I think it's time to move on

[mlychub98]

Hi all, yea it's me again. Probably most of you here in this forum already know me by my username. Created an account and joined this forum almost 2 years ago. 

When i got interested into gay community things just slowly going downhill for me and not working out for me. From straight to becoming gay. I thought by joining the gay community i can easily fit in but apparently it's not. My thoughts thinking that gay guys would seek guys with women body parts or curve body but i was totally wrong. 

 

--My thoughts below--

 

For straight guys most of them like girls with big or average boobs and butts so i thought that gay guys would seek the same or something similar like woman have. But, truth has been spoken and prove that gay guys prefers flat/muscle chest, flat/bubble butts and lean/fit/muscular/skinny type. Which myself don't fit into this criteria at all.

 

--Realisation and Back Normal Things--

 

Ever since i start to forget about this forum and make myself busy with life. Things is going better for me, no regrets and no disappointments to hurt my feelings anymore. My mental state is much better now the moment i start to forget about these things. I wish i could rewind time to the point before i join this gay community and make a decision not to join. I legit feel regret to join this side of the community. I should continue my life journey as a straight man now, life out there is much much better for me. No more insults or harsh words or bodyshaming from gay guys. These are really dark times for me and i should slowly move on from this as this is for my own good health.

 

--Ranting and Disappointments--

 

I have been ghosted, scammed, insulted, scolded and bodyshaming. All that, not just once but multiple times which is quite painful enough for me. Not even a single hookup i got and yes disappointed outcome when initiated the conversation with them. Always end up with "oh, sorry not keen". "No, i prefer bigger size". "You not my type, i prefer more bigger one". "You look cute but i'm not keen, sry". So, honestly i'm tired of this replies and the outcome of it. Like what the f is "you look cute but i'm not keen." What is that even mean?! So, what? How you want me to look like? Ugly or handsome like actor? All i asked for is just a hookup 2-3 hours spend with pleasure, not like i'm going spend the whole life with you or be married with you. Like please..

 

--Conclusion and Advises--

 

I'm here to make a conclusion that i'm done and should stop seeking for gay guys that i have been seeking for. After all these years/months is just full of disappointments, pains, regrets and false hopes. For those avg and chub gay guys out there. If this happens to you too, my advise is to surrender and fall out from this gay community and try to be straight again and also stop stressing yourself. Trust me, your life will feel better after that.

 

--Redeem and Provide Hope--

 

And for those out there that is kind enough to help me fulfill my wishlist or want to redeem themself to show that this side community still have hope. Feel free to drop me a DM. If not, please don't bother and stop hurting me already as i had enough. Don't waste my time with all this not keen bs and discreet bs. I'm tired for real.

 

 

---

Thanks and goodbye.

[ToughGuy]

Dunia PLU banyak tipu helah... Terima jer

[cbm]

Hope you learn to develop some self reflection and awareness and stop with the victim mentality. It's not just about physical appearance. What's on the inside, your personality, your character, matters. 

 

Take good care of yourself. Goodbye.

[mlychub98]

6 hours ago, cbm said:

Hope you learn to develop some self reflection and awareness and stop with the victim mentality. It's not just about physical appearance. What's on the inside, your personality, your character, matters. 

 

Take good care of yourself. Goodbye.

I am developing my self to a better things it takes strong mentality to take in all the pains that i have been through and move on with life. But, i have to disagree the part that you mentioned "It's not just about physical appearance and whats on the inside, personality etc." 

 

So, you are trying to say this gay community don't judge just based on my physical appearance only but by behaviour and personality too? Hmm, correct but what about the times i initiated conversation with them nicely with polite attitude, show pics and they say not keen then proceeds to bodyshaming me and throw harsh words to me. Can't they just say not keen and leave the chat? Now how is that fair? Bcos i encountered multiple times of these. 

 

Please explain how is this fair? So, you wanted to say that they can say bad things to me and have their negative personality towards me but i'm not allow to respond back to them? So, whatever they do is right and whatever i do is wrong? Let them happily insult me and i just keep quiet? Eventhough, they started first. I'm here to share my experiences of what i've been through and also rant out. You need to understand people's feelings too. Don't just see one side only, see both sides.

[cbm]

2 hours ago, mlychub98 said:

I am developing my self to a better things it takes strong mentality to take in all the pains that i have been through and move on with life. But, i have to disagree the part that you mentioned "It's not just about physical appearance and whats on the inside, personality etc." 

 

So, you are trying to say this gay community don't judge just based on my physical appearance only but by behaviour and personality too? Hmm, correct but what about the times i initiated conversation with them nicely with polite attitude, show pics and they say not keen then proceeds to bodyshaming me and throw harsh words to me. Can't they just say not keen and leave the chat? Now how is that fair? Bcos i encountered multiple times of these. 

 

Please explain how is this fair? So, you wanted to say that they can say bad things to me and have their negative personality towards me but i'm not allow to respond back to them? So, whatever they do is right and whatever i do is wrong? Let them happily insult me and i just keep quiet? Eventhough, they started first. I'm here to share my experiences of what i've been through and also rant out. You need to understand people's feelings too. Don't just see one side only, see both sides.

 

I do see both sides actually.

 

You complain about the 'guys you want but they don't want you', Group TheyRejectYou, being shallow towards you.

 

At the same time, I have heard from the 'guys who want you but you don't want them', Group YouRejectThem and you were shallow to them. (Yah, people tell me things.)

 

Just because Group YouRejectThem never rant publicly like you doesn't mean that they didn't get upset by you. You hurt their feelings.

 

If anyone is seeing only one side, it's you. And if you keep thinking yourself as the victim and everyone else has wronged you, nothing will change.

Edited May 1 by cbm

[mlychub98]

4 hours ago, cbm said:

You complain about the 'guys you want but they don't want you', Group TheyRejectYou, being shallow towards you.

If you reject people and not keen, you don't have to be rude or harsh towards him. I'm here ranting bcos the Group "TheyRejectYou" start to be rude first and most of the times end the conversation saying unecessary stuff. You get what my point is?

 

5 hours ago, cbm said:

At the same time, I have heard from the 'guys who want you but you don't want them', Group YouRejectThem and you were shallow to them. (Yah, people tell me things.)

Well, if i were to reject them. I would say something like "i'm sorry, i'm not keen and as for now i'm seeking a specific type. Thanks for the chats and understanding." See. Any insult? Any harsh words? Any bodyshaming? Why can't they end the conversation like this? 90% of them group "TheyRejectYou" will end up saying unecessary things, nasty things that will hurt my feelings. Again you get my point here? Also, which people been telling you? That i'm being rude to them? Again like i said on my previous post, if a person starts insult you and bodyshaming you, you going to keep quiet? You don't know how many unecessary feedback i get from them when i was being nice with them first.

 

5 hours ago, cbm said:

Just because Group YouRejectThem never rant publicly like you doesn't mean that they didn't get upset by you. You hurt their feelings.

I can't really know or tell if they are upset, i mean how would you know? Unless, i reply them in a harsh way then definately they will get upset correct? You are assuming they are upset and i hurt their feelings. Stop pinpointing fingers to me and understand the situation first. Stop assuming things that you don't know or not sure. 

 

5 hours ago, cbm said:

If anyone is seeing only one side, it's you. And if you keep thinking yourself as the victim and everyone else has wronged you, nothing will change.

After what i explained above you keep saying i'm seeing only one side? So, what about the group "TheyRejectYou" throw insults, bodyshaming etc. They have privilege to do that and not getting blame? It's not about thinking myself as a victim but i'm the victim getting insults etc.. bcos it really happened to me so how i'm thinking myself as a victim?

 

And for group "YouRejectThem" they may think themself as a victim. But, do i really hurt them? I think not.

 

So, the main point here is not about "thinking" but it is "actually happened" you need to understand the differences of these two things. Not the same.

[aedirn]

Yeah I think it's best you move on.

The premise of you joining the gay community was wrong assumption in the first place (ie gay like guys with fem body parts). I think you'll have a market with straights who had not had good sex for a while.

[icedrake]

On 4/30/2026 at 2:37 PM, mlychub98 said:

Hi all, yea it's me again. Probably most of you here in this forum already know me by my username. Created an account and joined this forum almost 2 years ago. 

When i got interested into gay community things just slowly going downhill for me and not working out for me. From straight to becoming gay. I thought by joining the gay community i can easily fit in but apparently it's not. My thoughts thinking that gay guys would seek guys with women body parts or curve body but i was totally wrong. 

 

--My thoughts below--

 

For straight guys most of them like girls with big or average boobs and butts so i thought that gay guys would seek the same or something similar like woman have. But, truth has been spoken and prove that gay guys prefers flat/muscle chest, flat/bubble butts and lean/fit/muscular/skinny type. Which myself don't fit into this criteria at all.

 

--Realisation and Back Normal Things--

 

Ever since i start to forget about this forum and make myself busy with life. Things is going better for me, no regrets and no disappointments to hurt my feelings anymore. My mental state is much better now the moment i start to forget about these things. I wish i could rewind time to the point before i join this gay community and make a decision not to join. I legit feel regret to join this side of the community. I should continue my life journey as a straight man now, life out there is much much better for me. No more insults or harsh words or bodyshaming from gay guys. These are really dark times for me and i should slowly move on from this as this is for my own good health.

 

--Ranting and Disappointments--

 

I have been ghosted, scammed, insulted, scolded and bodyshaming. All that, not just once but multiple times which is quite painful enough for me. Not even a single hookup i got and yes disappointed outcome when initiated the conversation with them. Always end up with "oh, sorry not keen". "No, i prefer bigger size". "You not my type, i prefer more bigger one". "You look cute but i'm not keen, sry". So, honestly i'm tired of this replies and the outcome of it. Like what the f is "you look cute but i'm not keen." What is that even mean?! So, what? How you want me to look like? Ugly or handsome like actor? All i asked for is just a hookup 2-3 hours spend with pleasure, not like i'm going spend the whole life with you or be married with you. Like please..

 

--Conclusion and Advises--

 

I'm here to make a conclusion that i'm done and should stop seeking for gay guys that i have been seeking for. After all these years/months is just full of disappointments, pains, regrets and false hopes. For those avg and chub gay guys out there. If this happens to you too, my advise is to surrender and fall out from this gay community and try to be straight again and also stop stressing yourself. Trust me, your life will feel better after that.

 

--Redeem and Provide Hope--

 

And for those out there that is kind enough to help me fulfill my wishlist or want to redeem themself to show that this side community still have hope. Feel free to drop me a DM. If not, please don't bother and stop hurting me already as i had enough. Don't waste my time with all this not keen bs and discreet bs. I'm tired for real.

 

 

---

Thanks and goodbye.

I wish you a good journey moving forward.

[Damienzo]

I have always been told that the gay community is essentially all about appearance and that is why many gays remain single. I think it’s best to come in without any expectations. I joined this forum basically more of exchanging views / opinions and never have the intention that it needs to lead to something. I have managed to find the love of my life outside this forum although no regrets joining this forum. Whatever it is, wish you all the best 

[Zandel]

I rarely comment on posts and saw this and thought i would sympathise.
 

However your expectation for gay guy liking guys with female features are… questionable. Might as well not be gay right, unless they are bi…

 

Secondly I have to research before making my opinion, and upon looking at your activities on this website. You have terrible case of projecting your emotions publicly on a website that only cares for sex.
 

Thirdly your interest for chinese slim with small butts (creepy but ok) is the same as what preference others have. Coming from a chub myself. If you want to get what you want, follow the preference and work on yourself or leave and find another platform that are kinder. 

 

You may also want to work on your social awareness skills, all the best!

[mlychub98]

21 hours ago, aedirn said:

The premise of you joining the gay community was wrong assumption in the first place (ie gay like guys with fem body parts). I think you'll have a market with straights who had not had good sex for a while.

I do agree on this, my thoughts was wrong about this gay side community. As 99% of them prefer guys with no fem body parts. This is from what i've monitored so far. Maybe like you mentioned, go for straight guys that like fem body parts. Sounds like a good suggestion but i think almost all of the straight guys would go for woman and not guys with fem body parts.

 

Reason bcos, in their point of view (for straight guys) they will think it as why go for guys with fem body parts when they can go for woman. If you get what i'm saying.

 

But overall, what you mentioned above i do agree with you. About time someone here explain nicely and provide suggestions instead of trying to argue with me and point fingers to me. Thank you for this. 💚

[mlychub98]

13 hours ago, Zandel said:

Secondly I have to research before making my opinion, and upon looking at your activities on this website. You have terrible case of projecting your emotions publicly on a website that only cares for sex.

You have done your research regarding me on my activity and yes you are correct on this part but you need to understand what really happened before this and what caused this person (which is myself) behaves like this. There must be a backstory or incident happen to this person before he started ranting, misbehaving and shows bad attitude.

 

Example, in movies almost every villain/bad guy have a backstory that causes them to turn bad. But, before that they are a good guy. I'm stating this for example. I hope you understand what i'm trying to explain here.

[radiusulnar]

Life is too short to look back and have regrets over what we did or did not do

Try to look ahead and make better choices from the lessons of the past

Best wishes

[Glyph]

Bad behaviour, reasoned or not, is still bad behaviour. The impulses you get from all that negative feedback can be channeled into better things, and that's something you have control over.

 

Also took the liberty to move your thread into the Members' Lounge, TS.

[Rice60640]

We reject others. Others reject us. That’s how the world works- straight or gay. If everyone is so accepting there will be more polygamy and less single people. Plus the world is so big and so your exposure is so limited compared to the entire population.
 

Others reject you and they are rude. Well, you can’t control their upbringing and their mouth so take it at face value and move on. Yeah it hurts but the longer you dwell the more hurt you feel. Reliving the episode over and over again 

 

Love your whole self. Enjoy your life. Maybe eventually someone right (girl or guy) will come along and see you for the real you and the things you have to offer. If it doesn’t happen? Well, then at least you’ve lived your life on your own terms. You’ve enjoyed it. You done the things you want to do and loved doing it. Who cares whether it is alone or with someone else.  I guess not every pot gets a lid?

 

Live life. Enjoy life. Tomorrow is another day. Live today. Leave the bad things to yesteray. 

[kidster]

Over the years, I have seen and learnt...

 

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Looks can be very subjective. Some think you are cute, others think you act cute. Some compliment one is handsome but others think otherwise as they don't like sharp features. Some only like very short hair and got rejected if your hair is too long for them but not long enough even for your school discipline master to scold you. Sounds ridiculous? Yes and this is how things are.

 

Sexual preference is very personal. While many people like lean and young, there are also markets for chubs, and trans etc... It depends on if you are at the right place, right time. I knew people who are young, cute or good looking or have swim bod which are damn rare also got blocked the moment they show photos on Grindr.

 

In conclusion, you only need to find one whom like you for who you are. Some people took a lifetime to find but still can't find while a few manage to.

 

One big difference betw gays and gals. Gals can be "touched" by your acts of care and thoughtfulness but gays won't. He don't like means he don't like. You fall down the escalator, he also won't help to press the stop button. That's how heartless gays are

 

Hence, don't be too bothered by it. You still have a chance to turn straight but many of us don't. The straight world might be a better place for you. Take it as a blessing in disguise

Edited May 4 by kidster

[cbm]

To people who read this topic and get the impression that the issue is body type, no it's not.

 

I would like to point out that like the TS, I am Malay and I am chubby. And that my regular buddies include cute slim Chinese twinks.

 

I don't target them specifically. It just so happens that they are. Neither are they chub chasers. I avoid chub chasers because I end up feeling like an object to satisfy their fetish. It's not a good feeling being on the receiving end of that. They're preoccupied with their own satisfaction.

 

I have pointed out to TS previously that his issue is because he regards people as objects to be used. Not because of his preference for slim Chinese twinks.

 

TS can believe whatever lies he tells himself. But if he thinks going straight and targeting women the same way will get him success, then he's in for a hard lesson. 

 

[mlychub98]

19 hours ago, kidster said:

One big difference betw gays and gals. Gals can be "touched" by your acts of care and thoughtfulness but gays won't. He don't like means he don't like. You fall down the escalator, he also won't help to press the stop button. That's how heartless gays are

 

Hence, don't be too bothered by it. You still have a chance to turn straight but many of us don't. The straight world might be a better place for you. Take it as a blessing in disguise

That is true, i agree with you on this. Also, thanks for advise. 💚

[mlychub98]

14 hours ago, cbm said:

 

I don't target them specifically. It just so happens that they are. Neither are they chub chasers. I avoid chub chasers because I end up feeling like an object to satisfy their fetish. It's not a good feeling being on the receiving end of that. They're preoccupied with their own satisfaction.

Even if i target them or not. Or treat them like object from your POV. But, still i asked them or initiated the conversation with them nicely first. But, my point is why can't they end the conversation in a nicely manner? Why have to involve bodyshaming, insults etc? 

 

And yes, like one of person's posted above stated there is a difference between girls and guys the way they treat you. I agreed on his statement on this.

 

15 hours ago, cbm said:

 

TS can believe whatever lies he tells himself. But if he thinks going straight and targeting women the same way will get him success, then he's in for a hard lesson. 

Hmm, i wonder what lies i'm telling? when it is actually happened to me. Also, i said i'm going back to normal life (going back straight and no longer seeking gay guys).

 

So, by going back to normal life as a straight guy i will seek woman straightaway? As in quickly hookup with woman? Lol. I have friends that is male and straight but he is not seeking any woman at the moment bcos he wants to focus on study/work and stable income first before flirting with womans or "enjoy" with woman. Doesn't mean i go back normal life as a straight guy means i target woman straightaway, whats wrong with you lol. Womans are more sensitive and fragile, i think almost we all know that.

 

Well, maybe except you. Maybe you don't know that bcos you are gay all the way.

 

15 hours ago, cbm said:

 

I would like to point out that like the TS, I am Malay and I am chubby. And that my regular buddies include cute slim Chinese twinks.

Since you are assuming that i tell lies to myself. What about this sentence from you? I mean you could also tell lies about this right? It could be made up story also, I mean who knows right? So, stop assuming on things you don't know or not sure. Again i need to remind you on this. Stop assuming.