Irish Boy Wants To Help His Malay Bf

[nancyboydublin]

I've been going out with a Malaysian boy for over 3 years now. He's been studying Medicine here in Ireland for 6 years.

But when his dad found out about him being gay he flipped out. We even got a parynership visa for my bf to stay, which is difficult thing to do here.

On a visit to Singapore my bf's dad came and took him back to Malaysia, he wants him to go to Islamic Med school and rehab. His dad took his passport and has him prity might under house arest. He's due to see the religious police on Wednesday.

Does any one have experience of this and what happens, how can I get him back to Ireland. He has a job waiting for him. I miss him so much it hurt.

[Flexagon]

Malaysia is pretty much an islamic country that is run by 2 sets of laws, syriah laws and constitution laws. How these 2 laws intermingle with each other I'm not sure.

In terms of legality issues I recommend you do a search engine on some malaysia law firms. You may like to check out larger and reputable law firms.

If you bf is over 21 I think he is pretty much safe under the malaysia constitution See articles 5 to 12 of Fundamental Liberties

This is another website for reference and law firm contacts Hers the link

So either you go save your bf or you can encourage him to stand up for his human rigthts and liberties which he should be covered under the constitution. Best to action after consultation. But the repercussions may likely have him segregated/disowned by his family.

Hope this helps.

[econium]

That sounds really terrible, Nancyboydublin, and I am very sorry to hear about this ghastly situation. Flexagon has nicely covered the legal aspects for you. Maybe you could give us more background so that we can see the situation better in context. It would appear he has not completed his studies yet if his father wants him to attend an Islamic Medical School, and so he is not really financially independent yet. You have not told us much what your bf thinks, and wants to do. Forgive me and please do not think that I am being judgemental, but wasn't your bf a little passive in leaving Singapore and returning to Malaysia if he really did not want to go? Does he want to return to Ireland at risk of severing all ties with his father and possibly his other relatives? This is the key issue, to my mind.

Provided he is over 21, then his father has no right legally to withhold his passport and no one can prevent him leaving Malaysia if he wants to do so because he has not presumably broken any laws in Malaysia. Besides, he now has the right to legal re-entry to Ireland as your same-sex partner.

So what it really seems to boil down to is what he himself wants to do. Is he prepared to risk completely alienating his family and return to Ireland. Another factor, I suppose, is how close he is to his Medical Finals. If he has only say one year to go, then he could take a years break and get a job so that both of you can afford to pay his tuition fees in the event that his father withdraws financial support. My heart goes out to you, Nancyboydublin, and I can understand how shattered you must feel. Please keep us posted as to how things are going, won't you?

[Baloo]

if the boy is held under Moslem law. I do not think there's a "legal age"

They stone adulterers to death... at any age... let alone homosexual case...

Dude, you are facing very ancient and arcade Asian culture here - Malay Moslem is something totally different from your western liberal style of self determination, fundamental human rights, bla bla bla...

In his context, he has no choice, and no way to run.

If they 'disown him' it's not so simple as in western culture... it's a very very serious thing for them...

hopefully your bf can accept 'disownment' after (only) 6 years of western exposure... but i doubt that very much.

U wanna help him? Find a way to let him know you will be there for him no matter what, and no distance is too great, nor time too long to wait for him... and should his 'rehab' be successful... (lobotomy comes to mind) - you will still love him ...

find strength to do this... and finally, if it comes to that, find strength to move on...

this is not a gay only situation... many many are suffering this plight... caste system in India, for example, is another such shitty thing for us, but you tamper with their eons old tradition... they will fight and kill to keep their ways...

[econium]

Baloo, that is very wise and profound advice you are giving to Nancyboydublin. You are quite right when you highlight the serious consequences of being ostracised by his own community if he returns to Ireland. It will be a very high price to pay, and in the end only the Malay boy can say whether he has the courage and determination to see it through in severing all his roots with his own family and community. In the end only he can make that decision. I feel very sad for both of them.