Married men, does your partner know?

[Sirgamet4]

What the title says. 

 

Yeah, so story time. I've always been sorta bi-curious since I was in my teens. I've jacked off to shemales and twinks before and sometimes it does turn me on more to see a cute dick attached to a gorgeous body. 

 

But ever since I've gotten married, I've been trying hard to keep it a secret. I notice myself more on this site. Hoping someone would dm me, wanting to meet up. But at the same time, chatting up with BW members scares me.

 

Is any other married men going through the same thing? How do you keep the skeletons in the closet? 

 

Sorry, just needed to lepas this off my chest. 

[Kentazmania]

well bro. based on the event that u have mention. i can tell u that u dont need to think so much about it. remember 1 thing your spouse will never think about it as all she think is it just a guy a normal guy u are chatting with or even meeting up with and they wont have the suspicion of u meeting out with another girl for scandal. i am in the same situation u are in but ya u can asked your spouse to see if u are with a male friend whom assuming that you are colleagues from the same company or friends from school. 

things happens in the closet and not in the out like a woman u are going to scandal with. just relax and remain calm only.

[milodinosaur91]

Yeah can understand how u feel

[Kentazmania]

there no need to be scared of chatting with us or meeting up with us here in BW even. We are all human from all sorts of life and all of us are discreet in real life. so just be yourself and be open to explore yourself. but always remember play safe and be safe. 

[MasterFitMalaySG4U]

Even if meet or chat with married ones or anyone here that doesn't mean they are discreet haha or not toxic or good in sex haha some even scared of outdoors haha 

 

Daring adventurous not overthinking just purely want the curiosity experience step forward haha 

[cbm]

There's an old post years ago about a wife who digged into her husband's computer and found that the husband has been chatting (and maybe doing naughty things) with men on this forum. The wife was pissed.

 

If you want to do it, don't get caught. If the potential repercussions of getting caught is too much for you, don't do it.

 

For myself, I tend to be less keen meeting married men. Not because they're married. But because they can only meet at ungodly, inconvenient times.

[DecentBasicGuy]

I can relate to ts dilemma..im in the same position too..difference in preference..beautiful butts turn me on so much but too afraid of the risk to actually do something. U r definitely nt alone..🥺

[IcarusCQC]

Same here. The risks really do out weight the benefits here so I am extremely hesitant to do anything about it. Not that unique a story here also.

[egal]

even if she knew, she might tolerate it for awhile, till 

[Kentazmania]

its very difficult for a women to understand and think like a man does. let ask u this few questions when u talk to man and a women.

For men chatting with a Women standard of chatting 

1. how are you 

2. what are u doing 

3. have u eaten 

4. what u wearing 

5. are u horny 

6. how i wish i was there with you.

 

For men chatting with men standard of chatting 

1. yo bro what up

2. what ya doing now in office or work

3. wanna grab lunch together 

4. wanna hit the gym after work or dinner 

5. how's the family 

5. wanna go for a drink / coffee to catch up 

[doncoin]

The reality, you are not going to change who you are in terms of your bisexuality. So the question becomes how are you going to manage it with regards to your heteronormative marriage? Suppression, with tons of case studies to back up, will only make the situation worse for you and the people around you. By hiding who you are, and making a secret out of it, is sending the message that you are ashamed of your bisexuality and who you are. Shame only leads to guilt. 

 

If you want to live the rest of your life in shame, keep quiet and hide. If you choose to live in the light, you have to tell your wife, and let her choose her response. She has the right to know. Worst case, you get a divorce, but at least by then, you are no longer living in shame. 

[apassingman]

A buddy from NS has been married to his wife for 15 years. A little backstory: He got her pregnant when they were still studying in poly, so it became a very rushed process to get married and such. My buddy while never explicitly came out as bisexual, he did tell us back in BMT that he found certain men appealing though not in a purely admiring sense. One year, he met up for a round of drinks, and confessed that he had actually found someone on a gay dating app. Of course, we were like WTF bro, what about your wife blah blah blah. He simply said that the guy was also shotgun married like him, and they had a lot of fun chatting and planned to meet up for real sometime. And when they finally did, it was in Hong Kong. The guy had been stationed there, but his wife and kids remained in Singapore for practical reasons. My buddy must have done good in his past life or something, because his boss around the same time had sent him abroad for a seminar cum client meet. He flew to Taipei, stayed for a couple of days before taking a plane to Hong Kong, and found the time to meet up with the guy. They did what they had wanted to do with each other. Since then, they have always arranged their rendezvous in that manner. It all depends on what you are looking for. If it is pure brotherhood, sure, just come clean and tell your wife about hanging out with some buddies at the kopitiam or something and you would be back late. If it is sexual needs, you better pray fervently to your god and hopefully, nobody else besides your wife finds out about your secret.

[HC-B]

Married men who are bi or bicurious need to know and be aware that the biological female has a different sense of smell and taste.

 

And they can sometimes be more acute than a biological male’s.

 

So for the bi/curious male, already married to a biological female, who has sex with another biological male—either touching, caressing, fingering, sucking, kissing, licking, rimming, cuddling, or fucking—the male scent, smell, and hormone, even if physical contact (be it totally naked or clothed) is very occasional or of an extended cadence, is going to stay on the tongue, lips, inside the mouth, even inside the nostrils, down the throat, on and underneath folds of skin.

 

The bodily fluids, smells, and traces are going to mark each person’s body.

 

They waft out and leave trails and give the game away.

 

And that’s how, eventually, the partner or wife knows…

Edited Saturday at 12:47 AM by HC-B

[Aniki]

I think it's all in our bi mindset.

You can be happily married and have kids. That's just one life you are living.

On the other hand, you can also be happy in the company of guys.

Don't think you need to feel shameful either ways.

You are just built that way.

Some of the folks on this site are  assuming you are not being true to yourself and living in shame, which is their interpretation.

I don't buy that.

 

[radiusulnar]

7 hours ago, HC-B said:

They waft out and leave trails and give the game away

 

That must take a super keen sense of smell. Almost canine level

[yhtang]

9 hours ago, HC-B said:

Married men who are bi or bicurious need to know and be aware that the biological female has a different sense of smell and taste.

 

And they can sometimes be more acute than a biological male’s.

 

So for the bi/curious male, already married to a biological female, who has sex with another biological male—either touching, caressing, fingering, sucking, kissing, licking, rimming, cuddling, or fucking—the male scent, smell, and hormone, even if physical contact (be it totally naked or clothed) is very occasional or of an extended cadence, is going to stay on the tongue, lips, inside the mouth, even inside the nostrils, down the throat, on and underneath folds of skin.

 

The bodily fluids, smells, and traces are going to mark each person’s body.

 

They waft out and leave trails and give the game away.

 

And that’s how, eventually, the partner or wife knows…

 

After having fun outside, it is not wise to use their soap when showering after the act.  Their soap will not smell like the soap used at home, so that new soap smell will be a giveaway to the wife at home.  

 

 

[TC24]

On 6/9/2025 at 1:28 PM, Sirgamet4 said:

What the title says. 

 

Yeah, so story time. I've always been sorta bi-curious since I was in my teens. I've jacked off to shemales and twinks before and sometimes it does turn me on more to see a cute dick attached to a gorgeous body. 

 

But ever since I've gotten married, I've been trying hard to keep it a secret. I notice myself more on this site. Hoping someone would dm me, wanting to meet up. But at the same time, chatting up with BW members scares me.

 

Is any other married men going through the same thing? How do you keep the skeletons in the closet? 

 

Sorry, just needed to lepas this off my chest. 

.

Edited 14 hours ago by TC24

[Steve5380]

On 6/9/2025 at 12:28 AM, Sirgamet4 said:

What the title says. 

 

Yeah, so story time. I've always been sorta bi-curious since I was in my teens. I've jacked off to shemales and twinks before and sometimes it does turn me on more to see a cute dick attached to a gorgeous body. 

 

But ever since I've gotten married, I've been trying hard to keep it a secret. I notice myself more on this site. Hoping someone would dm me, wanting to meet up. But at the same time, chatting up with BW members scares me.

 

Is any other married men going through the same thing? How do you keep the skeletons in the closet? 

 

Sorry, just needed to lepas this off my chest. 

 

I was in your situation for 13 years.  This is how long I was married.  The way I coped with it was by having a little intimacy with my wife but suppressing my gay nature.  It worked because I was very involved and busy with my professional life.  And I had children which contributed to my married life. 

 

Later in life, my partner, the love of my life, knew that I was a married man... and a divorced man, ha ha.  We had a somewhat open relationship but my openness only happened away from home,  in my "sex tourism".  And his openness... I never learned of it.    After my divorce, at 49 y.o. and before I met my bf  I was active in the gay scene, and I feel that I have made up for all what I "missed?"  earlier in life    ( my divorce had nothing to do with any sexual discovery )

 

So my position here is:  It is worth to exercise restraint to avoid jeopardizing a marriage that is quite acceptable.  Instead, we should put our energies in staying in good shape through a healthy lifestyle,  and then,  a time may come when we can be free to follow our sexual orientation, whatever this is.

[radiusulnar]

On 6/14/2025 at 5:53 PM, yhtang said:

Their soap will not smell like the soap used at home,

 

Different soap smell can be from gym, swimming pool, end of journey facility...

[ziurtis]

On 6/14/2025 at 3:41 PM, Aniki said:

I think it's all in our bi mindset.

You can be happily married and have kids. That's just one life you are living.

On the other hand, you can also be happy in the company of guys.

Don't think you need to feel shameful either ways.

You are just built that way.

Some of the folks on this site are  assuming you are not being true to yourself and living in shame, which is their interpretation.

I don't buy that.

 

agreed. one can be attracted to both men and women physically and emotionally. Some people think bi people are gays in denial. I find both genders physically attractive in their own ways. I married my wife because she is also someone I can see myself growing old with. However, i still don’t encourage people who marry the opposite gender to fulfill societal expectations. It’s not fair to all parties involved. 

[yhtang]

11 hours ago, radiusulnar said:

 

Different soap smell can be from gym, swimming pool, end of journey facility...

 

Agreed, soaps smelling different from the one at home can come from the gym.  So, if someone comes home smelling of a different soap scent, he had better be ready with a plausible explanation should the wife ever enquire. 

 

[IcarusCQC]

I guess you bring your own soap. You'll smell the same, always.