Family Problems.

[Guest punkerDennis]

Just being curious, did anyone have encountered whereby you wanted to come out of closet to the people

around you, but yet afraid things get screwed up if you does it.

I have a friend, PLU as well. (Lets call him Leo)

Leo discovered himself being attracted to man since young.

But he was at the same time, attracted to women as well lesser.

He kept lying to himself that he is straight,(I doubt lots of us do)

but yet he cannot resist the temptation of attracted to man.

His family is at a very confusion state.

His father is currently at a so-called "waiting for death" status, but

he hopes that he could wait until he's sons to be married, have a stable career, blahblahblah( all those old fashioned thinking lah).

But at the same time, Leo's brother is also a PLU...whom is "SEMI-OUT-OF-CLOSET".

Yet, Leo was afraid that since he know himself is also a bisexual(More attracted to guys), but yet he's worried abt unable to fulfill

his father wish. He loves his family very much.

So how? should Leo be the filial child to listen to what all those "legacy is abt", or the other way round?

Just being curious lah, anyw Leo is a poly student,with no relationships at all.

[Firday]

Leo can't marry now since he dun have a girlfriend, right

so why heavy himself with burden ?

he still young now ....move on with his growing path, along the way he will able to decide the direction. being gay,bi or straight. Time will tell.

[passinthenight]

Leo is still on his journey of finding himself because he is still only young.

I didn't accept myself as gay until I was about 28.

It all takes time and some of us need more time than others.

There is no rush, just enjoy being young. :thumb:

[rotikawin]

But he was at the same time, attracted to women as well lesser.

His father is currently at a so-called "waiting for death" status, but

He loves his family very much.

should Leo be the filial child to listen to what all those "legacy is abt", or the other way round?

anyw Leo is a poly student,with no relationships at all.

Key points here, in order of priority of consideration: Leo is still very young, and he loves his family very much, he's bisexual and single.

My two cents: take time to explore female relationship, since he's Bisexual, he might find someone suitable.

If he want to explore male relationship, no hurry to come out of closet to family, since he's still young, and that it might hurt his family

[lucwind78]

家家有本难念的经.

[doncoin]

Leo can choose to be an obedient son, carry on the family legacy and his father's wishes. He can marry a woman and continue the cycle of making everyone around him happy but himself. He will spend the rest of his life struggling and trying to convince himself that he did the right thing, the honourable thing. He should be happy with his decision and the choice he made.

Every so often he will slip and meet guys for hookups or go to the sauna etc. He will be filled with shame and remorse after that thinking that he has let everyone down. He will try not to do it again but he will fail.

Alternatively, Leo can just be honest about himself and manage the expectations of everyone around him by saying "I am gay. I will not have a girlfriend, get married etc."