absboy Posted April 11 Posted April 11 (edited) Will you lower your expectations when finding others for LTR or ONS if you knew you are not good looking yourself? Edited April 13 by absboy Quote
doncoin Posted April 11 Posted April 11 It's not really about looks. It comes to how confident you feel about yourself. If you think you not worthy, then you are not worthy. If you think you can do better, than you definitely can do better. The thing is not lowering your expectations, but be realistic about people. Nobody is perfect. Every person has their flaws from your perspective. It is figuring out what you draw the line. If you can manage your own expectations, dating will be a lot easier. SmrkF and AgentFit 1 1 Quote Love.
juicyass Posted April 12 Posted April 12 11 hours ago, absboy said: Will you lower your expectations when finding others for LTR or ONS if you knew you are not good looking yourself? There are plenty of not good-looking men (or typically gay men) compensate their shortcoming by hitting the gym, building their own physique into a fit or muscular adonis. This is how a physique can change a person's look completely regardless he is not good-looking. Apparently, these (ugly) men usually have great genetics in bodybuilding and their body turn out to be the best looking (esp their chest or abs) aspect in compensating their bad-look as compared to the handsome men who only rely on their good-look. I've seen plenty of example of not-so-good-looking men , face below average but, mannnnn, their sexy rounded popping chest is every man to die for. Therefore, don't be feeling bad when you are not good-looking. A physical appearance can fade as you age. No matter how good-looking you are, when it reaches to a point of life, you will start to become ugly (wrinkles/sunken cheeks/skinny fat/big belly) all due to not taking care of your body when you were young. But a good physique will never fade with age. It gets sexier as you age even when you are ugly. 😜Do you know most gym fit daddy are not that good-looking? And they are highly sought after in the sauna. Quote
wanton_mee Posted April 12 Posted April 12 i don't quite understand. If you are not good looking, what is there to lower your expectations? You mean you don't expect nice looking one to have LTR/ONS with you? Quote 风没有形状，风骚才有！💋
absboy Posted April 12 Author Posted April 12 53 minutes ago, wanton_mee said: i don't quite understand. If you are not good looking, what is there to lower your expectations? You mean you don't expect nice looking one to have LTR/ONS with you? It means if I'm of grade 5, I shouldn't mind others who are 5 and below even though they might not be my type. Eg. I'm not good looking but I like athletic fit handsome guys but if there is someone is also not good looking and don't have a nice body approaches me, I should be contented and not be choosy. Quote
wanton_mee Posted April 12 Posted April 12 oh hahah ok thanks. be it you are nice looking / fit or not, there are some people just don't like your face. Quote 风没有形状，风骚才有！💋
Balestier Posted April 12 Posted April 12 14 hours ago, absboy said: Will you lower your expectations when finding others for LTR or ONS if you knew you are not good looking yourself? Ltr - no !! Had enough experience to know what i want. ons - already low as long he can turn my dick hard Quote
Balestier Posted April 12 Posted April 12 (edited) 2 hours ago, juicyass said: There are plenty of not good-looking men (or typically gay men) compensate their shortcoming by hitting the gym, building their own physique into a fit or muscular adonis. This is how a physique can change a person's look completely regardless he is not good-looking. Apparently, these (ugly) men usually have great genetics in bodybuilding and their body turn out to be the best looking (esp their chest or abs) aspect in compensating their bad-look as compared to the handsome men who only rely on their good-look. I've seen plenty of example of not-so-good-looking men , face below average but, mannnnn, their sexy rounded popping chest is every man to die for. Therefore, don't be feeling bad when you are not good-looking. A physical appearance can fade as you age. No matter how good-looking you are, when it reaches to a point of life, you will start to become ugly (wrinkles/sunken cheeks/skinny fat/big belly) all due to not taking care of your body when you were young. But a good physique will never fade with age. It gets sexier as you age even when you are ugly. 😜Do you know most gym fit daddy are not that good-looking? And they are highly sought after in the sauna. Looks are so subjective.attractions depends on vibes, chemistry and how yr kkj reacts when both r in intimate positions Edited April 12 by Balestier juicyass 1 Quote
juicyass Posted April 12 Posted April 12 8 minutes ago, Balestier said: Looks are so objective.attractions depends on vibes, chemistry and how yr kkj reacts when both r in intimate positions Exactly, I've had some best sex with average looking men with some belly fat and skinny tops. Well, i don't care about much looks anyway, I am more of a size queen hahahhaah Quote
Balestier Posted April 12 Posted April 12 1 minute ago, juicyass said: Exactly, I've had some best sex with average looking men with some belly fat and skinny tops. Well, i don't care about much looks anyway, I am more of a size queen hahahhaah Yes ... no point of having a good looking dead fish waiting to be served. Quote
cakeman Posted April 12 Posted April 12 Yes. It is the hard truth that I learnt the hard way. Used to be fit and was very choosy/selective, hard reject slightest flaw even if leanfit. Now that I became chub, the hardest lesson was still thinking I can go for leanfit. Men is just visual animals Balestier 1 Quote
Balestier Posted April 12 Posted April 12 3 hours ago, cakeman said: Yes. It is the hard truth that I learnt the hard way. Used to be fit and was very choosy/selective, hard reject slightest flaw even if leanfit. Now that I became chub, the hardest lesson was still thinking I can go for leanfit. Men is just visual animals Yep 报应 juicyass and cakeman 1 1 Quote
absboy Posted April 12 Author Posted April 12 9 hours ago, cakeman said: Yes. It is the hard truth that I learnt the hard way. Used to be fit and was very choosy/selective, hard reject slightest flaw even if leanfit. Now that I became chub, the hardest lesson was still thinking I can go for leanfit. Men is just visual animals So how did you convince yourself to be more accommodating now? What if you still can't stand even though you are willing to try? Quote
cakeman Posted April 12 Posted April 12 24 minutes ago, absboy said: So how did you convince yourself to be more accommodating now? What if you still can't stand even though you are willing to try? After enough rejections, u tend to move down until u got your "range" i guess Quote
AppleEater Posted April 13 Posted April 13 i think this question doesnt just apply to the gay world.... its the same in the heterosexual world. Many a times, one will see so called 'mismatched couples' ... good looking husbands with not so good looking wives and good looking wives with not so good looking husbands... i guess the universal knowledge of differentiating boyfriend material vs husband material had guided many minds to decide on their life partners vs choosing one for ONS. My point is ... one will never know.... beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder but if you didnt try... the two words 'I wish" will be the biggest regret down the road. absboy 1 Quote
ironsquirrel Posted April 13 Posted April 13 (edited) there are many variables to finding an LTR or ONS. If lucky, ur ONS might become an LTR, if both makes the effort and if both happen to be in a 'actively-looking' phase. and speaking of phase. your priorities differ as you age. when you r young and horny u just want sex with any men. then you develop certain favourites; perhaps big dick, hair dick, hairy/hairless men etc... race. MOST IMPORTANTLY, LOVE YOURSELF and UNDERSTAND WHO YOU ARE. From there you'll know your limitations. People are attracted to confidence. No one likes to partner, let alone sit with another person who is full of negativity. people who like you will eventually come and try to court you. just date them once or twice. if dont like, move on. at least you tried. of course dont be a jerk and let the other person left hanging. important is to communicate your feelings. being open is not a sign of weakness. if they like you after the conversation, good, then you can invest more time. how to know? he will still text you after the first date. also set a timeline, perhaps, tell the other person, if he dont like you its okay. if there are no post-date messages after X days. take it as he is no longer interested. move on. dont look down on yourself cause the other person is also finding their right one. share one of your insecurities. they will likely do the same. this will develop trust to which lets the door open to know heart 2 heart topics and conversation both need to develop so that love can be blossom from there through maybe shared experiences. these are just my imo. you do you. but if you dont try, you may not know. dont live a life of regrets. rather do than not. yolo. it works for me because.. im happily attached. took me a loonnnng while but life is a journey. you will understand yourself better through each rejections and failed attempts. dont be discouraged. just goooooo and try. Edited April 13 by ironsquirrel Nivek, absboy and cbm 1 2 Quote
cbm Posted April 13 Posted April 13 LTR: You can't sustain a long term relationship simply on good looks alone. Appearance will change. Age catches up. ONS: People are not so shallow to go for just looks, if you have other redeeming qualities. Be the best version of yourself. What's inside does matter. ironsquirrel 1 Quote
Naveyafluz Posted April 15 Posted April 15 I am already at the lowest grade, can't find anyone lower. No matter what grade we are, i believe all of us will have expectations. Maybe now i want to find someone better looking, but if end up a slightly normal guy is a very good person, probably people can say my expectations have become lower, but actually I am getting a better one out of my expectation. cakeman 1 Quote
cakeman Posted April 15 Posted April 15 31 minutes ago, Naveyafluz said: I am already at the lowest grade, can't find anyone lower. No matter what grade we are, i believe all of us will have expectations. Maybe now i want to find someone better looking, but if end up a slightly normal guy is a very good person, probably people can say my expectations have become lower, but actually I am getting a better one out of my expectation. slightly normal is already "up" grade for me. A very good personality is a bonus Quote
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