Is Gaslighting Illegal in Singapore? Vindictive Guest Vs Upshot!

[Guest Gaslighted]

Can we sue or lodge a Magistrate's Complaint against someone for gaslighting? Especially when that person is working in public services like the police, hospital, etc and they had gaslighted you in order to shirk responsibility and not help you because of discriminatory policies and S377A?

 

[doncoin]

No. Gaslighting is not a criminal offense. 

[Guest no details]

1 hour ago, Guest Gaslighted said:

Can we sue or lodge a Magistrate's Complaint against someone for gaslighting? Especially when that person is working in public services like the police, hospital, etc and they had gaslighted you in order to shirk responsibility and not help you because of discriminatory policies and S377A?

 

The write up is too short to reply.

Don't know what is going on.

What happened and what situation is now. All much too general. I reserve any response is more details on the involved events.

The description is much too general.

[Guest Gaslighted]

1 hour ago, doncoin said:

No. Gaslighting is not a criminal offense. 

In both America and Singapore?

[doncoin]

5 minutes ago, Guest Gaslighted said:

In both America and Singapore?

 

Correct. You can be gaslight, and functioning per normal. So no crimes are committed. 

 

 Gaslighting is not a crime, shrinking from responsibility is not a crime either. 

 

 

[Guest Gaslighted]

9 minutes ago, doncoin said:

 

Correct. You can be gaslight, and functioning per normal. So no crimes are committed. 

 

 Gaslighting is not a crime, shrinking from responsibility is not a crime either. 

 

 

What about gaslighting that caused mental distress, allowing and emboldened harassers to harass further?

[upshot]

Just another silly new buzzword from the Silly Progressive West.

 

The word is nothing. But what it describes is an action or intent which is what you could bring legal recourse if it meets all the requirement base on the laws it breaks.

 

Personally, the basic stripped down meaning is "Manipulation".  If I manipulate you to eat something you don't eat normally, can you sue me in court? If I manipulate people to dump a stock to drop the price in order for me to make a profit killing, can I be sue or reported for that?

 

Just a word. It's the CONTEXT that matters.

Edited June 10, 2021 by upshot

[Guest Gaslighted]

If discrimination against gays is legal in Singapore, not recognised or acknowledged by present government, and homosexuality acts are illegal, does it follow that discriminatory gaslighting of gays is perfectly legal and even upheld here?

 

 

[Guest what]

This is all so theoretical....

 

From the usual definition gaslighting happens in a relationship or at work, but not by outside third parties or some one time incident of a pub;ic officer or hospital staff. the manipulation and psychological impact requires some regularity.

 

If you categorise discrimination against gays as gaslighting, I think you did not understand what gaslighting means

[Guest Gaslighted]

25 minutes ago, Guest what said:

This is all so theoretical....

 

From the usual definition gaslighting happens in a relationship or at work, but not by outside third parties or some one time incident of a pub;ic officer or hospital staff. the manipulation and psychological impact requires some regularity.

 

If you categorise discrimination against gays as gaslighting, I think you did not understand what gaslighting means

Discriminatory Gaslighting Is A Thing.

 

https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/meghan-harry-experienced-discriminatory-gaslighting-here-s-how-you-can-ncna1262235

 

I think you got me wrong when you thought I equated discrimination with gaslighting.

[Guest Gaslighted]

Gaslighting is not limited to intimate, familial or work relationships. It is also not temporally determined. If you thought that, you do not understand what gaslighting is. It can be committed unintentionally or intentionally by a person to another.

 

According to Wikipedia:

 

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgement.^[1] It may evoke changes in them such as cognitive dissonance or low self-esteem, rendering the victim additionally dependent on the gaslighter for emotional support and validation. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction and disinformation,^[2] gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's beliefs.

Instances can range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents occurred, to belittling the victim's emotions and feelings, to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. The goal of gaslighting is to gradually undermine the victim's confidence in their own ability to distinguish truth from falsehood, right from wrong, or reality from delusion, thereby rendering the individual or group pathologically dependent on the gaslighter for their thinking and feelings.

The term originated from the British play Gas Light (1938), performed as Angel Street in the United States, and its 1940 and 1944 film adaptations (both titled Gaslight). The term has now been used in clinical psychological literature,^{[3]:31–46[4]} as well as in political commentary and philosophy.^[5]

 

[Guest Gaslighted]

Gaslighting is similar to psychological invalidation. It DESTROYS RELATIONSHIPS AND MENTAL HEALTH. It can cause Complex PTSD, anxiety, depression, OCD, violence, even suicide.

 

What Is Psychological Invalidation? How It Happens And Its Effects

By: Jenny Chang

Updated November 17, 2020

Medically Reviewed By: Aaron Horn

 

Emotional validation is the foundation for emotional safety in any relationship. It is an important tool for healthy communication, emotional intimacy, and love to flourish, and is also one of the most important things a parent can do to raise a psychologically healthy child.

That is why its polar opposite, psychological invalidation, is so painful, detrimental, and debilitating to the human psyche. It involves the process of telling someone that their internal experience is not important and is considered a form of emotional abuse that occurs in many social landscapes, structures, and relationships.

Because it can be so subtle, many people do not know when psychological invalidation is happening, or worse, think that it is normal. Furthermore, emotionally dismissive people may not recognize their behavior, which makes it all the more insidious.

What Is Psychological Invalidation?

Learn More About Psychological Invalidation Today

Speak With A Board-Certified Mental Health Expert Online Today

This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.

 

Source: pexels.com

The definition of invalidation or the definition of invalidate means to dismiss or make not valid. It is the act to knowingly invalidate something or someone. Therefore, psychological invalidation is the act of rejecting, dismissing, or minimizing someone else's thoughts and feelings. It implies that a person's experience is not important, wrong, or unacceptable. It is a damaging form of emotional abuse, and causes greater psychological distress, which makes the recipient filled with self-doubt. Manipulation control and psychological invalidation may be considered a strong control and psychological injury when done with such force that it causes long-lasting negative effects. 

Emotional abuse occurs whenever an individual is dictated on how to feel, told they are too sensitive or dramatic or advised not to feel a certain way. It denies the rich emotional repertoire that makes people wonder and complexly human.

Although this form of abuse is extremely hurtful to experience, it is particularly painful and degrading for someone highly sensitive, a survivor of abuse or trauma, or struggling with depression or anxiety. There are numerous ways to invalidate someone, including invalidating messages such as text, notes, or non-verbal physical cues. These are powerful non verbal invalidations that can significantly hurt the recipient of the invalidating messages.  

Psychological invalidation can be perpetrated by oneself or by another person, such as a friend, romantic partner, teacher, colleague, parent, or family member.

How Does Psychological Invalidation Happen?

Often, the person who invalidates is not aware or conscious that they are doing so; they believe they are genuinely helping the other person and do not purposely intend to shame their thoughts and feelings. They think they can help the person feel differently by forcing them to brush aside their present emotions. That is why emotional invalidation can be hard to confront-the perpetrator often does it invalidate unintentionally and ever so subtly. This is different from individuals knowingly invalidate the morals of someone. 

If a person is aware that they invalidate others, they do so as a way to manipulate and establish control over another individual. They try to make the other person question their thoughts and feelings and exerts effort to deny their experience, which is how gaslighting occurs. By implying that the other person is overreacting, emotional abusers skillfully blame their abusive behavior on someone else.

Reasons for psychological invalidation can range from an inability to empathize to not knowing how to validate others and express it effectively. Sometimes it is used as a power move to suppress an individual's feelings and control them. Intentional invalidators often defend their actions with accusatory statements and victim blaming; it is not them that is the issue, it is the victim who is in the wrong. A person who unintentionally invalidates, on the other hand, maybe uncomfortable dealing with another person's feelings.

Here are some ways invalidation can be verbally expressed or common invalidating statements:

1. "It could be worse." / "I'm sure it wasn't that bad." These statements minimize and marginalize someone's pain and force a toxic positivity on them.
2. "You shouldn't feel that way." This conveys a superiority over someone and denies their experience by making them feel small.
3. "Just get over it." / "Just let it go." This is an extremely dismissive expression and makes the other person feel emotionally suppressed and brushed aside.
4. "Man up." Men are persistently told this and are stereotyped into believing that burying one's emotions is "manly." This is completely false, and nobody, particularly men, should feel that their emotions are strange or unattractive.
5. "I know exactly what you're going through." This is widely used and is a way of minimizing and dismissing the other person and refocusing the attention to the perpetrator.
6. "I'm not going to discuss this with you." This statement may be accompanied by the silent treatment, a form of emotional denial, and makes the recipient feel like their feelings are not important, and neither are they.

Source: pexels.com

7. "Why are you making such a big deal over it?" This phrase involves shaming the other person and making them feel abnormal and dramatic for feeling the way they do.
8. "You're too sensitive." / "You're overreacting." This is a judgmental tactic that is used by manipulators to avoid responsibility for the offensive thing they did or said.
9. "I'm sorry you feel that way." This statement avoids accountability and implies that how you feel is not important and has nothing to do with them.
10. "You always have to make a fuss about things." This expression is a form of blaming, making the recipient feel as if they are being a burden or nuisance for feeling a certain way.

A person who emotionally invalidates may deny your experience altogether, saying that it never happened, that it doesn't make any sense, or telling you to stop making things up.

Moreover, psychological invalidation may include physical reactions, such as eye-rolling, walking out of the room while you are talking, or distracting themselves by looking at their phone.

What Are The Effects Of Psychological Invalidation?

Psychological invalidation causes serious psychological damage. Not only does it create emotional distance, conflict, violence, and disruption in relationships, but the recipient feels alienated, confused, inferior, worthless, and problematic.

It is believed that psychological invalidation contributes to emotional disorders and mental illnesses, with one study by clinical psychologist Marsha Linehan, Ph.D. revealing that being in an environment that is punishing or dismissive may cause borderline personality disorder. Another study indicated that it is associated with adult eating disorders.

Being in an invalidating environment has shown to have a negative impact on one's emotional self-efficacy, with a study published in the Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychopharmacology revealing that it can lead to serious consequences.

Being raised in an emotionally invalidating environment can be extremely detrimental for children who grow up to believe that their feelings are shameful and will cause intimacy and relationship issues in adult life as they struggle to be emotionally authentic and vulnerable. They think that to be loved; they need to hide their feelings. This is especially true for men, who struggle with emotional vulnerability as a result of a parent who was psychologically invalidating.

A study found that children who experienced emotional invalidation such as psychological abuse, punishment, and minimization experienced chronic emotional distress in adulthood and led to symptoms of depression and anxiety. It is the root of low self-esteem, a deep-seated fear of rejection, It can lead a child to believe that if his feelings do not matter, neither does he. It can also affect his or her life decisions and the ability to express and regulate emotions. Simple invalidations such as verbal invalidations the silent treatment is psychologically harmful. Moreover, invalidators often defend their verbal invalidations/the silent treatment as a way to “teach a lesson.” Several psychology news journals and magazines dismiss these types of stressors and punishments stating they cause irreversible harm to a developing youth. 

If an individual invalidates themselves, it makes building healthy, positive self-esteem very challenging; if they are struggling with depression and anxiety, can make recovery even harder.

How To Psychologically Validate Someone

If you notice that you have been psychologically invalidating toward others, the chances are that you had a parent, teacher, or friend who did the same to you. But the good news is, you can improve your behavior and take the first step toward change.

The first thing you can do to validate someone is to acknowledge or reflect the other person's experience. Let them know that you hear them and that it is okay and valid for them to feel that way. "I hear you are feeling disappointed about what happened."  It's important to remember that validation is not about agreeing with someone; you can have different thoughts or opinions but still be able to empathize with the other person.

Learn More About Psychological Invalidation Today

Speak With A Board-Certified Mental Health Expert Online Today

 

Source: rawpixel.com

Avoid giving unsolicited advice, and if you feel the need to, always ask them if they want help with this problem. If the answer is no, keep on listening. Remember, it is not your responsibility to fix anyone.

Validation means acknowledging, accepting, and understanding another's feelings and thoughts and that you support them in their perspective. It allows another person's internal experience to exist without having to judge it or brush it under the carpet. For example, if a child is afraid of the ocean, an invalidating parent might say, "Don't be silly, the ocean is nothing to be afraid of." A validating thing to say instead would be, "I hear that you are feeling scared. Can you tell me what makes you afraid of the ocean?"

If you have a habit of invalidating yourself, you can start by practicing simple affirmations that accept your feelings and experiences. Examples of these include:

"My feelings are valid, and they matter."

"I respect and honor my feelings."

"I accept my feelings as they are and acknowledge that they are not wrong."

"I will be compassionate with myself and listen to what my feelings are telling me."

"I choose to be around people who are loving and support my healing and growth."

How To Deal With Someone Who Is Psychologically Invalidating You

Emotions serve an important purpose and will almost always point to something that needs to be acknowledged. They are not right or wrong-they are a reflection of your inner experience. If you are the recipient of invalidation, know that you are not crazy or unstable-your thoughts and emotions are valid because they are real.

If someone is emotionally invalidating you, it is understandable that you defend yourself and increase your efforts to be understood. Being the recipient of invalidating comments triggers a fight-or-flight response that will either make you act aggressively or defensively. However, this will only establish conflict and division and play into the perpetrator's plan of distracting you from the real issue at hand.

Instead of getting angry or defending yourself, do not accept the invalidating statement. Let them know calmly using "I" statements how you feel, and be prepared to end the conversation if they do not hear you or want to hear you. Let them know that you will discuss the matter with them when you feel safe to do so. Be neutral and assertive and set clear boundaries with them.

If this person continues to emotionally abuse you, invalidate your feelings, and resist change, it may be wise to take inventory of the relationship and think about whether or not it is worth your time and investment. Therapy is an effective way of dealing with the intense emotions of being emotionally abused and can help you reclaim your self-confidence and assertiveness.

Remember that emotionally healthy and intelligent people do not invalidate and shame others repeatedly, and they are aware of the impact of their words and actions.

The Takeaway

Validation doesn't mean you lie or agree with another person, but to accept someone's experience as truthful for them. Surround yourself with people who support this, and who are kind, encouraging, and validating.

Source: pexels.com

Equally as important is being in a compassionate relationship with yourself. Remind yourself of your inherent worth-that you are enough and that you matter, regardless of what others think or say about you. When you truly know this, it can be very powerful.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

If I Disagree With Someone's Perspective, is That Psychological Invalidation?

Often, someone's opinions, experiences, and feelings may come into conflict with yours. However, it's not psychological invalidation to disagree with someone. Someone who validates will still listen, empathize, and try to come to common ground with someone, even if they disagree. Meanwhile, someone who practices psychological invalidation will ignore or dismiss one's experiences upright. It's important to know the difference.

Can Family Therapy Help A Family Member Who Is Emotionally Invalidating Me?

Yes, emotional validation that can be caused by the generational gap can be helped by family therapy. 

Why Is "You Shouldn't Let it Bother You" or "You Shouldn't Feel That Way" Invalidation?

Common invalidating statements such as "shouldn't let it bother you" or when you tell someone not to feel something can be an act of invalidation. When individuals knowingly invalidate others to the recipient of invalidating actions or invalidation statements can be painful so listening and being empathetic is the way to go. 

What is Psychological Invalidation?

The definition of invalidate or specifically psychological invalidation is basically when you tell someone that they shouldn’t feel the way that they’re feeling and their emotions aren’t real using invalidating statements. This is hurtful to the other person.

Validation is a critical part of our emotional experiences. Psychological invalidation can lead to or exacerbate an existing anxiety disorder and lead to panic attacks. Invalidating statements also undercut a person’s emotional understanding of reality. So, psychological invalidation is often used as a form of manipulation.

What is Traumatic Invalidation?

Traumatic invalidation is basically when you refuse to acknowledge and person’s emotional response to a trauma that they experienced. Traumatic invalidation occurs either when you refuse to validate or accept the person’s emotional response to the trauma, or when you refuse to acknowledge the trauma itself. You might downplay the traumatic event, saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but it really wasn’t a big deal.” Or, you may dismiss their anxiety disorder treatment, eating disorder therapy, or depression therapy as a hoax or way of getting attention, when in fact, it is the response to (and sometimes the cause of) trauma and stress that they’ve experienced.

How do you Respond to Emotional Invalidation?

The best way to respond to emotional invalidation is to make it clear to the other person that they’re emotionally invalidating you. If this doesn’t work and they don’t see the importance of validation from your explanations, then you can turn to therapy DBT. Therapy DBT gives your feelings a space to exist. When you give your emotional state a space to be explored and accepted, you can be surer of your own feelings and respond more effective to emotional invalidation.

Why do People Invalidate Feelings?

People invalidate others’ feelings for a multitude of reasons. However, people can also invalidate others’ feelings as a form of manipulation. This is the first step in a process called “gaslighting.” If someone is gaslighting you, it means that they are manipulating you by making you think that you’re not sane. Ultimately, their goal is to gain power over you. Invalidating your feelings or experiences is just the first step towards that goal.

What is the definition of invalidate or invalidation? And how do you use invalidate in a sentence?

The definition of invalidate or invalidation basically means refusing to accept. The definition of invalidate can different per person as there lot of things that people refuse to accept: just ask anyone who has ever been in therapy family therapy, couples therapy, or life coaching. A lot of the people who seek these treatments are either dealing with their propensity to invalidate others’ emotions or else they’re trying to process the feelings of invalidating people around them. 

Along with the definition of invalidate there are synonyms of invalidate or invalidate synonyms that include words like refuse, disprove and negate. When you're trying to use invalidate in a sentence it's helpful to learn invalidate synonyms or synonyms of invalidate and understand the definition of invalidate. You could also learn words from invlaidate to help you include invalidate in a sentence. Words from invalidate include invalidation and invalidator. Now that we have the synonyms for invalidate or invalidate synonyms, and words from invalidate, putting invaldiate in a sentence could look like "I feel like I invalidate myself. Becoming the invalidator and receieving Invalidation from myself is not something I am proud of." Other ways to use invalidate in a sentence using words from invalidate and invalidate synonyms could be "I refuse to believe that I can invalidate someone's feelings." A longer way to use invalidate in a sentence while using words from invalidate and invaidate synonyms can be "I constantely invalidate other's feelings by using common invalidation statements that refuse other's emotional experiences."

If you're trying to use invalidate in a sentence without using words from invalidate and invalidate synonyms it can simply be "I will strive not to invalidate another person's emotions."

How do you Invalidate Someone's Feelings?

The most common way that you might emotionally invalidate someone is by saying  “You shouldn’t feel that way,” or “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I don’t think that’s how you really feel.” As these responses are common, they can be used to invalidate unintentionally rather than being used when individuals knowingly invalidate someone. There are other numerous ways to invalidate someone’s feelings, too, even powerful non verbal invalidations are possible. Essentially, emotional invalidation, whether you invalidate unintentionally or not, occurs when you refuse to recognize another’s feelings and perceived subjective reality as real. Whether you use powerful non verbal invalidation, invalidate unintentionally, or use other numerous ways to invalidate someone, to the recipient of invalidating actions these actions are painful and should be avoided.

[Guest Gaslighted]

1 hour ago, upshot said:

Just another silly new buzzword from the Silly Progressive West.

 

The word is nothing. But what it describes is an action or intent which is what you could bring legal recourse if it meets all the requirement base on the laws it breaks.

 

Personally, the basic stripped down meaning is "Manipulation".  If I manipulate you to eat something you don't eat normally, can you sue me in court? If I manipulate people to dump a stock to drop the price in order for me to make a profit killing, can I be sue or reported for that?

 

Just a word. It's the CONTEXT that matters.

Not everything from the progressive west is new, silly, conjured up from thin air or a buzzword. Just like not everything old is useless and should be discarded. There can be good found in both. Very chicken soup I sound.

[upshot]

1 hour ago, Guest Gaslighted said:

Not everything from the progressive west is new, silly, conjured up from thin air or a buzzword. Just like not everything old is useless and should be discarded. There can be good found in both. Very chicken soup I sound.

It's just a term to describe something. When you focus it on one subject, it does not mean it is not use in another. It's another buzzword use today. Tomorrow another word will be chosen. At the end, should one be focus on that word or the issue it was chosen to represent?

 

Gaslighting is a word adopted from an old film in its originality, btw.

 

IF that word triggers some psychological breakdown in some folks here.. sorry to hear that, but go ahead and rant if it helps you cope. Derangement over certain word people link to certain emotions is nothing new. I would think seeking help in the real word would be more productive than here where no one is able to help you get to the root of it. Get some help.

 

 

What is GASLIGHTING? What does GASLIGHTING mean? GASLIGHTING meaning, de... https://youtu.be/zlaLbyTzGFo

Edited June 10, 2021 by upshot

[doncoin]

3 hours ago, Guest Gaslighted said:

What about gaslighting that caused mental distress, allowing and emboldened harassers to harass further?

 

OK. If the person or persons harassing you in a manner that endangers your safety, i.e. threatening you with a weapon, it is a criminal act. However, if they are just saying something that causes you distress, it is not criminal. The question you need to ask yourself is what is the goal you want to achieve? If they caused you mental distress, have you spoken to a professional about it? Have a record that exhibits that harassment caused you mental distress, so that when it is time to pursue legal action, you have records. 

 

2 hours ago, Guest Gaslighted said:

If discrimination against gays is legal in Singapore, not recognised or acknowledged by present government, and homosexuality acts are illegal, does it follow that discriminatory gaslighting of gays is perfectly legal and even upheld here?

 

Gaslighting really is subjective. You can choose to believe in it, or don't. 

 

[FattChoy]

2 hours ago, Guest Gaslighted said:

Gaslighting is similar to psychological invalidation. It DESTROYS RELATIONSHIPS AND MENTAL HEALTH. It can cause Complex PTSD, anxiety, depression, OCD, violence, even suicide.

 

What Is Psychological Invalidation? How It Happens And Its Effects

By: Jenny Chang

Updated November 17, 2020

Medically Reviewed By: Aaron Horn

 

Emotional validation is the foundation for emotional safety in any relationship. It is an important tool for healthy communication, emotional intimacy, and love to flourish, and is also one of the most important things a parent can do to raise a psychologically healthy child.

That is why its polar opposite, psychological invalidation, is so painful, detrimental, and debilitating to the human psyche. It involves the process of telling someone that their internal experience is not important and is considered a form of emotional abuse that occurs in many social landscapes, structures, and relationships.

Because it can be so subtle, many people do not know when psychological invalidation is happening, or worse, think that it is normal. Furthermore, emotionally dismissive people may not recognize their behavior, which makes it all the more insidious.

What Is Psychological Invalidation?

Learn More About Psychological Invalidation Today

Speak With A Board-Certified Mental Health Expert Online Today

This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.

 

Source: pexels.com

The definition of invalidation or the definition of invalidate means to dismiss or make not valid. It is the act to knowingly invalidate something or someone. Therefore, psychological invalidation is the act of rejecting, dismissing, or minimizing someone else's thoughts and feelings. It implies that a person's experience is not important, wrong, or unacceptable. It is a damaging form of emotional abuse, and causes greater psychological distress, which makes the recipient filled with self-doubt. Manipulation control and psychological invalidation may be considered a strong control and psychological injury when done with such force that it causes long-lasting negative effects. 

Emotional abuse occurs whenever an individual is dictated on how to feel, told they are too sensitive or dramatic or advised not to feel a certain way. It denies the rich emotional repertoire that makes people wonder and complexly human.

Although this form of abuse is extremely hurtful to experience, it is particularly painful and degrading for someone highly sensitive, a survivor of abuse or trauma, or struggling with depression or anxiety. There are numerous ways to invalidate someone, including invalidating messages such as text, notes, or non-verbal physical cues. These are powerful non verbal invalidations that can significantly hurt the recipient of the invalidating messages.  

Psychological invalidation can be perpetrated by oneself or by another person, such as a friend, romantic partner, teacher, colleague, parent, or family member.

How Does Psychological Invalidation Happen?

Often, the person who invalidates is not aware or conscious that they are doing so; they believe they are genuinely helping the other person and do not purposely intend to shame their thoughts and feelings. They think they can help the person feel differently by forcing them to brush aside their present emotions. That is why emotional invalidation can be hard to confront-the perpetrator often does it invalidate unintentionally and ever so subtly. This is different from individuals knowingly invalidate the morals of someone. 

If a person is aware that they invalidate others, they do so as a way to manipulate and establish control over another individual. They try to make the other person question their thoughts and feelings and exerts effort to deny their experience, which is how gaslighting occurs. By implying that the other person is overreacting, emotional abusers skillfully blame their abusive behavior on someone else.

Reasons for psychological invalidation can range from an inability to empathize to not knowing how to validate others and express it effectively. Sometimes it is used as a power move to suppress an individual's feelings and control them. Intentional invalidators often defend their actions with accusatory statements and victim blaming; it is not them that is the issue, it is the victim who is in the wrong. A person who unintentionally invalidates, on the other hand, maybe uncomfortable dealing with another person's feelings.

Here are some ways invalidation can be verbally expressed or common invalidating statements:

1. "It could be worse." / "I'm sure it wasn't that bad." These statements minimize and marginalize someone's pain and force a toxic positivity on them.
2. "You shouldn't feel that way." This conveys a superiority over someone and denies their experience by making them feel small.
3. "Just get over it." / "Just let it go." This is an extremely dismissive expression and makes the other person feel emotionally suppressed and brushed aside.
4. "Man up." Men are persistently told this and are stereotyped into believing that burying one's emotions is "manly." This is completely false, and nobody, particularly men, should feel that their emotions are strange or unattractive.
5. "I know exactly what you're going through." This is widely used and is a way of minimizing and dismissing the other person and refocusing the attention to the perpetrator.
6. "I'm not going to discuss this with you." This statement may be accompanied by the silent treatment, a form of emotional denial, and makes the recipient feel like their feelings are not important, and neither are they.

Source: pexels.com

7. "Why are you making such a big deal over it?" This phrase involves shaming the other person and making them feel abnormal and dramatic for feeling the way they do.
8. "You're too sensitive." / "You're overreacting." This is a judgmental tactic that is used by manipulators to avoid responsibility for the offensive thing they did or said.
9. "I'm sorry you feel that way." This statement avoids accountability and implies that how you feel is not important and has nothing to do with them.
10. "You always have to make a fuss about things." This expression is a form of blaming, making the recipient feel as if they are being a burden or nuisance for feeling a certain way.

A person who emotionally invalidates may deny your experience altogether, saying that it never happened, that it doesn't make any sense, or telling you to stop making things up.

Moreover, psychological invalidation may include physical reactions, such as eye-rolling, walking out of the room while you are talking, or distracting themselves by looking at their phone.

What Are The Effects Of Psychological Invalidation?

Psychological invalidation causes serious psychological damage. Not only does it create emotional distance, conflict, violence, and disruption in relationships, but the recipient feels alienated, confused, inferior, worthless, and problematic.

It is believed that psychological invalidation contributes to emotional disorders and mental illnesses, with one study by clinical psychologist Marsha Linehan, Ph.D. revealing that being in an environment that is punishing or dismissive may cause borderline personality disorder. Another study indicated that it is associated with adult eating disorders.

Being in an invalidating environment has shown to have a negative impact on one's emotional self-efficacy, with a study published in the Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychopharmacology revealing that it can lead to serious consequences.

Being raised in an emotionally invalidating environment can be extremely detrimental for children who grow up to believe that their feelings are shameful and will cause intimacy and relationship issues in adult life as they struggle to be emotionally authentic and vulnerable. They think that to be loved; they need to hide their feelings. This is especially true for men, who struggle with emotional vulnerability as a result of a parent who was psychologically invalidating.

A study found that children who experienced emotional invalidation such as psychological abuse, punishment, and minimization experienced chronic emotional distress in adulthood and led to symptoms of depression and anxiety. It is the root of low self-esteem, a deep-seated fear of rejection, It can lead a child to believe that if his feelings do not matter, neither does he. It can also affect his or her life decisions and the ability to express and regulate emotions. Simple invalidations such as verbal invalidations the silent treatment is psychologically harmful. Moreover, invalidators often defend their verbal invalidations/the silent treatment as a way to “teach a lesson.” Several psychology news journals and magazines dismiss these types of stressors and punishments stating they cause irreversible harm to a developing youth. 

If an individual invalidates themselves, it makes building healthy, positive self-esteem very challenging; if they are struggling with depression and anxiety, can make recovery even harder.

How To Psychologically Validate Someone

If you notice that you have been psychologically invalidating toward others, the chances are that you had a parent, teacher, or friend who did the same to you. But the good news is, you can improve your behavior and take the first step toward change.

The first thing you can do to validate someone is to acknowledge or reflect the other person's experience. Let them know that you hear them and that it is okay and valid for them to feel that way. "I hear you are feeling disappointed about what happened."  It's important to remember that validation is not about agreeing with someone; you can have different thoughts or opinions but still be able to empathize with the other person.

Learn More About Psychological Invalidation Today

Speak With A Board-Certified Mental Health Expert Online Today

 

Source: rawpixel.com

Avoid giving unsolicited advice, and if you feel the need to, always ask them if they want help with this problem. If the answer is no, keep on listening. Remember, it is not your responsibility to fix anyone.

Validation means acknowledging, accepting, and understanding another's feelings and thoughts and that you support them in their perspective. It allows another person's internal experience to exist without having to judge it or brush it under the carpet. For example, if a child is afraid of the ocean, an invalidating parent might say, "Don't be silly, the ocean is nothing to be afraid of." A validating thing to say instead would be, "I hear that you are feeling scared. Can you tell me what makes you afraid of the ocean?"

If you have a habit of invalidating yourself, you can start by practicing simple affirmations that accept your feelings and experiences. Examples of these include:

"My feelings are valid, and they matter."

"I respect and honor my feelings."

"I accept my feelings as they are and acknowledge that they are not wrong."

"I will be compassionate with myself and listen to what my feelings are telling me."

"I choose to be around people who are loving and support my healing and growth."

How To Deal With Someone Who Is Psychologically Invalidating You

Emotions serve an important purpose and will almost always point to something that needs to be acknowledged. They are not right or wrong-they are a reflection of your inner experience. If you are the recipient of invalidation, know that you are not crazy or unstable-your thoughts and emotions are valid because they are real.

If someone is emotionally invalidating you, it is understandable that you defend yourself and increase your efforts to be understood. Being the recipient of invalidating comments triggers a fight-or-flight response that will either make you act aggressively or defensively. However, this will only establish conflict and division and play into the perpetrator's plan of distracting you from the real issue at hand.

Instead of getting angry or defending yourself, do not accept the invalidating statement. Let them know calmly using "I" statements how you feel, and be prepared to end the conversation if they do not hear you or want to hear you. Let them know that you will discuss the matter with them when you feel safe to do so. Be neutral and assertive and set clear boundaries with them.

If this person continues to emotionally abuse you, invalidate your feelings, and resist change, it may be wise to take inventory of the relationship and think about whether or not it is worth your time and investment. Therapy is an effective way of dealing with the intense emotions of being emotionally abused and can help you reclaim your self-confidence and assertiveness.

Remember that emotionally healthy and intelligent people do not invalidate and shame others repeatedly, and they are aware of the impact of their words and actions.

The Takeaway

Validation doesn't mean you lie or agree with another person, but to accept someone's experience as truthful for them. Surround yourself with people who support this, and who are kind, encouraging, and validating.

Source: pexels.com

Equally as important is being in a compassionate relationship with yourself. Remind yourself of your inherent worth-that you are enough and that you matter, regardless of what others think or say about you. When you truly know this, it can be very powerful.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

If I Disagree With Someone's Perspective, is That Psychological Invalidation?

Often, someone's opinions, experiences, and feelings may come into conflict with yours. However, it's not psychological invalidation to disagree with someone. Someone who validates will still listen, empathize, and try to come to common ground with someone, even if they disagree. Meanwhile, someone who practices psychological invalidation will ignore or dismiss one's experiences upright. It's important to know the difference.

Can Family Therapy Help A Family Member Who Is Emotionally Invalidating Me?

Yes, emotional validation that can be caused by the generational gap can be helped by family therapy. 

Why Is "You Shouldn't Let it Bother You" or "You Shouldn't Feel That Way" Invalidation?

Common invalidating statements such as "shouldn't let it bother you" or when you tell someone not to feel something can be an act of invalidation. When individuals knowingly invalidate others to the recipient of invalidating actions or invalidation statements can be painful so listening and being empathetic is the way to go. 

What is Psychological Invalidation?

The definition of invalidate or specifically psychological invalidation is basically when you tell someone that they shouldn’t feel the way that they’re feeling and their emotions aren’t real using invalidating statements. This is hurtful to the other person.

Validation is a critical part of our emotional experiences. Psychological invalidation can lead to or exacerbate an existing anxiety disorder and lead to panic attacks. Invalidating statements also undercut a person’s emotional understanding of reality. So, psychological invalidation is often used as a form of manipulation.

What is Traumatic Invalidation?

Traumatic invalidation is basically when you refuse to acknowledge and person’s emotional response to a trauma that they experienced. Traumatic invalidation occurs either when you refuse to validate or accept the person’s emotional response to the trauma, or when you refuse to acknowledge the trauma itself. You might downplay the traumatic event, saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but it really wasn’t a big deal.” Or, you may dismiss their anxiety disorder treatment, eating disorder therapy, or depression therapy as a hoax or way of getting attention, when in fact, it is the response to (and sometimes the cause of) trauma and stress that they’ve experienced.

How do you Respond to Emotional Invalidation?

The best way to respond to emotional invalidation is to make it clear to the other person that they’re emotionally invalidating you. If this doesn’t work and they don’t see the importance of validation from your explanations, then you can turn to therapy DBT. Therapy DBT gives your feelings a space to exist. When you give your emotional state a space to be explored and accepted, you can be surer of your own feelings and respond more effective to emotional invalidation.

Why do People Invalidate Feelings?

People invalidate others’ feelings for a multitude of reasons. However, people can also invalidate others’ feelings as a form of manipulation. This is the first step in a process called “gaslighting.” If someone is gaslighting you, it means that they are manipulating you by making you think that you’re not sane. Ultimately, their goal is to gain power over you. Invalidating your feelings or experiences is just the first step towards that goal.

What is the definition of invalidate or invalidation? And how do you use invalidate in a sentence?

The definition of invalidate or invalidation basically means refusing to accept. The definition of invalidate can different per person as there lot of things that people refuse to accept: just ask anyone who has ever been in therapy family therapy, couples therapy, or life coaching. A lot of the people who seek these treatments are either dealing with their propensity to invalidate others’ emotions or else they’re trying to process the feelings of invalidating people around them. 

Along with the definition of invalidate there are synonyms of invalidate or invalidate synonyms that include words like refuse, disprove and negate. When you're trying to use invalidate in a sentence it's helpful to learn invalidate synonyms or synonyms of invalidate and understand the definition of invalidate. You could also learn words from invlaidate to help you include invalidate in a sentence. Words from invalidate include invalidation and invalidator. Now that we have the synonyms for invalidate or invalidate synonyms, and words from invalidate, putting invaldiate in a sentence could look like "I feel like I invalidate myself. Becoming the invalidator and receieving Invalidation from myself is not something I am proud of." Other ways to use invalidate in a sentence using words from invalidate and invalidate synonyms could be "I refuse to believe that I can invalidate someone's feelings." A longer way to use invalidate in a sentence while using words from invalidate and invaidate synonyms can be "I constantely invalidate other's feelings by using common invalidation statements that refuse other's emotional experiences."

If you're trying to use invalidate in a sentence without using words from invalidate and invalidate synonyms it can simply be "I will strive not to invalidate another person's emotions."

How do you Invalidate Someone's Feelings?

The most common way that you might emotionally invalidate someone is by saying  “You shouldn’t feel that way,” or “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I don’t think that’s how you really feel.” As these responses are common, they can be used to invalidate unintentionally rather than being used when individuals knowingly invalidate someone. There are other numerous ways to invalidate someone’s feelings, too, even powerful non verbal invalidations are possible. Essentially, emotional invalidation, whether you invalidate unintentionally or not, occurs when you refuse to recognize another’s feelings and perceived subjective reality as real. Whether you use powerful non verbal invalidation, invalidate unintentionally, or use other numerous ways to invalidate someone, to the recipient of invalidating actions these actions are painful and should be avoided.

Someone played with your feelings?

Oh, you poor little girl.... 

 

[Guest You are ironic]

2 hours ago, upshot said:

It's just a term to describe something. When you focus it on one subject, it does not mean it is not use in another. It's another buzzword use today. Tomorrow another word will be chosen. At the end, should one be focus on that word or the issue it was chosen to represent?

 

Gaslighting is a word adopted from an old film in its originality, btw.

 

IF that word triggers some psychological breakdown in some folks here.. sorry to hear that, but go ahead and rant if it helps you cope. Derangement over certain word people link to certain emotions is nothing new. I would think seeking help in the real word would be more productive than here where no one is able to help you get to the root of it. Get some help.

 

 

What is GASLIGHTING? What does GASLIGHTING mean? GASLIGHTING meaning, de... https://youtu.be/zlaLbyTzGFo

You are dispensing some really useful advice for yourself. Yes you should not delay your psychiatric treatment anymore!

 

Your epic and incoherent rants in monologue form everywhere in this forum are rather disturbing to read. Your long and disjointed sentences reflected your rather serious mental disturbances.

 

You have proven time and again to be that easily triggered at every turn by every word of others, by the air even, or perhaps, your over active imagination.

 

Are you also hearing voices? Please seek help for yourself before you "advice" others, or self harm!

[Guest FattYou]

1 hour ago, FattChoy said:

Someone played with your feelings?

Oh, you poor little girl.... 

 

You are a very imaginative asshole...

[Guest Gaslighted]

2 hours ago, doncoin said:

 

OK. If the person or persons harassing you in a manner that endangers your safety, i.e. threatening you with a weapon, it is a criminal act. However, if they are just saying something that causes you distress, it is not criminal. The question you need to ask yourself is what is the goal you want to achieve? If they caused you mental distress, have you spoken to a professional about it? Have a record that exhibits that harassment caused you mental distress, so that when it is time to pursue legal action, you have records. 

 

 

Gaslighting really is subjective. You can choose to believe in it, or don't. 

 

Threatening others with a weapon is no longer harassment, it is criminal intimidation, right?

 

Gaslighting is not subjective at all. It can be proven with compiled, recorded conversations.

[Guest Gaslighted]

Lee Hsien Long gaslighted the entire LGBT community (or at least pink dot organisers and supporters) by saying gay discrimination doesn't exist in Singapore because pink dot is being held annually here.

 

Guess why so many gays were up in arms over that passing remark.... You are right, cos they were emotionally abused by a tokenistic pink wearing discriminatory gaslighting PM! So clever 😉

[Guest Gaslighted]

PM Lee was being very patronising when he said that, on top of the discriminatory gaslighting. He was mildly gaslighting gays when he said gays are welcomed to work and play here, will not be harassed or discriminated against, which is not true for those who faced discrimination while working here.

 

A pattern soon emerges and that can be conjured as circumstantiall evidence for his gaslighting.

 

He is definitely causing harm when you see gays being labeled as attention seekers when they tried to sue for retrenchment due to discrimination and bullying at work. 

[Guest Gaslighted]

3 hours ago, doncoin said:

 

OK. If the person or persons harassing you in a manner that endangers your safety, i.e. threatening you with a weapon, it is a criminal act. However, if they are just saying something that causes you distress, it is not criminal. The question you need to ask yourself is what is the goal you want to achieve? If they caused you mental distress, have you spoken to a professional about it? Have a record that exhibits that harassment caused you mental distress, so that when it is time to pursue legal action, you have records. 

 

 

Gaslighting really is subjective. You can choose to believe in it, or don't. 

 

Psychological records are subjected to what and how things are said and what and how things are interpreted and recorded. Doctors have inherent biases and especially in Singapore, subjected to conservative and over reaching sexual and gender politics and cultural wars, self-censorahip, numerous OB markers and red tapes. They are not shrinks. Judges here are all of a certain persuasion and calibre, just look at where exactly S377A is hanging for such a long time....

[Guest Gaslighted]

Just look at the QUALITY of arguments put forth by the judges and especially the AGC during the most recent constitutional challenges. I am of the increasing view that gays are being viewed as the dispensible "other", if not outright criminals by the law here.

[Guest Gaslighted]

Discriminatory Gaslighting is Psychological Manipulation of "others". About Discriminatory Gaslighting of Meghan and Harry by Royal Family statement.

 

https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/meghan-harry-experienced-discriminatory-gaslighting-here-s-how-you-can-ncna1262235

 

.....Consolidating one’s power by causing individuals to question their own judgments, perceptions of reality and memories has a name: gaslighting. It is a form of psychological manipulation by which abusers build their authority — and ability to continue abusing — by breaking down their victim's or victims' sense of self and their confidence in their grip on reality.

 

Gaslighting not only leads to cognitive dissonance, low self-esteem and disempowerment on the part of the victim, but it can foster further dependence on the abuser as the only valid and veritable source of judgment, truth and memory — and it can even crush a person’s will to live.

 

Gaslighting and discrimination often go hand in hand, which is why we need a new term to refer to this particularly dangerous coupling: discriminatory gaslighting.

 

Discriminatory gaslighting happens when dominant social groups or individuals exclude or discriminate against minoritized groups and people and then deny their discriminatory behavior by calling into question the legitimacy of the victims’ perceptions or allegations. It is, in our society, tragically easy to write off an accusation of exclusion or discrimination by saying the victim misunderstood a decision, misjudged a gesture or behavior or misinterpreted someone’s words ("recollections may vary").

 

Discriminatory gaslighting, then, is a powerful and timeless tool of oppression....

 

[doncoin]

Well, you need to demonstrate that your life, or rather, the quality of your life has been negatively impacted by gaslighting, and you have sought professional help to improve upon it. Despite best efforts (very subjective), you have bought into what was said, and you have a record of what transpired where discriminatory actions/behaviors were clearly exhibited towards you. Good luck. 

[FattChoy]

7 hours ago, Guest Gaslighted said:

Discriminatory Gaslighting is Psychological Manipulation of "others". About Discriminatory Gaslighting of Meghan and Harry by Royal Family statement.

 

https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/meghan-harry-experienced-discriminatory-gaslighting-here-s-how-you-can-ncna1262235

 

.....Consolidating one’s power by causing individuals to question their own judgments, perceptions of reality and memories has a name: gaslighting. It is a form of psychological manipulation by which abusers build their authority — and ability to continue abusing — by breaking down their victim's or victims' sense of self and their confidence in their grip on reality.

 

Gaslighting not only leads to cognitive dissonance, low self-esteem and disempowerment on the part of the victim, but it can foster further dependence on the abuser as the only valid and veritable source of judgment, truth and memory — and it can even crush a person’s will to live.

 

Gaslighting and discrimination often go hand in hand, which is why we need a new term to refer to this particularly dangerous coupling: discriminatory gaslighting.

 

Discriminatory gaslighting happens when dominant social groups or individuals exclude or discriminate against minoritized groups and people and then deny their discriminatory behavior by calling into question the legitimacy of the victims’ perceptions or allegations. It is, in our society, tragically easy to write off an accusation of exclusion or discrimination by saying the victim misunderstood a decision, misjudged a gesture or behavior or misinterpreted someone’s words ("recollections may vary").

 

Discriminatory gaslighting, then, is a powerful and timeless tool of oppression....

 

More loser talk.  Forever a victim.  Boo hoo.

Edited June 11, 2021 by FattChoy

[Guest Fattyou]

1 hour ago, FattChoy said:

More loser talk.  Forever a victim.  Boo hoo.

Pretending you are not. That's even sadder. Deluded.

[Guest Fattyou]

Rowdy and uncivilised hecklers like Fattchoy should have been banned long time ago from this forum. Fancy trying to derail threads wherever he goes! Totally disrespectful and rude like Upshot-into-his-anus that siao lang.

 

[Guest what]

23 hours ago, Guest Gaslighted said:

Gaslighting is not limited to intimate, familial or work relationships. It is also not temporally determined. If you thought that, you do not understand what gaslighting is. It can be committed unintentionally or intentionally by a person to another.

 

According to Wikipedia:

 

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgement.^[1] It may evoke changes in them such as cognitive dissonance or low self-esteem, rendering the victim additionally dependent on the gaslighter for emotional support and validation. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction and disinformation,^[2] gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's beliefs.

Instances can range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents occurred, to belittling the victim's emotions and feelings, to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. The goal of gaslighting is to gradually undermine the victim's confidence in their own ability to distinguish truth from falsehood, right from wrong, or reality from delusion, thereby rendering the individual or group pathologically dependent on the gaslighter for their thinking and feelings.

The term originated from the British play Gas Light (1938), performed as Angel Street in the United States, and its 1940 and 1944 film adaptations (both titled Gaslight). The term has now been used in clinical psychological literature,^{[3]:31–46[4]} as well as in political commentary and philosophy.^[5]

 

There still must be a sort of relationship or close person as the manipulator. Nobody would be gaslighted through a one time incident or a one time acquaintance. 

[Guest bias]

On 6/10/2021 at 11:26 PM, upshot said:

Just another silly new buzzword from the Silly Progressive West.

 

The word is nothing. But what it describes is an action or intent which is what you could bring legal recourse if it meets all the requirement base on the laws it breaks.

 

Personally, the basic stripped down meaning is "Manipulation".  If I manipulate you to eat something you don't eat normally, can you sue me in court? If I manipulate people to dump a stock to drop the price in order for me to make a profit killing, can I be sue or reported for that?

 

Just a word. It's the CONTEXT that matters.

Not everything you don't understand or haven't come thru is an invention of leftist Western progressives. 

 

You could use a bit more restraint in your language. 

 

Gaslighting is a head title for a certain type of psychological manipulation and widespread in the psychological discourse. 

 

Your black and white, left and right categorisations are annoying. 

Gaslighting is not any invention of leftist progressives. 

 

In your logic you would see LGBT as a Western leftist progressive buzzword too. 

 

Before always shooting prematurely inform yourself on the topic first. 

[Guest what]

18 hours ago, Guest Gaslighted said:

Just look at the QUALITY of arguments put forth by the judges and especially the AGC during the most recent constitutional challenges. I am of the increasing view that gays are being viewed as the dispensible "other", if not outright criminals by the law here.

But what are you manipulated about???

[Guest His Age Revealed]

8 minutes ago, Guest bias said:

Not everything you don't understand or haven't come thru is an invention of leftist Western progressives. 

 

You could use a bit more restraint in your language. 

 

Gaslighting is a head title for a certain type of psychological manipulation and widespread in the psychological discourse. 

 

Your black and white, left and right categorisations are annoying. 

Gaslighting is not any invention of leftist progressives. 

 

In your logic you would see LGBT as a Western leftist progressive buzzword too. 

 

Before always shooting prematurely inform yourself on the topic first. 

If he is not annoying he won't be a boomer. Just let him die off slowly, if not from AIDS, it will be from suicide. Lol!!!

[Guest Gaslighted]

8 minutes ago, Guest what said:

But what are you manipulated about???

Homophobic people manipulated gays like you to be silent and be receptive to discrimination and unfair treatment. They don't even need to be your acquaintance. They just need to dislike or fear you.

[upshot]

47 minutes ago, Guest bias said:

 

In your logic you would see LGBT as a Western leftist progressive buzzword too. 

 

 

 YES I DO and it is TOXIC more than it does good so far. It brought out more of the worst political animals activist to try to speak for ALL OF US but benefit themselves, then help us all be seen as normal folks who just want peace and to get along fine with other people. What ever the sexuality is. To see each one as human and what human quality FIRST and not whose butt, mouth or cunt he/she/it is fucking and need to tell the world about it.

Edited June 11, 2021 by upshot
typo and clarity of context on the last paragraph

[Guest His Age Revealed]

36 minutes ago, Guest His Age Revealed said:

If he is not annoying he won't be a boomer. Just let him die off slowly, if not from AIDS, it will be from suicide. Lol!!!

Regarding what I said above. I am already saying that very kindly. Just flip through his countless shameless accounts in this forum of his crazy RISKY wild nymphomanic sexcapades as the bottom seedee and all his SUPER EPIC ICONIC UNHINGED MONOLOGICAL TIRADES. This guy should be examined, certified and then declared a antisocial and psychopathic sociopath!

[Guest His Age Revealed]

10 minutes ago, upshot said:

 YES I DO and it is TOXIC more than it does good so far. It brought out more of the worst political animals activist to try to speak for ALL OF US but benefit themselves, then help us all be seen as normal folks who just want peace and to get along fine with other people. What ever the sexuality is. To see each one as human and what human quality FIRST and not whose butt, mouth or cunt he/she/it is fucking and need to tell the world about it.

See my point? He is not making any sense with his running sentences of conflicting/contradicting words.

 

Only good at sounding pompous, he is a schizophrenia sufferer with delusions of grandeur who thinks he is a very experienced and clever etmology professor who can lecture others about "buzzwords" which are actual terms and concepts he knew nothing about. 

 

He should really be institutionalised and then euthanised.

[upshot]

14 minutes ago, Guest His Age Revealed said:

See my point? He is not making any sense with his running sentences of conflicting/contradicting words.

 

Only good at sounding pompous, he is a schizophrenia sufferer with delusions of grandeur who thinks he is a very experienced and clever etmology professor who can lecture others about "buzzwords" which are actual terms and concepts he knew nothing about. 

 

He should really be institutionalised and then euthanised.

Do you know why I even wrote anything in here... it was his TITLE.. and WHAT HE SAID.. He DID NOT MAKE CLEAR THE REAL REASON for what he wanted to ask. Instead he used GASLIGHTING LIKE some term that stand on ITSELF FOR SOMETHING.

Is Gaslighting Illegal in Singapore?

WTF do you think he meant by just that title? Then he went on to say this which again make so little sense as to why he is driving AT THAT TIME FRAME POINT when I read it to reply. 

 

Can we sue or lodge a Magistrate's Complaint against someone for gaslighting? Especially when that person is working in public services like the police, hospital, etc and they had gaslighted you in order to shirk responsibility and not help you because of discriminatory policies and S377A?

 

Why even use GASLIGHTING and not just say what you need to say with SIMPLE DIRECT words to express what you are really asking and with CONTEXT.

 

So thus I write that the word GASLIGHT is a BUZZ WORD use in general form to mean MANIPULATION.. Just use simpler words to explain what you are trying to ask. With no substance to see if the courts can take action or not. What I saw was a person who learned a new BUSSWORD and trying to use it by throwing it like EVERYONE KNOW WHAT HE MEANT and why.

 

You seem too emotionally worked up or are that person TS to understand the flow and why you screw up your own thread's purpose.

 

 

 

 

Edited June 11, 2021 by upshot

[Guest His Age Revealed]

He just coined a new term. Buzzword of the day: political animals.

 

Lol!!! What is that term he is brandishing on activists and going on and on on a senseless tirade about?

 

Is he doing a literal translation from mandarin and then try to use it as his new "buzzword" just to sound more mystical and clever? Lol!

[Guest His Age Revealed]

Upshot is a Chinese educated boomer with his head stuck in his fossilized butt. I rest my case.

[Guest His Age Revealed]

35 minutes ago, upshot said:

Do you know why I even wrote anything in here... it was his TITLE.. and WHAT HE SAID.. He DID NOT MAKE CLEAR THE REAL REASON for what he wanted to ask. Instead he used GASLIGHTING LIKE some term that stand on ITSELF FOR SOMETHING.

Is Gaslighting Illegal in Singapore?

WTF do you think he meant by just that title? Then he went on to say this which again make so little sense as to why he is driving AT THAT TIME FRAME POINT when I read it to reply. 

 

Can we sue or lodge a Magistrate's Complaint against someone for gaslighting? Especially when that person is working in public services like the police, hospital, etc and they had gaslighted you in order to shirk responsibility and not help you because of discriminatory policies and S377A?

 

Why even use GASLIGHTING and not just say what you need to say with SIMPLE DIRECT words to express what you are really asking and with CONTEXT.

 

So thus I write that the word GASLIGHT is a BUZZ WORD use in general form to mean MANIPULATION.. Just use simpler words to explain what you are trying to ask. With no substance to see if the courts can take action or not. What I saw was a person who learned a new BUSSWORD and trying to use it by throwing it like EVERYONE KNOW WHAT HE MEANT and why.

 

You seem too emotionally worked up or are that person TS to understand the flow and why you screw up your own thread's purpose.

 

 

 

 

You are stupid doesn't mean everyone else is. Clearly you are an outlier; pariah even.

[upshot]

17 minutes ago, Guest His Age Revealed said:

You are stupid doesn't mean everyone else is. Clearly you are an outlier; pariah even.

ooh... another buszword. Here's what I think about you. I am done with imbecile like you. ~out

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, Guest bias said:

Not everything you don't understand or haven't come thru is an invention of leftist Western progressives. 

 

You could use a bit more restraint in your language. 

 

Gaslighting is a head title for a certain type of psychological manipulation and widespread in the psychological discourse. 

 

Your black and white, left and right categorisations are annoying. 

Gaslighting is not any invention of leftist progressives. 

 

In your logic you would see LGBT as a Western leftist progressive buzzword too. 

 

Before always shooting prematurely inform yourself on the topic first. 

 

Yes, it is pure bias.  "Leftist Western progressives"  like "Silly progressive West" come from an individual that uses words as weapons.  

 

2 hours ago, Guest His Age Revealed said:

Upshot is a Chinese educated boomer with his head stuck in his fossilized butt. I rest my case.

 

2 hours ago, Guest His Age Revealed said:

You are stupid doesn't mean everyone else is. Clearly you are an outlier; pariah even.

 

3 hours ago, Guest His Age Revealed said:

See my point? He is not making any sense with his running sentences of conflicting/contradicting words.

 

Only good at sounding pompous, he is a schizophrenia sufferer with delusions of grandeur who thinks he is a very experienced and clever etmology professor who can lecture others about "buzzwords" which are actual terms and concepts he knew nothing about. 

 

He should really be institutionalised and then euthanised.

 

The last post here is very true but it could be going a little too far.   One should not deal with washed-out brains with euthanasia.   We see in America plenty of fossilized ultraconservatism,  people who see any social advances as "leftist",  "propagandist of communism", terms preferentially attached to "progressive".   Yes, for these people progress is something to condemn. But why "left"?  I am left handed, and it is nothing bad.   I know some very educated Chinese who don't have their head stuck in their fossilized butt. 

 

This particular fossilized ultraconservative also happens to be a pro-Trump from the distance.  This is proof of his trauma, and he should be treated with compassion. Maybe he is a senior,  and many seniors think that the world is heading towards destruction and everything was better in the old days. I am a senior, but fortunately I was created with optimism towards the future. 

 

And in the end, I don't see what is wrong with the word "gaslighting, gaslighted".  As long as its definition is clear and it is not abused out of context, it should be fine.

.

 

 

Edited June 11, 2021 by Steve5380

[Guest You are a moron! LOL!!!]

2 hours ago, upshot said:

ooh... another buszword. Here's what I think about you. I am done with imbecile like you. ~out

Thanks for your illustration efforts to showcase to everyone how your shameed face, tiny head and elongated skinny body are hiding, then stucked inside your oversized ass hole of a public bus! 辛苦你了!!! 👍

 

[Guest You slowww]

What Gaslighting is: if you know, you know.

 

Too delicate to Google? Then my posts are not for you, you entitled scum?

 

Don't have to demonstrate your desperation for attention from everyone who doesn't owe you an education for your low speed ignorance channeled into DIDACTIC arrogance in this forum in the form of verbal diarrhea text pollution.

[Guest Buzz buzzz]

Now buzzword has become his new buzzword?

 

Done showing off yer fossilized big butt? Now buzz off!

 

3 hours ago, upshot said:

ooh... another buszword. Here's what I think about you. I am done with imbecile like you. ~out

 

[Guest Upshot Ashamed to Love]

Out of pure GOODNESS from my heart I wish to light up for upshot-your-anus that fossilized butt so he will stop hating on progressive western educated elites that made life difficult for him as a public nude cyclist and occasional public raw sex advocate by advocating freedom to love (not just raw butt sex in the public only) for all.

[Guest Upshot Ashamed to Love]

Is Upshot ASHAMED of love or ASHAMED to love? Pls light up your candles for tortured, angry, lost and disillusioned people like him too who dwell in the darkness of the peripherals of our progressing society.

 

Love is not sex. Upshot's mentality is in-sync with internalised homophobia of conservative right wing haters. 

 

Upshot is supremely jealous of people who CAN and DO genuinely believe in freedom to love (without engaging in REAL ILLEGAL exhibitionistic nude cycling or raw butt sex in public).

 

Because he does not have the tools, capability and mental capacity for civilised and gentle expressions of love, apart from raw butt sex that fits right up his alley. 

 

*Lights candle on his butt-half* 🍑👍

 

[Guest upshot Sexposed]

Does everyone knows our iconic and outstanding resident forum bitch upshot is a kinky exhibitionist who loves to display her flabby belly skinny arms and bare big buttom while cycling nude in certain public parks at night and even forests in the evening for the public to see hoping to seduce dirty old men lurking in those public parks to breed her in some dirty dark corners?

 

Please feel free to contact her for those kind of fun!

[Guest Gaslighted]

I mean, has none of you ever experienced Gaslighting by others before or recognised it? Why because you never complained, sucked it up, denied your experiences or repressed your emotions and thoughts to get by and prevent creating a scene?

[Guest HE Could have been UPSHOT]

That makes cyclist could have been upshot. He had quite a few unsightly mental meltdowns recently on this forum. And yes, he admitted himself having this link or fetish in this forum. He is into barback sex too. Upshot is likely to be a mentally deranged bug chaser into all sorts of risky, self harming fun.

 

I wouldn't be surprised he is taking illegal drugs as well. I mean, look at how he types sometimes. Totally catch no ball???? Lol

 

You can see his sometimes sober sometimes drugged typing pattern/style that displays some of of split personality as well. Sometimes normal sometimes insane.

 

Hmmm must be taking drugs. If I were the SPF surfing this forum I would have tried to track him down to conduct a urine test for drugs on such a dangerous person.