if really no sugar added. 😝

 

Haha can try cold brew with fruits inside if you black coffee for the kick but dont like the bitterness (:

[upshot]

I am truly and deeply dumb founded with some remarks here heheheheheheh I sincerely hope most are just kidding around. Please.

[Steve5380]

On 6/22/2020 at 8:35 AM, Guest botanic said:

Today I learnt that...

 

When someone is angry, it is usually more about the person himself rather than the party he claims to have provoked him.

 

What do you guys think?

 

It is true.  For someone to be angered by another, it takes two persons.

Your observations about what you "learned today" are correct,  but fortunately these items you listed are not the worst traits of humanity.

 

So keep learning today... and tomorrow... and the day after tomorrow....   

[TT2880]

that we changed so drastically not because of COVID19 but out of our insecurity and fear. 

[mate69]

That blood isn't always thicker than water

[Guest Gay]

I have learnt thatvthe gay scene can be quite brutal. And honestly, im tired.

[Guest Jekyll]

2 hours ago, Guest Gay said:

I have learnt thatvthe gay scene can be quite brutal. And honestly, im tired.

It's like nature, when comes mating season, to find a mate and the fight to mate are even more brutal.

 

If there's more males than females, the males need to be very aggressive.

But gay circle more bottoms than tops, the bottoms need to be shameless. You want to be picked, you have to open your legs and advertise that you're looking for a mate.

Many bottoms got tired of this and say they don't do anal.

[Guest botanic]

6 hours ago, TT2880 said:

that we changed so drastically not because of COVID19 but out of our insecurity and fear. 

 

Indeed! 

Insecurity and fear can bring out the worst in humanity. 

 

[Guest Gay]

29 minutes ago, Guest Jekyll said:

Many bottoms got tired of this and say they don't do anal.

 

It truly is tiring... It really makes me feel a bit unworthy. But as sad as it is, i guess i have to accept it. No choice ma, born this way.

[Guest Worldly]

3 hours ago, Guest Gay said:

I have learnt thatvthe gay scene can be quite brutal. And honestly, im tired.

If you can't handle the gay, you can't handle the world. 

[Guest Good Looking Hairy Bottom]

1 hour ago, Guest Jekyll said:

 

But gay circle more bottoms than tops, the bottoms need to be shameless.

Not true.  If you are good looking Bottom, the gay world is still your oyster.

[TT2880]

That when I live for the sake of pure physical pleasure, I am doomed to lost myself and my happiness to others. 

[Guest Jekyll]

2 hours ago, Guest Good Looking Hairy Bottom said:

Not true.  If you are good looking Bottom, the gay world is still your oyster.

Still a shameless bottom. Doesn't mean he won't enjoy having fun.

[Steve5380]

6 hours ago, Guest Gay said:

I have learnt thatvthe gay scene can be quite brutal. And honestly, im tired.

 

3 hours ago, Guest Gay said:

 

It truly is tiring... It really makes me feel a bit unworthy. But as sad as it is, i guess i have to accept it. No choice ma, born this way.

 

2 hours ago, Guest Worldly said:

If you can't handle the gay, you can't handle the world. 

 

29 minutes ago, Guest Jekyll said:

Still a shameless bottom. Doesn't mean he won't enjoy having fun.

 

Does one notice some DRAMA here?

 

If the gay scene is "brutal",  what is the scene in a war zone?

Are bottoms really born this way?  

We can be confident that we are BORN gay.

But must gay imply anal sex?

[Guest Jekyll]

2 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Does one notice some DRAMA here?

 

If the gay scene is "brutal",  what is the scene in a war zone?

Are bottoms really born this way?  

We can be confident that we are BORN gay.

But must gay imply anal sex?

Must straight sex imply vaginal sex?

 

Vaginal and anal sex are the only ways where 2 adults can mutually stimulate each other, and closely bonded as one.

 

Unfortunately, for a man to be the receptive party, there's lots of social stigma. Still when the need is strong, there's no choice. Sometimes it's strange that someone seeks to get stimulated by penetrating me and through that stimulated me to respond in shameful ways. That thing inside me is "alive" and bonded with me physically, sexually and psychologically. You can never be as close to each other than this.