This Is Mind Boggling - Am I Being Cock Teased By Str8 Guy?

[Guest clueless]

Can anyone help me out here? I am sure some of you guys are in the exact same position as i am.

I recently befriended this guy through a few acquaintances. These group of friends are all straight and they have the slightest inkling that i am homosexual. Lets just call this new guy M. So M and I were quick to get on as chums, I suppose we have great chemistry and seem to enjoy similar things and even share habits. Even as buddy as we are, we are not the touch and feel types - no arms over shoulders and pat on the backs, stuff like these. Until recently, he placed his hand on my thigh and i had quite the instantaneous hard on. Another bit about this group of guys i hang out with, they are extremely homophobic, to the extent that they would put them down each time they spot one. Okay, anyway, M noticed the tent and we had an awkward moment...that was the beginning of a chain of dilemma inducing events that i cant figure out.

He starts to act really weird, avoiding me in situations when i am alone with him. But when we are in the group, sometimes, he would flirt with me and make suggestive remarks about having sex and stuff...though, there was more snide in it drawing cheap laughter from the group. He would purposely feel my body sometimes like massaging my neck or twist of the nipple sort of actions...depending on how he wants the group to react.

I think he is a really nice guy but i haven't got the slightest clue whats going on in his mind. He weird mannerisms were far from what i was accustomed to 2 months ago. Whats really going on?

[Jefzebel]

After reading this, my mind is boggled. LOL! But you know what? This sounds way to familiar.

I have a colleague at work who knows I"m gay and knows I like him but won't even bother talking to me when others are around. However, if we're in the pantry, just the two of us, he'll start talking to me and is really friendly and really silly. Until, of course, someone else come into the room. And then he'll act like I'm not even there.

The thing with M is that he's ok with you being gay and he wants to be your friend but he also wants to treat you like the other guys. In a way, he's also protecting you against them. He probably doesn't want you to be kicked out the group and/or be discriminated against. Also at the same time, if you can gain your friends' trust and that if you come out to them someday, they'll be more accepting of who you are.

Maybe that's what he's doing. Try not to harbor any loving feelings for this guy though. You'll only get yourself hurt.

Hope I made sense with what I just wrote. Good luck, dear!

[Guest SLC]

Dude don't waste your time with these ppl.

We gays don't like every guy... likewise straight men don't like all women as well.

Don't let ppl cock tease you to reaffirm if they are attractive to gay men.

Egoistic jerks...

[beef4beef]

Can anyone help me out here? I am sure some of you guys are in the exact same position as i am.

I recently befriended this guy through a few acquaintances. These group of friends are all straight and they have the slightest inkling that i am homosexual.

Did you mean to say 'haven't' the slightest inkling?

Yep, sounds like M is a teaser alright. I wouldn't worry about it. Just ignore the reactions. I'd even show a certain level is disinterest ... like for example, hanging out with a few of the other guys more, not reacting to his every joke or remark, etc .... and he'll come knocking on your door again, haha! Try it out.

[Tachyons]

Just be yourself and be friends ... Dont think too much :thumb:

[snowball]

i agree with Tachyons, don't think too much,

unless you are a good & tough player,

prepare to treat this as a bet,

if not, don't start the game,

won't bring you any good.

no matter how nice he is,

better to stay as a friend.

simple is good, don't make it confuse & complicated

Edited April 23, 2010 by snowball

[sfguy123]

Just be yourself and be friends ... Dont think too much :thumb:

totally agree with that :thumb:

[oralb]

i had a different opinion from Jefzebel.

M is still homophobic, in sociology, people would gather for similar traits, M's action in the group suggested he knew you are gay and probably had informed the group about this, the close action and suggestive remarks were to enforce that believe in the group. By doing so, he is seeking more acceptance among the group by using you are as the test subject.

Unlike Jefzebel case where that guy is more friendly in private, M's action whenever both of you were alone hinted that he may still be phobic on being seen too close to you.

Coming back, like other contributors had mentioned, take it easy, treat the whole situation as simply friends, but do be careful of M's advances, he maybe baiting you to draw cheap pranks for the others.

[Guest lo]

It's ok to be friends with homophobic guys who behave so in a group. Just dont become dependent on them as your social group.. you are in for misery if you do, Go and socialise more with others...be they gay or straight. If M acts weird this way, then just ignore him. He'll get the hint. The other contributors are right. Do not develop feelings for him. Just treat him as a friend. If he teases you with the nipple thing again, then tell him that he should try with a woman first, or u will show him how by pinching his nipple in return, and give it a hard yank. Otherwise, threaten to kiss him in front of the others in jest by asking him if he could not find a woman who would let him pinch her tits, u will kiss him instead. Alpha males in a str8 group do threaten to belittle the other males by treating them as the bitch. Say it in a joking way. He'll very soon get the message that you are not taking too much of his nonsense. If he ignores you in private, then so be it... just leave him alone. Shower your attention on others, and move on.

[Guest clueless]

Hi guys,

thank you for all your valuable advices. Today I was thrown in a situation I had least expected, it basically caught me off guard.

The group had suggested to meet for coffee in town and i got to our usual hangout earlier than everyone else. M had arrived early too, just minutes after I did. He joined me at the table though we did not really speak for a bit, there was a little awkward tension going on. I sat facing the establishment but from the corners of my eyes, I could tell that he was studying or observing me. He soon started the conversation, asking if my weekend went alright. About 10 minutes into the chat, all awkwardness was dissipated and we were our usual selves, joking, laughing...bitching even. But unexpectedly, he dropped a question I couldn't comprehend fully at first, I was not even sure if I heard right. He said:, "Hey, would you mind giving me a blow?". That kinda caused a built up in silence for a good 5 minutes or more...I was petrified. I stared at him with disbelief, and replied:, "I think you'll have to go to a hairdressers for that, I haven't got the skills in that department". He laughed...hard. Then he said that I should know what he is referring to.

Our friends arrived just about then, and everything went back to how it was...with all that teasing and jibes. At one point he even pinched me in the buttocks commenting how firm they are. Everyone were cracking up except me.

As I was heading home, I received a sms from him and he asked me if I have considered on his proposition. I have yet to reply him. Weird though, i do admit I am really attracted to him. He is not exactly the best looker around but he has got the most overall package, knows who to dress himself, fit and tone physique, the right height, knows when to put on his glasses and when not to, grins silly, manly voice, smells heavenly, soft but firm touch, strong hands, flawless skin...I think i am smitten...and perhaps in trouble?

[BP-stock]

i had a different opinion from Jefzebel.

M is still homophobic, in sociology, people would gather for similar traits, M's action in the group suggested he knew you are gay and probably had informed the group about this, the close action and suggestive remarks were to enforce that believe in the group. By doing so, he is seeking more acceptance among the group by using you are as the test subject.

Unlike Jefzebel case where that guy is more friendly in private, M's action whenever both of you were alone hinted that he may still be phobic on being seen too close to you.

Coming back, like other contributors had mentioned, take it easy, treat the whole situation as simply friends, but do be careful of M's advances, he maybe baiting you to draw cheap pranks for the others.

I agree with OralB. Your situation is different from that of Jefzebel.

Regarding your recent encounter, my opinion is never accept that proposition. I feel that it is, like previously speculated, just one of the cheap pranks he is trying to pull on you.

Homophobic people are known to play cruel jokes on people, and they couldn't care less how you feel.

Don't victimize yourself!

Edited April 25, 2010 by BP-stock

[Guest looking for heatache.]

The guy you mentioned is a time bomb believe me.

I f you are your own man, and you can afford emotionally, physically and finacially to loose this group as afriends and support and you have the wits to play mind games with this cruel but sexy guy than go ahead and play this dangerous games with him and the group.

If you are not your owm man and you cannot and do no have the mental toughness to play mind games and call your own shots then just be meek and not fall into the trap lay out by this cruel guy.

But i guess in this game of seduction he already has the upper hand because you seem to have a soft spot for this cruel guy and you are willing to take a hit even if he gets the blowjob from you and he ignores you after that like a used play thing to be thrown away.

This is a cruel and sad mind game if you are mentally able to take it okay, but if not it may affect you ability to work , I think.

[Monsieur]

Hi guys,

thank you for all your valuable advices. Today I was thrown in a situation I had least expected, it basically caught me off guard.

The group had suggested to meet for coffee in town and i got to our usual hangout earlier than everyone else. M had arrived early too, just minutes after I did. He joined me at the table though we did not really speak for a bit, there was a little awkward tension going on. I sat facing the establishment but from the corners of my eyes, I could tell that he was studying or observing me. He soon started the conversation, asking if my weekend went alright. About 10 minutes into the chat, all awkwardness was dissipated and we were our usual selves, joking, laughing...bitching even. But unexpectedly, he dropped a question I couldn't comprehend fully at first, I was not even sure if I heard right. He said:, "Hey, would you mind giving me a blow?". That kinda caused a built up in silence for a good 5 minutes or more...I was petrified. I stared at him with disbelief, and replied:, "I think you'll have to go to a hairdressers for that, I haven't got the skills in that department". He laughed...hard. Then he said that I should know what he is referring to.

Our friends arrived just about then, and everything went back to how it was...with all that teasing and jibes. At one point he even pinched me in the buttocks commenting how firm they are. Everyone were cracking up except me.

As I was heading home, I received a sms from him and he asked me if I have considered on his proposition. I have yet to reply him. Weird though, i do admit I am really attracted to him. He is not exactly the best looker around but he has got the most overall package, knows who to dress himself, fit and tone physique, the right height, knows when to put on his glasses and when not to, grins silly, manly voice, smells heavenly, soft but firm touch, strong hands, flawless skin...I think i am smitten...and perhaps in trouble?

Hello Clueless!

I think I understand perfectly how it feels like to be in such an awkward situation. Well, if I may share my experience, when I was in secondary school (moderators, note the usage of "was"), I had a deep crush on my Humanities teacher. Unbeknownst to me, he was married to the Humanities HOD who was a charming lady. He was the rough type; a typical military man and he caught my heart with his charming smile and his rugged personality which I found very sexy. So, what happened was that he got to know about my crush on him because apparently, my friends bitched about me. From that day on, he gave me the cold shoulder in class and my classmates would crack stupid jokes about me and him being together. I thought he hated me as he was exceptionally cold to me during class. I even remembered him asking my friend(s) to pass my notes to me even though I was just in front of him. One day, I was so tired from PE (I had PE in the first period) that I slept in class for the whole hour. When I woke up, everyone was leaving and my notes and stationaries were still on the table unpacked. I hurriedly packed my stuffs while being in the classroom alone with him as he was also packing his laptop up (OH GOD, that moment right there was the most awkward moment EVER). What happened next startled me. He came up to me and started to talk to me in the sweetest voice ever. I regret that I did not jump up and made love to him right there and then. I sensed that he kind of like me but I just couldn't work out the whole thing. I did not talk to him from that day onwards, all the way to my graduation from my secondary school. On Friday, during assembly (I am in Year 2, JC now), HE WAS INTRODUCED AS THE NEW TEACHER IN SCHOOL. I freaked out.

So, I think if you really like him, go for it. However, be prepared for the risk of being exposed to the entire group. Follow your heart if not your Gay-dar.

All the best! :thumb:

Monsieur

[koolkai]

Can anyone help me out here? I am sure some of you guys are in the exact same position as i am.

I recently befriended this guy through a few acquaintances. These group of friends are all straight and they have the slightest inkling that i am homosexual. Lets just call this new guy M. So M and I were quick to get on as chums, I suppose we have great chemistry and seem to enjoy similar things and even share habits. Even as buddy as we are, we are not the touch and feel types - no arms over shoulders and pat on the backs, stuff like these. Until recently, he placed his hand on my thigh and i had quite the instantaneous hard on. Another bit about this group of guys i hang out with, they are extremely homophobic, to the extent that they would put them down each time they spot one. Okay, anyway, M noticed the tent and we had an awkward moment...that was the beginning of a chain of dilemma inducing events that i cant figure out.

He starts to act really weird, avoiding me in situations when i am alone with him. But when we are in the group, sometimes, he would flirt with me and make suggestive remarks about having sex and stuff...though, there was more snide in it drawing cheap laughter from the group. He would purposely feel my body sometimes like massaging my neck or twist of the nipple sort of actions...depending on how he wants the group to react.

I think he is a really nice guy but i haven't got the slightest clue whats going on in his mind. He weird mannerisms were far from what i was accustomed to 2 months ago. Whats really going on?

[koolkai]

He starts to act really weird, avoiding me in situations when i am alone with him. But when we are in the group, sometimes, he would flirt with me and make suggestive remarks about having sex and stuff...though, there was more snide in it drawing cheap laughter from the group. He would purposely feel my body sometimes like massaging my neck or twist of the nipple sort of actions...depending on how he wants the group to react. quote]

I have encountered such guys when I was schooling and during NS. These homophoic guys do like to poke fun at guys whom they felt that they are gay in the midst of a group of guys. They gain popularity by poking fun in the process. However, in private when I was with him, he would be very nice towards me and made me feel very good. Such guys would always give mixed signals but ultimately, if you give in, you would get nothing but hurt. So be careful, dont fall into the trap!

[wildfireboy]

Hi guys,

thank you for all your valuable advices. Today I was thrown in a situation I had least expected, it basically caught me off guard.

The group had suggested to meet for coffee in town and i got to our usual hangout earlier than everyone else. M had arrived early too, just minutes after I did. He joined me at the table though we did not really speak for a bit, there was a little awkward tension going on. I sat facing the establishment but from the corners of my eyes, I could tell that he was studying or observing me. He soon started the conversation, asking if my weekend went alright. About 10 minutes into the chat, all awkwardness was dissipated and we were our usual selves, joking, laughing...bitching even. But unexpectedly, he dropped a question I couldn't comprehend fully at first, I was not even sure if I heard right. He said:, "Hey, would you mind giving me a blow?". That kinda caused a built up in silence for a good 5 minutes or more...I was petrified. I stared at him with disbelief, and replied:, "I think you'll have to go to a hairdressers for that, I haven't got the skills in that department". He laughed...hard. Then he said that I should know what he is referring to.

Our friends arrived just about then, and everything went back to how it was...with all that teasing and jibes. At one point he even pinched me in the buttocks commenting how firm they are. Everyone were cracking up except me.

As I was heading home, I received a sms from him and he asked me if I have considered on his proposition. I have yet to reply him. Weird though, i do admit I am really attracted to him. He is not exactly the best looker around but he has got the most overall package, knows who to dress himself, fit and tone physique, the right height, knows when to put on his glasses and when not to, grins silly, manly voice, smells heavenly, soft but firm touch, strong hands, flawless skin...I think i am smitten...and perhaps in trouble?

Hi Clueless,

Be alert and exercise cautions as I have this bad vibes that it could be a trap or set up to verify and confirm your sexuality. Hopefully this is not the case...

[BP-stock]

Hi Clueless,

Be alert and exercise cautions as I have this bad vibes that it could be a trap or set up to verify and confirm your sexuality. Hopefully this is not the case...

I second this!

:thumb:

Edited April 25, 2010 by BP-stock