How will encourage people to be more kinder to one another?

[Guest Taylor]

I waa bullied when i was a kid and now at work. How can people be kind to each other?

[auscent]

Learn to say no.

Maintain a respectable distance, until ppl prove to be a bit decent.

[doncoin]

I noticed people who are unkind typically tend to be projecting their own unhappiness onto someone else, to make them as miserable as themselves. Sure it hurts to be at the receiving end of things, but if you see past beyond your feelings, and recognize that the unkind person is also hurting, you can develop empathy for that person, and the next time that person behaves unkindly again towards you or someone else, you can gently tell him to stop, or go fuck off.

[robin]

I have a colleague who is negative & arrogant. Once he Teams me & started hurling insults & accusations. I just replied that I do not want to continue this accusing & toxic conversation. I stopped responding to that conversation & soon, it just ended there.

 

TS, the world is full of screwed up people, including ourselves. You don’t hold the responsibilities to change them. You just need to learn to manage them so their ugliness don’t eat into you.  

[Steve5380]

On 8/20/2022 at 11:30 AM, Guest Taylor said:

I waa bullied when i was a kid and now at work. How can people be kind to each other?

 

On 8/20/2022 at 12:30 PM, robin said:

 

TS, the world is full of screwed up people, including ourselves. You don’t hold the responsibilities to change them. You just need to learn to manage them so their ugliness don’t eat into you.

 

 

Good reply.  And beyond this,  there is a possibility to change people for the better by giving the right example.

[Dart]

On 8/21/2022 at 12:30 AM, Guest Taylor said:

I waa bullied when i was a kid and now at work. How can people be kind to each other?

 

Have you heard of the Chinese expression: 人善被人欺, 马善被人骑? It speaks of a generous soul being always taken advantage, like a generous horse being selected to be ridden. 

 

As a recipient, you learn how to defend yourself, to persevere which ultimately builds up your character. Bullies are cowards. This could well stemmed from one's upbringing or one's own lack of confidence/security. 

 

Well, we can make effort to encourage and reassure these cowards but ultimately it's them who must take the initiative to improve themselves as the saying goes: 

 

"It only takes one man to bring a horse to the water but ten men cannot force the horse to drink the water" 

 

[fab]

On 8/21/2022 at 12:30 AM, Guest Taylor said:

I waa bullied when i was a kid and now at work. How can people be kind to each other?

 

Mentally apologize to them as you had offended in the previous lives.

 

On the surface, be cordial but firmed to them. Allowing them to continue the bullying will result in bad karmas for them.

[Why?]

On 8/21/2022 at 12:30 AM, Guest Taylor said:

I waa bullied when i was a kid and now at work. How can people be kind to each other?

Distancing, disassociation, avoidance and keeping quiet..  They'll understand the message.

[sgmaven]

Frankly, human nature is such that most will take advantage of others. That is why any system that solely depends on the "goodness of man" cannot really survive, since others will subjugate and take advantage of them.

 

Some say that bullies are only acting out what frustrations they have, but many also bully others "just because they can" (it is an ego-trip for them). I don't want to generalise, since I think there are all sorts of people.

 

I think many religions, by preaching being good to others, are rather counter-cultural. However, many then use this instrument to achieve their own goals, corrupting the very religion and perverting it. That is why you see religious leaders also spouting hate.

[Steve5380]

On 8/21/2022 at 6:39 AM, Why? said:

Distancing, disassociation, avoidance and keeping quiet..  They'll understand the message.

 

This may work with educated adult bullies.  But children who bully don't keep distances, avoidances, quietness.  They ATTACK.

 

I strongly recommend parents of weak, vulnerable children to take them to a good martial arts school with a kind teacher,  to learn self-defense.

 

On 8/21/2022 at 8:12 AM, sgmaven said:

Frankly, human nature is such that most will take advantage of others. That is why any system that solely depends on the "goodness of man" cannot really survive, since others will subjugate and take advantage of them.

 

Some say that bullies are only acting out what frustrations they have, but many also bully others "just because they can" (it is an ego-trip for them). I don't want to generalise, since I think there are all sorts of people.

 

I think many religions, by preaching being good to others, are rather counter-cultural. However, many then use this instrument to achieve their own goals, corrupting the very religion and perverting it. That is why you see religious leaders also spouting hate.

 

Some moral teachings should be taken within their esoteric contexts.  Like Jesus' answer to the question of what to do when slapped,  " to offer the other cheek ",  should not be taken literally.  We should be "good to others",  others who have at least some decency and accept that goodness.  Those who are evil and malevolent deserve punishments which can be taken as fulfillments of karma. 

.

Edited August 21, 2022 by Steve5380

[Steve5380]

On 8/21/2022 at 5:20 AM, Dart said:

 

Have you heard of the Chinese expression: 人善被人欺, 马善被人骑? It speaks of a generous soul being always taken advantage, like a generous horse being selected to be ridden. 

 

 

This was the nature of my late boyfriend.  He was not weak, he was not scared.  He had been born with a big heart full of empathy, and he never changed.  After we got acquainted,  I had the extra function of scaring away all the vultures who had descended on him to exploit him.  I was successful because I'm not easy-going and he trusted me.  And I discovered an interesting reality:   people who took advantage of him thought that he was DUMB.   In reality he was highly intelligent and smart, just had so much empathy, he could not say NO,  and it took me a long time to make him comfortable with this convenient two-letter word.

[sgmaven]

I would also like to say that certain cultures have their inbuilt sense of superiority for whatever reason, and many from that culture see no problems with treating others as "lower than themselves". They use this to justify whatever actions that bully or exploit others. As such, it is very difficult to reason with these people, since you might have to undo their whole lifetime's worth of cultural programming.

[Guest guest]

On 8/21/2022 at 12:30 AM, Guest Taylor said:

I waa bullied when i was a kid and now at work. How can people be kind to each other?

There are many bad people around. Nothing much you can do about it, just avoid them.

[sgmaven]

On 8/21/2022 at 10:48 PM, Steve5380 said:

people who took advantage of him thought that he was DUMB.   In reality he was highly intelligent and smart, just had so much empathy, he could not say NO,  and it took me a long time to make him comfortable with this convenient two-letter word.

It is very true that not everyone who is bullied or exploited is dumb or weak. They just happen to see things in a different perspective...

[Steve5380]

On 8/21/2022 at 9:48 AM, sgmaven said:

I would also like to say that certain cultures have their inbuilt sense of superiority for whatever reason, and many from that culture see no problems with treating others as "lower than themselves". They use this to justify whatever actions that bully or exploit others. As such, it is very difficult to reason with these people, since you might have to undo their whole lifetime's worth of cultural programming.

 

It is already an advantage if one can REASON with these people at all.  Today, with modern global communications, we have available good sets of role models of any race and ethnicity  to bring up as arguments.  For example,  we can argue for hours proving that we gays are not inferior.   

[Steve5380]

To be kinder is good and fine.   How about bringing kindness to a whole new level?  

 

I just read a story that moved my heart:

 

https://www.cnn.com/2022/08/21/americas/haiti-dad-adoption-boy-found/index.html

 

 

Emilio Angel Jeremiah, Jimmy Amisial and Amisial's mother, Elicie Jean.

'He calls me Dad.' Guardian raises money to adopt boy he found in trash in his native Haiti

 

Some acts of kindness earn the prize of Heaven...  on Earth.  The kindness of this man gave life to a kid for the second time and changed his own life forever.

 

[Guest Swift]

On 8/21/2022 at 12:30 AM, Guest Taylor said:

I waa bullied when i was a kid and now at work. How can people be kind to each other?

I guess you are not alone. Opression doesn't stop, it doesn't change. There are more people out their that is very unkind.