How To Forget A Person That You Loved Dearly?

[Guest elgar90]

I am in need of advices. How can i forget a person that I have loved for 1.5 years and that have betrayed my and made use of me?

Seriously in need.

[Ordinary]

Time heals. You will go through a painful period but eventually you will forgive and forget. Move on, there are many other men waiting for you.

[Guest gast]

I am in need of advices. How can i forget a person that I have loved for 1.5 years and that have betrayed my and made use of me?

Seriously in need.

You wont forget the person as being human, it is not possible. And you dont want to forget the person cos you want to remember the person as he or she is, as a person who has made use of you. BUT what you can do is try to get rid of the hurt. With time, you wont feel the pain as much as you feel it now but in the mean time, you can try getting involved in other things, new or otherwise. You can pick up sports, go swimming more often. Read more. Make new friends. Basically change your life a bit, change your routine a bit. Keep busy, involve yourself in volunteer work, if you have to. There are good people out there and not every one will betray you. Some still will but that is part of life. Take care.

[Guest elgar90]

My teacher once said, time dont heal, time allows your feeling to be numbed.

But thanks Ordinary and gast for advice. I will try my best to move on. But horrible dreams just kept haunting me.

[imran]

My teacher once said, time dont heal, time allows your feeling to be numbed.

But thanks Ordinary and gast for advice. I will try my best to move on. But horrible dreams just kept haunting me.

'ordinary' is saying wat is universally known n correct. I went tru that. painful, end up teary eyed at times, talkin to myself to console. Try ur best to dwelve into ur hobbies. Try to meet understanding frens. Nt ez, bt try. Hopefully will ease in a mth ot 2.

[doncoin]

You don't forget the people you've loved. You just change the way you love them over time.

[Guest Well done]

depends on how extreme you wanna take it. if you're adamnant on forgetting, go sleep around. cheapen youself. go to the saunas and explore all alternatives. sooner or later, he'll just be yet another sex mate.

then again, an eye for an eye makes the world goes blind. good luck mate.

[Guest Ironrod]

Use the scar he leaves as a reminder of the pain and great lesson learn instead of choosing to forget.

Like what Samantha says “fxxk me badly once, shame on you. fxxk me badly twice, shame on me.”

[Guest 转轮王]

If he is someone who worth your unconditional love, yes, go ahead ...

我愿化身石桥,受五百年风吹,五百年日晒,五百年雨打,只求那少女从桥上走过 ... (I wish to become a stone bridge, enduring 500 years of the ruthless wind, 500 years of the burning sun and 500 years of the freezing rain, for as long as that girl (or the person I loved) walks across this bridge ...)

In your case, he had betrayed and made use of you. Then it makes simple -- bury him under the bridge :lol: so that each time you cross the bridge, you can see him and remind you to be smart and strong.

Go see the move - Reign of Assassins 《剑雨》to understand what am I saying. :lol:

[junxiang]

I spent one solid year with this gorgeous guy. he was with me 10 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I brought him to eat the best of Singapore food every day.

I concern abt his breakfast, lunch and even dinner.

When I was not with him, I would miss him, the very minute I left him and look forward to be with him again.

He left me on Dec 17 2008, now almost 2 years. Never a day past without me missing him. Everywhere I go reminded me of him, the food I eat, the place I go.

even my password is his DOB and my BW ID - yes, junxiang is his name.

How I wish I can see him in my lifetime again but the chance is very blink. Guess I got to live with my sweet memory of him and the time we spend together. Before he left, I managed to get the pillow that he slept with, the smell is heavenly. Have been sleeping on it every night and I hope to have it with me when I passed on.

Writing this post make my eyes teary.

Forget him? why should I want to? guess I will never!1

Edited October 11, 2010 by junxiang

[Guest Guest]

I am in need of advices. How can i forget a person that I have loved for 1.5 years and that have betrayed my and made use of me?

Seriously in need.

If u tied one knot u'll hve to untie one knot to get back to where u were before. If u tied 10 knots u'll have to untie 10 knots. U've been with the guy for 1.5 yrs. Probably takes u another 1.5 years to get over the whole affair. Of course some knots are easy to tie but very difficult to untie. U'll have to go thru all the pain urself. Noboby can do it for u. But as certain as the Sun will rise tomorrow, there'll come a day when u wake up one morning and feel 'normal' again. As much as I wish that day will come sooner, be patient and strong.

[Guest To Junxiang]

Sorry to those who cannot read Chinese. This story is specially for Junxiang and hope he understand and move on.

有个年轻貌美的少女，出身豪门、多才多艺，她家的门槛都快被媒婆踩断了，她仍不想出嫁，因为她始终都在盼望如意郎君的出现。

　　有一天，她去庙会散心，在万头攒动的人群中，瞥见一名年轻男子，心中确知就是她苦苦等待的人，然而，场面杂沓拥挤，她无论如何都无法靠近那人，最后眼睁睁地看着心上人消失在人群中。之后，少女四处寻找此人，但这名年轻男子却像是人间蒸发，再也没有出现。落寞的她，只有每日晨昏礼佛祈祷，希望再见那个男人。她的至诚，感动了佛心，于是现身遂其所愿。

　　佛问她：「 你想再看到那个男人吗？」

　　「是的，哪怕见一眼也行！」

　　「若要你放弃现有的一切，包括爱你的家人和幸福的生活呢？」

　　「我愿放弃」少女为爱执着。

　　「你必须修炼五百年，才能见他一面，你不会后悔吧？」

　　「我不后悔」斩钉截铁。

　　于是女孩变成一块大石头，躺在荒郊野外，四百九十九年的风吹日晒，女孩都不以为苦，难受的却是这四百多年都没看到一个人，看不见一点点希望，才让她面临崩溃。最后一年，一个采石队来了，相中了她，把她凿成一块条石，运进城里，原来城里正在建造石桥，于是，女孩变成了石桥的护栏。就在石桥建成的第一天，女孩就看见了那个等了五百年的男人！他行色匆匆，很快地走过石桥，当然，男人不会发觉有一块石头正目不转睛地望着他。这男人又一次消失了。

　　佛再次出现：「满意了吗？」

　　「不！为什么我是桥的护栏？如果我被铺在桥的正中，就能碰到他、摸他一下了！」

　　「想摸他一下？那你还得修炼五百年！」

　　「我愿意！」

　　「很苦，你不后悔？」

　　「不后悔！」

　　这次女孩变成了一棵大树，立在一条人来人往的官道上，每天都有很多人经过，女孩每天观望，但这更难受，因为无数次希望却换来无数次的希望破灭。若非前五百年的修炼，女孩早就崩溃了！日子一天天过去，女孩的心逐渐平静了，她知道，不到最后一天，他是不会出现的。又是一个五百年啊，最后一天，女孩知道他会来的，但她的心中竟然不再激动。他终于来了！还是穿着她最喜欢的白色长衫，脸还是那么俊美，女孩痴痴地望着他。这一次，他没有匆匆走过，因为，天太热了。他注意到路边有棵大树，休息一下吧，他想。他来到树下，靠着树根，闭上双眼睡着了。女孩摸到他了，而他就紧靠在她的身边！但是，她无法向他倾诉这千年的相思。只有尽力把树荫聚拢，为他遮挡毒辣的阳光。男人只小睡片刻，因为他还有事要办，他拍拍长衫上的灰尘，动身前一刻，他回头看了看，又轻轻抚摸一下树干， 然后，头也不回地走了！

　　当那人逐渐消失的那一刻，佛又出现了。

　　「你是不是还想做他的妻子？那你还得修炼。」

　　女孩平静地打断了佛的话：「我是很想，但是不必了。」

　　「哦？」

　　「这样已经很好了，爱他，并不一定要做他的妻子。」

　　「哦！」

　　「他现在的妻子也曾像我这样受苦吗？」女孩若有所思。

　　佛微微点头。

　　女孩微微一笑：「我也能做到的，但是不必了。」

　　就这一刻，女孩似乎发现佛微微地吁了一口气。

　　女孩有些诧异：「佛也有心事？」

　　

　　「这样就好，有个男孩可以少等你一千年了，为了看你一眼，他已经修炼两千年了。」佛脸上绽放着笑容。

[junxiang]

Hahaha, thanks for the effort, I can feel it, typing so many text.

But i dunno how to read leh.

anyway, appreciate!!

[zonnieboy]

You will go through a painful period but eventually you will forgive and forget....

pain may not be a bad thing

with this 'pain' you may remember well how not to get into the same situation again

[Lau Tapoh]

Well, if you're really serious about forgetting that person...just learn to let go of that person and in time you will stop having feelings for him.

But you'll never forget someone you've loved before, so be careful not to hate him cause the hate and anger only harm you and not him. Take this as one of life's lesson...that things won't always go the way you want them to.

Meanwhile, tell your close friends cause their support will definitely help you to get over this person. Good luck...you have a great future to look forward to!

[Guest Friends forever]

Hi junxiang ... When I read your post, was greatly touched. Hope to keep in touch tho

I spent one solid year with this gorgeous guy. he was with me 10 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I brought him to eat the best of Singapore food every day.

I concern abt his breakfast, lunch and even dinner.

When I was not with him, I would miss him, the very minute I left him and look forward to be with him again.

He left me on Dec 17 2008, now almost 2 years. Never a day past without me missing him. Everywhere I go reminded me of him, the food I eat, the place I go.

even my password is his DOB and my BW ID - yes, junxiang is his name.

How I wish I can see him in my lifetime again but the chance is very blink. Guess I got to live with my sweet memory of him and the time we spend together. Before he left, I managed to get the pillow that he slept with, the smell is heavenly. Have been sleeping on it every night and I hope to have it with me when I passed on.

Writing this post make my eyes teary.

Forget him? why should I want to? guess I will never!1

[imran]

I spent one solid year with this gorgeous guy. he was with me 10 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I brought him to eat the best of Singapore food every day.

I concern abt his breakfast, lunch and even dinner.

When I was not with him, I would miss him, the very minute I left him and look forward to be with him again.

He left me on Dec 17 2008, now almost 2 years. Never a day past without me missing him. Everywhere I go reminded me of him, the food I eat, the place I go.

even my password is his DOB and my BW ID - yes, junxiang is his name.

How I wish I can see him in my lifetime again but the chance is very blink. Guess I got to live with my sweet memory of him and the time we spend together. Before he left, I managed to get the pillow that he slept with, the smell is heavenly. Have been sleeping on it every night and I hope to have it with me when I passed on.

Writing this post make my eyes teary.

Forget him? why should I want to? guess I will never!1

i don think u can accept my opinion so, sorry in adv.

I think u r doomed to suffer emotionally cause it takes a good fren wif a big heart to pull you out of this vicious cycle.What you go tru is like the thrill of a person buying toto every week, knowing that 99% he wont get the prize. The thrill now shift in 'trying n dreaming'..not winning.I hope you move on and get a life.U still wanna cling to the past cos it give u cmfort. Who dowan cmfort? but get real..

[Guest elgar90]

You don't forget the people you've loved. You just change the way you love them over time.

Changed as time goes by. It's sort of happening.

But is it wrong to for couples to have a comfortable love? Like wish your partner will hug you from the back while you cook, bathe with him, stroll together, go on holiday together.

???? isnt that love???? Or is it not what is generally happening between couples in PLU circle?

[Guest elgar90]

i don think u can accept my opinion so, sorry in adv.

I think u r doomed to suffer emotionally cause it takes a good fren wif a big heart to pull you out of this vicious cycle.What you go tru is like the thrill of a person buying toto every week, knowing that 99% he wont get the prize. The thrill now shift in 'trying n dreaming'..not winning.I hope you move on and get a life.U still wanna cling to the past cos it give u cmfort. Who dowan cmfort? but get real..

I can understand how he feel. Im like him (lets call him M). But what is funny is, i will only calm down after that person that hurt(lets call him L) me gave me advice. Its weird. M, I've learnt one thing. Hope gives you desire, desire gives you the ache to do something. But when that something cant happen, we would dream. And the more we dream, we get lost in our dream/fantasy/memories that we cant let go. I believed that you have accepted the fact that he is no longer around you, but you cant accept the fact and move on. I dunno what is the reason he left you. But we have to stand up after we fall. We have to stand up tall and with our back strong. As every step we take is a step we learnt. Someone up there gave us so much challenges becuase he know WE (ALl of us humans) would be a better man after each challenge. But we have to and will accept it someday. Its a year already M. You have to move on jus like me. Dwelling in the past would not help us move forward. We think of the past memories, but we should not dwell in it. Memories are there for a reason. And the sole reason is to look at it, know what went wrong, and continue with live(bearing in mind what went wrong and avoid it).

I dwell in the memories of another person i loved since sec 3 till sec 5. Sometimes i would still do that. Now im in Poly 3rd year. Its my final year. (I trusted that L would help me. He promised to help me get close again to the secondary school lover of mine. But he didnt, i ended up falling in love with him, but got used.)and now, my future is damaged. I cant go into UNi, may not even be able to go into ACCA. But i know what was my mistake. And now i dun dwell in memories anymore.

I may contradict myself frquently, but ultimately we have to learn and more on! BUT M!!!(that's not ur name, so im not going to use it) BOTH OF US HAVE TO MOVE ON! COME ON! I know if its true love it can withstand the test of time. But he is no longer there. Use ur genuine love on someone else that deserve it. Not on people that dont appreciate us! Not for people that have flirtatious minds, not for people that generally gets honry easily and cant control themselve and hurt their lover by sleeping with others. And NOT FOR PEOPLE THAT DONT UNDERSTAND LOVE BECAUSE THEY DUN WANT TO. There are people out there that are PLU/ or not, that didnt have complete families that dont know what love is. They want to feel/know/understand what love is, but dun have the chance to. If they have the fate to meet us, and we can fall in love with them why not give them other love to them?

Sorry I'm naive, this was how i fell in love with that guy that hurt me. But my stand would still be the same.

Sry anyone out there, i didnt mean to shoot anyone. But that's just my ranting. Bcus what i describe is what i know of that guy that hurt me. Sry, Im not trying to flame this topic.

Edited October 13, 2010 by elgar90

[snowball]

move on does not mean you have to forget the person totally,

don't force yourself cos it will only make your life more miserable.

accept the fact that he is your past, there is hope & someone in future is waiting for you.

people can only give you advice, but at the end of the day,

the only one who can help you is just yourself,

learn from your mistakes & be strong

Edited October 13, 2010 by snowball

[azuchan]

Changed as time goes by. It's sort of happening.

But is it wrong to for couples to have a comfortable love? Like wish your partner will hug you from the back while you cook, bathe with him, stroll together, go on holiday together.

???? isnt that love???? Or is it not what is generally happening between couples in PLU circle?

No that's not love. You're just craving for the romance. Love and romance are two totally different things.

Look at your parents. Do they still engage in romantic activities? For most of our parents, they do not. Do they still love each other? You bet your life they do.

[fab]

Romance is part of love.

No that's not love. You're just craving for the romance. Love and romance are two totally different things.

Look at your parents. Do they still engage in romantic activities? For most of our parents, they do not. Do they still love each other? You bet your life they do.

[Guest Ironrod]

Romance is part of love.

Different people have different ways of expressing love that's why it's important to know the person well before getting into a r/s.

Normal people date for 3-6 months before going into a r/s but the problem with gay is they prefer to jump in to bed first then date then r/s.

Some people skip dating all together and just sex and r/s.

If you really love a person, take the pain and make yourself a better man.

Pain is a good thing sometimes, it shows you still have the ability to feel and love.

[Guest Junxiang]

I spent one solid year with this gorgeous guy. he was with me 10 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I brought him to eat the best of Singapore food every day.

I concern abt his breakfast, lunch and even dinner.

When I was not with him, I would miss him, the very minute I left him and look forward to be with him again.

He left me on Dec 17 2008, now almost 2 years. Never a day past without me missing him. Everywhere I go reminded me of him, the food I eat, the place I go.

even my password is his DOB and my BW ID - yes, junxiang is his name.

How I wish I can see him in my lifetime again but the chance is very blink. Guess I got to live with my sweet memory of him and the time we spend together. Before he left, I managed to get the pillow that he slept with, the smell is heavenly. Have been sleeping on it every night and I hope to have it with me when I passed on.

Writing this post make my eyes teary.

Forget him? why should I want to? guess I will never!1

Deardear... You really still keep my pillow...

I miss you....

[Guest JunxiangToo]

i kept your underwear too. and the condom you first used to fxxk me

[Guest JX Friends Forever]

Hi Junxiang ... Hope to get to know you ...

[Guest elgar90]

No that's not love. You're just craving for the romance. Love and romance are two totally different things.

Look at your parents. Do they still engage in romantic activities? For most of our parents, they do not. Do they still love each other? You bet your life they do.

Hmm i see your point. Romantic stuff does not mean love. Love does not mean that you need to do romantic stuff.

A younger aj told me that we wanted to be with me. But It wud be like 3 years with limited contact. And thus i rejected. Silly me, back then. Hurt him so much. Haiz. Now i get hurt. All are just a cycle. U hurt someone someone hurt u in return. Till some point in time, the hurting stop. and the cycle is broken. Am i right to say that?

[junxiang]

Deardear... You really still keep my pillow...

I miss you....

i kept your underwear too. and the condom you first used to fxxk me

Haha, my baobei Junxiang is Chinaboy la, went back to China on 17th Dec 2008

He is Str8, I only get to suck his dick once, just once. Paid a real high price for it. but no regret.

Just one suck gives me a lifetime of sweet memory

[mamamia]

Never never love China guys ; they could be full of lies and their background can be very complicated, especially they are from village area and not so educated. I have been beaten real hard and it's a real regret for me.

Now I know why people said don't trust them and this is very very true !

Edited October 14, 2010 by mamamia

[azuchan]

Romance is part of love.

Yes, I agree, but when the romance dies, most of us break up, and look for other sources of romance. How is that love then?

[Guest elgar90]

Yes, I agree, but when the romance dies, most of us break up, and look for other sources of romance. How is that love then?

I feel that, love have to be maintained by keeping some chemistry between the couple. If there's no chemistry there aint no love. Jus like i feel that having sex with strangers wouldnt make me feel good as compared to having sex with my loved one. As there's no chemistry.

[Guest Guest]

Look at your parents. Do they still engage in romantic activities? For most of our parents, they do not. Do they still love each other? You bet your life they do.

Many really only marry because expected to and still no love after many many years. The only way to know when a China girl start to attack the husband. That why mamamia say people say dont trust China guys or girls. If they see a lonely husband they attack using loving romance like sweet words and loving sex in bed. The gong gong husband after marry so many years now then experience really fun with a girl or guy. They hate wasting so many years living like goodu.

Then they really give up everything to stay with China girl or guys.

[Guest Guest]

Look at your parents. Do they still engage in romantic activities? For most of our parents, they do not. Do they still love each other? You bet your life they do.

Most only stay married because expected to. Only way to tell when a China girl or guy attack the husband.

Like mamamia say most people say dont trust a China girl or guy. They will use loving sweet words and loving fun sex to attack the husband. Now then the gong gong husband know what is fun and happiness like junxiang. He hate he wasted so many many years of his life living like a goondu.

That is why newspaper so many stories of this type. From friends and relatives we know there are even more not in newspaper. The husband give up everything for keeping the China girls or guys.

If the parents here are in love why so many happening and people so scared? If the marriage strong nothing to scare of China girls or guys right? This is more they dont trust their marriage.

[junxiang]

i don think u can accept my opinion so, sorry in adv.

I think u r doomed to suffer emotionally cause it takes a good fren wif a big heart to pull you out of this vicious cycle.What you go tru is like the thrill of a person buying toto every week, knowing that 99% he wont get the prize. The thrill now shift in 'trying n dreaming'..not winning.I hope you move on and get a life.U still wanna cling to the past cos it give u cmfort. Who dowan cmfort? but get real..

After spending so much time with him, what is left now is sweet memories.

each time I walk past World of Sports, I would recall running to so many sport shop just to buy that basketball that he want.

each time I drive past Balestier, would remember queuing up for hours just to buy him his favorite Tau Sar Pia.

whether it's his favorite bak ku teh stall, chicken rice or kuay chap, each time I go and eat there, cannot help but recall the time we spend together and always sit at where we used to sit.

My Chinese used to suck big time, hardly know any at all, but in order to communicate with him, learn to sms in Chinese, what he take seconds to read, I got to take hours to key in, using dictionary and whatever. Even he is also moved by my gesture. Now my Chinese got some standard liao, using those 4 words, zhen yu is not a program.

Missing him dun means I had to while away my life, everything also dun do, just look at his photo everyday or wait for him at Changi airport until I turned into stone.

Life still goes on. Still need to work, still have my share of fun.

Thanks for the concern, appreciate it.

Edited October 15, 2010 by junxiang

[loveseeker]

I will never forget my bf - my first true love We had so much sweet memories at so much places.

I will forget him only when I get Amnesia at old age unfortunately

[Hardoegy]

There comes a point in your life, when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about the people from your past. There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

[Guest Chinaboy]

After spending so much time with him, what is left now is sweet memories.

each time I walk past World of Sports, I would recall running to so many sport shop just to buy that basketball that he want.

each time I drive past Balestier, would remember queuing up for hours just to buy him his favorite Tau Sar Pia.

whether it's his favorite bak ku teh stall, chicken rice or kuay chap, each time I go and eat there, cannot help but recall the time we spend together and always sit at where we used to sit.

My Chinese used to suck big time, hardly know any at all, but in order to communicate with him, learn to sms in Chinese, what he take seconds to read, I got to take hours to key in, using dictionary and whatever. Even he is also moved by my gesture. Now my Chinese got some standard liao, using those 4 words, zhen yu is not a program.

Missing him dun means I had to while away my life, everything also dun do, just look at his photo everyday or wait for him at Changi airport until I turned into stone.

Life still goes on. Still need to work, still have my share of fun.

Thanks for the concern, appreciate it.

Cheng yu la, wad zhen yu... u thought ZHEN ZI, 4D issit?

Alamak..2 years and only suck his dick once...while he got so much from u. ...tausarpiah and basketball tsktsk

NO NO I GAVE HIM OUT OF MY FREE WILL.. u might say

And we can say HE HAS TRAINED AND TRICKED U WELL. hahahah

[junxiang]

Cheng yu la, wad zhen yu... u thought ZHEN ZI, 4D issit?

Alamak..2 years and only suck his dick once...while he got so much from u. ...tausarpiah and basketball tsktsk

NO NO I GAVE HIM OUT OF MY FREE WILL.. u might say

And we can say HE HAS TRAINED AND TRICKED U WELL. hahahah

U obviously dun know much about China boys. Not all Chinaboy will do anything for money.

U are talking about the callboys and money boys and all those who dun mind having sex with guys-maybe yes.

Many of the Chinaboys I fancied are those drop dead gorgeous guy that I approached on the road. Not those u find online.

They are 100% straight and can be very nice chatter with you for hours or days until u brought up the subject on SEX. Thereafter, they just ignore u and avoid yr calls.

They find it insulting for you to offer them money for sex, how much they also dun do.

My Junxiang pride himself as a Cassanova, always telling me how he fxxk this girl and that girl.

The provinces that they come from also plays a part. Those from poorer areas like Shangdong maybe got better chance but those from Shanghai, super snob.

[fab]

NEVER fall for a straight guy, be he from a village or city, highly educated or not.

[snowball]

no matter who you loved, when relationship turn sour, just let it go even you deeply hurt,

most important, don't let your heart become evil & ugly.

you won't forget a person you ever loved, but the feel may eventually fade one day,

when 2 person no longer together, does not always the case that both not deeply in love anymore,

human are complicated.

Edited October 19, 2010 by snowball

[Guest faynic]

I feel that no matter how long the r/s is, u will feel the same amount of pain if u really love him deeply.

For my case, today is my 2nd month with my first bf and I just got betrayed by him.

Even though it's only 2 months, but I already put in all my heart and now I really dun know wat I should do too.

I dun think it's easy to forget because if 1 can forget tat easily, it means 1 nv luv him tat much actually. Wat I will try is remember the gd and forget the bad so it will always be tat beautiful first luv. if cannot forget, then choose to forgive becos its a torture to hate.

Well, it's easy to say then to act but wat can i do now? i cannot be 一哭二闹三上吊 rite? i hope to adjust & welcome a better person next.....

[junxiang]

I feel that no matter how long the r/s is, u will feel the same amount of pain if u really love him deeply.

For my case, today is my 2nd month with my first bf and I just got betrayed by him.

Even though it's only 2 months, but I already put in all my heart and now I really dun know wat I should do too.

I dun think it's easy to forget because if 1 can forget tat easily, it means 1 nv luv him tat much actually. Wat I will try is remember the gd and forget the bad so it will always be tat beautiful first luv. if cannot forget, then choose to forgive becos its a torture to hate.

Well, it's easy to say then to act but wat can i do now? i cannot be 一哭二闹三上吊 rite? i hope to adjust & welcome a better person next.....

How he betray u? left u for someone else? or did something wrong?

[Mandrake]

Yes, I agree, but when the romance dies, most of us break up, and look for other sources of romance. How is that love then?

When love matures, loyalty sets in. It is like family love too.

If such loyalty did not develop after a period of time, it is not love but infatuation.

Or perhaps, it was destroyed due to betrayal. Even sometimes in families, where blood is thicker then water, betrayal breaks it.

Truthfulness and transparency is important when love matures.

Before that, some graces should be given.

Edited October 20, 2010 by Mandrake

[Guest Guest]

Good advice. I try to follow.

no matter who you loved, when relationship turn sour, just let it go even you deeply hurt,

most important, don't let your heart become evil & ugly.

you won't forget a person you ever loved, but the feel may eventually fade one day,

when 2 person no longer together, does not always the case that both not deeply in love anymore,

human are complicated.

[Guest TPY]

You will never forget someone that you truly, deeply in loved with. The worse if when he hurt you or betrayed you so badly that all the sweet memories sort of like molded in your heart. Met this guy and we had the greatest sex and kisses everytime we meet. Deeply in love with him and he was the best I ever had! Until today, the feeling is always there kept at the bottom of my heart. I missed the night we have sex, the smell of his body and his face and even down to what he was wearing on our last date.

When I found out he was attached. his bf called me and realized he lied everything to me, I let go. Still see him very often in the same gym however we are stranger now. I don't think I will ever want him back again or to have anything to do with him. No second chance to get hurt by him again. Sometimes I just wish we will never see each other again. Times flies, after many years I'm attached now. However he always the best I ever had

[Guest Yu Zhou]

U obviously dun know much about China boys. Not all Chinaboy will do anything for money.

U are talking about the callboys and money boys and all those who dun mind having sex with guys-maybe yes.

Many of the Chinaboys I fancied are those drop dead gorgeous guy that I approached on the road. Not those u find online.

They are 100% straight and can be very nice chatter with you for hours or days until u brought up the subject on SEX. Thereafter, they just ignore u and avoid yr calls.

They find it insulting for you to offer them money for sex, how much they also dun do.

My Junxiang pride himself as a Cassanova, always telling me how he fxxk this girl and that girl.

The provinces that they come from also plays a part. Those from poorer areas like Shangdong maybe got better chance but those from Shanghai, super snob.

That sounds like a sexual predator.

pretend to befriend them before broaching on the SEX part.

China boys are here to study (SHANGHAI maybe), work (SHANDONG maybe)... Please dont sexploit them for your own sick pleasure.

[lohwpr]

You will never forget someone that you truly, deeply in loved with. The worse if when he hurt you or betrayed you so badly that all the sweet memories sort of like molded in your heart. Met this guy and we had the greatest sex and kisses everytime we meet. Deeply in love with him and he was the best I ever had! Until today, the feeling is always there kept at the bottom of my heart. I missed the night we have sex, the smell of his body and his face and even down to what he was wearing on our last date.

When I found out he was attached. his bf called me and realized he lied everything to me, I let go. Still see him very often in the same gym however we are stranger now. I don't think I will ever want him back again or to have anything to do with him. No second chance to get hurt by him again. Sometimes I just wish we will never see each other again. Times flies, after many years I'm attached now. However he always the best I ever had

I totally understand how u feel.

[Guest faynic]

I seldom listen to english songs, but after the betrayal, I have been listening to Rod Stewart - I Don't Want To Talk About It

"i don't want to talk about it, HOW YOU BROKE MY HEART"

[Guest TPY]

I been listening to Vertical horizon "best I ever had" alot and each time it move my heart..."

But it's not so bad, you're only the best I ever had, I don't want you back. You're just the best I ever had"

[TheVisitors]

Two points I like to add.

Which is more painful ?

Two people still love each other very deeply, But due to unforseen circumstances, you have to let each other go.

Or

Ending a relationship because there is no more chemistry between themselves, or that there was some betrayal.

Sometimes I see a couple still hang on to each other, even there is no love but fights are so frequent between them.

I see it as them having so much insecurities abouth themselves that they refuse to admit its over, but they hang on to each other, because they are so afraid no one wants them should they be alone. Its about daring to move out of their comfort zone and grow up.

Its about their self esteem problem here.

People come into our lives for many purposes.

In a relationship, sometimes this person comes along to mirror who we are inside.

It actually triggers alot of issues we have inside of us, so when a relationship fails, we know we still have those issues still unresolved, which came between two people.

This issues are usually created when we were still young children.

Young children are so sensitive to the vibes around them, and the beliefs the adults install in them. If you were told life is a struggle and love is not real, the beliefs you accept becomes your reality and you will see yourself struggling all your life, and love is merely a deception or an illusion.

As children you do anything to be loved or seek the adult's approvals. Thus love was taught to us that way, to be conditional, it is never free, and you must earn your way to be loved.

When two people come together for a relationship, they are supposed to grow together, which you can say, each mirrors and provide the love and nutrients for each other to grow.

But sadly , it is often that when one stops growing, either shuts himself away regress,or withdraw from the entire relationship.

This is when the other, who is still loving, feels the pain.

Then you often see those who failed in one or a few relationships, becomes negative, bitter and resentful.

That is because they are still living in their past pain which is still unresolved.

Their outward behaviour is their natural reaction to shut down the pain inside of them, which they cannot let go or have haboured for such a long time, usually to someone who they still love dearly, but no longer love them anymore.

In another words, you can say, they have disconnected themselves from all the wonderful, loving feelings they still have inside of them.

If you can still smile and feel joy to a a newly born baby's prattle, or feel compassion for old folks who have to pick up cardboards for a living,

then you still have that life force in you to feel compassion and joy.

In Shen Diao, even the extremely vicious and ruthless Lee Mo Chou, can still feel so much maternal love and protection to the baby she kidnapped.

How to forget someone you love?

Provided that person was worth the trouble remembering, if not, let it go.

Its merely an experience, life has given you . When it is over, pick up the essense and any lessons you can find, learn and grow.

Infact, even a relationship fails or you were abused, be grateful to him coming into your life.

Because we often attract people who actually trigger many issues we chosed to ignore or hide.

The pain they give us, are often a big wake up call to us, forcing us to look inside of ourselves,to look at those issues we have being denying ourselves,and hidding for a very long time. They force us to search for the strenght that we all have to grow up.

Thus its time to let go, time to heal, so that we become wiser and happier that we can handle many issues ahead of us. We are able to handle a new relationship more maturely.

We cannot be children forever.

You can really forget someone, when you can finally acknowledge that they came to our lives for a purpose, to heal us basically, so be thankful.

Then reconnect the goodness in you, and then you will see life very differently.

" Put away your past, nothing ever last, if you're holding on, to a dream thats gone" - this is very well said by Madonna, in her song, Future love in her Confession Tour.

When you let go of all the trashy, useless emotional baggages you have being holding on for so long, you will feel freer lighter, attracting more positive things and people in your life.

The joy and love you feel, is as good as that feeling, when you were loving someone.

Thats Life's little magic.

Hope this posting helps.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNRwsDjebNc