End

[AnglesnDemons]

The first time: quick, furtive, intense, it tasted thick, you left salt on my skin and a desire for more, it felt messy and I felt messy after. You planted a flag in my mind. 

 

Second: it took you a year. I tried my best. You were not ready. I was too keen maybe. Then it finally happened. You were more grown up. More together.  And when we met. Just open. Uninhibited. Perhaps I was again too keen. You gave me something I never had before. I will never forget it. You are unforgettable.

 

Third: reunion. It was like a first. It was a blur. A rush. Lust. But tender. Anticipated but familiar. Awkward but needed. You gave me something different. Loving. Almost. But never could be loving. We agreed not to love.

 

Fourth: We retreated to hide. It was intense again. You made me remember. A reflection of 2. I wasn't ready. I did all the things I told myself not to. But here you were. And here I am. I sought you. And it made you run away. My darkness met your darkness and we faded. Twisted awkwardness. You had none to tell. I had no more to ask.

 

You gave me. And I asked for more. And that was the lesson I should've learned. I am not yours. You were never mine. Never mind. 

[Cookieeee Monster]

Why so familiar? I’ve been thru almost the same experience! Jia you my friend.

[GachiMuchi]

It seems, he is your type and you are just so keen to offer yourself and to please him and you look forward to have fun with him. 

But unfortunately, he is not really into you, most probably treating you as a sexual release. 

 

Sometimes, you need to clear any thoughts that you are anything but just a release and nothing more. 

Stop daydreaming that it will develop into something more.

 

Treat it like 2 adults having consensual sex enjoying each other's bodies and nothing more.

Just enjoy the time and go about your other things instead of being hopeful just to be disappointed with too much daydreaming.

 

不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有！

[AnglesnDemons]

Thanks Gachi. Trying to stay in the moment about all of it was always the goal. But it's also impossible to separate having an emotion from it.

[GachiMuchi]

  On 10/1/2023 at 4:38 PM, AnglesnDemons said:

The first time: quick, furtive, intense, it tasted thick, you left salt on my skin and a desire for more, it felt messy and I felt messy after. You planted a flag in my mind. 

 

Second: it took you a year. I tried my best. You were not ready. I was too keen maybe. Then it finally happened. You were more grown up. More together.  And when we met. Just open. Uninhibited. Perhaps I was again too keen. You gave me something I never had before. I will never forget it. You are unforgettable.

 

Third: reunion. It was like a first. It was a blur. A rush. Lust. But tender. Anticipated but familiar. Awkward but needed. You gave me something different. Loving. Almost. But never could be loving. We agreed not to love.

 

Fourth: We retreated to hide. It was intense again. You made me remember. A reflection of 2. I wasn't ready. I did all the things I told myself not to. But here you were. And here I am. I sought you. And it made you run away. My darkness met your darkness and we faded. Twisted awkwardness. You had none to tell. I had no more to ask.

 

You gave me. And I asked for more. And that was the lesson I should've learned. I am not yours. You were never mine. Never mind. 

Expand  

 

The signs were there, deep down inside you knew, but you chose to ignore. Too invested in your own dream that it will become something.

 

Don't waste time on people who don't treats you the way you treated them. It's not worth the heartache. 

Tell yourself that he don't deserve you not the other way around.

 

[IkuTube]

  On 10/1/2023 at 4:38 PM, AnglesnDemons said:

The first time: quick, furtive, intense, it tasted thick, you left salt on my skin and a desire for more, it felt messy and I felt messy after. You planted a flag in my mind. 

 

Second: it took you a year. I tried my best. You were not ready. I was too keen maybe. Then it finally happened. You were more grown up. More together.  And when we met. Just open. Uninhibited. Perhaps I was again too keen. You gave me something I never had before. I will never forget it. You are unforgettable.

 

Third: reunion. It was like a first. It was a blur. A rush. Lust. But tender. Anticipated but familiar. Awkward but needed. You gave me something different. Loving. Almost. But never could be loving. We agreed not to love.

 

Fourth: We retreated to hide. It was intense again. You made me remember. A reflection of 2. I wasn't ready. I did all the things I told myself not to. But here you were. And here I am. I sought you. And it made you run away. My darkness met your darkness and we faded. Twisted awkwardness. You had none to tell. I had no more to ask.

 

You gave me. And I asked for more. And that was the lesson I should've learned. I am not yours. You were never mine. Never mind. 

Expand  

 

Take it, as you look back, as a healing session for you - mentally and emotionally.  Sex, to me, is healthy when we minus off all the bad associations with it.  When we take responsibility on the action and not blaming the other party, we create the acceptance of who we are.  Don't let others judge and define you (us).

 

However, at some point in life, it is also good to reflect upon our actions.  Whether those actions are good for our well being and the well being of others.  Take the courage to share those feelings.  They (usually) set us free.

 

All the best to you moving forward, @AnglesnDemons.

 

 

[yhtang]

  On 10/1/2023 at 4:38 PM, AnglesnDemons said:

The first time: quick, furtive, intense, it tasted thick, you left salt on my skin and a desire for more, it felt messy and I felt messy after. You planted a flag in my mind. 

 

Second: it took you a year. I tried my best. You were not ready. I was too keen maybe. Then it finally happened. You were more grown up. More together.  And when we met. Just open. Uninhibited. Perhaps I was again too keen. You gave me something I never had before. I will never forget it. You are unforgettable.

 

Third: reunion. It was like a first. It was a blur. A rush. Lust. But tender. Anticipated but familiar. Awkward but needed. You gave me something different. Loving. Almost. But never could be loving. We agreed not to love.

 

Fourth: We retreated to hide. It was intense again. You made me remember. A reflection of 2. I wasn't ready. I did all the things I told myself not to. But here you were. And here I am. I sought you. And it made you run away. My darkness met your darkness and we faded. Twisted awkwardness. You had none to tell. I had no more to ask.

 

You gave me. And I asked for more. And that was the lesson I should've learned. I am not yours. You were never mine. Never mind. 

Expand  

 

I think you would not be the first person to have this experience, nor will you be the last.  Yes, I too faced something similar. 

 

I think you must have done a lot of thinking and analysing to present your experience in such a succinct manner.  I hope writing this has helped you heal somewhat - I hope it was a lot of healing.  I wish you the best, and may your next relationship be a better and a more fruitful one. 

[AnglesnDemons]

  On 10/2/2023 at 3:11 PM, yhtang said:

 

I think you would not be the first person to have this experience, nor will you be the last.  Yes, I too faced something similar. 

 

I think you must have done a lot of thinking and analysing to present your experience in such a succinct manner.  I hope writing this has helped you heal somewhat - I hope it was a lot of healing.  I wish you the best, and may your next relationship be a better and a more fruitful one. 

Expand  

Thanks. It probably isn't healing. But I needed to get it off the chest to move on. Don't really think I could call it a relationship. But since it's over I can only move on.

[AnglesnDemons]

You came into my life on a wave of photos. Sexts. You were forward. Fast. Demanding in your desire, lustful in your responses. You left as unceremoniously. With a block. And no explanation. Was it the mole? The length? The hair? The chair? Only you know. Your cowardice hiding our secret second. It's gone.