How To Make More Gay Friends? - Newbie Gays "how To" Guide (Compiled)

[MlyGuy1975]

Just a thought, as a 35 year old gay man who doesn't club or hit the saunas, where else can gay guys go to meet other gay men? Aside from IRC and Fridae and Gay.com ... which all starts out as 'virtual', the option seems limited, doesn't it?

Are there any activity groups or society groups for like minded individuals to share and meet? I am not just thinking in the lines of hooking-up but when you do meet people who share your interest, the chances of that happening are more than likely, no?

Would love to read your thoughts and feedback on this.

[Guest Euouae90]

How about join some events held for LGBTQ communities? For example, oogachaga? It's a personal development organization for LGBTQ community in Singapore. It has been organizing events for LGBTQ and some of them are FREE.

You can go to the website to look for more info http://www.oogachaga.com/.

They even have some events specifically for matured men above 40 yo. If you want to meet more people, perhaps you may only just attend more of their events.

[Guest me too]

I never been to club & sauna, basically I think that is for hook-up, the case for them to become couple is very little.

I also wish to join some gay society to expand my social network, something like SC, but that one is for aunties..

[evianguy]

Just a thought, as a 35 year old gay man who doesn't club or hit the saunas, where else can gay guys go to meet other gay men? Aside from IRC and Fridae and Gay.com ... which all starts out as 'virtual', the option seems limited, doesn't it?

Are there any activity groups or society groups for like minded individuals to share and meet? I am not just thinking in the lines of hooking-up but when you do meet people who share your interest, the chances of that happening are more than likely, no?

Would love to read your thoughts and feedback on this.

How out are you? cos if you are not willing to come out to other ppl, its impossible to meet anyone, let alone the right person.

[Guest Derrick Lee]

Hey there, there is a list of LGBT organizations in Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_LGBT_organizations_in_Singapore

It seems that some of the websites are already down though I didn't check through all the links. But I found RAINBOWER that still organize regular outings. oneporter, which recently formed, and they are going to make events too. You might want to check these out woohoo.

[MlyGuy1975]

How out are you? cos if you are not willing to come out to other ppl, its impossible to meet anyone, let alone the right person.

While I do not carry a rainbow flag or wear eye-shadow and feather boas, I am out to a discreet group of people. And I would think that if there were LGBT activity groups out there, I think my sexual preference would pretty much be ... confirmed, won't you say?

The thing is, I'm just your average wallpaper, a lonesome joe, seeking to expand his gay social circle through some sort of common activity group.

[MlyGuy1975]

Hey there, there is a list of LGBT organizations in Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_LGBT_organizations_in_Singapore

It seems that some of the websites are already down though I didn't check through all the links. But I found RAINBOWER that still organize regular outings. oneporter, which recently formed, and they are going to make events too. You might want to check these out woohoo.

Thanks, will check that out.

[MlyGuy1975]

How about join some events held for LGBTQ communities? For example, oogachaga? It's a personal development organization for LGBTQ community in Singapore. It has been organizing events for LGBTQ and some of them are FREE.

You can go to the website to look for more info http://www.oogachaga.com/.

They even have some events specifically for matured men above 40 yo. If you want to meet more people, perhaps you may only just attend more of their events.

Thanks, will check them out.

[xxxpartyboixxx]

Try logging on to Grindr or Jack'd - gay dating / hook up apps for iphone / ipod / ipad.

[MlyGuy1975]

Try logging on to Grindr or Jack'd - gay dating / hook up apps for iphone / ipod / ipad.

I just signed on to Scruff ... does that help?

[xxxpartyboixxx]

I just signed on to Scruff ... does that help?

If you fancy bears, yeah Scruff's the app for you

[Guest BWer]

For a start, why don't we organise some outing for fellow PLUs? For eg: There's a SAFRA PK Karaoke Competition at St James Power Station Dragonfly this Sat 26 Mar 2 - 5pm with free (soft) drink coupon plus lucky draw chance thrown in... I am allowed to bring in 5 more extra guests for free. So is there anyone who likes singing/listening to Karaoke songs (the competition is in Mandarin) or who would like to check out Dragonfly or who would like to see Sly Sim perform? Anyone interested to join me? Maybe meet at the entrance this Sat around 1.30pm? Cheers :-)

[GachiMuchi]

For a start, why don't we organise some outing for fellow PLUs? For eg: There's a SAFRA PK Karaoke Competition at St James Power Station Dragonfly this Sat 26 Mar 2 - 5pm with free (soft) drink coupon plus lucky draw chance thrown in... I am allowed to bring in 5 more extra guests for free. So is there anyone who likes singing/listening to Karaoke songs (the competition is in Mandarin) or who would like to check out Dragonfly or who would like to see Sly Sim perform? Anyone interested to join me? Maybe meet at the entrance this Sat around 1.30pm? Cheers :-)

Trying not to pour cold water on your good deed. If you want people to respond. I would suggest:

1. Login with a member account so that others can PM you

2. Provide an Email or contact in your post instead of waiting for people to respond to this post

3. How are people going to know who you are when you didn't even give people an idea who to look out for?

Posting as a guest does not give people the credibility that you are genuine. Any bo liao guest can post a prank online and take people for a ride.

Do the necessary if you want a better respond.

[Guest loner]

as stated above...

i dont go clubbing on sunday (gay nite) as im afraid my friends might see me there if they are clubbing nearby (yes they are straight, some are married but go gay clubbing once in a blue moon to accompany their friend)

i dont go pink dot event as im very discreet (not into gay scene)

the only way i look for for friends/ltr is via sauna (as i know i wont bump into any friends there) and its almost impossible to find love there.. furthermore, im afraid that some guys whom i rejected there were unhappy and might take revenge if they see me on the streets and expose me.

life really sucks being gay. (my true feelings)

Regards

EMO KID

[Guest Blaidd_Drwg]

this is as silly as asking how to make friends itself.

for starters, you need not limit your scope to such venues to make gay friends. It is just stereotyping the rest of us normal-living folks.

I may interest you with the proposal that we have a board games interest group started up yesterday(7 and growing ). Feel free to contact me and I'll pull you in so we can have fun, fun, fun! Most probably at decoder's cafe.

PS: Just get a profile in BW. It's very difficult to make first contact without releasing my contact information on public.

Edited April 18, 2011 by Blaidd_Drwg

[Guest Euouae90]

You can join some picnic or outing organized by any member here. Last time I joined one organized by 'clickclock'. You may refer to his old post here http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=22740. That time we were going to botanical garden. It was an exciting outing, and purely intended to know more people and build bonds with other gays. Even other members they organize a board-game party (refer to here http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=22586) and cycling to pulau ubin (http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=22576). All the mentioned events are over already. But of course you can join similar events next time.

Apart from that, you mentioned that you are discreet but you want to make more gay friends. I think you create your own constrain here. If you want more friend, in my opinion, it needs you to be open with everyone. I myself never go to gay pub, club or sauna. But so far I have met quite alot of gays and enjoy being part of the gay community.

[Guest loner]

hi, thanks for your reply..

i know by posting this, i will get flammed badly and i don't mind.

i just need to get it off my chest..

thanks

[briax]

hi, thanks for your reply..

i know by posting this, i will get flammed badly and i don't mind.

i just need to get it off my chest..

thanks

You can call us at OCMSM 62686626 if you need to talk to someone about it. The hotline operates Tues to Thurs 7 to 10pm and Sat 2 to 6pm.

Go to our website www.oogachaga.com for more information. You can also find the other gay social groups on the site.

cheers...Bryan

[Guest Ironrod]

U sounds like u are serious afraid of being gay.

I think before u even know other gay people, you should sort out your own internal struggle.

Like what Ru says "If you can't love yourself, how the hell u love somebody else?"

Those whom are your true friend won't not judge you base on your sexuality and those whom judge you will not be your true friends.

True friends speaks the truth without being judgmental.

[waterballoon]

I think u just have to be more "open" about such things. A forum like this is a good way to start; u can always strike casual convos up with certain members, and u never what might happen from there.

And a VERY twisted perception from me: The more "undesirable" you are (fat, ugly etc), the easier it is to make friends since everything is pretty much casual. If you're too hot, you end up having people going gaga over you and only seeing "sex" from you and nothing else.

But anyway, good luck!

[Guest Guest]

If you're too hot, you end up having people going gaga over you and only seeing "sex" from you and nothing else.

It's true. Sometimes not easy for these people to make true gay friends.

[Guest dexter]

walk by squeezzing ur balls together...

[Guest loner]

yes.. thanks for all the comments above.

prolly, almost 75% of ppl i know are homophobic and i live in that environment.

am very straight acting, flirting with girls, and have to pretend to look at girls when im with my friends. i do catch a glimpse of cute guys on the road but i avoid looking at them too long. and when i get to speak to some cute guys, i tend to be nervous.

yes, i am indeed struggling, and i think its the last straw.

voicing out on forums indeed make me feel better, i felt relieved when you guys provided your opinion here. (aside to briax, i feel more comfortable voicing out here.. thanks for your concern)

[MlyGuy1975]

as stated above...

i dont go clubbing on sunday (gay nite) as im afraid my friends might see me there if they are clubbing nearby (yes they are straight, some are married but go gay clubbing once in a blue moon to accompany their friend)

i dont go pink dot event as im very discreet (not into gay scene)

the only way i look for for friends/ltr is via sauna (as i know i wont bump into any friends there) and its almost impossible to find love there.. furthermore, im afraid that some guys whom i rejected there were unhappy and might take revenge if they see me on the streets and expose me.

life really sucks being gay. (my true feelings)

Regards

EMO KID

I know how you feel, I used to have the same problem. My one outlet back then was IRC but that has of late become a 'sex advert' kinda place which make it difficult to suss out chatters and possible friends.

I echo what other's have said above, that first you need to be comfortable with yourself. THAT is one major obstacle for many of us. But seriously, if you can't accept yourself and love yourself, how else can you expect others to accept you and (hopefully) love you too. If you're not yourself, when you do join a group of gay guys in what some call a 'common-activity' group, where does the 'straight' you end and the real you begin? Believe me, some gay men can be pretty vicious, quick to weed you out and call you a fake!

Ooggachaga (apologies for the typo), fridae, Pelangi Pride Centre ... all have got affiliated groups who meet up for 'healthy' activities such as discussions, workshops and outings which you can join and connect with other guys. However, reading your post, you might then find it an issue if you were spotted coming out of the venues of these places. So again, your comfortability level limits your options. It doesn't mean you have to come out of the closet with great fanfare though, step out of that only when you are ready and willing. But do make an effort to be at ease with yourself first. The reach out and make the first connection, because sometimes, we just end up waiting for someone to 'invite us' and 'reach out to us' ... not always reliable, so be brave and make the first move if you need to.

Hope that helps and good luck with making connections.

[cutefacedude]

this is my feeling

beeing gay is ok but to find friends in singapore very difficult.if u say hi hello they reply once they saw ur skinny they wnt reply.if ur muscular nn fit ull get fast replies....or even if u gt body n good looks n big dick u get fast replies but once ur race are malay or indian been told the chinese gays all wnt reply... plus they are not even good lookin..

i dnt knw y ths happen in singapore very racist...if gay beeing like ths there will be very lonely gays all around...shouldn be like this .we all are human lets just enjoy each othr company,,im not offending any races just tht friends is not in looks in heart but if sex thts diff.

loner, give me your msn :-)

[craze]

this is my feeling

beeing gay is ok but to find friends in singapore very difficult.if u say hi hello they reply once they saw ur skinny they wnt reply.if ur muscular nn fit ull get fast replies....or even if u gt body n good looks n big dick u get fast replies but once ur race are malay or indian been told the chinese gays all wnt reply... plus they are not even good lookin..

i dnt knw y ths happen in singapore very racist...if gay beeing like ths there will be very lonely gays all around...shouldn be like this .we all are human lets just enjoy each othr company,,im not offending any races just tht friends is not in looks in heart but if sex thts diff.

second with what u said..

[GachiMuchi]

Want to Make More Gay Friends but :

1. Don't go Clubbing

2. Don't go Sauna

3. Don't go Pink Dot Event

Very simple. Come to BW 6th Anniversary Event

Meet New Friends...Win Prizes...Food..Fun..Prizes..

But, there is a catch. You need to sign up as member. It's only open to BW Members. It's a Private Event.

So what are you waiting for? Still need people to hold your hands to attend?

[Guest desperateforlove]

i have always admired all the forumers in BW and trevvy.... most seem to have a nice and caring bf...

but for me , i have never found one. Unlike straight friends who can pick up gfs in school , I cannot always pick up bfs in school...

How to find a nice bf ?

[Guest Guest]

i have always admired all the forumers in BW and trevvy.... most seem to have a nice and caring bf...

but for me , i have never found one. Unlike straight friends who can pick up gfs in school , I cannot always pick up bfs in school...

How to find a nice bf ?

I fully understand how you feel

I am in the same situation as you.. but I don't think we can actually ask how we can find a bf.

I don't think that there are specific ways to find a loving and caring bf.

For me, no matter how frustrated I get about the fact that I am still single... Deep down in my heart believes that fate will bring me to a guy that loves me as much as I love him.

I know it sounds really silly and naive, and I'm sure there are a plenty of people on BW ready to burst this little bubble of mine.

But there's no harm in believing and having faith right?

Have faith, I'm sure we'll find our significant other halves in the time to come!

[Guest desperateforlove]

Somemore i have a very bad gaydar and others cannot detect me very easily

[Guest desperateforlove]

Somemore i have a very bad gaydar and others cannot detect me very easily

[Scorifism]

I fully understand how you feel

I am in the same situation as you.. but I don't think we can actually ask how we can find a bf.

I don't think that there are specific ways to find a loving and caring bf.

For me, no matter how frustrated I get about the fact that I am still single... Deep down in my heart believes that fate will bring me to a guy that loves me as much as I love him.

I know it sounds really silly and naive, and I'm sure there are a plenty of people on BW ready to burst this little bubble of mine.

But there's no harm in believing and having faith right?

Have faith, I'm sure we'll find our significant other halves in the time to come!

I'm sure yours will come in time. good luck. haha.

[Atrapada]

Usually we don't need to find love. I feel that it will b good to let love find us. Having some aj friends for a start is good and see how things go and grow from there =)

[XiaoMessy]

Find a complete stranger.

Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.

Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.

[Guest Guest]

I'm sure yours will come in time. good luck. haha.

Thanks I saw your profile, and you posted in a thread before that you're from SP? I'm from SP too

[derryfawne]

Love will find you. It will hit you in the heart when it arrives.

[Icacius]

I suppose joining up with gay social websites would help open up ya options. Look out for activities on the forum in which you could also get involved in to get to know new guys =D Last but not least, head down to Pink Dot this Saturday

[waterballoon]

Having a bf doesn't make your life more glorious or anything... Never allow another person to determine the value of your life.

[Guest desperateforlove]

I suppose joining up with gay social websites would help open up ya options. Look out for activities on the forum in which you could also get involved in to get to know new guys =D Last but not least, head down to Pink Dot this Saturday

I am quite nervous meeting up with people over the internet....

But ill head to pink dot this saturday albeit with no pink clothing.... hope u guys can detect me and speak to me ...

[Scorifism]

Thanks I saw your profile, and you posted in a thread before that you're from SP? I'm from SP too

Ohh. haha. care to chat? pm me ur details ?

[Icacius]

.....

Edited July 29, 2013 by Icacius

[autowil]

I fully understand how you feel

I am in the same situation as you.. but I don't think we can actually ask how we can find a bf.

I don't think that there are specific ways to find a loving and caring bf.

For me, no matter how frustrated I get about the fact that I am still single... Deep down in my heart believes that fate will bring me to a guy that loves me as much as I love him.

I know it sounds really silly and naive, and I'm sure there are a plenty of people on BW ready to burst this little bubble of mine.

But there's no harm in believing and having faith right?

Have faith, I'm sure we'll find our significant other halves in the time to come!

Love your post!! Just have faith i guess love will find for u and threadstarter!!

TS, i guess u can join in site like Trevvy, Fridae and such.. And also know more gays friends and who know one of them will be your bf.. Join more group like Pink dot!! I also just break off and still looking for one, so take time and dun rush in finding one!! Wishing us best k

[Guest A waitress]

I'm sure yours will come in time. good luck. haha.

Not too sure about waiting for it to come. I waited for 40 years and still waiting. :swear:

[Guest alien]

Love will find you. It will hit you in the heart when it arrives.

I think love will only find u if u have aj friends. Dun think u will ever find love if all ur friends ard u are str8.

[derryfawne]

I think love will only find u if u have aj friends. Dun think u will ever find love if all ur friends ard u are str8.

Then name me one community/residential area/business organisation where you can only find and befriend straight people.

You have a legit argument, but it's built around an unrealistic premise that one will never encounter any aj in his daily life unless he actively seeks for them.

[winterboy]

it comes naturally

[Guest desperateforlove]

I think love will only find u if u have aj friends. Dun think u will ever find love if all ur friends ard u are str8.

I think he is right....

[stars]

Having a boyfriend's terribly overrated. You don't NEED one to exist.

[Guest Guy Born This Way]

Hi people, I'm currently a undergraduate. My life till now has been pretty ok thus far.

You guys might think I sound creepy, but I have never once dated anybody in my entire life. I've always known that I kinda like guys since primary 4, but was fully aware that I'm gay only when I'm 18.

The reason that I didn't have any relationship so far is because I sincerely thought that it's not important. Or I should just say that I'm very comfortable being single. I can eat alone, cook, read, play sports, games etc by myself. I've always thought that there are really many many interesting things to do by myself. Having a soulmate, well though really good, I'm not really sure I can be a good boyfriend to spend quality time together.

After I hit my last birthday, I realized that I now really want a partner. It's really lonely at times doing things on your own. Sometimes its the companionship, the special someone to share your laughter, sharing the interest and a shoulder to cry on.

I'm totally not into the gay scene. I've never visited sauna, used scruff/grinder (i've no Iphone, not that I don't want), camp at swimming pool for a quickie etc. In fact, almost all my friends see me as straight as a ruler, though a few very close friends knows of my sexual orientation. I'm not afraid of backlash or embarrassment if I open up, I only thought it unnecessary to do so. I happen to behave very straight though at some point showed that gayish side of me. I cry openly when watching touching scenes.

For the past 2 years, I have learnt to know myself on a much deeper level. I learnt that I'm basically a very simple person that wants a soul mate, like anybody of any sexuality. 10 years down the road, I really see myself getting married and have kids. But, it will not be a woman. I want to be in an open, honest relationship where marriage equality is available. Thus, leaving Singapore is a must. I want kids, like the couple here. Am I the only gay man here that wants to have kids, get married but NOT with a woman?

http://gayfamilyvalues.blogspot.com/

I also know that our gay world's dating game is completely different. I'm not prudish but I don't think stuff like ONS suits me. Yeah I've got my needs, sometimes ultra urgent, but always managed to relieve myself through masturbating lol.

Ok so anyway, does anybody know of someone like that? Its already so hard to find a person that you can connect, what more for an absurd case like me, where my ultimate aim is to get married and have kids, and to leave here?

Seriously, this is my first time revealing so much on the internet, I'm really looking for a soulmate!

P.S. I'm gonna get my Iphone soon to use Grindr, Scruff and post here more often. I really really want a good man (Hao Nan Ren).

[Guest Guy Born This Way]

Well, other than the Iphone Apps, where else can I find good man? Many times, I really think its so much easier to date woman. I've met quite a few good woman (Hao Nu Ren) but too bad I'm gay.

Im new to this forum, and btw im the topic setter.