Putting elderly in homes

[Guest Lawrence Arr]

Is it a trend that our elders are being put into home for the aged recently? 4 out of my 6 friends sent their parent there too. Why can't we sacrifice more to take care of them?

[Why?]

On 8/9/2022 at 10:07 PM, Guest Lawrence Arr said:

Is it a trend that our elders are being put into home for the aged recently? 4 out of my 6 friends sent their parent there too. Why can't we sacrifice more to take care of them?

Not all maids can be relied upon, have the necessary medical training, or be physically fit to care for the elderly.  These "freelance" caregivers, who frequently change based on their attitude or mood, could potentially cause more problems than the elderly people themselves.  Older people who are placed in nursing homes have the option of a full-time stay or merely day care, which includes transportation to a care facility. Other than those who have retired, children must continue to work to pay for nursing bill.
This approach is more moral than siblings squabbling over who is responsible for caring for whom. If you believe in sacrifice, you should consider quitting your career to care for your elderly parents. However, don't limit your flexibility in case your situation changes in trying time.

 

I believe that through lowering the cost of nursing care, Singapore must pay back these early builders of Singapore. The Medisave top-up, GST rebate, and Medisave grants pale in comparison and are merely cosmetic.

Edited August 9, 2022 by Why?

[Guest Guest]

The real question is... How are these people affording the care homes? They can easily be 3k a month or more.

[Why?]

On 8/9/2022 at 10:54 PM, Guest Guest said:

The real question is... How are these people affording the care homes? They can easily be 3k a month or more.

How much you are going to pay is dictate by the moral compass of our leader.

[robin]

On 8/9/2022 at 10:54 PM, Guest Guest said:

The real question is... How are these people affording the care homes? They can easily be 3k a month or more.

In Singapore, you can go through means testing to determine how much you need to pay. If results show you really almost totally cannot afford but need it, the subsidy can be up up 90%. 

[yhtang]

On 8/9/2022 at 10:26 PM, Why? said:

Not all maids can be relied upon, have the necessary medical training, or be physically fit to care for the elderly.  These "freelance" caregivers, who frequently change based on their attitude or mood, could potentially cause more problems than the elderly people themselves.  Older people who are placed in nursing homes have the option of a full-time stay or merely day care, which includes transportation to a care facility. Other than those who have retired, children must continue to work to pay for nursing bill.

 

This is accurate. 

 

There is a factor of the health of the elderly - both physically and mentally, and also the ability of the child or the minder as a caregiver.  

 

I have known the elderly to be verbally abusive and act very demanding towards the minder-child or the child-in-law.  I don't think I have the patience or the tolerance to care for such an elderly dependent.  Generally speaking, the elderly would not be that verbally abusive once they are out of their safety zone, in which case, a nursing home would be a better place for them.  

 

There are people who would comment that when we grow old, our children would be more likely to put us in nursing homes too.  I know it is likely that we shall reap what we sow, but I suppose each person will have to evaluate their own risk factors and make a decision they think is best for their family and for the elderly.  

 

Sometimes, we just could not know the other person's state of mind and circumstances until we have walked a mile in that person's shoes.    

[Guest Guest]

Singaporean got subsidy by gov in nursing home 90 percent .Is better to have fully equip than home not fully equip .

[fab]

Our garment says cheaper in JB. 

[Guest Been there]

On 8/9/2022 at 11:10 PM, robin said:

In Singapore, you can go through means testing to determine how much you need to pay. If results show you really almost totally cannot afford but need it, the subsidy can be up up 90%. 

Last time, we tried.  The G wanted all members and those staying outside (including those children already married and spouse income to be disclosed).   We find it intrusive, the nurse told us not advisable to proceed under those circumstances and said they feedbacked to the G's channel that is is harsh.   I believed....the purpose for the G is that they can take money from you with ease, but you can't go anywhere if you needed it. 

[Guest Try and see]

On 8/10/2022 at 3:10 PM, fab said:

Our garment says cheaper in JB. 

 

He denied saying it after the media reported it  LOL

 

[Guest Try and see]

On 8/10/2022 at 3:59 PM, Guest Try and see said:

 

He denied saying it after the media reported it  LOL

 

 

"Singaporeans could consider living in nursing homes in neighbouring Johor Baru…Of course many visit daily, but quite a significant number visit only during the weekends, so what is the difference in putting them in Johor Baru?"

Khaw Boon Wan, 2009

 

[fab]

So during CB still can visit?

[Guest Malaysia old folks]

What I'm confused. 

My aunt used to visit Malaysia but they can never stay in Malaysia for too long. 

 

Something about visit pass? 

How come Singaporean can stay in JB nursing home for long period. No need visa? No need employment? 

 

Even for expat to stay in Malaysia my second home only up to 10 years and need to have annual income xxx. 

 

Malaysia nursing home also need to cater for Malaysian la. 

 

Singaporean go spoil market as usual. Then Malaysian old folks go where. Go Thailand? 

[fab]

Msians go Thailand.

 

Thais go Lao .

 

Laos go China.

 

Chinese go Mongolia.

 

Mongols go Russia.

 

Russians go Antarctica. 

[Guest Guest]

On 8/10/2022 at 12:07 AM, Guest Lawrence Arr said:

Is it a trend that our elders are being put into home for the aged recently? 4 out of my 6 friends sent their parent there too. Why can't we sacrifice more to take care of them?

U try take care of them when ur time arrive & let us know ....

[robin]

On 8/10/2022 at 3:30 PM, Guest Been there said:

Last time, we tried.  The G wanted all members and those staying outside (including those children already married and spouse income to be disclosed).   We find it intrusive, the nurse told us not advisable to proceed under those circumstances and said they feedbacked to the G's channel that is is harsh.   I believed....the purpose for the G is that they can take money from you with ease, but you can't go anywhere if you needed it. 

When trying to get garment subsides, you should be heeding the advise of a social worker & not the nurse. 
 

You got to understand that if our country did not make it a stringent process before giving a high subsidy, there will be many people who will be abusing it.  
 

If a family is truly eligible & need the subsidies, the desperateness should overshadow all pride & ego. 
 

 

[robin]

On 8/10/2022 at 6:38 PM, Guest Guest said:

U try take care of them when ur time arrive & let us know ....

🤣 👍 

[robin]

My mom is wheelchair bound & she has a very strong character that none of her children can stay in the same house with her. How much it cost per month to upkeep the quality of her life & still have peace & sanity among the big family? About $7K (housing, maid, insurance, diapers, 3-times weekly physiotherapy, daily expenses etc).  And 80% of the cost is bore by  her gay son.   I am in a privileged situation but it does come with tremendous stress & at times, depression. Most people do not have these privileges & I don’t judge them for sending their parents to old age home where the old folks could have received better care. 

[Guest Guest]

FYI, Careshield Life, which can be paid for using the patients' or family members' CPF medisave, is now available for those elderly, but it is on an OPT-IN basis for these elderly group of people. On top of the basic CareShield Life, you can pay extra to get additional supplementary plans from private insurers to ride on the basic Careshield Life plans for bigger payouts if you want to. This payout can be used to support their living expenses and long-term care at such time.

 

In the past, the previous ElderShield is not open for these elderly to participate. 

 

Some small details here: https://www.cpf.gov.sg/member/healthcare-financing/careshield-life

[doncoin]

A good balance will be senior daycare. Most seniors can be home alone all day with maybe the grandchildren and a helper for company. At daycare, there will be the company of other seniors, organized activities, etc. which keeps their minds stimulated. The last thing you want is for the senior to be bored at home alone while the children are at work. Putting them in a home should always be the last resort. It is about the quality of life.

[Guest Ketchup]

On 8/10/2022 at 1:20 PM, yhtang said:

 

This is accurate. 

 

There is a factor of the health of the elderly - both physically and mentally, and also the ability of the child or the minder as a caregiver.  

 

I have known the elderly to be verbally abusive and act very demanding towards the minder-child or the child-in-law.  I don't think I have the patience or the tolerance to care for such an elderly dependent.  Generally speaking, the elderly would not be that verbally abusive once they are out of their safety zone, in which case, a nursing home would be a better place for them.  

 

There are people who would comment that when we grow old, our children would be more likely to put us in nursing homes too.  I know it is likely that we shall reap what we sow, but I suppose each person will have to evaluate their own risk factors and make a decision they think is best for their family and for the elderly.  

 

Sometimes, we just could not know the other person's state of mind and circumstances until we have walked a mile in that person's shoes.    

Like you, I do not have the patience or tolerance to care for unappreciative or verbally abusive elderly dependent. 
 

My mum tends to believe in just about anything she reads from the internet or from what her friends tell her about medical issues or health. Unfortunately for my dad who is totally henpecked, he will just go along with what she says. Eg, an aunt signed up for swimming classes, and she makes my dad sign up too. She makes my dad watch those useless free Fitbit-like watches to track steps. And when they cannot meet the daily steps quota, they will flip the watch while watching tv. She also bought some heart beat monitor machine and makes my dad record down daily. 

 

Just recently, in 1 of my dad regular medical check-up, my mum instructed him to tell the doc he gets breathless climbing the stairs. This alarmed the doc and the doc told us to bring him to A&E. I had to drop everything to bring him to A&E. The doc also picked up some lung prob after X-ray. After a few days of hospitalisation and simple antibiotics, my dad was discharged.
 

i was very frustrated by my mum for instructing my dad to tell doc he has breathlessness because that got him into A&E for nothing. ECG showed that my dad is perfectly fine. I scolded my mum for suggesting nonsense to my dad to tell the doc. Fortunately this incident also gave me the reason to stop my dad from ever going swimming because of the lung issue. If he needs to exercise, I don’t see why he cannot go to the nearby park to brisk walk. Why is there a need to go swimming just to get some exercise, which is risky given he has not swam for more than 30years. This boils down to my mum following blindly what someone told her.
 

My dad is one of the fittest 77-78yr old I have encountered. He has extremely good appetite and he can walk 1.5km to 2km easily. It is my mum’s constant fear of medical issues from reading nonsense from the internet, making a mountain out of molehill that pisses me off greatly. For years, I snore when I sleep and she say I have some prob. Then recently, she notice my shit is of certain shape, and she thinks I have prob. I am like wtf? 
 

It is precisely people like my mum that clogs up A&E with non-emergency and wasting precious healthcare resources and pushing up healthcare costs. 
 

I told her off that if she and my dad have so many perceived issues, they should just live in hospital for the rest of their lives, because any slight cough or nigger in the eyes of my mum is something terrible and in hospital, they will be in good hands. 
 

I reminded my mum about the boy who cried wolf story, and if she keeps kicking up fuss about small things each and every time, when it is real emergency, we as children may not treat it seriously. 

[Guest Guest]

On 8/11/2022 at 12:55 AM, Sizzler said:

Eldershield is a con-job .. you need to be unable to do 3 of the basic daily routines listed in order to qualify. And if you are unfortunate enough to qualify, whatever measly amount they pay you isn't going to be enough. 

 

 

Th

 

Hard to disagree on this. But there are private insurers who offer supplementary plans which will pay out when you become unable to do 2, instead of the 3, out of the 6 basic daily routines. But of course, insurance being insurance, they are there to earn money, not to lose. It is just that as in all cases, insurance can become very very helpful like in these cases here when the need arise.

[Guest huh]

On 8/10/2022 at 11:31 PM, robin said:

When trying to get garment subsides, you should be heeding the advise of a social worker & not the nurse. 
 

You got to understand that if our country did not make it a stringent process before giving a high subsidy, there will be many people who will be abusing it.  
 

If a family is truly eligible & need the subsidies, the desperateness should overshadow all pride & ego. 
 

 

If you needed help, you would go through a very uphill process in the hopes that you would finally lost your dignity to beg and give up trying. Some "nurses" are qualified social workers, and it has nothing to do with pride or ego.

[Guest Issa]

On 8/11/2022 at 2:13 AM, Guest Ketchup said:

Like you, I do not have the patience or tolerance to care for unappreciative or verbally abusive elderly dependent. 
 

My mum tends to believe in just about anything she reads from the internet or from what her friends tell her about medical issues or health. Unfortunately for my dad who is totally henpecked, he will just go along with what she says. Eg, an aunt signed up for swimming classes, and she makes my dad sign up too. She makes my dad watch those useless free Fitbit-like watches to track steps. And when they cannot meet the daily steps quota, they will flip the watch while watching tv. She also bought some heart beat monitor machine and makes my dad record down daily. 

 

Just recently, in 1 of my dad regular medical check-up, my mum instructed him to tell the doc he gets breathless climbing the stairs. This alarmed the doc and the doc told us to bring him to A&E. I had to drop everything to bring him to A&E. The doc also picked up some lung prob after X-ray. After a few days of hospitalisation and simple antibiotics, my dad was discharged.
 

i was very frustrated by my mum for instructing my dad to tell doc he has breathlessness because that got him into A&E for nothing. ECG showed that my dad is perfectly fine. I scolded my mum for suggesting nonsense to my dad to tell the doc. Fortunately this incident also gave me the reason to stop my dad from ever going swimming because of the lung issue. If he needs to exercise, I don’t see why he cannot go to the nearby park to brisk walk. Why is there a need to go swimming just to get some exercise, which is risky given he has not swam for more than 30years. This boils down to my mum following blindly what someone told her.
 

My dad is one of the fittest 77-78yr old I have encountered. He has extremely good appetite and he can walk 1.5km to 2km easily. It is my mum’s constant fear of medical issues from reading nonsense from the internet, making a mountain out of molehill that pisses me off greatly. For years, I snore when I sleep and she say I have some prob. Then recently, she notice my shit is of certain shape, and she thinks I have prob. I am like wtf? 
 

It is precisely people like my mum that clogs up A&E with non-emergency and wasting precious healthcare resources and pushing up healthcare costs. 
 

I told her off that if she and my dad have so many perceived issues, they should just live in hospital for the rest of their lives, because any slight cough or nigger in the eyes of my mum is something terrible and in hospital, they will be in good hands. 
 

I reminded my mum about the boy who cried wolf story, and if she keeps kicking up fuss about small things each and every time, when it is real emergency, we as children may not treat it seriously. 

As a mute person, I am left speechless

[robin]

On 8/11/2022 at 2:13 AM, Guest Ketchup said:

Like you, I do not have the patience or tolerance to care for unappreciative or verbally abusive elderly dependent. 
 

My mum tends to believe in just about anything she reads from the internet or from what her friends tell her about medical issues or health. Unfortunately for my dad who is totally henpecked, he will just go along with what she says. Eg, an aunt signed up for swimming classes, and she makes my dad sign up too. She makes my dad watch those useless free Fitbit-like watches to track steps. And when they cannot meet the daily steps quota, they will flip the watch while watching tv. She also bought some heart beat monitor machine and makes my dad record down daily. 

 

Just recently, in 1 of my dad regular medical check-up, my mum instructed him to tell the doc he gets breathless climbing the stairs. This alarmed the doc and the doc told us to bring him to A&E. I had to drop everything to bring him to A&E. The doc also picked up some lung prob after X-ray. After a few days of hospitalisation and simple antibiotics, my dad was discharged.
 

i was very frustrated by my mum for instructing my dad to tell doc he has breathlessness because that got him into A&E for nothing. ECG showed that my dad is perfectly fine. I scolded my mum for suggesting nonsense to my dad to tell the doc. Fortunately this incident also gave me the reason to stop my dad from ever going swimming because of the lung issue. If he needs to exercise, I don’t see why he cannot go to the nearby park to brisk walk. Why is there a need to go swimming just to get some exercise, which is risky given he has not swam for more than 30years. This boils down to my mum following blindly what someone told her.
 

My dad is one of the fittest 77-78yr old I have encountered. He has extremely good appetite and he can walk 1.5km to 2km easily. It is my mum’s constant fear of medical issues from reading nonsense from the internet, making a mountain out of molehill that pisses me off greatly. For years, I snore when I sleep and she say I have some prob. Then recently, she notice my shit is of certain shape, and she thinks I have prob. I am like wtf? 
 

It is precisely people like my mum that clogs up A&E with non-emergency and wasting precious healthcare resources and pushing up healthcare costs. 
 

I told her off that if she and my dad have so many perceived issues, they should just live in hospital for the rest of their lives, because any slight cough or nigger in the eyes of my mum is something terrible and in hospital, they will be in good hands. 
 

I reminded my mum about the boy who cried wolf story, and if she keeps kicking up fuss about small things each and every time, when it is real emergency, we as children may not treat it seriously. 

It’s tough to take care of old folks. As much as most will say we will not be like them when we grow old, we probably will. 

[Guest Con beyond Con Job]

On 8/11/2022 at 12:55 AM, Sizzler said:

Eldershield is a con-job .. you need to be unable to do 3 of the basic daily routines listed in order to qualify. And if you are unfortunate enough to qualify, whatever measly amount they pay you isn't going to be enough. 

 

 

Th

The 2 very unncessary items we pay is CDAC and Eldershield.  They accummulated billions of such fund and...nobody knew exactly what they invested.  Hopefully not to bail out any foreign bad investments.  Luckily you can opt out CDAC but not Eldershield. 

[Guest When is the end]

So when you gay became old and useless, will you put yourself into homes? 

[fab]

Stay in JB is better.

 

1/3 of the price. Thanks to our strong currency. Manjura singapura. 

[yhtang]

On 8/11/2022 at 12:52 AM, Sizzler said:

My time came ... I made sure I accompanied my mum for dinner every day, fed her her food and put her to bed every night. I gave up travelling and my regional job so that I could spend time with her.

 

Now that she is gone, I still regret not having spent more time with her. Come what may .. I will never put my mother in an old folks home.

 

I think there may be many who are envious you had the wherewithal to be able to look after your mother full time, and was able to spend quality time with her. 

 

Seeing that you have a close bond with your mother, I think it is inevitable that you will always feel that you could have spent more time with her because whatever time you had had with her would never feel enough.  

 

I suppose it could be said that we feel sad for the ones we have lost because we had a strong bond with them, and that strong bond is a blessing despite the pain and the loss that we feel for losing them.

[Steve5380]

This thread should give thought to so many young gays who think that they are indestructible and will live forever.  This thought should convince of the smartness of taking good care of the body throughout life.    Especially we gays who may end up being single and by ourselves in old age.

 

On 8/9/2022 at 9:07 AM, Guest Lawrence Arr said:

Is it a trend that our elders are being put into home for the aged recently? 4 out of my 6 friends sent their parent there too. Why can't we sacrifice more to take care of them?

 

There should be no need for 80 y.o. singles or couples to be placed in a nursing home.  Healthy seniors don't require much to live well.  They should be responsible enough to try to not be a burden or just the minimum.  The needs are mostly food, some personal help and entertainment.  How old were the parents of your 4 friends?  How much "sacrifice" they required to keep them in their home?  

 

It is also wise to minimize the "sacrifice" created by our elders.   After we become adults,  we should not put up with bitchy mothers and lazy or demanding fathers.  They should be kindly influenced to put down their egoistic ways and cooperate with whoever gives them some care.   If they refuse or fight, they should soon understand that with that attitude they will receive only a bare minimum care or none at all.  

 

We have the right to love ourselves above anyone else.  Filial love, filial gratitude, even filial pity are good feelings.  But filial servitude throughout adult life has no moral grounds. ( This is so highly important when it comes to living the life our orientation calls for instead of yielding to some mistaken, selfish desires of your parents ) What we received from our parents is also their payback for what they received in turn from their own parents.  Any sacrifices we do out of filial love and gratitude are not so much "sacrifices" because, in the way our spirit works, it will pay us back.   And it is important that our elders act to become deserving of these "sacrifices".

 

On 8/10/2022 at 12:20 AM, yhtang said:

 

I have known the elderly to be verbally abusive and act very demanding towards the minder-child or the child-in-law.  I don't think I have the patience or the tolerance to care for such an elderly dependent.  Generally speaking, the elderly would not be that verbally abusive once they are out of their safety zone, in which case, a nursing home would be a better place for them.  

 

 

It may be more a matter of FAIRNESS than the degree of patience or tolerance of the potential caregiver.  Abusive and demanding elderly SHOULD NOT have a safety zone at home.   It is not real that the elderly cannot change anymore.  Older people we can change until the day we die.

.

Edited August 11, 2022 by Steve5380

[fab]

On 8/12/2022 at 2:23 AM, Steve5380 said:

This thread should give thought to so many young gays who think that they are indestructible and will live forever.  This thought should convince of the smartness of taking good care of the body throughout life.    Especially we gays who may end up being single and by ourselves in old age.

 

 

There should be no need for 80 y.o. singles or couples to be placed in a nursing home.  Healthy seniors don't require much to live well.  They should be responsible enough to try to not be a burden or just the minimum.  The needs are mostly food, some personal help and entertainment.  How old were the parents of your 4 friends?  How much "sacrifice" they required to keep them in their home?  

 

It is also wise to minimize the "sacrifice" created by our elders.   After we become adults,  we should not put up with bitchy mothers and lazy or demanding fathers.  They should be kindly influenced to put down their egoistic ways and cooperate with whoever gives them some care.   If they refuse or fight, they should soon understand that with that attitude they will receive only a bare minimum care or none at all.  

 

We have the right to love ourselves above anyone else.  Filial love, filial gratitude, even filial pity are good feelings.  But filial servitude throughout adult life has no moral grounds. ( This is so highly important when it comes to living the life our orientation calls for instead of yielding to some mistaken, selfish desires of your parents ) What we received from our parents is also their payback for what they received in turn from their own parents.  Any sacrifices we do out of filial love and gratitude are not so much "sacrifices" because, in the way our spirit works, it will pay us back.   And it is important that our elders act to become deserving of these "sacrifices".

 

 

It may be more a matter of FAIRNESS than the degree of patience or tolerance of the potential caregiver.  Abusive and demanding elderly SHOULD NOT have a safety zone at home.   It is not real that the elderly cannot change anymore.  Older people we can change until the day we die.

.

 

Many straights also end up alone in old age.

[Guest Guest]

 Installing a hospital bed in the flat is so inconvenient and super heavy.Is better to use the nursing facilities and manpower .

[Anderson]

We all will get old and feeble, some sooner than others. Especially for singles, we can't depend on siblings, if any,  and really need to take care of ourselves. Maybe one day we have no choice but have to move into a home so as to be taken of. 

The question probably is just where.

[Guest Guest]

On 8/11/2022 at 2:42 PM, fab said:

Stay in JB is better.

 

1/3 of the price. Thanks to our strong currency. Manjura singapura. 

 

You Singaporean? 丢脸。

[tyan]

In my opinion, it is a battle between reality vs ideal. 
 

Ideally, no kids will want to put their parents to home. Besides, the cost is even higher. But in reality, not all kids are able to take care of their parents especially those with mobility or mental issue. 
 

sometimes I feel that if I have kids & when I grow old. I will like to regain my freedom from my kids. I will do my own things at Homes. Make friends and spend on my hobbies. Kids have their own life. 

[Guest Horace]

On 8/12/2022 at 2:23 AM, Steve5380 said:

This thread should give thought to so many young gays who think that they are indestructible and will live forever.  This thought should convince of the smartness of taking good care of the body throughout life.    Especially we gays who may end up being single and by ourselves in old age.

 

 

There should be no need for 80 y.o. singles or couples to be placed in a nursing home.  Healthy seniors don't require much to live well.  They should be responsible enough to try to not be a burden or just the minimum.  The needs are mostly food, some personal help and entertainment.  How old were the parents of your 4 friends?  How much "sacrifice" they required to keep them in their home?  

 

It is also wise to minimize the "sacrifice" created by our elders.   After we become adults,  we should not put up with bitchy mothers and lazy or demanding fathers.  They should be kindly influenced to put down their egoistic ways and cooperate with whoever gives them some care.   If they refuse or fight, they should soon understand that with that attitude they will receive only a bare minimum care or none at all.  

 

We have the right to love ourselves above anyone else.  Filial love, filial gratitude, even filial pity are good feelings.  But filial servitude throughout adult life has no moral grounds. ( This is so highly important when it comes to living the life our orientation calls for instead of yielding to some mistaken, selfish desires of your parents ) What we received from our parents is also their payback for what they received in turn from their own parents.  Any sacrifices we do out of filial love and gratitude are not so much "sacrifices" because, in the way our spirit works, it will pay us back.   And it is important that our elders act to become deserving of these "sacrifices".

 

 

It may be more a matter of FAIRNESS than the degree of patience or tolerance of the potential caregiver.  Abusive and demanding elderly SHOULD NOT have a safety zone at home.   It is not real that the elderly cannot change anymore.  Older people we can change until the day we die.

.

 

They are saying that I'm insensitive but I do feel this

[yhtang]

On 8/12/2022 at 11:54 PM, tyan said:

In my opinion, it is a battle between reality vs ideal. 
 

Ideally, no kids will want to put their parents to home. Besides, the cost is even higher. But in reality, not all kids are able to take care of their parents especially those with mobility or mental issue. 
 

sometimes I feel that if I have kids & when I grow old. I will like to regain my freedom from my kids. I will do my own things at Homes. Make friends and spend on my hobbies. Kids have their own life. 

 

What you say is valid.   I feel the problem starts when the elderly person is not capable of looking after himself.  

[Dart]

Putting our elders in good nursing homes where they can get proper care and treatment is not unfilial as previously thought. What is unable to provide, is compensated with hard earned money. Our concern and attitude will get our elders to see for themselves.

[robin]

On 8/13/2022 at 10:48 PM, Dart said:

Putting our elders in good nursing homes where they can get proper care and treatment is not unfilial as previously thought. What is unable to provide, is compensated with hard earned money. Our concern and attitude will get our elders to see for themselves.

Unfortunately, when one gets old, with the deterioration of the brain or even Alzheimer disease, they may no longer understand what’s happening in the surrounding. 
 

Whenever I thought about my dad who has passed away, the only thing I can say is, sorry if I have not done enough but I have done the best I could.

[Why?]

On 8/13/2022 at 10:48 PM, Dart said:

Putting our elders in good nursing homes where they can get proper care and treatment is not unfilial as previously thought. What is unable to provide, is compensated with hard earned money. Our concern and attitude will get our elders to see for themselves.

Some elderly people choose not to reside in nursing homes. Giving them an option and basing your decisions on that is a smart idea. The reason is because those areas are frequently clinically designed, reeked of medicine, and give off unfavourable vibes whenever other elderly folks passes..  They are unfamiliar with those type of set-up, which lacks any sense of homeliness or familial family warmth.

[Guest guest]

On 8/9/2022 at 10:54 PM, Guest Guest said:

The real question is... How are these people affording the care homes? They can easily be 3k a month or more.

If really need to pay $3k a month, then salary must be at least $15k per month or more so that able to afford?

[Dart]

On 8/13/2022 at 11:19 PM, robin said:

Unfortunately, when one gets old, with the deterioration of the brain or even Alzheimer disease, they may no longer understand what’s happening in the surrounding. 
 

Whenever I thought about my dad who has passed away, the only thing I can say is, sorry if I have not done enough but I have done the best I could.

 

I'm sorry to hear of your dad's passing away. Even though an aged person with brain deterioration seems not able to understand the environment, he can still see and feel the frequent presence and love of a familiar face. 

 

You have given your best to your father. Your conscience is clear as in keeping with "Honor your father and mother."

 

On 8/13/2022 at 11:22 PM, Why? said:

Some elderly people choose not to reside in nursing homes. Giving them an option and basing your decisions on that is a smart idea. The reason is because those areas are frequently clinically designed, reeked of medicine, and give off unfavourable vibes whenever other elderly folks passes..  They are unfamiliar with those type of set-up, which lacks any sense of homeliness or familial family warmth.

 

Do you rather have an elderly living in an ill equipped home with haphazard attention? I have come across nursing homes that are not clinically designed and do not reek of medicine. These homes are attended by professionals and have a direct line to hospitals in case of emergency. A critically ill resident is quickly transported by an ambulance. Most if not all deaths occur in the hospitals. 

 

This calls for scrutiny in checking out the environment and set up of a home.

[Guest Old bastard]

Old bastard at people's park hawker center want to dong shou dong jiau. Wish you and your masters die horrible deaths.

[Escape Room]

On 8/11/2022 at 2:14 PM, Guest When is the end said:

So when you gay became old and useless, will you put yourself into homes? 

Yes, I will. 

[Steve5380]

On 8/15/2022 at 8:27 PM, Escape Room said:

Yes, I will. 

 

Will you not first try,  regardless of old,  to not become useless?