A Forum For Me

[Guest Guest_Shaberu]

Always tot BW is a forum for me to air my view (or pressure if you called it) but recent inccidents seem it is not where i belong. Many "shifei!" We write just to talk (release pressure) and we answer the truth thru' our own experience (may be you are a victim yourself). If you are keen, look for the song call "来时岁月", just where we come from and who we are? We may know where we come from but we do not know who we are and vice versa.

[biguy]

Guest_Shaberu, understood how you feel, but frankly, you need to adjust yourself as in this world, nothing is prefect, you cant expect everything go as what you like, that's how you learnt & grow, that's what life.

Not all memebers hate Guests & don't welcome them, don't forget so do Mod, that's why you still can post here & air your view right? As a PLU already tough, why need to make thing more hard by attacking each other?

I like peace & a simple guy, hope can be as frank as possible, however normally this type of person will get neglected & get misunderstood, people will normally like to take advantage of, no matter what, i always believe one day my voice can hear by GOD.

Guest_Shaberu, what i want to say is don't be discourage, be yourself, i won't want to blindfold myself & lost my direction in order to have more friends, even i am the only one in this world, i won't lose my faith & i will follow my heart, remember you not the only one, be strong, maybe someday someone true is there for you :thumb:

[harylok]

Shaberu,

Firstly, you already have a registered account "Shaberu" . Why are you still using Guest_Shaberu?

Previously, You started a topic called "我看见寂寞从我的窗前走过"

Some had given you positive advices and encouragement. What have you ponder thereafter? In the end, you just said "…..Sorry I can't clear the mess but will make it less messy."

The last time, I read you as a pessimistic guy and you admitted. Now, I feel that you are kind of pathetic because you choose to lock yourself up in the closet - ”自我封锁".

You know what, I don't really give a dam where we come from and where we going to go eventually. But one thing for sure, I do know "Who Am I" cos' I choose to face the challenge of life and enjoy every bit of it, be it happy or sorrow, the more obstacles I clear, the tougher I become.

I don’t even know if you understand your root problem, and now you start another Pilo story. So, in what ground, you want us to try to understand "来时岁月"?? To be frank, I doubt that you can interpret it correctly yourself.

Members with sensible mind here are trying to help you. So, please don’t waste their effort (including mine).

Hary

( …今天谁是”盲聋”???)

“我知道你听不到我的歌声你也看不到这世界

也许你不了解有多少愿意关怀你的人们

或许你早已适应了黑暗的生存

或许你不愿接受同情的滋润 "

---------来自庸俗的人

“有人因为失去了生命而得到了不灭的永恒

有人为了生存而出卖了他们可贵的灵魂

心中深处的天平上你的欲望与真理在斗争

曾经一度自许聪明的你”

----------是个迷惑的人

[biguy]

harylok, if a person that " lock " himself up for long, is quite difficult to expect they can open themself that fast, just give him time to loosen himself, we just can enlighten him by words, but at the end still need himself to overcome it.

Haha, never realize he is one of the member too, thought he is a Guest here

[kerbee10]

Shaberu,

I have been reading your threads, very negatives and pessimistic...What Harylok said is true...

I feel that you are not being yourself, you seem to already accept or to get use such kind of emotional feelings of being negatives...Life is Dam short, you should not spend so much time on what had happened on you and causes to be like that, you got to wake up and walk on.

IE, you need a key to start a car, you need a driver to drive the car, you need wheels to move the car, you need petrol for the car. Now, from what I perceive you, you had a car, but you do not have license to drive, as you fail to pass one. Now I do not know what the mess you in, its a test for you, the faster you pass this test, the faster you start to drive car.

This is a interactive forum, you sure will get gossiping around, but why do you bother by what is said to you, you know what you are. I am here to share my concern to you, be it my approach is sacastic or soft, I am acting as a virtual friend here, to give you some hint to pass your license.

We all experiences different kind of problems in life, your life and others are different, its how you define your own life to be, if you want it to be simple, then you the Artist of your illustration, make it simple, if you want it to be sorrow, then paint it sorrow. Its not up to you to say how good or bad you are, but its the people around that judge you, however, you should be much contended that you are much lucky to many people who are born much less fortunate then you.

Commo man, go pass your license and drive you car around, there are many scenery around for you to explore in life, we man, always waste time, but in actual fact, time do not wait for anyone.

:thumb:

[biguy]

KB, Shaberu even without pass his driving license, he still can has a chauffeur driven limousine or MRT, taxi to take him everywhere. Just that he forever won't know the real fun & how feel like by driving the car himself, he forever just sit beside the driver & let others to bring him here & there.

Only he can open & unlock himself, no body owe him anything, if he still can't grow up by himself, then we can't do anything too, he is mature enough, we won't need to spoon feed him, if he won't want to change his attitude towards life but keep put all blames to fates, to be honest, don't think we need to give him positive advice to encourage him anymore, think is more than enough, just let him be what he want.

[harylok]

IE, you need a key to start a car, you need a driver to drive the car, you need wheels to move the car, you need petrol for the car. Now, from what I perceive you, you had a car, but you do not have license to drive, as you fail to pass one. Now I do not know what the mess you in, its a test for you, the faster you pass this test, the faster you start to drive car.

KB,

That's a good example - "License to drive a car"

Hopefully, our 用心良苦 and 软硬兼施 can help to "Wake" up our Dear Shaberu, and ease his "pain".

Warmth Regards,

Hary

.. Some ppl got lost and found their way back

.. Some ppl got lost forever and never be found

.. Some ppl got lost and found the wrong path and become more lost

.. Some ppl do not even know they got lost

[Guest Guest]

Well, I tot i dun wish to write anymore. Just for my frenz here and not forgetting GM and OB (you know who you are). It takes time to heal right? I wanted to write the song for OB relating to his post but his post was deleted, so fast huh! Don't wait, go ahead but not too fast. Juz be sure and move on. I myself is a P's victim. What the hell P is? Don't guess, be sure. The clue is P is what we called him not by his name. I am not interested in what your P is. Hope there is a thread like "Can gay become homophobia?" Why? I hate being look at (too slef-conscious), I am not urgly but for those who says average looking is what you know?

我看见他 在回家的路上

熟悉的模样 好像纯真无邪的过往

他的书包 背上小小肩膀 也背上期望、成长

还有那茫然未知的去向

岁月记不起来的路 我愈走 身后愈模糊

时光转接如此匆促 恍惚之间一切改变

从不知道 成长不堪回顾 年少的痴狂、渴望

究竟实现了几样

从不知道 成长的轻狂 像一只风筝飘荡

飘向一个不知名的地方

我看见他回家的路上

多希望我的家 也能有一盏灯为我点亮

往事风霜 留在我的脸上

为什么长大以后 不能够再像个孩子一样

我想起家 想起年少梦想 想起了时光遗忘

还有些幽幽淡淡的感伤

[Guest Guest_Shaberu]

Haha, supposed to sign in. Too lazy lah!

[kerbee10]

Biguy, your post very no patient at all...contradicting also...yes we do not own him anything, neither does we need to bother him, if you do not bother,you should not even start writing at the very first time, and come out with the second time, its shows that you bother abit......

Sherabu,

is this some kind of the riddle...P...hey man, I do not care what P or F,or U, or C, or K is....like what you say..you are not interested in what our P is ...then why are you interested in what people look at you....

There is a bell, you need to kncok the bell to give you the ring....first of all...you know its a bell, but you sure knows when you knock it you will hear a ring, but what kind of ring sound will you hear, if you do not knock on it...you be what you think you are, you be sad if you want yourself to feel sad, you be happy, if you want yourself to be happy....

Yes it takes time to heal, but you know there are ways to heal your wounds faster, each fall makes an individual stronger each time, you will sure fall from the rock climbing up a mountain, but there is always satisfaction when you reach the top.

least of all..you sign in with a more optimistic as "Haha"...you need to write more haha..or hehe in your thread...songs are made to spurr your feelings, prehaps extract some happy songs.....

[VOCE]

it is difficult to change a person's character from negative and pessimistic to positive and optimistic. he is born like that. what for u want to change him? let him be what he is. the world is made up by positive and negative. The only we can help him here is give some comforting words when he is at his depressed moment.

i am also a negative and pessimistic person. everytime i face problem, i feel depressed and lock myself from the rest of the world. Lot of friends try to give advice to me and change my thinking. but i just listen and then left ear in and right ear out. But inside my heart, i somehow have the ability to drive away my own depressed thinking the next day. i believe everyone will have this basic "surviving ability". So next time when my other friends feel depressed, i will just give very little but important words to enlighten him. Not to teach him what to do by given him some long and naggy "theory". I believe he will think about it after that if the words is short and sharp.

But for Shaberu case, i am not sure. Cos i don't know him. I don't know his character, I don't know what kinda aproach will help for him, so there is no much advice i can give. But i sincerely hope that he can be what he want to be one of this day. Happy.

[harylok]

VOCE,

I must say "NO" to many statements made by you.

VOCE said "it is difficult to change a person's character from negative and pessimistic to positive and optimistic. he is born like that."

NO to your “he is born like that”. Human-being does not born with pessimistic nature. The change of character can be due to environmental, family upbringing, social pressure, unpleasant personal experiences, physical disability, bad influences, bad luck, lack of confidence etc.

VOCE said " what for u want to change him? "

NO, we have no intention to change him (everyone knows it can’t happen overnight); we merely gave advices and encouragement so that he may see some lights of hope.

VOCE said "The only we can help him here is give some comforting words when he is at his depressed moment."

NO, comforting words is just like Panado. It's not a long term solution and hence, does not resolve the root problem.

NO to your "The only we can help him …. “ Comforting words does not necessary works on every “P” person. So, don’t assume “The only”.

What sort of comforting words you are talking about? (i.e. don’t worry lah, don't think so much lah, be happy lah, tomorrow will be better lah, look at the brighter side ...). If these are what you meant by comforting words, then I treat all these are unrealistic encouragement.

If you really want to help a person, be a good listener, try to understand his problems, analyze the situation, think of options that can possibly help him out.

VOCE said "i am also a negative and pessimistic person. every time i face problem, i feel depressed and lock myself from the rest of the world."

"YOU" are a light-weight boxer fighting against a heavy-weight opponent named "Darkness in ME” " in the ring of life. Unfortunately, YOU always get knock out by YOURSELF in the end and ever since.

My advice to you "Help yourself 1st before you can really help others (esp. those under the P category)".

You are pessimistic doesn’t mean you can handle another pessimistic person better.

Unknowingly, you may even send out some wrong messages.

VOCE said "Not to teach him what to do by given him some long and naggy "theory".

NO. It is a very unfair comment.

Which thread are you referring to? Point it out and challenge whoever wrote it. However, if you have difficulty in understanding what you proclaimed as "theory" (esp. from those I had posted). I am most willing to interpret and enlighten to you the true meaning in it.

I feel that your statement will be convincing if you have already overcome your problem.

VOCE said "I believe he will think about it after that if the words is short and sharp."

NO. We can only think and hope for now as the P guy chooses to remain silence.

VOICE said "But for Shaberu case, i am not sure. Cos i don't know him. I don't know his character, I don't know what kinda aproach will help for him"

NO. I disagree with your 'Nothing much I can do about it" attitude.

There are 1 "not sure" and 3 "don't know" in your sentences.

I don't know Shaberu either. But I attempted to help. 1st, I invited him to PM me for discussion. 2nd, I talked to him over the phone and tried to understand his problems better, 3rd. I wrote to him some mails and hope he stays positive. This was what I had done to a stranger (a virtual friend). Though, this is no a big deal, but at least, I sincerely put in some effort.

Hary

* .. 自悟 or 自误??? The choice is yours

[kerbee10]

I think the theroy refers to the example I quoted above, not saying you(harylok) big theoretical anaylsis...

Voce, I did chat with you in the chatroom last time, and I did told you about some positive attitude one can adopt, Its only words that come from me, but if you can adopt 10-20% of it, you are actually moving to positive attitude.

First point, I do agreed what harylok say, human are born with nothing, no clothings, no knowledge, no understanding of emotion, and not even know how to talk. In life we need guidence, we need people around to teach us, to light up our knowledge as we goes along. Likewise your parents upbringing, give you the basic fundamentals in life, and its YOU, who start to use the basic to get more advance handlings in situation in life. Characters is just the surface of a human being, the more indepth part is an individual personality, you may have similar personilty triats of your parents, but how to create your own personality comes greatly from the environment you roam in.

I do not even know, what sherabu problems are, but I am just giving some push effect for him to start pushing himself. Ie, you can't hold on a pull up bar for long, you need to release it so that you can have a relieve in your musscle tension.

No one is born perfect, no one is smooth sailing in life, no one can be happy forever, but we should be grateful that we are given this life and the only life, to explore what is called happiness for our ownself. People around us, just act as an influencer to us, giving us vocal and gesture influencing, but the end of the day, the choices come from us. Its not easy to lead a happy life, but its also not so difficult to stay positive in life.

I believe sherabu, has his ways to overcome his own problems, it takes time for him to find a good route. Human create problems for humans to solve, there may not be the ideal solution for a problem, but you should know what is the best solution which can compromise your problems.

So I think we will hear from the CHANGE sherabu in the upcoming thread.

:thumb:

[Guest Guest]

Wow ... harylk, u have not met shaberu yet you have done so much extra things for him :thumb: , But he is still here expressing his depression leh, that mean the method and effort (or the strategic) u used is not working for him lah.

What he need is a painkiller, not an antiseptic.

[biguy]

Wow ... harylk, u have not met shaberu yet you have done so much extra things for him :thumb: , But he is still here expressing his depression leh, that mean the method and effort (or the strategic) u used is not working for him lah.

What he need is a painkiller, not an antiseptic.

Guest, what you think may right, but no point to assume something, i believe harylok really want to try his very best to do what he can, whether is he a painkiller or antiseptic is not decide by you, only Shaberu.

Don't think is fair to make this unfair remark to both of them, most of us want Shaberu to walk out from the dark, but when or will he is another story, most people here won't give up that easily without giving a try, so will you too,Shaberu?

[harylok]

I summarized what I had said “.... I attempted to help” “ ...and hope he stays positive” and ”I sincerely put in some effort ....”

So, Dear Guest, please don’t assume that you know what is the “Method” and the “End Results”.

biguy said “ ..most people here won't give up that easily without giving a try”.

Hence, nobody can help him further, until he makes the very 1st move. That’s my stand.

I also do not wish to think that he feels this way as quoted in my previous post.

“Shaberu听不到我的歌声你也看不到这世界

也许Shaberu不了解有多少愿意关怀你的人们

或许Shaberu早已适应了黑暗的生存

或许Shaberu不愿接受同情的滋润 "

---------来自庸俗的人

Whether he’s still feeling depressed or not? To be frank, I don’t know cos’ my impression is that he’s rather protective and reserved when I last voice-chat to him

But seriously, I hope that he does not take us for a ride?!

Nevertheless, my door is always open ...…

Hary

[Guest Guest_shaberu]

Hary,

Thanks for your kind intention and i assure you that i do not take you or anybody for a ride. One thing i want to remind you is that PM is private message.

In fact, i do agree with VOCE's basic "surviving ability", I do have it. I write here just to talk but mostly listen. I do admit that my writing is pessimistic and I also realised that i got a certain recurring parttern that i want to change.

Let's put it this way, i travelled a long journey and needed a rest. My friends keep calling "let's keep going". I am just too tired to move on. I may sound pessimistic but i am a strong athlele. No matter how tough the terrain is, i will complete the distance without taking a short-cut. Even i have to walk, i will still walk to the finishing line. Frankly, i actually feel very paisei writing here.

[kerbee10]

Running alone is boring.....you got many people here to run with you....

Keep it up.....

:thumb:

[skylancer]

Let's put it this way, i travelled a long journey and needed a rest. My friends keep calling "let's keep going". I am just too tired to move on. I may sound pessimistic but i am a strong athlele. No matter how tough the terrain is, i will complete the distance without taking a short-cut. Even i have to walk, i will still walk to the finishing line. Frankly, i actually feel very paisei writing here.

Dear Guest_shaberu, wat is so paisei about? hmm even we dont know each other well, but we still can be you listening friends and aid you if you really into trouble. Anyway, thanks. But next time dont be so paisei. Hah